We note the year 1969. It was a hot, sticky Friday evening in Washington D.C. J. Edgar Hoover was sitting crying in his brown leathern armchair in his office at the FBI-Headquarters. In the back, his radio was playing, a birthday present of Helen Gandy, his trusty secretary ( watch?v=BTIJYe4kUuw ).

Edgar had no power left. He was 74 years old, but still he worked as long and hard as at the beginning of his career. But his lifework, the FBI, which was responsible for the safety of his beloved mother country, was in danger to be destroyed briefly. Today there was the assumption of office of President Richard Nixon. He commanded Edgar to come to the Oval Office and asked him to supervise reporters. Edgar refused, that would go too far. He wouldn't accept to be utilised by Nixon so that this guy could arrange bad things. Therefore the Bureau wasn't created. But what would be the price for his decision?

Surely he would have to resign from the position of director of the FBI, maybe the Bureau would be disposed and Nixon would create his own force. All his entire work, but also the hard work of Clyde Tolson and Helen would have been for nothing.

A short time ago, his long-time colleague and vice-president Clyde suffered an apoplexia. Due to this, he couldn't work as much as before and he lost his ability of high concentration during work. Edgar has lost one of his pillars of reliability. Fortunately, Helen was always there for him. He trusted her so much, that she was the one who keeps the private and secret files safe. She promised to destroy them if something happened to him or the FBI would fall under the control of Nixon.

He coulnd't prevent another sobbing. He would lose everything that meant something in life for him, or he has it already lost.

The love of his mother – she never showed it to him – now she's already 30 years dead and for him the chance of getting it, irrevocably gone. But the worst was that she never accepted him as he truly has been. He always had to be strong, ambitious, better than everyone else. Mistakes and weaknesses weren't accepted by her. As he told her on the evening after he refused to dance with a woman in the club that he wouldn't like to dance with women, she said the most horrible thing to him:" I rather have a dead son than a daffodil." In this moment he realised that he couldn't make the two people the most important to him – his mother and Clyde - both happy. His mother would never accept his love for Clyde. And his affection for the other man could he never show, it would destroy his and the reputation of the FBI.

The respect and the admiration of the nation – because of some bad news his picture in public was damaged and there was more and more critics on the FBI and its director.

The love for Clyde – which have never should been. Which he could and wanted never to show openly, he had fear that somebody would notice. But she was there all the time, even if not visible for everybody. From the first time they've seen each other, something has existed between them. . ( watch?v=-H2Jr_yp_Yk )

As if it were yesterday, he could see himself sitting with two of his colleagues on a table; they ate dinner together at the Mayflower Hotel. Repeatedly he looked to the bar, where a big, slim, good-looking young man with brown hair with a drink in his hand stood and talked with some other guys from the bureau. Edgar had noticed that the young man also watched and smiled at him. That smile made him a little nervous and quickly he looked onto his plate. He heared the sound of steps coming closer to his table and he looked up. His colleague Laurence came in companion of the young man to him.

Laurence: „Edgar, nice to see you."

Edgar: „Me too, Laurence."

Laurence: „May I introduce to you Mr. Clyde Tolson? He just graduated from George Washington with Law degree."

Edgar: „My congratulations, Mr. Tolson."

Clyde:" Oh thank you, Mr. Hoover. As well as I'm informed, you are one of our most distinguished absolvents."

Edgar:" Yes, I've graduated also... ehm...from George Washington, yes. I'm admiring your suit, Mr. Tolson. You should take a lesson, Laurence."

Clyde:" Thank you very much, Sir. It's a custom-made suit from Garfinkle."

Edgar:" Ah." (takes a sip) "Do you have a card, Mr. Tolson?"

Clyde:" Yes, of course, yes." (gives him his card)

Edgar:" Well, here you are." (Edgar gives him his card) "Nice to meet you, Laurence."

Clyde:" Thank you, Sir."

Back to present, Edgar had to smile. Oh my God, how was he timid during their first conversation. As they looked at each other, he felt a strange feeling in his stomach. He was aroused, he didn't want do observe to demonstratively the attractive man, but he couldn't stop himself from doing it. He was confused, he never felt like that in his life before. Jesus Christ, he was a grown-up man and not a teenager anymore. He wasn't allowed to think about another man this way, it was wrong. But he had to admit that Clyde had caught his full attention. His smile was friendly and charming and he looked irresistibly attractive in his suit. No matter what it would take, he has to see Clyde again. Soon he received the opportunity for a meeting.