"You are the thing that I regret most." That was the last thing that had come out of her mouth as she stood up and left the coffee shop. She missed the sound of the scrape of the chair leg against the tile flooring. She weaved around a few patrons trying to pour sugar into their caffeine filled cups, who all looked like blurs of vague colors. Her hand reached out towards to the door as the motion of her swift walking pushed it outwards as the sounds and life of the street came into her focus. She stopped and stood for a moment and looked around. The smell of exhaust and sewer struck her nostrils, yet she took them in deeply as her lungs required the air. Beeping and honking, people talking around her she suddenly felt as if all of the clamor was going to do her in. Escape from certain doom, her legs began to move again. She walked to the corner and waved her hand in the air. The taxi came to an abrupt stop and she opened the door and climbed into the back.

"Where to?" The cabby asked gruffly. She looked over at him and felt the gravity of her hasty exit. Her chest felt as though it was going to cave in. Somehow she pushed out an address and they were on their way. Nothing looked familiar to her. She ran her fingers through her brunette hair and the slight waves fell back into place as they always did. Her light, piercing eyes looked frantically along the street. Her head fell back against the seat and she closed her eyes. She took a deep breath, it was painful and felt as though a brick was sitting upon her chest. Her thoughts didn't run to the woman that she left sitting in the chair across the table. They went somewhere else. They traveled across time into when Lena Luthor was in high school.

20 years previously was when she had a lesson on best friends. This was the time that she was learning about what that really meant. It was a closeness and a special feeling. She didn't feel that way with anyone before. Her best friend was a happy, peppy cheerleader. She wore the short skirt and tight top every Friday to school. It turned out in later years that she had always enjoyed how Linda wore the outfit. Long legs that had just the right amount of musculature showing along her thigh. She usually wore her blond hair in pigtails that sprung from the top of her head with ribbons of black and gold. School spirit at its brightest.

Her family was very particular about how a Luthor was to be educated. Her school was very small. Every student was someone who was very wealthy. Everyone felt that they were the most special. Even though she knew she would never live up to her older brothers expectations, she felt special too.

Before school, Linda would meet Lena at her locker. They would talk about everything that had happened to each other from the time they got off the phone in the evening until Linda showed up. Lena always smiled. They had first period together and walked to class and sat for an hour in their boring history class. Their schedules were a little mismatched the rest of the day. But they shared their lunches together. Most of the after school activities that Lena was apart of, so was Linda. After school, they would run to Lena's house since her mother was never home. However, their live in help always had a snack ready for them as soon as they came through the door.

This became who they were. This was their routine. Lena was completely content with it. They discussed boys sometimes, but Lena never really quite found any boys attractive. It didn't really cross her mind why. She just wanted to spend all of her time with Linda. She could tell her anything. She trusted her with her life. Lena realized years later that she had fallen in love with her best friend. Things began to fall apart when Linda started dating Peter. She stopped coming to Lena's locker in the morning. She started walking to class with him. Lunches were spent with Lena sitting with a few girls while Linda spent the time laying her head in Peter's lap under the large tree. Sometimes, Lena would watch them and wonder why her feelings felt hurt.

After a few weeks, Lena was at her locker and Linda came over to her. "Hey! I haven't seen you in a few weeks." Pain shot through her chest as soon as she heard her voice.

"Yeah," she slammed her locker door shut and started walking away.

Linda quickly picked up her pace and followed. "I wanted to know if I could talk to you at lunch today."

"About what?"

"Peter and I got into a fight. I need my best friend." Lena heard her voice crack.

"Then, why aren't you talking to her?"

"Lena, you're my best friend." Lena stopped walking. She turned around and looked at this silly, ignorant girl.

"I am not your best friend. You decided that when you stopped talking to me because of some stupid boy. Now, you have a fight and come crawling back to me because now you need support? What about the support that I lost when you just stopped returning my calls and wouldn't even look at me?" Linda's mouth opened as if she had a retort. Instead, tears appeared and began to stream down her cheeks. "Go cry to someone who cares." Lena turned and walked away. She felt strong and brave throughout her entire first class. The regret began to seep in. She spent the rest of the school year watching Linda from afar. Never admitting that she missed her friend. Never admitting that she had had her heart truly broken for the first time.

The cab pulled to a stop. She looked out and saw the building. She paid and got out of the car. She looked up at the familiar signage above the doors. She walked up past the security desk and went inside the elevator. Arriving at her desk she sat and looked around the room. Memories came flooding to her. Everywhere she looked she saw Kara Danvers. Her face walking into the room. Sitting on the edge of her desk. Laughing. She shook her head. This wasn't going to be easy.

Her phone rang, she looked down and saw Kara's name. A pain shot through her. She wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of answering the phone. She put the phone down on the desk as it stopped ringing. A few seconds later her phone buzzed again. A voicemail. She sighed.

Lena thought about the last time she felt safe with Kara. They were sitting on her couch, having a glass of wine. Lena was feeling badly about issues happening in her company. She felt as though she had lost control of everything. Maybe her mother was right about her. She would never be Lex. Kara was listening intently and offering small supportive comments as she told her story. Lena remembered thinking that she couldn't believe how beautiful her friend had an urge to reach out and touch her. Then, Linda popped into her mind. She couldn't fall in love with her friend ever again. Love and friendships equals the end of the friendship. Pain and suffering was all that it caused.

It was the little things that began to add up. It started to build up for Lena. Whenever there was a crisis, she would call Kara. Kara wouldn't answer. Luckily, when Kara wasn't there at least Supergirl was. When she would finally call her back, the crisis was averted and Lena felt that there was no need to even talk to Kara about it. Lena never told Kara that those moments were the small moments that caused a distrust to start growing.

A small woman walked into her office. "Ms. Luthor, your next meeting is ready in the conference room. Shall I tell them that you're ready?" Caught off guard, she slowly nodded. She put her phone in a drawer and straightened herself threw on a small smile and followed her out of the room.


Kara watched Lena storm out of the coffee shop. Her mouth was slightly open and she couldn't believe what had just happened. She didn't mean to be late for their coffee, but earlier that morning there was a series of events that needed Supergirl's attention. She knew that she had plenty of time to stop a couple of robberies. What she didn't know was the the last one she flew into was not just a robbery. The gang had placed a bomb down the street to distract during their getaway. By the time she heard the ticking, she flew out and grabbed the package and flew up as high as she could until it detonated. The D.E.O. had requested that she come in to give a report. There was a suspicion that this wasn't a human created bomb.

By the time she reached the coffee shop, Lena was sitting at a corner table and her coffee was already gone. "Lena, I'm so sorry! I just got caught up on a story." Lena looked up at her with pain in her eyes. Was it pain that she truly saw? There was still so much that she didn't understand about emotions.

"It's fine. You're here now." It's fine was something that Lena was starting to say often. She wasn't sure if it meant that she was actually fine or if she was just not telling her what she really felt.

Kara sat down and looked at her friend. She knew that Lena Luthor was not only beautiful and powerful, but someone who never showed their true emotions. It was almost as if she lied to herself often. She wanted to help, but knew that offering help wasn't necessary.

"So," Kara started, "I heard that you are up for an award. That's exciting! People are starting to recognize the hard work that you've put into CatCo."

"Oh." Lena looked down at her empty mug, "Yes. That. It's not really a big deal. I haven't won anything yet." Kara felt awkward. Almost as if she had walked into a group of people who had been talking about her and were all trying to pretend as if they weren't.

"Well, I'm excited for you." Silence fell upon them. Kara felt like she should come up with an excuse to leave. The bigger problem was that she didn't want to leave at all. She wanted to just see Lena. It had been a while. She started avoiding her a couple weeks before. They had been sitting on the couch having a glass of wine. The more she drank the more attracted she felt to her friend. Lena had a way of looking into her soul. She knew that the moment she wanted lean forward and kiss her that it was time to call it a night. She got up to leave and had been avoiding her ever since.

The silence broke when Lena finally spoke, "Thanks." Lena was barely looking up at her. "So, tell me about the story."

"Story? What are you...oh. You want to know why I was late." Lena looked up at her and their eyes locked for the first time since she had arrived. That feeling was nearly indescribable. Kara had called her sister after she had left Lena's place. She asked her how did she know that she was attracted to Maggie. She told her that she was starting to feel an attraction to Lena. Alex teased her for a minute and asked if she had started to rub off on her sister. Kara tried to laugh and started to cry. Her sister was supportive and told her that attraction isn't just about wanting to kiss someone. Attraction was about wanting to be in someone's space and life. Friends are attracted to each other. People can have a romantic attraction to someone. But really all that matters is when someone that you care about wants you to be in their life.

Kara was stuck in her head long enough, she started to explain. "Well, I had noticed that Supergirl has been following a string of robberies lately, but the weird thing is that it's the same type of item that is being stolen from different stores in National City. I heard that this morning, that she had actually stopped another jewelry store from being robbed. It wasn't too far from my apartment so I went down there to see if I could talk to some witnesses. Some were a little more chatty than others."

Lena hadn't moved her eyes from her. She suddenly felt uneasy. What was it about how Lena looked at her that made her feel guilty for lying. It was like judgment was coming out of the woman and landing right in her chest.

"Have you been able to get any quotes from Supergirl?"

"Um." She hated this question. Of course, she has plenty of quotes from Supergirl. However, saying that she always had talked to the superhero sounded a bit like she had too much access...to herself. "Well, I haven't yet. But I've reached out for comment."

"Good. It's easier to sell the story if you can talk directly to her." Lena had gone back to staring into her mug.

"Hey, I'm really sorry. I hope that you're not upset with me for being late."

Without looking up she said, "I'm not. I told I'm fine."

"Ok."

"You know, I've been trying to get a hold of you for two weeks to check in and see how you were doing. You haven't called or anything. Then, I get a text asking me to meet you here and then you're twenty minutes late. Maybe I should ask if you are upset with me."

There it was. She knew that "fine" didn't mean fine. "I'm so sorry."

"You say that a lot."

"I've been going through a lot lately. It isn't because I don't want to talk to you. You've become one of my best friends."

"Do you think that we are best friends?"

Kara froze. Where was this headed? "Well, I suppose I don't know how you feel. I just know that I care about you and I enjoy spending time with you. To me, you're a very close friend."

"It doesn't always feel like you're honest with me. For whatever reason, you've become someone that I can talk to. Then, in the next moment I feel like you're lying to me. I don't know why. It's fine. You don't have to tell me anything. I just kind of feel like I'm out of the loop sometimes."

"Lena," She reached across the table and placed her hand over the other woman's. "I have been struggling lately. Because whenever I am around you, I get this weird feeling in my stomach and I realize that I can't stop smiling." Lena looked up at her. "I get stuck when our eyes meet and I feel suddenly as if I'll never be brave again. Then, I'll suddenly feel as if I have the courage and strength to do anything. Anything except tell you that I'm attracted to you." She smiled at her and Lena pulled her hand away. Kara instantly regretted saying what she said. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I regret it. I didn't mean..."

"You are the thing that I regret most." She stood up and stormed out. Kara sat there. Pain shot through her chest. After Lena was gone, she slowly walked out of the coffee shop and started walking. She walked a few blocks and knew she had to apologize. Big mistake. She had just made a really big mistake. Pulling out her phone, she dialed while it rang over and over again.

After the beep, she started talking, "Lena. I know that I ruined our friendship. I had to be honest with you. I didn't understand it when my sister fell in love with a woman. I don't understand why I feel this way. I just know that you mean a lot to me. I hope that we can talk about this." She hung up.


Lena barely caught what the meeting was about, she thought that she was attempting to smile politely. Maybe she was. Everyone had left the room. She wandered back to her office. She finally heard from Kara something that seemed to be true. Something she had fantasized about her saying, was finally said. Instead of feeling excited and admitting that she was feeling the same way, she got angry.

The way that Lena had been raised, she had been taught that emotions are never to be shown. Unless, it was anger. A Luthor must always been willing to show anger. Anger was power. In fact, Lena had always secretly felt that it was her superpower. She could hold a grudge forever. She had a knack for identifying her enemies and using her anger as a way to take them down. Right now, Kara was her new enemy. She made her feel something and then dared to feel the same way.

She started to think about all of the times that Kara let her down. It was truly the small things. There were moments when Kara and James Olson would look at each other and it felt like she was missing something. They had some sort of connection that didn't always seem to be about the topic of conversation. Maybe that was part of the reason she felt attracted to him. She was attracted to his connection to Kara.

There were times where the story that came out of Kara's mouth felt like there was something missing. It didn't quite make sense. They were friends, weren't they? Why did it always feel like she was missing out on the inside joke? She looked around the room. She generally liked how clean and simple her office was. Not a lot of items to show off any sense of herself. There was one thing that she had of personal value. She opened her desk drawer. She grabbed her phone to move it out of the way. Underneath was a printed photo. It was a selfie that Kara had insisted on taking, it was of the two of them smiling. She valued that picture because it was a time that she felt happy and the look on Kara's face was so incredibly beautiful. Her glasses were slightly off kilter because the top corner had leaned against Lena's forehead.

She didn't really understand why she was so angry. She thought that perhaps part of it was because Kara was brave enough to say what she couldn't say. Part of it might have been because it had taken this long for her to say something. Maybe it was because now that it was out there the fantasy was gone. Her fantasy world was the only thing that was truly her own. With her mother, there was no fantasy. Only never being good enough. Fantasy was the one thing that she could have that her mother could never take away from her. Fantasy was safe from hurt. It was something that she could have, hope. There was never a situation in her mind that would end in pain the way that it had ended in pain with Linda.

Lena was a woman who didn't have many friends. She was always the boss. Friendships never lasted and romantic relationships didn't last long either. She knew that friendships lasted much longer. Kara was someone that she had wanted in her life for a long time. Now, that was gone. There was a knock at the door. She looked up and saw James.

"Uh, do you have a few minutes?"

"Sure, how can I help you?"

He stepped forward and rubbed his palms together. He stood on the other side of her desk and looked down and saw the photo of her and Kara. Lena noticed and quickly placed her hand over the photo. "I just wanted to update you on the latest marking meeting that we had regarding the new ad campaign." She looked at him. "They really loved your idea about the CatCo giving back to education. They wanted to know if you could get Supergirl involved."

"I don't generally have a way to get in touch with her., that's usually something I ask Kara to do."

"I can talk with her about it. Unless you'd like to ask her yourself."

"Please take care of it. I've got a call here in a few moments." James leaned forward for a brief moment as if he had something else to say. Instead he just nodded and slowly came out the way he came. She moved her hand and looked at the photo. Anger rose in her chest again. She grabbed it and threw it back in the drawer and slammed it shut. She grabbed her phone and things and headed out.


Kara walked into her apartment. She plopped down on the couch with a huff. Her brain was racing a mile a minute. She had imagined so many times about telling Lena how she was feeling and it never ended like that. She wondered if Alex ever worried about losing friends because she was gay. Wait. Was she gay too? Did there have to be a label? She'd never felt like this since Mon-El. Truth be told, she'd felt this way towards Lena all along. The way she commanded a room full of people, she was vibrant and confident. Incredibly smart and had overcome a lot in her life to be the woman she was today. Kara admired her greatly and felt drawn to her.

There was a knock at the door. She had hoped that Lena was going to show up. She jumped off the couch and took a deep breath. She walked to the door and opened it. Her chest fell as Alex stood there. "Oh, it's you." She turned and walked back to her spot on the couch.

"Well, hello to you too!" Alex said as she walked in and closed the door. She sat down next to her sister. "What the hell was that? You gave us a good lead this morning. Winn was able to use the part of the bomb that you brought back to identify some of the elements used. He thinks he can find a signature to get an idea of who made the bomb."

"Good."

"Hey, what's going on?"

Kara looked up at her sister. "I was an idiot and I told Lena I was attracted to her. She got angry and said she only ever regretted me. She didn't even let me apologize."

"Apologize? For being honest? That's ridiculous. Kara, that was brave." Alex softened her face. It was warm and loving. Kara was suddenly grateful that she was there.

"I think I lost my friend." She grabbed a pillow and held it to her chest. "She won't answer my phone calls and I screwed up.

"Look, it's not easy to have feelings for someone who doesn't return the feelings. But honestly, I think that if she was really your friend, it wouldn't make a difference. If she liked you before and wanted to be your friend, she would be. This is her loss. I know that it feels that you lost her. But it's the other way around."

"Why would she be my friend? That's so awkward. Everything that I do, she'll think, 'Oh, Kara just said that because she's in love with me.' And then everything will always be skewed."

"Kara, you are friends with Winn. He was madly in love with you and you never stopped being his friend. Why didn't you stop being his friend?"

Kara stopped breathing for a moment. "Because I still cared about him. He's my friend no matter what. I told him where I stood and he respected that."

"Lena has that same option. Just give her some space." Her phone rang. "Danvers."

Kara sat up with a bit more interest. She listened for a few moments until Alex finished with, "We'll be right there." She looked at Kara. Who was already in her suit ready to go. "Aww man, are we flying in?" Kara smiled. "Can you at least not hold me so tight this time?" Kara laughed and grabbed her sister by the waist and out they went through the window.