Put Your Hands On Me
By: She's Only Evil
Summary: Running from a hopeless marriage, Elena ends up in Mystic Falls to help her friend's newly blind brother get adjusted to his new situation. Will she finally be able to become the person that she was never allowed to be or will the past catch up to her?
Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries... now excuse me while I go sulk about that.
Author's Note: Thanks for taking the time to read my story! It's an idea that started out one way and as I have been writing it has slowly took on a life of it's own and left my outline in the dust. I've read over the story myself to try and catch anything wrong but my often tired Mom Brain does let grammatical errors slip by. I would be grateful for someone to help beta future chapters :)
Thanks again for reading and I'd appreciate any feedback you'd be generous enough to leave!
Chapter One
"Leave him." Leave him? Caroline makes it sound so easy. Just pick up and leave my husband. The man is far from perfect, hell, I'm not even sure he loves me at all but how do you just throw caution to the wind and leave the man you've been with for nearly ten years?
"It's not that easy Care. He's all I have left. He's taken care of me since my parents died. He's made sure that I've never had to lift a finger for anything, I have never worked a day in my life and you want me just to repay him by leaving him?"
"Repay him for that? Elena! Come on! The guy cheats on you, he controls you, he makes you feel terrible about yourself. Is that really what you think you deserve?" Caroline, lets out a sigh and I'm forced to stifle a laugh because I know the aggravated look she must have on her face right now. Ever since her father left her mother back when she started high school she started spending her summer months with her father here in New York City. We met at a party her stepbrother Matt threw for her while I was dating him and we became inseparable. I know every emotion from just the way she speaks or breathes and right now? She's near fuming. I calm myself by looking out the bathroom window, tapping my fingers on the window ledge.
The large penthouse overlooks a nearby park and all of the trees are starting to change colors. The reds and oranges always have a calming effect on me ever since I was old enough to appreciate my family's quiet fall retreats up to Vermont. I can almost hear the subtle ebbing and flowing of the lake and the scent of smoky fires from all of the rental cabins lined up trying to warm up for the chilly night that's coming invades my nostrils but I know it's not real. What I wouldn't give for one of those now.
"Is it done yet?" Caroline breaks the silence that took over and it brings me back to the reason I called her. Our monthly calls while I'm waiting for important results. My eyes flick down to read the test on the counter and I don't have to look any harder to know that it's negative. It's always negative. Like always, there is a single blue line telling me that I've managed to fail again. This time it hits me a little harder and my eyes well up. It has been a year of trying and 6 months of various fertility tests. With Nik's mom breathing down my neck for her grandchild she's been pushing for fertility treatments but it's been one of two things I've ever fought her on. My heart is definitely not in it, I know that we've been trying for this baby for all of the wrong reasons but a part of me always felt like a failure when I couldn't conceive. Esther and Nik were always quick to remind me that fertility has never been an issue on their side of the family, placing the blame squarely on my uterus.
"I'm not pregnant." At first, I'm not even sure Caroline heard me but after a few seconds she starts up again.
"See? Fate agrees! There is nothing holding you back. Come here, start over, meet someone who loves you with everything they are and then you'll get that beautiful baby you've been trying for." Her words spark a longing in me. It's not that Nik and I were never in love. We were amazing in high school. I was the popular cheerleader, he was the slightly aloof loner that absolutely every girl wanted but he only had eyes for me, and we were completely in love. Once he graduated a year ahead of me he went to college but came back every weekend to be with me. It wasn't until the car accident that everything changed. We should have parted ways then, when we realized neither of us were the same people but we both had our reasons for clinging to the relationship. Caroline's mention of a love that I once had before makes my heart thump and the tears that had welled up from the negative test finally spilled over.
"I used to have that." I squeak out.
"I know," Caroline's voice is softer now "You guys used to be great together, but Elena, nobody is they same person they were in high school. Do you know what the odds are of a successful marriage for high school sweethearts? Like a bajillion to none, they just don't work. Especially with your monster-in-law, you two never stood a chance. Move down here, let Niklaus deal with the she-bitch's fallout and you can both find what it is you deserve. Especially since he only deserves a cockroach at this point."
"If I leave, there is no coming back. Nik won't forgive me a second time." She had talked me into leaving once already. Once I finished college and had realized that my fiancée and his mother had no intention of allowing me to put my education to good use I broke down and called Caroline, like any time I had a crisis that involved those two.
"She told you what? That I was holding you back?" Nik has never looked so angry. Eyes wide and hands clenched at his sides, he is the epitome of angry.
"This isn't where we wanted to be. You couldn't wait to get away from all of this when you graduated but look where we are! We're stuck under your mother's thumb as she plans our wedding, she has already mentioned children! When do I get to work on my career? I want to teach, I want to finish my novel. I love you but I don't want this to be the end of all that I am. I don't want to completely lose myself in all of this. I choose you but I don't choose her." I'm working hard to keep my voice even and not let him know just how scared I am. We got engaged six months ago at a function Esther put together, it was always clear that it was her idea. Neither of us were ready for the step but neither of us were ready to defy her.
"You say you choose me but there you go putting yourself above all others."
"I'm only asking for a little more time. I'm twenty four, give me one year. Then I'll be ready for kids. I'll marry you first, hell, I'll marry you now! Just please don't rush everything else." As I'm pleading with Nik I move closer and place my hands in his, looking up into his blue eyes. He loosens up and his jaw relaxes at my touch but his eyes remain fiery. I feel ridiculous having to beg for control over a part of my life but it seems to be necessary lately. Once I accepted tuition money from the Mikaelson's they began treating me like a belonging. Our first fight was about my major. They made sure I knew my aspirations of teaching were far below their expectations of my studying to join their law firm but it was the first and last argument I'd ever won with them. I was indebted to them if I never completed my degree and now that I've gotten it I finally find the resolve to take a stand again.
"If I want a place in the family business I need to play the part. If that means marrying and building a family, it is what I will do. It is what we will do." His reaction is not what I expected and I try to pull my hands out of his grasp but he holds onto them firmly. "Elena, it has been you and I for eight years. You know exactly who I am. I am doing this for us, for our future."
"Our future or your mother's?" I spit out. "We're young. We still have a few more years before we need to decide our future."
"Am I not enough? Haven't I made sure that you have everything you need?" He looks genuinely upset and I waver. I can see his insecurities that his twisted family has instilled in him and I throw my arms around him in a hug. He doesn't move.
"You are everything that I need, Niklaus, but what we both wanted is right within our reach. I have everything I need to become a teacher and you'll be taking your bar exam. How about waiting an extra year so we can both get settled into our jobs?" I sound like a broken record asking for this one extra year to have to ourselves. However, his mother and step-father have gotten so far into his ear that even though I can see in his eyes that he agrees with me, he'll never go against their wishes. I sigh in defeat. "Nik, I want to be with you but I am just not ready for what lies ahead. I need you to pick me. Choose me and not your parents. Give us a chance." My arms are still around him but I'm looking up hoping to see everything finally click into place. Instead I see his resolve as he pushes me away.
He didn't choose me. He let me leave and when I left I found that even though I had completed every necessary requirement for teaching in the state of New York, not a single place would come near me thanks to the Mikaelson name and connections. Once I got a bill from Esther for my previous years at college I did the only thing I felt I could do. I had no family, only one friend who lived several hours away, and no way of acquiring a job. So I begged.
"Hon, he never really forgave you the first time." Even though he took me back and my daily life went back to normal he wasn't the same and it was only weeks before I noticed that emotionally he was nowhere around, then only a few more until I found out about other women. "Come down to Mystic Falls. I already have a temporary job for you and a place for you to stay."
"A temporary job? Teaching?"
"Well, no. It's actually helping Stefan's brother around his house while he adjusts or gets his sight back after his accident. There are plenty of schools around here and there are always people leaving to move onto something bigger and better so nabbing a spot can't be too tough, right?"
Last month during our phone call Caroline told me about Stefan's brother, Damon, who had been in a car accident and was left blind and while the doctor's felt convinced it was temporary he still had yet to regain his sight.
"I don't-"
"Elena!" Nik's voice cuts me off.
"One second!" I yell back before speaking into the cell phone again. "I have to let you go."
Before I hang up she rattles off an address. I slip the phone back in my pocket moments before the door swings open. He's standing there in his expensive grey suit, looking every bit like the successful man he was groomed to be. It's obvious he isn't planning on spending the day here with me after he hears the news.
"Negative?" I manage to nod my head but my throat constricts waiting to be told how once again it's my fault. "You have a meeting with Dr. Sheeran on Monday to get started on IVF. I have to go out of town but I'll be back later tonight. We have dinner with the family at seven, I'll send Kol to pick you up at six-thirty and I'll meet you there."
"You don't do business on Saturday's. Who is it this time? Addison? Claire?" His face remains impassive. "Tatia?" The slightest lip twitch lets me know and I turn my eyes away. Tatia was wooed away from a rival firm and has always seemed a bit too interested in our infertility.
"Cheer up, Elena. You got what you wanted, didn't you? Your extra year." Nik never even stuck around to see my reaction before I heard the elevator close and whir as it lowered.
Once he's gone I let out a scream of frustration. I did get my year and part of me wonders if he was just screwing with me. Is it possible he somehow made sure I wouldn't get pregnant just to strip me down? Let me see this one year that I so desperately wanted pass by without being able to start a career because we were trying to start a family? It's twisted and sounds more like his mother's doing but entirely possible with the bitter version of himself that he has become over time.
I peer out of the window and see Tatia leaning against the town car that is issued to each worker at Mikaelson and Associates. Seconds later Nik approaches her and ushers her into the passenger side of the car. In that moment I quickly imagine myself swinging the nearest heavy object into every single slab of glass around our home. I used to be happy, I used to be bubbly but it has all been taken away starting with the death of my family. The glass shelves, tables, and exorbitant number of mirrors Esther decorated the penthouse with make me feel cold and remind me that it was never truly my home.
This wasn't my home nor was I ever in my own marriage.
My phone vibrates and Caroline has sent me the address to meet her. Thankful for her crazy intuition I silently look up and thank whoever is responsible and rush as I drag my large suitcase from the bedroom closet. I shove as much clothing as possible inside and look around to see what I'm forgetting. I throw in my running shoes but leave my dozen or so heels that I've had to wear for the many events where I've had to smile and pretend to gush over my excitement over my good fortune of being in such a prominent family.
My eyes fall on the large metal figure twisted to look like a tree that holds all of my jewelry. It's decorated with diamonds and pearls, gold, white gold and platinum. None of the rings, bracelets or necklaces hold any significance other than to remind me of all of the apologies or false promises that were tied to them. All save one, the least extravagant is the only one I slide off of it's place on the fake branch. My mother's locket. Inside is are two tiny photos of myself and Jeremy. My mother never took it off and it was given back to me before they were buried. I clasp the chain around my neck and finger the locket for a second before finding my resolve to take this last step.
The elevator dings and I panic. How could he have known? Is it even him or is it his mother coming to voice her disappointment? I shove the suitcase back into the closet and close the door, turning around just as the only person I will miss walks into the room.
"Elijah, what are you doing here?" He's dressed nearly identical to Nik. Only, Elijah doesn't look cold and ruthless.
"Niklaus phoned Mother while I was with her."
I sit on the large four post bed and a sigh escapes my lips.
"So you've heard that once again I managed to keep Esther from her future grandchild?" There has never been any secrets between the family, at least not the ones that I wish were private. Every step of the way they have all known of the failures to conceive and Elijah was always the only person to never voice his opinion. I would get a sympathetic look from him as Esther had found another drink or vitamin that would bolster my fertility.
"I have. It's not my place to ask but has a doctor ever said it could be from..." He's the only other person, who knows the one secret that I have managed to keep.
"No. It has no bearing on it at all." Not wanting to continue down this line of questioning I quickly stand up and head into the kitchen. Elijah takes the hint and follows. I know he can't see into my closet or even if he could he wouldn't be able to tell that it's full of clothes but I still want him as far away from it as possible.
"Drink?" I ask and slide a glass in front of him. I pop open the bottle of wine from my wedding and pour the glasses full.
"Isn't it a bit early?" He questions just before taking a sip. I don't know if he's referring to the bottle that was intended to age until a milestone anniversary or simply the fact that it isn't even yet noon.
"Indulge me." I smirk. We sit in silence together at the kitchen island. Elijah has never been one to judge or stick his nose into anyone's business and that is why we've always gotten along. Since Nik has taken to seeing other women, Elijah and I have gotten closer. Movie nights, late dinners when I realize that my husband was not coming home after work, and my escort to minor family functions that Nik backed out of last minute but I was still obligated to go and "represent" us. A few times I had wondered what things would have been like if I had met Elijah first but I quickly realized it didn't matter. Esther would still not approve of me and I would have just been trading one doomed relationship for another.
The silence breaks into idle chit chat about upcoming functions, a nearly impossible case that they won and then to the fact that Finn and his wife Sage announced this morning that they were expecting their fourth child. Four. I can't produce one single child, much less four. I refill my glass half way and chug.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have mentioned it."
"It's okay," I snort, "It's not like the world is going to stop making babies just because I can't."
Elijah's phone beeps but he doesn't even check it. He finishes his glass, too. "That's my reminder to go. I must pick up Rebekah from the airport and have her ready for dinner later tonight. Last time my dear sister came back from a summer abroad she was married to a man she couldn't even understand." Laughing, I stand up and walk him to the elevator. Rebekah has always been the most impulsive person I've ever met and when she came back France with Pierre on her arm and a sterling silver and cubic zirconia ring on her finger, her parents had lost it. That poor boy was shipped back so fast I almost wonder if his shoes even managed to touch American soil.
I give Elijah a hug that lasted a bit longer than usual. I nearly opened my mouth to tell him of my plans since I think he may just be the only person who would worry for me but I don't chance it. I'm afraid that if he were to ask me to stay, that I would. My resolve is paper thin as it is and him casting any shadow of a doubt on my decision would make me crumble. Instead, I settle for a quick peck on the cheek.
"Thank you. It was nice to have the distraction." I smile at him.
His eyes look down from mine and fall on my necklace. "You haven't worn that in a long time." I rub the grooves on the gold locket that make up a scrolling pattern.
"No. I hadn't needed it in a bit." It's not true at all. I was never allowed to wear such a "tawdry little token" because it didn't fit the image of the wife of a new up-and-coming lawyer ready to take on cases with the big boys.
"Understandable. I'll see you later? I'd say everyone would understand if you needed some time to yourself but unfortunately that is not the case with my family."
"I'll probably just head out to the spa for a couple of hours and mentally prepare myself for what's to come." Lying leaves a terrible taste in my mouth and I can't let the last thing I say to my only kind-of friend in New York be a lie. "Thank you." I say sincerely.
"There is nothing to thank me for. It was my pleasure just to be in your company."
I stand next to the elevator for a minute after he leaves and press the call button when the light shows that it arrived downstairs. I leave my engagement and wedding rings on the kitchen island next to the near empty wine bottle and grab my phone to text Caroline.
"I'm on my way."
A/N : I know, no Damon yet but he will be in the next chapter!
