A/N: Here's a little important info about this writing challenge. Please read these notes before asking any questions as your question may be answered here. Firstly, I am setting the initial rating of this entire series at T. That rating is subject to change due to strong language, violence, suggestive themes, etc. In fact, the rating probably will change. That doesn't mean you have to stop reading if you find M-rated content objectionable. I will list the warnings for each of these one-shots at the beginning. I advise you to read the warnings before you continue reading any of these one-shots as almost anything could appear in these one-shots(yaoi, yuri, sexual themes, etc.). Please note that if you do not read the warnings and, as a result, read content to which you object, I will not be held responsible. You can flame me for this or whatever, but I will most likely ignore you or shove back in your face the fact that you failed to read the warnings and, therefore, are at fault.

Also, some of the one-shots I write for this challenge will not be fanfiction, meaning I can't submit them here. There may also be sexually graphic one-shots that I cannot post here. I will notify you at the beginning of the following one-shot if the previous one could not be submitted here. Usually, you will be able to find those one-shots excluded here on my deviantART, which is blood-of-dusk. I will make a note otherwise.

Anyway, I hope these one-shots, or some of them, at least, will thoroughly entertain you. Your feedback and constructive criticism is welcome and greatly appreciated. Thank you for your time.


100 Theme Writing Challenge

Theme:Introduction

Fandom/Universe:DMC

Characters: Dante, Nero, Patty

Genre(s): Humor

Warnings: None


A content sigh rolled from Nero's lips as he basked in the damp warmth of the towel laying around his neck. He had just stepped out of the shower and only bothered to put on his pants. Every few moments, the dull crunching of his teeth chomping off a soft chunk of the apple clutched in his hand would break the silence hanging in the air. Dante was still asleep, so Nero would have a few more hours of peace and quiet before the hunter came down to tease him and wrestle him for the final slice of pizza.

As Nero took the last bite of his apple, the front doors came swinging open, and where he expected to see Trish or Lady was a young, blond girl. Her hair draped around her shoulders in golden curls and her dress was a pastel pink with a big bow tied in the back. Her dressy, black shoes clicked on the bare concrete as she stepped into the building, her expression none too friendly. Her brows were pulled slightly together and her lower lip pooched out in an angry pout. Dainty hands akimbo, she leaned forward and subjected Nero to an awkward moment of intense scrutiny.

"You're not Dante," she mused aloud, her squeaky voice accusatory.

"Um," Nero hummed, genuinely confused, "no, I'm not."

While he was distracted by the odd blond girl, Nero lost his grip on the core of his former apple. It tumbled to the floor with a dull thud, and both his and her eyes settled on its still carcass. When Nero bent down to pick it up, he was nearly startled by the girl's sudden high-pitched shrieking.

"You should be ashamed of yourself!" Nero paused midway, his spine crooked and human arm extended toward the fallen core as he gawked up at her. "Throw that away!"

Without a word, Nero plucked the core from the dusty floor and deposited it in the waste basket behind Dante's desk. At that moment, the girl was stomping audibly up the steps. She disappeared through the doorway leading into the hall, and Nero soon heard her shrill voice again.

"Dante, you lazy bum! Get out of bed!"

Her scolding was followed by more of her stomping before Nero heard Dante whine some sort of plea. His plea was followed by the thwump of a down pillow hitting the floor.

"Do you have any idea what time it is?"

By that point, Nero's lips were twitching into a humored grin. The girl came trotting victoriously back down the steps, followed by a grouchy Dante a few moments later. The hunter rubbed at his bleary eyes, a frown on his face. The girl's eyes were closed, brows high and noise pointed into the air. She stopped between the desk and the stairs, crossing her arms and staring down her nose at the hunter, or she would have if he didn't tower several feet over her head. Dante sat in his usual seat, too tired to throw his feet up and clutching his head in one hand. He had that thousand-yard zombie stare that was so characteristic of a good night's sleep interrupted.

"You're too old for this, Dante," said the blond, shaking her head in shame. Nero was suppressing a laugh.

"Who is this?" he asked, the humor clear in his voice.

Dante sighed heavily, sounding about to collapse. "Patty..."