I'm only saying this once so I won't have to do this again (it's annoys me to no end). I don't own Hey Arnold nor shall I ever will.
Hey Arnold Quote of the Chapter:
Grandpa: Well Arnold, we will have to sell the boarding house, me and grandma will have to go to an old folks home, and you will be an orphan living in some state like Manitoba. Wait, that's a provinence! OH NO ARNOLD! YOU WILL BE A CANADIAN!
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Chapter 1 - Arnold's Had Enough
"Greetings and salutations Helga. How are you doing on this splendid morning? Doing well I hope?" Phoebe says, sitting next to her best friend on the bus.
Helga's scowl doesn't waver, "Just fine Phoebe. Everything is just peachy!" she says sarcastically, not even bothering to lift her gaze from the window.
Phoebe frowns, "You seem agitated and disquieted. Pray tell, what is your distress?"
Helga points her thumb back behind them. "That's what."
Behind them a few seats was Arnold and Gerald. Arnold was busy talking to a young redhead seated across from them.
"Arnold, I think it's ever so sweet of you to invite me to that new movie, but it sounds too much like a… well… a date or something."
"But we'll have friends there! Gerald is going-"
"And he is going with Phoebe. Please Arnold, I like you, I really do, but just not that way." She gets up and moves to a different seat, leaving a confused Arnold behind.
Phoebe looks back at Helga, frowning. "I see…"
"Yup, football face is still after little miss perfect." She restrains the urge to punch a hole through the seat in front of them. "Criminey! When is he gonna get a clue and get over her?!"
Phoebe shrugs at the question. "When he finds another object of affection to pine after, I suppose."
Helga shoots a look that said 'yeah right' at Phoebe, who just shrugs again. Helga then grins, "So when we're you gonna tell me about your little date with Gerald?" Phoebe's cheeks turn slightly pink, making her best friend's grin widen even more. "So? When did he ask you? Tell me the details."
"Well, technically it's not a date. It was Arnold who extended the invitation. Gerald just happens to be going as well."
Helga smirks, "Yeah whatever. I bet Arnoldo did that to finally get you guys together." She looks back out the window and frowns, "And to change Lila's mind."
~~~~~
Arnold watches Lila as she moved to a new seat and shakes his head. "I don't get it Gerald. She said that I had a chance at the cheese festival. Yet she doesn't want to do anything with me."
Gerald rolls his eyes. "That because you act too desperate man, you're too forward. And that's with all girls you like." A grins widely. "You need to take some 'love lessons' from the love master my man. I'll be happy to teach you some pickup lines."
Arnold grins back at him, "Yeah, sure, 'love lessons', that's exactly what I need, another way to look stupid in front of girls. I just want a girl that likes me back. And anyway, who was it that asked Phoebe to go to the movie for you?"
"Hey! It's my way of being smooth, and it just happens to be through you."
Arnold rolls his eyes. "Whatever you say Gerald. Whatever you say."
~~~~~
"Settle down class! Settle down!" Mr. Simmons calls above the roar of the 4th grade class, grabbing everyone's attention. Helga just glances up at him briefly before looking back down at her notebook, which she was ripping potential spitballs out of.
"Class I have good news today! Though I know that our last book assigned was a little… well…"
"Facetious?" finishes Phoebe.
"No way! It was too boring!" says Herald, then starts wondering what 'facetious' means.
"Stupid is more like it." Helga says, rolling her eyes. Everyone to nodded and agreed with her.
Mr. Simmons grimaces. "Well yes, I suppose out last book was a little tedious, though I am sure you will find our next book engaging!"
"What is it Mr. Simmons?" asks Gerald.
"Has anyone heard of Robert Louis Stevenson?" The silence told him that they didn't. "Robert Louis Stevenson was a author in the 1880s that wrote short stories for magazines. Today we're going to start his most famous piece." He holds up a book, a man with a top hat and a man with an evil look on the cover. "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde."
The class murmurs their opinion to each other.
Mr. Simmons smiles. "And you'll be happy to know that it only has ten chapters."
The 4th graders starts yelling and clapping at that news, happy it isn't a gazillion page book. He passes the books out, signaling the start of the school day.
~~~~~
"I'm looking forward to reading this particular novel. It seems engaging."
"Yeah well, I just hope it doesn't put me to sleep." She shoves someone as she walks by him, "Watch it Hairboy! I'm walkin' here!"
Arnold frowns as Helga shoots a sneer at him before she turns around in the lunch line.
Phoebe frowns, then shakes her head. She knew better than anyone that with Helga, leave the subject of picking on Arnold alone. She continues on with their conversation, "I assure you that it won't make you drowsy Helga. From the impression of others, it's truly a seriously commendable parable."
"Yeah, I guess so Pheebs." They sit down at one of the big tables in the cafeteria, joining most of the 4th graders. "Who knows, maybe it'll be a good book."
"Ya fellers talkin' bout that Jekyll and Hyde book?" asks Stinky.
"I bet it's stupid!" says Herald.
"I think this is smacked." comments Sid.
"Its whacked Sid, whacked." corrects Gerald, sitting down at the table, Arnold does likewise next to him.
Helga rolls her eyes and takes the bendy straw that was in her milk from her mouth. "That's only because you guys can't read."
"It doesn't seem very cheerful. Does it have blood?" asks Sheena, who faints at the sight or mention of blood.
"I saw it in a musical Sheena, don't worry, there's no blood." comforts Eugene.
"You saw Dr. Jycklle Mr. Hyde as a musical? Was it like that other one you went to? Dogs?" laughs Helga, trying not to squirt milk out her nose.
"Hey! Dogs was good!"
"Either way I'm not readin' it! I bet it sucks!"
"Only because you suck Herald. Second only to the football face." Helga snickers, seeing a dark look cross his face.
"What's with you Helga? Why do you always have ta pick on my main man?" asks Gerald.
"Aw, what's the matter Geraldo? Did I say something to upset you?" she laugh grows. "You should really let Arnold fight his own battles. Maybe he would be a little less pathetic!" The words flew out of her mouth before she knew what she was saying, but it was too late. The damage was done.
Arnold gets up from the table and leaves without saying a word. Almost stomping instead of walking. Gerald quickly gets up and follows him, but not without casting a look at Helga.
"Gees Helga, that shur was mean of ya." Says Stinky.
"Its none of your beeswax Stinky." She gets up from the table and dumps her tray. She didn't feel hungry anymore. She storms out of the cafeteria and into her safe-house, the bathroom.
Only there did she nearly cursed herself for what she did.
~~~~~
"What's her problem anyway?! Why does she always have to pick on me?! What's so fascinating about me to make her pick on me, out of the entire 4th grade?!" Arnold storms. He had made his way to his locker and was trying to open it, but his anger was making his hands shake too much to get the combination to the lock right.
Gerald frowns at his best friend, concerned, "I don't know Arnold, and I don't know why you put up with her either. I mean, how many spitballs did she already spit at you today?"
"At least thirty, and all before lunch."
Gerald shakes his head, "I know you always say you try to ignore her so she'll stop Arnold, but she's done this since preschool. I don't think she's gonna stop unless you do something."
"Like what? Fight her? You know I don't fight Gerald. Especially girls."
Gerald rolls his eyes, "One, it's to prove a point. Two, this is Helga we're talkin' about, she ain't a girl. She's the most unladylike girl I have ever met. She even scares Wolfgang. Three, and most important, she's not gonna stop unless you do fight her."
Arnold shakes his head. "No. I'm not going to fight her. As much as she wants to deny it, she's still a friend of ours."
"So what's plan B?"
Arnold finally opens his locker. "I'm going to talk to her after school. Hopefully she'll listen to me."
Gerald chuckles, "Sure Arnold. Just one question?"
"What?"
"What do you want on your tombstone? Cuz your a dead man."
~~~~~
RRRRRRIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGG!!!!!!
"Okay class! Remember your reading assignments tonight! You're dismissed!" says Mr. Simmons over the roar of kids. But the 4th grader were already heading out the door, talking to one another.
"Criminey! I thought this day would never end Pheebs."
Phoebe nods as they make their way to the bus stop. "Yes, I too, am not particularly fond of Mondays."
"I just want to relax before heading to the Gerald's Field, maybe write a few poems."
Phoebe looks over at Helga as they sit down on the bus stop bench. "I would assume you would not want to be in the vicinity of… Ice Cream… today. Considering the incident that occurred during lunch."
Helga winces, then shrugs her shoulders. "I forgot until now. Well I'll avoid him until then. Why bring up the past huh? I bet ol' football face has already forgotten it by now."
"Hey Helga."
She jumps at Arnold's voice, then scowls at him and Gerald. "What do you want Arnoldo?"
"I need to talk to you." he looks over at Phoebe, "Could you please leave Phoebe? No offense, I just need to talk to her alone."
"It's quite all right Arnold, I take no offense. I'll talk to you on the bus Helga."
Gerald and Arnold exchange their secret handshake. "I'll save your seat man."
"I won't be long."
Phoebe and Gerald walk to the other side of the group of people waiting for the bus, starting a conversation of their own.
"So what is it paste-for-brains, your taking up my busy schedule here." Growls Helga.
Arnold frowns at the name, "I want you to stop it."
"Stop what Arnoldo?" she asks nonchalantly.
"That. The name calling, the spitballs, just the constant picking on me. I want you to stop it."
She stands up and looks him in the eye. "And why should I, Arnold?" and evil grin spreads on her face. "You'll do what? Tell on me? Or the usual? Wait patiently for me to stop on my own free will."
Arnold's anger started boiling again. He was struggling to keep it under control. But he couldn't help thinking that even after just a few minutes of talking with Helga, his mild manner was almost out the window. "I don't get you Helga. Why are you always picking on me? What makes me special?"
Helga looks him in the eye, "Because you're you. You always insist on helping everyone with their problems. Because you're so freakin' kind and caring and nice. Because. You're. You!" And that was the most honest thing she had ever said to him, ever since on top of the FTi tower anyway.
All right. That's it. Arnold's had enough. "You know what Helga?! I don't care anymore! No matter what I do to even attempt being nice to you you'll always hate me! And you know what Helga?!" His glare burned into hers for what seemed to be an eternity. "I hate you too!" He couldn't believe he had just said that, but he knew it was true.
Helga feet stepped away from him, it felt like he just threw a thousand daggers at her heart. "What did you say?!"
"You heard me Helga Pataki! I hate you!"
Helga stared at him for a long moment then turned around and started walking. She couldn't bear his sight anymore. She had to get away from him. A tear streamed down her cheek as her steps gradually increased from a walk into a run.
Arnold silently watched as Helga walked away from the bus stop, still fuming from his bottled up anger. He was glad he had gotten that out to her. Now maybe she would leave him alone. Though he couldn't help but feel a pang of regret in his stomach for her.
He looks around and realizes he's alone. "I missed the bus!"
