So, I've recently discovered I have a bit of an obsession with Peter Pan. I find that fact that they made him the villain fascinating and I can't seem to stop writing about him…I keep getting all of these ideas. This is just another product of my wild imagination.
Disclaimer: I do not own Once Upon a Time or any of its characters.
xxxxx
I was sixteen when Pan's shadow brought me to Neverland. I was from a good family, not the most wealthy for someone from the streets of London in 1922, but we were happy enough. But that had been a long time ago. Decades had passed while I lived, never aging in the deep forests of this unknown island. I'm sure at first my parents had searched for me, but we weren't rich enough to be able to pay for the search to last any longer than a year. After that, they would have declared me missing. Surely by now, they would have given up. At least, that's what I hoped.
Because that life was a world away. And I had moved on.
While they had searched tirelessly, I embraced my new life as a lost boy. They taught me how to hunt and fish. I learned how to make a bow, now my weapon of choice. As a right of passage, I had been told that I would have to sleep outside on the ground until I was able to make my own hut, so I taught myself. And as the years passed, I grew close with the other boys and their fearless leader. They knew everything about me, and I them. There were no secrets between the lost boys. But for my own safety, there had always been two things that I had kept to myself.
The first: they had made one huge mistake when they brought me to Neverland. I was no lost boy.
The second, well, I suppose it's a secret for a reason.
But back to the first problem. In hindsight, perhaps the fact that I like to keep my dark hair cut short was not the best decision as a sixteen year old girl. When I was a child I wore my hair long, but as I grew up, washing it had become a hassle, so I decided to chop it all off one day. And the wiry frame I was cursed with didn't help. I had no curves, as girls my age usually did. So with my hair and my build, I suppose it would be quite easy to mistake me for a small boy instead.
When the shadow first dropped me on the island, though technically it dropped me in the ocean, Pan had naturally been the first to find me, dripping wet in my button up pajama shirt and pants. He must have been expecting me because he grinned and beckoned for me to follow. I did for no other reason than I had no clue where I was or where other people may be. He led me to a clearing where a group of boys danced around a fire as one of the older ones played a sort of flute.
"Listen up boys!" he called and the music and dancing stopped. All attention turned to us. "We have a new recruit today." He continued. "Tell us your name." he said, turning to me.
I stared wide eyed at the group of boys looking at me, some with glares, others with curiosity. And I did the only thing I could. I answered. "I'm Sam," I stuttered out, "Sam Tyler." I finished stronger.
There was a moment of silence after I stopped speaking that was soon broken by Pan's laughter. "Welcome to Neverland Sam!" he said, gesturing grandly. "These are the lost boys and I'm Peter Pan. Now, why don't you join us." He said, pushing me forwards toward the group of boys who had started dancing again. I looked warily towards the large group, but then the music finally reached me. It seemed to echo in a deeper part of my soul than anything I had heard before and I couldn't help myself. I leapt into the fun.
After that my integration into the world that is Neverland became much easier. It was obvious even without being told that Peter was the leader of this misfit band of boys. What he says goes. When he introduced me as one of them, they accepted it. At first, the boys all seemed to think that I was no older that thirteen because of my size and face, not to mention my voice. I still had some feminine features after all. Needless to say that when I told them my actual age, hardly anyone believed it.
Felix was the first to mention it to Pan one night at dinner. He was the most skeptical. Being only seventeen himself, I think he found it hard to believe that such a small, 'pretty' boy could be only a year younger than him. So Pan asked, and no one lies to Pan. When my answer remained the same, it became truth and that was that. I was accepted.
And so it remained for decades. Until the day Pan found out my secret.
Someone had been feeding information to the pirates, Hook and his gang that lived out on the Jolly Rodger, rarely venturing onto land. Now, everyone knew that there was a mole among the lost boys. What they didn't know was that Pan had been questioning every lost boy, one by one, after which they were sworn to secrecy. So when Pan asked me if I wanted to join him hunting, I took it as the honor it was and accepted.
We had been walking in silence for about an hour, stopping every once in a while to check traps or shoot down a bird perched in a tree, when he turned to me and raised his sword to my throat. I stopped, eyes wide, staring at him.
"As you know, someone has been feeding the pirates information about us and our camp. I'm going to figure out who it is." He stated.
"It isn't me." I blurted, still a bit stunned with the sword he was pointing at me.
"Yes, well I'd expect the mole to say that." He rolled his eyes before returning to glaring. "You disappear every night at the exact same time. You have for as long as I can remember. Where do you go?" he accused.
"To my hut." I answered honestly. As much as I enjoy my life on the island, I am still a girl. I need my space from the boys, so I took to retiring early instead of staying up playing with the other lost boys.
"Why?" he continued.
"I need space." I answered a bit hotly. I was getting irritated with this questioning. I had never been anything but loyal to him.
He began to lower his sword, almost believing me. Then something appeared to occur to him and he raised it again, advancing on me until my back was against a tree. "No." he paused. "No, you're hiding something. You may think you're fooling everyone and you do play a nice game. You fit in well, smile and play like all the others. But I see you when they look away, the way you glance around. I see how cautious you are around the other boys. You're hiding something. What have you been keeping from me and the other lost boys?"
He was right. I was cautious so as to hide my gender from the other boys. And of course Peter had noticed. He saw everything. So now I faced a choice. Either I kept my secret and Pan killed me for treason or I tell the truth and risk his wrath.
"Fine. You're right. I have been keeping a secret." I paused and his eyebrows rose expectantly. "I am no lost boy." I said. Poor choice of words.
Before I knew it, I was pinned between the tree I was backed up against and Pan, his sword pressed firmly to my throat. His eyes flared in anger and his mouth pulled into a snarl.
"I knew it. You're the traitor." He growled. I glared up at him, my blue eyes holding steady with his green.
"No. You misunderstand." I said. His eyes narrowed in confusion. "I have always been loyal to you, but I am no lost boy." I said again, this time putting emphasis on the last word. Pan froze and my words sunk in. After a few moments, what I said appeared to sink in and the reality of my words hit him. He lowered his sword, but otherwise did not move. The fact that he had missed something that now must appear so obvious to him left him a bit stunned.
"You're not a boy?" he asked, still a bit confused. I nodded.
"You're a girl?" he repeated, almost yelling that last word.
"Yes." I continued to hold his gaze in an attempt at a show of bravery. At the sound of my voice, he snapped out of his stupefaction and his trademark smirk returned.
"Then tell me, do you like the position we're in right now?" he asked, his voice teasing.
His question reminded me that I was currently pressed very closely between him and a tree with little chance of escape should he want to keep me there. I grasped for words. "I, uh…" I stuttered as my face heated. I wasn't able to get much else out because Pan continued speaking.
He leaned in closer, if that was even possible and said, "Tell me, do you long for touch?" he asked as he ran his fingers up my arm. "I know I do. After all, we're still both teenagers." His voice continued to get softer as he slowly lowered his head closer to mine. I tried to pull my face away, but he wouldn't let me. "I can see the longing in your eyes. Hear it in your breath." He whispered, lips inching closer. I couldn't help myself, my eyelids drooped in expectation.
Right as I thought he was about to kiss me, the warmth of his body left and my eyes shot open to see Pan walking backwards through the trees, still smirking. Of course, he wasn't going to kill me. He was going to torture me. That was always his style. Because, if it wasn't obvious before, it certainly was now.
My second secret: I am in love with Peter Pan.
"Well dearie. Thank you for hunting with me today." He called to where I was still standing against the tree. "I trust you won't tell anyone about our little chat. In return, I'll keep your secret. For now." He laughed. "I think I'm going to enjoy this game." He said, then turned to walk away, leaving me standing alone.
xxxxx
I haven't decided if I want to continue this story or leave it.
If you like this, please read my story What You Care About Most.
I hope to continue writing one-shots for Pan (each will stand alone). Let me know what you think.
