I Dare You...
"YES! Scored again!" yelled Dil Pickles. Dil was playing Go Fish with Chuckie at the lunch table.
"Aww...you ALWAYS win. How do you do it?" moped Chuckie over his loss.
"I have my ways..." Dil said, raising his eyebrows mysteriously.
Across the table, Phil, Kimi, and Tommy sat quietly. Tommy poked at the odd-colored meat on his lunch tray, Phil amused himself in various ways, and Kimi thought of a thousand reasons why canned tuna should be banned from the cafeteria. Tommy was the first to speak.
"Uh...you guys ready for today's biology test?"
Phil smirked. "No. I'll bet anyone here fifty bucks that Beaker postpones the test once he sees that nobody gives a crap about cell reproduction."
"Is that your most creative way to earn fifty dollars, Phil?" Kimi asked, clearly amused. "If that's your best try, I've got something else for you to do."
"Does it involve the fire hose and a hundred banana peels?" Phil inquired, painfully remembering last time Kimi dared him to do something.
"No. I'm not gonna risk another visit to the school therapist," Kimi sighed. "I'm thinking of something even better. Lil's home today, right?"
"Yeah. She faked a temperature of 102.4-F at three in the morning."
"Good. Come with me." Kimi got up, took Phil by the hand, and dragged him to the nearest telephone.
...Five Minutes Later...
"You know what to do, Phil." Kimi crossed her arms and grinned. "Dial the phone."
"Yes, master." Phil dialed his home phone number and waited for someone to pick up. He heard his sister's voice on the other end.
"Y'ello?"
"Lil? Is Mom there?"
"Phil, what do you want?"
"Lemme talk to Mom!"
"Dude, she's at work. What do you want?"
"Can you just go get her for me?"
"I'm busy right now, Phil."
"Auuugggghhh..."
"Is this a dare?"
"No! What the heck makes you think that?"
"What do you need, Phil?"
"I don't feel good. Can you get Mom to pick me up?"
"No."
"Well, can you do me a favor then?"
"What, Philip?"
"Can you bring me my Chapstick?"
"No. And stop acting like Napoleon Dynamite."
"Fine! 'Bye!"
"Goodbye." Lil hung up.
Kimi tried to restrain her laughter as Phil hung up the phone. "(giggle) Uh, nice job, Phil!"
"Thanks. Now gimme my fifty bucks."
Kimi reached into her pocket. It was empty. "Oh crap, I don't have any money with me."
"You stiffed me!" Phil exclaimed in fake anger.
"No problem. I'll pay you back eventually." Kimi casually kissed Phil on the forehead and said, "See you in biology. Good luck on the test!"
THE END
a/n: Really, I don't expect reviews for this one. Try not to flame or bash me on the plot, because it's the best I could do at one-thirty in the morning with a pounding headache. Blah...
Disclaimer: I don't own Rugrats or AGU. If I did, that "TP + KF" episode would never have aired, and Olivia, Rachel, Wally, Z, Nicole, Savannah, Trevor, and Sean wouldn't exist. AGU belongs to the ever-irritating Klasky-Csupo. I also don't own Napoleon Dynamite. (The plot is property of Jared Hess, and I guess the character belongs to Jon Heder, Napoleon's actor.)
I don't have much else planned for the future, with the exception of a re-interpretation of the short story "The Fallen Angel". Uh...I dunno when it's gonna be up.
