Author's note: My Femshep was paragon through all three games with red hair, close to the standard look but not quite. None of the squad characters died in ME2 (except half my crew BUT THAT WAS A MISTAKE NOT WORTH MENTIONING). Also I didn't do any of the DLC except the Citadel and Extended Cut (obviously), so no Zaeed, Javik, Kasumi, or anything like that. Sorry.

Also I got the destroy perfect ending, where Shepard takes the little breath and Garrus doesn't put her name on the wall. This is what I'm going off of. And yes, I switched up the order of when Garrus does the plaque thing vs when the Normandy takes off because reasons. You'll see. ANYWAY, long story short, I hope you like this.

This chapter was written to "I Was Lost Without You" and "An End Once And For All (Extended Cut)." Please listen to those while reading for maximum feels.


It had been a two months since the Reapers were destroyed and the galaxy saved thanks to Shepard. Garrus had helped Joker and the others fix up the Normandy within a couple weeks, and they were luckily not far from Sol. The Charon relay had dumped them out someplace nearby, not an uncharted world, but not a useful one either. It took a lot of calibrating without EDI, and Garrus nearly broke both of Joker's legs more than once because of his bitter attitude about that, but the job got done. They all had to get off that worthless rock. After all, the Normandy was missing its commander.

Communications never failed, seeing as the Normandy's quasar system wasn't reliant on the relays, so it wasn't as if they were in the dark. Every night, Garrus went into the vid com room and hailed Admiral Hackett for updates. The human indulged him a little, he realized, which was fine by him. Even if he hadn't, the Council's still held power enough to get him daily Earth intel.

The new Council, located on the Destiny Ascension. The asari ship was docked at Earth until the relays and the Citadel were fixed. But they needed Spectres just as much as the last bunch. Always helped to have a turian with a gun. Everyone in charge was happy to hear the Normandy was heading back, and that the return trip would only take four weeks.

Garrus thought he'd be relieved to go back to Earth, to see Hackett and the Council and help his people figure out the logistics of living in the Sol system until the relays could take them home again. Instead he was impatient, constantly shooting targets when he had some free time in an abandoned hangar of the broken dock the Normandy and other high-level ships were berthed. Day after day and no word. For two weeks. Two months.

He sat in the lounge, staring out at the dusky sky. What was left of the Citadel was a bright light not far from Luna. And there was no gunfire for once. If it stayed like this, Earth wasn't a bad place. He sipped some of his turian brandy. An old conversation with Mordin came to mind, back when they were fighting for Cerberus. The salarian had found him when no one was around and started rambling about his work, saying things Garrus didn't care to figure out or unravel.

"Need to test dexterity of new turian suit design. Don't wish to decrease firing capabilities."

"Sure."

"Oh, and human skin far more sensitive than turian, but interaction not impossible. Careful with carapace. Talons too. Will provide details on comfortable positions," the salarian had said suddenly, throwing Garrus back into the conversation.

"Uh, well…" He had shifted his weight in embarrassment. "Thanks, I guess."

"Of course. Am a doctor, will always give patient advice."

"I'm not your patient."

"Everyone on ship is." Mordin hummed to himself for a moment. "Friend, also patient."

After a moment, Garrus asked, "Do you think it's strange? My relationship with Shepard, I mean."

"Love not bound by amino acids or genetic material. Is complicated, natural bonding impulse. Needs further study. But no, not strange."

Only the stars were out the window then, and one gave the effect of the setting sun on Palavan. Earth's sunset wasn't much different. The memory faded, and he chuckled into his cup as he took another sip.

Not long after, Tali entered the lounge. She came in with her hands behind her back. She was holding something. "Everything okay?" He asked. But he was already guessing for the most likely answers, and preparing for them.

"Hackett called. Traynor thought you were in the hangar."

"And?"

Tali hesitated. "They've declared her missing in action, Garrus." She revealed the plaque. Shepard's name was on it. Like the one they'd hung for Anderson, for Thane, for Mordin, even for Legion. A name written on some metal.

He took it from her and stared at it for a long time.

There's no Shepard without Vakarian, so you better remember to duck.

"Garrus?" Tali walked up beside him.

I'll be looking down.

"Garrus?"

You know I love you. I always will.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

It was clear she was upset, but he simply stared at the thing in his hands. It had been stupid of him to mess up at a critical moment. If he had been there for her, maybe it would've been different. Or at least they would've died together, shooting Reaper husks and marauders until they had no ammo left. Instead he'd been weak and failed.

"Is everyone here?" He managed to ask. Turian strength was good for a lot of things. Grieving turned to anger and purpose. He would make sure the others got to say their goodbyes. At least he got to say his.

"Yes," Tali said.

"Call them. Let them know."

"Garrus…"

"Thank you," he said, glancing up at her.

"Of course." She wasn't sure if she should leave, that much was clear, but she did. And he was alone again.


They all gathered around the memorial wall the next morning, Jacob, Miranda, Liara, Tali, Jack, Joker, Kaidan, James. Grunt and Wrex even came, heads bowed. Garrus was impressed, as always, by how many lives Shepard managed to influence. She was a hell of a woman. Not quite as good a shot as him. But he knew she'd missed on purpose, that day on the roof. Didn't know it at the time, but she admitted it later, when Garrus had tired her out enough to take her mind off the war for a while.

He'd always have those memories.

Walking forward, he looked at the plaque, then at the wall. So many lost. He was going to put it up when he hesitated. Prayers, it seemed, were sometimes answered.

"Joker?" Traynor's voice said over the comm. She sounded excited. "I've got a message. Garrus can you hear me?"

"We hear you, Traynor" Garrus said. "Can it wait?"

"No, no it can't. You see, Admiral Hackett couldn't get through, so he pinged me specifically. They found someone alive in the wreckage of London, not far from the tower that had been below the Citadel." She paused, and that pause nearly killed Garrus.

But then she said the words he'd hoped to hear: "It's Commander Shepard."


No one was allowed into the hospital room she was in except Miranda. That made Garrus nervous. Joker, Kaidan, James, Jacob, Liara, Tali, and everyone else had come with them. They took up the waiting area on one side. Others from the Normandy crew came in and out to see what was going on. The new Councilors came and paid their respects to Garrus and the others as well. It was asking too much for them to apologize for their predecessors. Garrus felt nothing but disgust. Politicians were all the same. He was happy to be out of that bureaucratic hell.

"They'll see to her wounds, Garrus," Liara said with a smile.

"Yeah, and then you two can go back to be annoying in that love nest of a cabin." James crossed his arms.

"You're just jealous," Kaidan replied.

"So are you." Tali laughed when Kaidan stammered a refusal. Others joined in.

Jacob pushed James lightly. "I think it's safe to say most of us are."

"Speak for yourself." Jack scoffed, but she smiled too.

"Thanks, all of you. You're not bad, for a bunch of humans. Mostly." Garrus said.

"Come on, turian." Wrex punched his fists together. "Don't go soft on me now. Well, softer."

"I wouldn't dream of it, Wrex."

The others laughed.

A salarian, nearly black in color, walked out, alongside Admiral Hackett. When Garrus stood up, he turned to him. "I don't know how she survived. The Citadel had no life support functions left. No oxygen, gravity. Nothing. How she ended up back on Earth is a mystery to me, especially two months after the event, but her injuries aren't as bad as the doctor had feared, given the Commander's history."

"No bringing her back from the dead this time, Garrus," Hackett said.

"In any event, she's awake and seeing the doctor. The admiral thought it best if she saw a familiar face first."

"My old mug isn't very reassuring these days," Hackett said with a laugh. He extended his hand, though there was distrust in his eyes. Garrus couldn't blame him, didn't care. He shook the man's hand gladly. "Hell of a woman you've got there."

"Yes, sir. She's one of the best examples of humanity's better attributes."

"On that we can agree."

Hackett stood aside and let the salarian nurse lead him down the hall. The room wasn't exposed. No glass, no easy access points other than through the entrance. If someone tried to come for her, he could protect her this time. After all, what were a few mercenaries or terrorists to Reapers?

The door slid open, and relief washed over him at the sight of her. Breathing, alive, right there, eyes open and processing the world around her with obvious cognition. But she was more than a little injured. Bandages wrapped around most of her face, her arms, her stomach. What skin wasn't bandaged was swollen and bruised a gross yellow and purple.

The doctor, an asari, to his surprise, stood with a data pad in hand at the food of Shepard's bed. "You will have permanent scars where the Lazarus Project initial tissue was already weakened, but that's about it."

"Thank you, doctor," Garrus said as charismatically as possible, though it was all for Shepard's benefit. Look good for the girl, make an entrance. "Looks like we'll have matching scars now, Shepard."

It sounded like she tried to laugh, but it hurt to watch her try. "Glad you made it out."

"And you," he said softly. "They almost counted you out for a moment there."

"So did I."

"But I didn't. Clearly the commanding officer forgot her uplifting speeches in the middle of it all."

"You mean in the middle of the Illusive Man trying to indoctrinate me, Anderson dying, and the AI kid that made the Reapers giving me three choices that didn't really look all that different from one another?" She laid her head back against the pillow and looked up.

"Wow."

"Don't ever ask me to save the galaxy again, Garrus," she said wearily. "That's a direct order."

"Yes, ma'am. May I suggest finding a relaxing beach instead? Earth still has those. Unfortunately your apartment on the Citadel was short-lived."

"The explosive glass probably helped seal the deal."

"I think the Reapers were more to blame." Garrus brought a chair over and sat down next to her, taking up her hand as gently as possible.

"I don't know how I lived through that," she admitted.

"To be honest, Shepard, I don't care how it happened, I'm just glad you made it out of there in one piece."

"Me too."

Her words were hollow and heavy, and Garrus knew she held the weight of her choices around her neck. But he'd help ease her back into the world again. After all, they were together. Nothing could stop them.