The message in a bottle

I do not own Gakuen Alice nor its characters... (TOO BAD T.T)

Please enjoy :D

This isn't edited, so please tell me if there are some grammar mistakes or the likes :D


"First love never dies" _a general saying :D


December 10, 20xx
Hey Polka,

How are you? It's been a month since…THAT happened. I still can't say or write THAT. I just can't accept it. You're gone. I still feel like shit. Just like when hell freezes over.

Why the hell did you do that? Now, here I am, all alone. I might sound cheesy, but damn, I don't care. I miss you. With you gone, I can't go on. You were the first girl who was able to make me smile. But then, what did you do? You left me just when I thought everything will be perfect.

At night, I would always remember your irritating voice. The way you reacted when I tease you about your underwear. Come to think of it, has your taste changed? I also dreamed of you. Of how we should have been together in our wedding day. About us having our own house and our own children. Then, I would jolt awake, feeling my tears falling silently on my cheeks.

Call me a crybaby, I don't care. You came into my world with a big impact and you also left it with a big impact. You're the reason I'm feeling like this. So don't laugh your head out if you'll read this letter one day.

Up until now, I couldn't possibly believe about how stupid the situation was when we met for the first time. To think that you are the best friend of Aoi I hear every day. The same girl who 'has the best smile ever' as Aoi describe you to me.

But because Aoi is your best friend, I was able to meet you. I was able to know someone who can make my life complete. Someone that can argue with me. Someone that can give advices about living my life to the fullest.

Before THAT happened, you told me that if the time comes and THAT actually happened, I should let myself be freaking happy once more. But I can't imagine doing that.

If that would even happen to me, it would take years. I love you too much, Mikan. No one will replace you in this stupid heart of mine that loves such an idiot like you.

I know that you're always by my side even if I can't see you anymore. You'll be there when the time comes that I need you.

I hope you're happy wherever you are. I'll try my best to do my promises to you. I'll wait for us to be together again.

Just like I said before you left me, I love you Mikan Sakura. I will love you until the end.

Forever yours,
Natsume H.


I can't believe I'll still see this letter I made three years ago. Here it is, on the shore of the beach in Hawaii where mother, father and Aoi decided to have our vacation this year.

Ahh… you're wondering what the hell was that letter about? Since I'm in a good mood today, I might as well tell you. I'm freaking bored in my life.

I met her four years ago where my sister, Aoi, was confined. You're more stupid than Polka if you still didn't know. It's in a hospital for all the slow people out there.

It was just a normal school day, and when I came out of the university, I directly came to the hospital where Aoi is being confined for two weeks due to a car accident. She's still in the hospital, since the doctors aren't finished with the different tests they need to run.

I walked silently in the corridors of the hospital, looking for the room of Aoi when a girl bumped into me. It made us to fall on the hard floor, with me under the said girl.

I was about to push her on the floor to get up myself when I noticed what she was wearing. She was wearing the hospital gown patients wear in their duration inside the hospital. She even has an IV attached in her wrist. She has a brunette hair that reaches up to her waist. Her hazel eyes spells out the word 'innocent'.

'Damn, she's pretty.'

It made me think for a while, and decided to talk to her first before pushing her away.

"Hey Polka, get off, unless you want to stare at me all day long."

I can see her confusion at the 'name' I gave her. Being a 'gentleman' that I am, I purposely look at her chest, giving her hint to what I meant.

"Darn it, YOU PERVERT! YOU SHOULD HAVE AT LEAST CLOSED YOUR EYES! BUT NO, YOU JUST LOOK AT 'IT' TWICE!"

She stood up, and just when I thought she would just go and run away, I was bloody wrong. She went nearer to me and kicked the place where it hurts the most for guys.

"SHIT! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!"

"THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR BEING A PERVERT! I hope not to see you again!" She exclaimed and got the IV pole. She walked faster than normal towards a room that I've guessed as her own.

Hell, her voice is damn irritating. She made me deaf with all the screaming she did a while back. I was curled in a small ball, waiting for the damn pain to disappear. It's good that there were no people around when the incident happened.

When the pain was bearable enough, I stood slowly and sat down on a bench. I'm going to torture that Polka that moment I see her once more.

I decided to look for Aoi's room a few minutes later. I opened the door, yet she didn't notice me. Suddenly, I heard the annoying voice 'again'.

"—hate the guy, Aoi-chan! He peeked and saw my bra!"

"It's your fault for bumping and falling at me, Polka." I cut in their conversation with a smirk.

"Ahh! It's the pervert! What are you doing here? Are you planning on doing something to me? Get out, Get OUT!" Polka screamed at me, which just irritated me more than ever.

"Will you just shut up? Why would I do 'something' to a girl who wears polka-dotted bra? What are you, a 5-year old girl? No thanks, I would prefer to do 'something' to a 'lady'."

"Dammit! I'm 20! Stop insulting me! Besides, you should get OUT!"

I can see clearly that any minute now, I would see steam coming out of her ears. It made me smirk inwardly, pleased at myself that I was able to get the reactions I wanted.

"Calm down Mikan-chan. Please meet Natsume-nii, my older brother." As Aoi said that, Polka eventually dropped her jaw and her eyes bulged out of their sockets. Nice.

"No way! That perverted idiot is your brother?! Except for the physical appearance, you're not alike! You're sweet and kind, but this… this idiot is a pervert!"

That's our relationship for the past weeks we met. We would argue until I needed to go. But one day, Aoi cornered me when Polka isn't around.

"Ne, Natsume-nii, do you like Mikan-chan?"

"Wha-? Where did that come from?"

"This is the first time I saw you arguing and talking to a girl that much."

"I'm just merely interested in her, seeing she's not the same with girls I've dated."

Little did I know that I would be swallowing what I told Aoi that day.


It happened three days after Aoi was discharged from the hospital. She begged me to drive her to the hospital thrice a week to see Polka. I didn't bother asking why she was in the hospital, thinking it's not my business.

I told Aoi to go in first, since I need to buy some snacks for myself. I was finished buying so I went out of the small cafeteria and walked towards the direction of Polka's room. But then, I heard distant voices, and I heard Polka's irritating voice.

I silently made my way towards the voices and it led me to the restrooms, where Polka bumped into me the first time we met. I hid in the corner so that they couldn't see me, but I would still be able to hear their conversation.

"Come on girl, this will be fun. I promise you, I won't hurt you." Damn, what the hell does that should mean? Don't tell me…

"I won't! I won't! Who do you think you are? I'm not that stupid not to know your intentions! I know you want to take me to your bed!"

Heh… this boy sure have guts to do that to Polka. I'll have to teach boy a lesson not touch Polka without my permission.

What? Without my permission? Hey, hey… Don't tell me that I…?

I looked at their place. I noticed that there were three boys surrounding Polka, with the two holding Polka's arms . While the other one, I presume their leader, have his face inches away from Polka.

Dammit! I have to do something!

Quickly, yet quietly, I was behind the other two and rendered them unconscious. I pushed their leader away from Polka. I saw him gasped when he saw his 'minions' on the floor unconscious. I glared at him and said,

"What do you think are you doing, hitting on my girlfriend like that? I need to teach you a lesson or two."

I felt Polka go stiff when I mentioned the word 'girlfriend'. Just to tease her more, since I know she won't be able to shout at me, my arms found their place at Polka's waist. I hugged her from behind and let my head rest in her shoulder. A point for yourself, Natsume.

With wide eyes that certainly contain fear, the boy answered,

"Please forgive me! I didn't know she was your girlfriend! Please spare me and my friends! We'll leave now!"

He carried his two 'friends' and ran away from where we are. When they were gone from our sight, I released Polka from my embrace. Even though it suddenly went cold, I ignored the feeling. Instead, I teased Polka.

"You should be grateful that I embraced you, baka."

She was quiet for a minute…

"Hey, Polka… what's wrong?"

"Natsume… Thank you."

After she said that, she suddenly collapsed in front of me, and I caught her with my arms.

"Polka! Polka! Wake up! Damn it! Mikan… Oi Mikan!"

When she didn't respond, I called for the nearest doctor. Nurses came and they brought Polka at the operating room. I called Aoi and told her what happened. When she came, I immediately asked her what was Polka's illness about why she was still in the hospital.

"She… she has a brain tumor. It's… it's a malignant tumor, the cancerous one." She started to cry, and I patted her head, since I can't do anything else to comfort her.

"Polka wouldn't want to see you crying, Aoi. Stop it."

What Aoi told me shocked me of course. Just when I noticed that I… I can't bare the fact that Polka is with someone else will be the time that I will learn that she has a tendency to… die; I don't know what will I do with this stupid feeling I felt for Polka.

The time I spent with her has actually made her a special place in my life. I'm an idiot not to notice that.

The doors of the operating room opened, and the surgeon asked us if we are the relatives.

"I'm… I'm her fiancée. Tell me her condition."

I don't freaking care if I lied about that part. It actually made me feel complete.

"If that's the case, I think the wedding will be canceled."

"Wha-? What the hell are you talking about?!"

"It's too late to save her. She only has five months to spend. She'll be discharged when she wakes up, and… you can wait for fate to do its way."

No way…

It can't be true…

Polka…

is going to…

die?

"I want to see her" I said absently, as emotions were removed from my face.

"We will bring her back to her room shortly. Please wait."


After Aoi cried and hugged Polka, I called Ruka and asked him to fetch Aoi and bring her home. I intend to stay at Polka's room, and be the first person Polka would see.

Using my hand, I touched Polka's cheek softly, reaching down her lips. With my other hand softly holding hers. Even though she was pale, she's still beautiful.

Yeah, I love her.

I only realize my stupid feelings for her at the wrong time, when she would leave me.

"I love you, Mikan." I whispered to her. I know that I won't be able to get a response from her. But I just want to tell her how I feel towards her.

"And here I was, thinking that it was a one-sided love. I'm glad Natsume, that you called me by my name."

Who won't be surprised if you found yourself in my situation? I was about to pull my hands away when what she told me hit me like I just had an accident with a truck.

"Polka, you mean…"

"I also love you, Natsume. Even though you're a pervert, you're kind. I heard stories from Aoi… how you would save her when she's in danger. How you let yourself be hurt instead of the people you treasure. Just like you did a while ago. Aoi knows I like you, and when she told me that she has a hunch that you also like me… I… I didn't really hope we would be together because of my… condition. I—"

I stopped her from talking by kissing her gently. At first she didn't respond, but in the end, the gentle kiss turned into something more. It was hot and passionate. We were breathing hard after we finished. Our foreheads were touching as I said to her,

"The moment you're released, go out with me."

She just smiled at me and kissed me for a while before she pulled away and whispered, "With pleasure."

For the first time, I smiled at a girl.

But once more, I found myself wanting more of her touch. Hell, I sound like a pervert, but I don't care.

I love her, and that's it.


The day after she was discharged, I asked her out. We spent the day getting to know more about each other. I stopped going to school, and it's a good thing that my parents understood my decision and let me do it.

"Where are your parents? I haven't seen them in the hospital."

"About that… Uhm… they're gone. They're dead. That was actually the real reason about why I didn't fight nor had the surgery earlier. I want to die Natsume. But then, you came to my life… when it was too late to change my fate." I heard her replied quietly and I heard a quiet sob. I turned my head and wiped the tears off from her face.

"You look 80 times uglier when you cry, idiot." I smiled at her and hugged her tightly, never letting go until the time comes that I need to.


We spent her remaining months with every activity I can think of. Watching movies, eating in a restaurant, coming to a festival, going to an amusement park, having a picnic in a park. I even introduced her to my friends. I'm thankful that they welcomed her warmly.

But then, since she's sick, one month before the end, she was bedridden. Her body is too weak to move around. She lives with Hotaru Imai, her best friend. I know she cares a lot for Polka.

When Polka was discharged, she asked me to call Hotaru Imai. It shows that Polka didn't tell anyone she was sick. Damn her.

The minute Imai knew of the situation, she flew to Tokyo, and we decided that Polka would be living with her.

Since she can't get out of her room, I would visit her everyday and would even sleep there almost every day. We would watch movies in the living room, or I would bring her a strawberry shortcake, our favorite dessert.

Once, while both of us are lying on her bed, with me stroking her hair gently waiting for her to fall asleep; she said something I didn't expect.

"Ne, Natsume. Live life to the fullest for me, 'kay? And when I'm gone, don't be alone forever, 'kay? Find someone who will make you happy just as how you make me happy."

"Shut up, Mikan. No one will ever replace your place."

"Come one, Natsume. Please? Do it for me. I'm happy when you're happy. Promise me you won't kill every girl who would introduce themselves to you."

Sighing, I couldn't say no to Mikan.

"Fine. I promise. But it doesn't mean that I won't give them a hard time."

"Mou, Natsume, you're really mean!" I looked at her, pouting. Suddenly, she had this soft look in her eyes.

"Natsume, please tell me you love me one more time."

"I love you, Mikan Sakura. I will love you until the end."

She smiled at me softly that made her look so damn tempting even though she's weak.

And blame my hormones for it.

I kissed her passionately until she fell asleep I hugged her tightly remembering how she feels against my skin. I felt the need to do it.

I just do.

And my instincts…

were right.

.

.

.

.

.

.

That was the last time I saw her breath in air.

.

.

.

.

.

She's gone for good.

Mikan…


For the funeral, it was decided that expenses would be shouldered by the Imai family and our family.

Imai contacted the close friends of Mikan. Her parents were her only family, and we didn't know of any relative of hers.

When her friends came, they cried a waterfall. Imai introduced me as Mikan's boyfriend to them. They shared everything they know about Mikan. They too, didn't know about Mikan's condition, so when Imai called them, they freaked out.

But I just silently listened to them. I can't trust myself to speak without hurting someone with my words.

I need a place that's quiet… A place where I can think of Mikan.

Slowly, I excused myself and went to the nearest park . I climbed up the Sakura tree so that no one will see me.

.

.

.

.

.

Why is life so unfair?

Why did it have to be Mikan, who's so innocent?

Why not me, who made big mistakes in the past?

Why did I have to meet her and fall in love with her when she was near to her death?

Why didn't I meet her earlier when it was not too late?

I punched the trunk of the Sakura tree hard. I didn't care that my hand was bleeding. I just cried silently, since I know that no one will answer me.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

She's really gone, and I can't change it even if I wanted to.

"Natsume… you should stop making other people worried about you." I wiped my tears and looked at who found me.

"Oh, it's you Ruka." I went down as he motioned me to.

Ruka Nogi. He's my best friend, yet we are the total opposite of each other. I have messy, raven-hair, while his is plain clean and blond. My eyes are crimson and his are cerulean. I'm a bad boy, yet he's a gentleman.

"Natsume, I know it hurts, and you don't want to tell about others what you feel… so, I just thought of an idea that might help you."

"And that is…?"

"Try writing everything you want to say in a letter. You don't have to put your real names; it's all up to you. Then, roll it and place it in a bottle, seal it slightly with a cork. Throw it in the sea. It might help. I did it once, and I felt better."

"I'll think about it… Thanks Ruka."

"That's what best friends are for. Come on, we need to do something about that wound."

"Hn."


At her burial, many cried and I was one of them… I didn't leave the place until sundown, when my father forced me to come home.

At my room, I just stared at the photo of Mikan and me during one of our dates. The way she can make me smile by just merely looking at her smiling face.

Damn it Mikan, I miss you


A month has passed by since she died. Almost everything changed back to its normal place except for me. So I tried to do what Ruka suggested last time.

As I write, I let my emotions take control.

As I write, I can feel that she's just around the corner, waiting for me to wake up.

As I write, I realize that I've been killing myself slowly, and that I'm breaking my promise.

As I write, I can feel the heartache lessen.

As I write, I decided it was time to live my life to the fullest, as I've promised Mikan.


Since I was in college when I met Mikan, I stopped my course I was taking that time. Instead, I decided to be a neurosurgeon, a specialist in the brain and nervous system.

I don't care if it would take years before I graduate.

I want to help others.

Crap, Mikan really changed my way of thinking.


Can you now understand what the letter is all about? I hope you do because I just wasted my time if you didn't.

I read the letter once more before putting it back inside the bottle.

I threw it as hard as I can, but after doing so,

I saw someone watching my every move from afar.

~End of One shot~


A/N: Just to clarify some things : They are 20 and above in this story... Sorry if I didn't really describe the scene or what they were wearing, simply because Natsume is just telling the story from memory, so he won't be able to describe all the details :D

- others are left as it is for the sequel, if there will be one xD

-As for the part when Mikan was in the operating room, the doctors tried to remove the tumor, but as they said, it was too late.

-If you think it's too fast, well, there are true stories that they fall in love in days, right? So I think the flow of this story is fine :D

- Natsume is a sort-of bad boy in here. Not that bad that uses drugs or something... It'll be my secret as to why he's a bad boy... until the sequel [if there is]

It's done! :D I will really appreciate it if you'll read and review it, you know? Since it's my first time to make a one shot...

And it was a cliff hanger! ahaha!~

Sorry if Natsume and Mikan are OOC :( And that the other characters are just like a background... I just want to focus on Mikan and Natsume ^^"

A sequel? It's all up to you! I would base it from the reviews that I will get... And I hope it will be many though... more than 100? just kidding! xD I know my story isn't that good to receive much reviews... but well, I'm HOPING. :D

If ever there will be a sequel, I'm gonna say who was that someone watching him :D

Thank you for reading this story of mine and hope you enjoyed it! :D

Have a great day, minna!