Disclaimer- Don't own them. Wish I did. Then I wouldn't be poor.
Authors Note- This is the first fanfic I've actually posted. I've written a few other stories but I'm just so critical of everything I do. Everything has to be perfect. Nothing was ever good enough. So, I decided to just take the plunge and throw this out there. If I get a couple of positive reviews I'll continue it.
Okay, I wrote this is because I like the fact that the Doctor and Clarice ran off together at the end of the book. However, I like a lot of the changes they made for the movie as well. So, I decided to blend the two endings, add my own twist, and voila! This is what I came up with:
PAWN
Chapter one
Clarice Starling, suspended agent of the almighty F.B.I., stood at the railing overlooking the ground floor of Union Station. With the cell phone ear piece wedged in her ear she listened to the voice of the man that had replaced the screaming lambs in her dreams. The man that she thought about at least thirty seconds of every day. And above all; The man that never lied to her. This man was telling her now that her precious F.B.I. Didn't love her. Heh. Tell me something I don't know.
"Are you paying attention to me, Ex-Special Agent Starling? Are you, by any chance, trying to trace my whereabouts?" The achingly familiar, and eerily comforting metallic voice resounded through her ear piece.
She had put tracking the Doctor on hold as she observed the two dirty looking thugs that had been following her since she left her house. She had spotted them one floor above her, by the railing, making a feeble attempt at acting casual and blending in. Going unnoticed is going to be a little hard for ya with that smell, guys. Sorry. "I'm being followed, Doctor Lecter."
"Yes, I know. I've seen them."
Clarice picked up the music from the carousel in her ear phone. He's gotta be over there. Through the throngs of people she quickly made her way over to it, intent on getting him back into custody, as he continued to speak into her ear.
"And now you're in a REAL dilemma, aren't you? Do you continue to try and find me, knowing you're leading them to me?"
Clarice slowed her pace briefly at this. The Doctor's words from only minuets earlier came back at her "Mason doesn't want to kill me any more than I want to kill him. He only wants to see me suffer in some unimaginable way." I'll get to Doctor Lecter first. I will…
"Do you honestly believe, Clarice, that you could somehow simultaneously arrest me and them? Things could get VERY messy. Like the fish market." He said as though reading her mind. And she stopped.
Only feet away from the threshold to the high ceilinged, spacious area that held the carousel, she stopped her pace entirely.
"What's the matter, Clarice? You're never going to catch me at that rate."
Clarice turned her back to the bright lights of the carousel and walked slowly back in the direction she came from. "What's the matter? I'm not going to be responsible for you're torture and death, Doctor Lecter. That's what's the matter. I'm not going to be a pawn they can use to draw you out." she spoke with a heated, low voice into the phone
Ahh, but you already are, Clarice. There's nothing you or I can do about that.
The Doctor pondered this current change in events for a moment. He thought for sure she would stop at nothing to apprehend him. His Clarice was full of surprises. "Well now, that's really interesting, Clarice." The Doctor continued after a deep breath " So. Tell me, if you weren't being followed by Masons malodorous little helpers, would you continue the pursuit?""You bet your ass I would." She said, without hesitation.
"And what do you think this chase would lead to? Hmmm, Agent Starling, how would it play out?"
" Well, Doctor Lecter, you would string me along until I finally got the better of you."
The Doctor chuckled "My, we certainly are sure of ourselves, aren't we?"
"This game of yours is whimsy, Doctor, and it's what got you caught the last time." Clarice replied.
"I see. So you'd have me cornered, then proceed to politely ask me to put my hands behind my back so you can cuff me and haul me off to another asylum, where I'll await the death penalty? Have I got it all down, Clarice? Is that how it would happen? Hm?"
No answer.
"Tell me, Clarice, what if I don't cooperate? What if I refuse to put my hands behind my back like a good boy? Could you shoot me?"
Silence on her end.
"I'd really like an answer, Clarice."
"Yes." She said a bit too quickly.
"You're lying, Clarice."
"You're right. I am. " Goddamnit… After a pause "No." she said quietly "No, I couldn't." WHY? WHY COULDN'T I? He's killed so many, and so have I for that matter. What's one more to my list? Why not just take him down and make the world a safer place for rude people, and sub standard flute players everywhere? An unassuming voice in the back of her mind told her it was because of the way she felt about him. She chose to ignore it. She had chosen to ignore it for the past ten years. Clarice considered for a second "Unless, of course, my life depended on it." She added, but quickly realized how stupid it was.
"I think you know better than that, Clarice." He sighed. " So what would you do? We'd be at a bit of a stale mate, don't you think? Actually, I could just turn and walk away. How would you stop me?"
"I couldn't." Clarice choked out; her throat constricting in a effort to suppress these sudden, frustrated tears. notgunnacrynotgunnacrynotgunnacry
"So let's recap, shall we? You don't want me to be tortured and killed by Mason, or anyone for that matter. You couldn't kill me your self. However, you have no problem with returning me to confinement, just so long as I beat the needle? Is that right?"
"Yes." She said; a little stronger now.
"So given the chance you could not deny me my life but you could deny me my freedom. Just that. You'd take that from me?"
YOU MORON
. He spent eight years in a cell no bigger than your bathroom! He'd rather be dead than go back there she chastised herself. A simple "Oh…" escaped her lips."So you see, Clarice, unless of course you do in fact want to stay with me in my cell and hold my hand, returning to imprisonment would be a fate worse than death."
Had Clarice's back not been turned to the Doctor, he would have seen a single tear roll down her cheek as something inside her broke. Maybe it was the dam that held back this truth that she knew all along.
"The question now becomes: Why do you bother chasing me at all?"
"I GUESS I SHOULDN'T" Clarice shouted into the phone before hanging up. In her rage and confusion she ripped the ear piece out and threw it to the floor. She made her way to the exit, blinded by tears she refused to allow to fall. Who was she, if not an agent for the F.B.I. ? And how could she be an agent if she couldn't even do her job? She had gotten too close… too close. Mr. Crawford warned me… "You don't want Hannibal Lecter inside your head." He told me. They were right to suspend me. Even though they only were able to do so through Paul Krendler's lies…
The Doctor watched as she left the building, the Sards close behind her, unsuccessfully scanning the area for him. Once they were a safe distance away, he took to trailing Clarice.
Frustrated, outdoors now, her phone began to ring. "WHAT"
"Why did you hang up, Clarice?"
"BECAUSE I NEED-- I don't know what I need. TIME TO THINK. I don't know what to do anymore." Clarice stopped and stood on the common in front of the station, the saxophone player beginning another song nearby. She took a deep breath and collected herself. Clarice could hear the echo of the music in her phone. " Are you following me?"
"Yes"
"Why? I'm letting you run, Doctor Lecter. You need to get your ass out of here before you're spotted."
A pause. "Such concern for my welfare, Clarice. I'm sincerely touched."
"Well, that's just wonderful." Clarice began walking again "Doctor, I'm hanging up now. I'm sorry if I'm being rude. If you've got a problem with it, feel free to stop by my house later and eat my tongue or whatever."
"Hmmmm. Was that an invitation?"
"GOODBYE"
The dial tone in his ear and Clarice's sudden sarcastic streak amused the Doctor to no end. As per her request, he stopped following her and backed off before calling her again.
*************************
Carlo and Piero casually walked amongst the parked cars and people, searching for the Doctor. Some distance ahead walked Clarice Starling, returning to her car, who they also kept an eye on.
"I don't see him anywhere. I think we lost him." Piero said; his voice heavily accented.
No shit.
Carlo leaned against one of the parked cars and thoughtfully chewed on the boars tooth that hung around his neck "Mason's going to be pissed when we return to him with nothing." He made one last visual scan of the area. No sign of the Dottore. However, his eyes did fall again upon Clarice Starling. The wheels in his head began to turn. "I have an idea." Carlo pulled out his cell phone and called the van.************************
"What is it now?" Clarice snapped.
"You know, Clarice, That really is no way to be answering a phone. Someone might think you have a social disorder."
"Why do you keep calling me?"
"Why do you keep answering the phone?"
"UUUughhhhhh"
"I'm getting the impression that there's something bothering you, Clarice."
"Besides the phone harassment?"
"Ahh. On a somewhat unrelated subject: I've left a gift for you in your car."
"How thoughtful."
"Well, I suppose THIS encounter answers my question."
"What? Which question?"
"Clearly, you manage your rage by venting your frustration through sarcasm."
"Thanks for the analysis , Doctor." Clarice, finally at her car, opened the drivers side door. An open shoe box with a beautiful pair of black Gucci sandals rested on her seat. "Shoes?" For a moment, she forgot how upset she was supposed to be at him and at herself, she forgot her confusion and turmoil, she forgot who they were, and a coy smile formed on her lips. "Are these to replace the second rate pair I'm wearing?"
The Doctor's trademark grin broke out on his face. "I'm not sure they would go with the outfit you've got on at the moment, Clarice, but I do hope you like them anyway."
"I do! I lo-- Aww, shit." This whole situation is fucked up. The most thoughtful, not to mention expensive, gift anyone has ever gotten me and it had to come from the cannibalistic serial killer who seems to be a little obsessed with me. No, my life's not complicated at all. Clarice sighed. "Thank you." She said
The sadness in her tone did not escape the Doctor. He waited.
Clarice stood outside her car; gazing at the sandals that now rested in the box on the roof. She absently stroked the leather with her free hand; holding the phone with the other. "All I wanted to do was help the lambs. I didn't realize I'd have to wade through all this bull shit to do it." She said, finally, in a small voice.
He listened. It was apparent to him now how tired of this life she had become. She had buried it well. But I just dug it up.
Clarice was tired of this constant battle that was her career, and grateful for someone who wanted to be there to listen. Not just polite listening, but actual interest. Like the discussions they had in Baltimore. No one before had ever asked her about her childhood. No one had cared " I feel like I'm two different people. Little ten year old Clarice wants nothing more than to make her Daddy proud and protect the lambs at all costs… because it's the right thing to do."
"That may be the right thing for little ten year old Clarice to do," the Doctor began "or the right thing for her Father to do… But what about the grown woman Clarice? What's the right thing for her to do? What is it that she wants?" Doctor Lecter asked gently.
"Don't you feel eyes moving over your body, Clarice? And don't your eyes seek out the things you want?"
Doctor Lecter's past words rang in her head. "people will say we're in love." Miggs. The towel. The touch of his finger. "I have no plans to call on you, Clarice. The world's more interesting with you in it." The very fact that he was in D.C. now, for her, in her time of need. The danger he's in now for me. What is it that you want, Clarice? And she knew. Right at that moment she knew what she wanted. "I want--" Clarice gasped and let out a strangled cry of pain as she felt two objects pierce her upper back."Clarice?"
Another cry as the electricity from the stun gun flooded her body and incapacitated her. The phone fell from her hand, hitting the pavement. Clarice followed, dropping to her knees, wrapping her arms around herself as if it would ease the white hot searing pain. Tires from the black van screeching to a halt inches from where she knelt.
"CLARICE?"
Another jolt of electricity from Carlo behind her, holding the gun, and she collapsed to her side; lying on the street in a fetal position. She desperately reached out to her cellular on the ground not 4 feet away, as though he could somehow jump out of the phone and help her.
The last thing Doctor Lecter heard on the line was Clarice's voice gasp out his name over the phone in a strangled breath. Whether she used his formal title or his first name is hard for us to say.
But he heard her.
Piero opened the back door of the van while Carlo dragged Clarice to it and pulled her in. Piero getting in behind them and shutting the door as the van sped away. The pain had died away a bit and Clarice, conscious therefore not about to go down without a fight, kicked Carlo square in the stomach. Damn. Missed the balls. Carlo flew back into Piero.
"What's wrong with you? Tie the bitch down!" Piero shouted.
"Shut the fuck up and hold her down!" Carlo gasped once he caught his breath. He straddled her and chained one arm down while Piero held the other . Clarice strained her neck to get as close as she could to his arm and bit him hard enough to draw blood.
Carlo pulled back and hit her repeatedly until she lost consciousness.
************************
Sometime within the fifty three minuets between Starling's abduction and the arrival of the first officer on the scene, if you looked to the parked Mustang with the open drivers side door and the Gucci shoes on the roof, You'd see a man. Very still. Very Quiet.
Come closer.
Upon closer scrutiny we can see that only one sandal still rests on the roof of the car, the other is clutched tightly in Doctor Lecter's hand; his knuckles white from the force he's inflicting upon the innocent shoe. If we looked him in the eye, we would see the extremely rare sight of the Doctor agitated and angry to the point of nearly loosing his control. I don't care if you believe we're beyond harm or not, I'd rather not stick around. I doubt it's safe to be near him when he's like this. For now, we can only learn so much and live.
