Chapter 1
It's the summer before she goes to college, but she doesn't want to go. She doesn't want to say goodbye to her best friends, and she doesn't want to get older. She has been waiting for college since she was younger. She sighs as she stares blankly at the coffee table. She just can't seem to enjoy this day, and the thought of her future. She got into uPenn, she made her parents proud, maybe not as proud as they are of Melissa, but certainly proud in a way. At the moment they were proud, she smiled, and she thought things were finally good in her life. But they still feel weird to her. Still.
Veronica Hastings, her mother, steps into the living room. She greets her soon to be college student daughter with a "hello, honey", and fumbles her way to sit down across from her daughter, which isn't something she usually does. She sorts through the mail, tossing bills on the coffee table. Spencer doesn't even pay attention to her mother anymore. Well, that is until she makes a little announcement.
"I'll suppose this is for you," Veronica says, analyzing a nice white envelope. "It's a letter... from Toby Cavanaugh."
Spencer's head shoots up at the name. She remembers him vividly—every kiss, every touch, every glance. She can picture his blue eyes vividly. Every detail is present in her mind. From his sandy hair, to his chiseled chest, she can see it all. She is about to moan just thinking of the way he touched her. But she wants to cry when she remembers that he's gone, and she doesn't have him anymore. She takes the envelope from her mother's hands, and she gazes at it for a moment. What words does it contain? The suspense is killing her, but she doesn't want to open it in front of her mother, just in case it sparks too many memories for her to handle.
"Um, I think I'll read this upstairs," Spencer says, getting up from the couch. "Thanks, Mom."
Veronica nods her head, acknowledging what her daughter just said. "Don't be up too long. Dinner will be ready soon, and your father should be home soon, as well. Your sister Melissa is going to be visiting next week. She wants to congratulate you for your acceptance into uPenn, but she is travelling further into the summer, so next week is when she is available. Do not make plans next Sunday, honey."
Babble, babble... She barely listens, but she knows Melissa is coming home next Sunday. She doesn't even care that her sister is coming home, maybe because her sister has always made her feel bad about herself, but the more probable reason is that she is too caught up in getting upstairs to read her letter from Toby Cavanaugh. She briefly touches her mother's arm as she rushes up the stairs and to her bedroom. She locks the doors and plops down on her sweet bed.
Tearing open the envelope, she gazes at the piece of white paper inside. So, it is a letter. When her mom had first given it to her, she had guessed that it is, but she was not sure until now. She doesn't know whether she should be smiling or crying, but she knows she can't know for sure until she reads the letter's content. After six months of being split up with him, she wonders what he would want from her. Their split wasn't exactly the cleanest and easiest thing, since it was an argument about his mother. She barely remembers the details, since the event was so long ago, but she knows she hated it. She cried for hours straight.
Unfolding the paper, which was folded in half prior to her unfolding, she reads it carefully. Her eyes consume every word written in a fine black ballpoint pen. The words are written so clearly, yet she struggles to process what he's saying. But she reads every word over and over again until she understands the overall message at that point.
Dear Spencer,
I know it's been a really long time since we broke up, and I know that I'm probably the last person you want to talk to, but I had to write to you. Calling wasn't good enough for me, and you probably wouldn't have wanted to answer it. I felt that writing would be better for this, so here I am, being old school! I don't know if you miss me, but I certainly miss you. I know, I seem like a douche to end things with you, and then write you again, saying I want to see you again.
So we have a lot to talk about. I didn't listen to you. I continued searching for answers about my mother, and I found the answers I wanted to get. It was murder, but I don't like to talk about it. You probably heard that Detective Wilden killed her, but it's not like it matters, because he was dead at the time I found out that he killed my mom. I'm done talking about myself, though. I want to talk about you. Specifically, I want to talk about us... together.
But I don't know what to say to you. I was wrong, I'll admit that. I gave up the girl that I love, just because she told her friends about something that doesn't even matter anymore. My mom is gone, and there's no bringing her back, but I should have known that I had you, and that was more important than discovering a truth that has done me no good except brought me satisfaction of my pride. So here's what I want to do.
I want to fix things with you, Spence. I don't know if you want to, and I don't know if you even care about our relationship anymore. A girl like you probably has another boyfriend by now, but, if you're even considering us anymore, please meet me. I'll be at the Rosewood Park on Friday night, at the gazebo. If you care at all— if you still are considering me as a friend, please, please, PLEASE, meet me at the gazebo on Friday night. I will wait as long as I can, I just really want to see you again. I went to Ravenswood for a while, and I stayed with Caleb. He talked about Hanna, a lot... But anyways, Caleb helped me search for answers about my mom, and when I was done, I decided that it's time to come back to Rosewood, and the first thing I did when I got back was try to reach out to you. I grabbed a pen and paper and I'm writing this pretty crummy letter.
Friday night. Gazebo. 7 PM. Meet me.
Love, Toby
She giggles. This letter is perfect. She loves it so much. Of course, she's furious that he left her six months ago, but she still cares, and she still wants to see him. He's back in Rosewood, he wants to meet her, and she wants to meet him. So she's going to meet him. It's Thursday night. In about 24 hours, it will be her chance to see him again. She wonders how he's changed. What does he look like now? Hotter? Nerdier? She doesn't know what to expect. Her life has always been unexpected. She wants to forgive him, so she's going, but she doesn't know if she's ok with what he did. She just wants to see if he can persuade her. And she thinks he can, because he's Toby, and he's always had her heart. That hasn't changed. If he uses the right words, she knows that she will melt for him in no time.
