It was a cold night when it happened, the whole clan was destroyed. My mother, father and my elder brother was killed in the fire caused by the greedy humans. But I never once resented humans, that is because I was rescued by one. It was shortly after it happened, I somehow ended up roaming the street. I could not remember how I got away, but the last memory before that was my brother's gentle smile and our promise.

"Chihana, you should go and rest…you've been on guard for the whole day"

The voice belong to, Kondou Isami, the commander of Shinsengumi and also my adopted brother. That night when I was roaming the street, I met him and eldest brother, Sobei. The Kondou family took me in and took care of me as if I was their flesh and blood. If it weren't for them, I would've died and I owe them my life for that.

"I will do that, onii-sama"

I smiled as I hopped off the mansion's roof, at the same time, Hijikata and the others came back.

"Hijika-"

Noticing how sullen the group look made notice another presence, which made me surprised. They were carrying a girl, she look like someone important in my past and it shook me enough for me not notice her supposed disguise.

"Oh…Chihana, we're back"

Hijikata said as he noticed my approach, I stood there as he continue to make his way in side with Okita. Then I felt Souji from behind, he placed his blue coat over me.

"You're done for today right?"

He asked, his expression stayed the same. I nodded.

"You should go inside, it's getting colder"

He continued, giving me a slight push from the back. It was indeed getting colder and my kunoichi uniform didn't help either. Knowing that, Souji lent me his coat, it made my heart flutter.

"S-souji-"

Before I could ask who she is, Hijikata turn towards me.

"Chihana, do you mind taking this kid to a room and make sure she won't run away?"

I bowed slightly.

"Understood"
I said getting back into my usual formal attitude. Even though we grew up together, but that doesn't mean he is not the captain. Back in the day, I would always follow them around and especially Hijikata. But because of that, I always end up in trouble and having to rescue me all the time. By the time Saitou joined, I decided that I want to fight along them. Although I couldn't become a samurai because of the obvious reason that I was not born a man, thus I took the path of ninjutsu and became a kunoichi.

-

I examined the girl they brought in, she was asleep soundly. Deep inside of me is telling me that she is the person in my past, the person I was supposed to protect but couldn't. Just then a sound of footsteps were heard outside the room, I place my hand on my sword.

"Chihana-san, Kondou-san has summoned us to the common room"

It was Saitou's voice, I sighed out of relief and stood up to open the door. There stood Saitou with his unwavering expression, he stared at my face for a while before speaking up.

"When the last time did you sleep?"

I frowned at his question, he was sharp. He was the only one who notice anything about me, it was inconvenience and yet his kindness was calming. I sighed and gave him a weak smile.

"I will get some sleep after this"

I said, not exactly the answer to the question. I didn't want him to worry, I wasn't the weak child I used to be anymore. I am a professionally trained kunoichi, but even if I said that, he will still worry more than onii-sama. Saitou just stared at me, unconvinced.

When we entered the common room, everyone was quiet. Too quiet and I noticed that Hijikata was troubled. I took a seat on the floor next to Heisuke.

"Chihana, I'm sorry you had to give your room"

Aniue said with a sad smile, I shook my head.

"It's alright, I won-"

"She'll sleep in my room for tonight"

It was Saitou, which surprised me. Even though it was normal since we had to share rooms when we were at the Dojo, but that was more than 5 years ago. After that I left to train as a kunoichi, I'm like a stranger to them. But then again, we don't have much choice since the place was small. I just sat there in silence as Hijikata explained what happened. Apparently, the girl was at the wrong place and at the wrong time.

_

"How nostalgic…"

Saitou murmured as we set our futon. It was indeed nostalgic, the last time we slept in the same room was when we were kids. Back then, instead of sleeping, we ended up playing and chatting all night until we got scolded by father. That was the last time before I set to Edo to train as a kunoichi, after that we rarely get in touch. Only after I was told that aniue became the commander of Shinsengumi and called me to join.

"Yeah…."

I agreed before getting into the futon. The silence were unbearable, it was awkward to be alone with him again. Even though it had been a year since I came back, everyone felt as if they change.

"You changed…in a good way. You became a lot more stronger, I was surprised"

As if he heard my thoughts I turned around to face him, he was in the futon facing the other way. I smiled at his words and felt proud of myself for the first time.

"un…Saitou-san too.."

I answered, with that I drifted to sleep after two days of no sleep. But that night, I had a dream, a dream of the past.

The village was on fire, everyone was screaming and crying. It was terrible, I was young and I didn't dare to raise my katana. The humans had caught me, with greed and anger, they raised their sword to attack. I stood there, shaking in fear. I wanted to cry out, to cry out for Kaoru, but I was supposed to protect him and his sister. Knowing that I would die, I closed my eyes shut before I heard the sword clashed into another and the hit never came. I slowly opened my eyes, my brother.

"Kyomaru-nii"

I called out to him in tears, he came to my rescue. I was so scared, Kyomaru-nii had to carry me through the burning village. The screams and the sounds of swords clashing together; it was more horrid to see my own family and the people I knew on the ground, lifeless.

That morning I woke up with a head ache and only fragments of the nightmare. It was dawn, Saito was nowhere to be found when I woke up. I quickly washed up and got into my uniform and checked in with Yamazaki with any reports of his night shift.

"Chihana, can I have a minute?"

Saitou came in his Shinsengumi uniform, he was back from morning patrol. I nodded and followed him to the courtyard where no one was in sight. He stared at me intently as if trying to figure out what I was thinking, he always did though.

"I heard you woke up at 4.."

He said with a concerned look.

" You fell asleep at 2 and you were crying in your sleep"

I took a step back in surprised, he took a step further.

"D-did I? I mean I slept like a baby!"

I lied, trying to be cheerfully. It only made him frown more.

"You're still having those nightmares…that's why you refused to sleep"

I smiled painfully and avoided his sympathetic stare.

"I told you…I'm fine. Those nightmares…I got use to it"

"Chi-"

"If that's all..i have to go. I was supposed to keep an eye on that girl"

With that I bowed to him and hurriedly made my way inside the house. When I was about to go to the girl's room, I heard a loud thumping noise on the floor and others were yelling; I knew it. I sprint towards the running sound and before I could caught the girl, Hijikata beat me to it.

"You really think you could escape?"