AN: WARNING. This is a dark story about rape and its aftermath. Please do not read if this will cause offence or upset

Those that seek to destroy my soul

Ten years ago, Omega Dr John Watson was raped by a drug addict he had stopped to help in an alley on his way back home from his seventeen hour Accident and Emergency shift as a trainee doctor at Barts hospital.

He knew immediately that he was pregnant. The addict, only a couple of years younger than he was, had been an Alpha. When he had been raped he had been knotted, he had lain on that filthy alley ground pinned underneath the insanely strong Alpha high on drugs, while he shot his spunk into him every time he had an orgasm, and kept it inside him locked in by mother natures efficient and cruel key, the Alpha knot at the base of that frantic thrusting cock. He lay there, staring with blank disbelief and despair up at the stars which peaked out between the scurrying clouds, hanging on to the desperate clinical knowledge that the pregnancy wouldn't happen because the Omega had to orgasm during the process, when the evil bastard on top of him to John's everlasting and corrosive shame ensured that he did come.
The Alpha had seemed confused when John had finally broken down and wept bitterly, almost trying to sooth him whispering "Mine" into the Omega's trembling neck as if that one word should solve all his problems. John hadn't been on contraception because he was taking the regulation suppressants, and there was no morning after pill for an Omega, it was illegal. Even if technically you were a trainee doctor and could perhaps in theory gain access to it.

John hadn't needed the confirmation from his best friend and fellow trainee Paediatrician Beta Mike Stamford to know that he was carrying the rapist's child.

He kept his pregnancy a secret, understanding that his dreams for the future would be effectively over if it became known. He suspended his studies at the Hospital, because his pregnancy was the only sure fire way the University hospital could force him to leave his studies and not allow him back again because pregnant unbonded omegas were a liability in such a setting.

He went to stay with his Alpha sister Harry and her Omega wife Clara, and lived with them in quiet seclusion until his daughter was born. He was under the care of Stamford because her sire had been an addict and he wanted to make sure there were no repercussions for his baby.

He saw the dark curls and cheekbones of his rapist in his baby girl but he adored her immediately and it still broke his heart, he couldn't stop the bitter tears when he handed her over to his sister and sister-in-law to raise as their own that first day of their bonding. His baby girl was owed those tears from the father who was abandoning her, who had spent the time of his pregnancy hating and loving her existence. He stayed that final month, her birth bonding to ensure the bonding happened safely with Clara and Harriet, and as his own self inflicted punishment for being a failure as a parent and an Omega.

He had been accepted to complete his medical studies in the Army as an Omega field surgeon. He left when his baby girl was exactly five weeks old, and watched her turn to nuzzle at Clara's empty breasts whilst his nipples leaked with the milk he wanted to give her. He had filled enough bottles of his milk to allow the child the best start before they needed to go to formula. He hadn't been brave enough to feed her himself bar the one time immediately after her birth because he could never leave her if he had continued. Her little mouth suckling at his nipple had caused pain and pleasure in equal measure.

Once the bottles were filed, he had taken the medication provided by Stamford that would ensure he dried up and bound his chest so that he didn't obviously leak until the medication had taken effect.

Clara had cried when he left and Harriet had wet eyes when she smiled sadly at him. "We will take care of her John" she whispered in his ear as she hugged him.

The next time he saw her she was two and when she smiled at him, his heart splintered into tiny shards of longing, regret and adoration. Her silver eyes studied him as if he was the most fascinating thing in her world, and she called him Daddy John. Harry and Clara had both told him that they wanted her to do so as she would have no other father. This time he cried. He had a month to be with his adored "niece" before he was being drafted out to the War zones as he had finally finished his training and was being sent to the front lines.

He tried to ignore the tension between his sister and sister-in-law and if Harry was drinking a bit too much, he put it down to stress at work because he couldn't think clearly as the colour of the little one's eyes brought back his relentless nightmare.
The raging, terrifying nightmare of helplessness, pain. fear and arousal, the one that he had spent so long trying to forget, and actively ensured that he was never vulnerable to that kind of assault again.
He was a soldier now and he could protect himself in most situations. He sought out danger to test himself against it and when he didn't win he found out why and rectified his mistake. But still the nightmare crept out at him and took him back to the day when he hadn't been able to protect himself.

"Mate, look at me, what have you taken? C'mon give me something to work with here ok, so that we can get you treated properly"

John ignored the drizzling rain, and the wintry cold which was biting at his face and his hands as he knelt in the alley which reeked of decaying food and despairing street people. He ignored the exhaustion from his nearly double shift which meant he was too knackered to drive his car and was therefore walking the three miles home to get some rest, all because of the unexplained absence of the other trainee A & E doctor, Sarah Sawyer who had the bare faced cheek to swan in hours after her shift had started with a fake apologetic smile and no fucking explanation because he was an Omega and she was an Alpha and she thought she had the right to do it. Well her arse was so getting reported to the Consultant Tutor in charge tomorrow when he went in, a down to earth Beta who hated that kind of sexist shite.

John gently felt for a pulse all the while trying to coax the figure on the ground to answer his questions. A long coat covered his slender frame; a mess of riotous curls covered his pale bruised face, his clothes looked expensive but filthy as he lay among the detritus of the alleyway. John had heard the mumbling and whimpering as he was walking and God help him he nearly walked past because he was so exhausted.

His rational mind tore a strip of his dream mind for not changing the scenario, for not allowing him to walk past with an unconcerned shrug of his shoulders and just call an ambulance for the man but his dream mind continued this memory in perfect detail.

John was about to call the ambulance when he noticed that the guy's eyes had opened and intense silver eyes stared at him unblinking whilst his nose twitched slightly, scenting his surroundings.

"Good" John smiled reassuringly at him "You are back in the land of the living; I am just about to call an Ambulance to take you hospital. Can you tell me what you've taken?"

But the intense blank eyes stared at him as if his words made no sense, he just sniffed the air again and then turned a predatory smile at John "Omega" he whispered with determination and a great deal of satisfaction. John took in a deep breath and his nose and taste buds finally realised what his exhaustion and the overwhelming smells of the alley had kept hidden from him "Oh fucking hell an Alpha, a drugged up fucking Alpha"

He was flipped over with almost insulting ease until he was the one on the disgusting ground and the Alpha was leaning over him. He felt his legs being forced open, his wrists were held above his head with one strong Alpha hand, he tried desperately to buck and heave the Alpha off, but even though the man had a wiry thin frame he was incredibly strong. John's movements were ignored as unimportant.

"Mine" the deep voice whispered as he ripped his shirt from his neck and buried his face against the struggling man beneath him.

"Fuck, no you bastard, stop it, fucking stop it, I was trying to help you. I am not yours" John spat in desperation, venom dripping from his voice, but underneath it he could hear his own fear.

"Omega mine" slurred the voice before he bit into the curve of John's neck where it met the shoulder. John screamed and his attacker laughed with delirious delight. "Mine, Mine, Mine"

He could have wept with shame when he felt the first wave of lubrication hit because of the savage bite and felt the Alpha draw a deep breath to scent his arousal.

Fucking hell, he was not going to play into the stereotypical omega image as impossible to rape because they always squeezed out an obscene amount of self lubrication when an Alpha was going to take them.
Fuck, fuck ,fuck, it was only an automatic biological reaction like fucking blinking, it meant nothing, it didn't meant that he wanted this fucker to rape him. He had said no, he was screaming no, he was fighting and god help him even begging no.

He heard a click and saw the switchblade being opened, he was terrified. He knew how dangerous and complicated stab wounds could be, he was going to be raped and then stabbed and left for dead, his horrified brain conjured up the images for him, he had seen enough stab and rape victims in Accident and Emergency, when he felt the blade slice at his trousers and pants until there was nothing but fresh air between him and the man holding him down.

"Fuck off you bastard, get off me, get off me" he was screaming, his voice hoarse with the chant until the Alpha's mouth came down on top of his and cut off the sounds. He whimpered into the demanding intruding imprisoning mouth, which tasted faintly of cigarette smoke, and milky sweet tea. Trying to bite at him until he felt the free hand begin to touch his cock, he almost inhaled the Alpha's tongue in shock and distress, as the bastard began to explore his balls and cock until his fingers made their way to his wet entrance and danced and flickered and then brought his hand back up to put his fingers into John's mouth.

"Taste yourself Omega, you want me you know you do" were the slurred taunting words which dripped from his lips and ate like acid at John's pride and self respect.

There was no warning, he heard the sound of a zip being released, felt the Alpha's cock stretch and harden against his, felt him thrust between his legs rubbing against his balls.

Then he squirmed in shame as those long fingers returned to his hole, and he thrust them inside, causing John to hiss with the pain and discomfort, it burned as the fingers stretched and thrust in and out covering themselves with the lubricant, until the fingers were removed and John could feel the way the Alpha stroked his own long curved cock, covering it with John's slick including the base of the knot. The Alpha's cock hardened until it felt huge and he continued to thrust against John's smaller cock and balls. The Alpha's free hand stroked down John's left leg until he gripped the back of his knee and raised the leg out and away to give him better access to John's hole.
Oh god the bastard was going to do it, he couldn't stop him. John couldn't help himself, he felt the tears leaking from his eyes and he begged the Alpha not to do this. The wild grey eyes of the Alpha stared at his distraught face, growled "Mine" as he leant forward to lick the tears of John's face, and as that tongue touched his eyelids, he felt the Alpha thrust and he screamed as he felt that enormous cock force itself inside him. He was going to split in half.

The Alpha growled with satisfaction, and then used his superior strength to sink back onto his heels and put John up off the ground so that he was impaled on his lap, and resting against the Alpha's chest. He could feel the Alpha thrusting into him, it was so painful.
"Mine" gloated the Alpha as he swallowed John's despairing pain filled whimpers against his mouth. John felt like a rag doll being bounced on the Alpha's lap. Then the Alpha released his one handed grip on the Omega's wrists but before he could do anything, each one was grabbed and held against his sides as the Alpha leisurely lifted him up and down on his cock until he forced his knot painfully inside and it swelled to block the entrance to John's aching and stretched hole.

To John's horror, he could feel the first of the Alpha's orgasms as the sperm hit his insides, the disgusting grunt of satisfaction made him renew his frantic efforts to free his arms so that he could throttle the fucker, John wanted him dead, and on a slab at the morgue in St Barts so he could cut him open himself and tear out his evil heart and feed it to the rats in the hospital basement.
John must have said the words aloud because the Alpha fucking laughed again, licked up the side of his neck and murmured with satisfaction "definitely mine, not boring at all". Then he changed position on John again, once more he was on the ground with the Alpha on top of his, but one of the Alpha's hands was stroking him with possessive intent. "Breed you so you can't leave me, fill you with my pups" he slurred against John's neck as his hand kept stroking and teasing John whilst his cock kept pumping out semen in multiple mini orgasms whilst he was knotted inside John's body.

Every time the nightmare stopped at that point and he would wake with a hard on and tears in his eyes.

On his baby girl's fifth birthday, he hadn't been able to get leave to go home, he had spoken to her via Skype from the base, and she had been so excited. Clara told him fondly that the little one had declared it the best present ever to speak to Daddy John like that and had made some weak excuses about Harry's absence on their little girl's special day.

On his little girl's seventh birthday, she had sobbed in his arms while she told him that Mummy and Mama didn't love each other any more and Mama smelt funny and sometimes couldn't stand up straight, and that Mummy screamed at her to stop drinking.

On his little girls ninth birthday, he was fighting for his life in an army hospital ward after undergoing surgery for the bullet wound which had nearly destroyed his shoulder and suffering a massive infection. On the same day Clara and Harriet Watson died in a three car pile up on a foggy motorway whilst on their way to a reconciliation weekend away. Their daughter had been left with a school friend's family.

It took two weeks before John was well enough to be told about his sister and sister in law, it took three months for him to be well enough to be flown back to Britain after his medical discharge from the army.

It took a further five months for Captain John Watson unbonded Omega to convince the local authorities that he was a suitable and proper person to take over the care of his orphaned niece, despite the fact that Harry's will had stipulated his guardianship in the event of their passing, and as an Alpha her last will and testament took precedent over anything else, until he was assisted in the end by the powerful Omega rights movement who paraded his military history like a golden banner, and the authorities caved in but on the condition that he was declared fit by his therapist and that he had a suitable home prepared for her.

It was taking forever to find something suitable for his baby girl, and he still had to regularly attend his sessions with the Counsellor. He was allowed to see her twice a week supervised by the current foster parents and he watched as the little one became more and more introverted. He never allowed the bitter tears to fall, but the nightmare became more regular. Not the one where his team where dying from bullet wounds around him, instead he dreamt of the night he was raped. He had the same helpless feeling in the daytime as he did in the dream at night.

It was while he was looking for their new home, and feeling increasingly dejected by the lack of affordable and relevant accommodation that he met his old friend Mike Stamford in the park.

He had started to carry his gun with him now, he might excuse it as his need to feel in control in the city that had seen his deepest trauma and vulnerability but deep inside there was a part of him that wondered if his beautiful little girl might not be better off with the kind foster carers she was now living with instead of a broken unbonded omega with no prospects, and if he found a nice quiet little spot where he wouldn't be found by any wandering kids that a quick bullet to the temple might not solve his problems. And then he would see his sister's accusing face in his minds eye and the smile that lit up his sad little girl's eyes when he did visit and he just patted the gun quietly and carried on.

Mike smiled knowingly when John told him about trying to find suitable accommodation and mentioned flat share. John was intrigued, Mike said he had spoken to someone else that morning who had bemoaned the fact that he couldn't find anyone to flat share with.

Mike led him into one of the training rooms in Barts where a tall thin man with a mop of curly hair was working at a computer. Imperiously he had demanded Mike's phone without turning around but Mike had refused. John full of idle curiosity and wanting to hear that deep voice speak again for some unknown reason, had handed over his own, bequeathed from Harry.

John had been fascinated by the changes to the hospital from his day and had ignored what the strange Alpha was doing with his phone when that deep voice that resonated through John's bones asked him "Afghanistan or Iraq?"

As he turned almost reluctantly to face him, he heard the Alpha sniff as he lent over the phone John had given him. John heard the whispered exhalation of "Mine" and he was back in that alley ten years ago, for a long moment he was chilled with horror and stilled by fear.
The Alpha raised his face and his daughter's grey eyes stared into John's blank indigo ones. The cheekbones could still cut paper and that hair was better groomed but there were still those riotous ridiculous curls.

John's frozen brain wondered for a second why he hadn't recognised the voice but then he remembered that night it had been slurred with drugs and passion. The clear cut velvet brushed tones which addressed him now had the same timbre but he wouldn't have recognised him from his voice alone.

The Alpha excitedly took a step towards John, his eyes wide with wonder and a shy smile on those full lips when John, in total and utter silence, drew his gun from his shoulder holster, aimed and shot the man who had raped him ten years before.


Disclaimer: No infringement intended, just using characters to explore an idea.

This was intended to be a one shot but there will be a second part to this.