Would You Regret Your Choice...?

Morning dawned and the sun peered through the cracks of the curtains. Christian groaned,Morning meant he'd have to wake up from his perfect dream world of unity with Syed and face reality all over again.

He grabbed his alarm clock and squinted at the time, his alarm clock bleeped in his hands.. 7:15, time to get up and get ready. He sighed, momentarily turning over over and glancing at the empty space beside him, he sighed at the emptiness before him and pictured syed there. Tears pricked at his eyes as the realisation kicked in, that would never happen again. Their special times where over.

He stifled out of bed reluctantly and dragged his way over to the shower, there he stood, not even bothering to adjust the temperature properly, the icier the water was against his skin, the better. It wasn't like anyone could ever warm it again, the one person who could was no longer in his presence. After about 20 minutes of carelessly showering he jumped out of it and headed to work.

At the unit, work passed as slowly as it could, every second that ticked by on the clock above his head seemed to feel like hours. The pain was unbearable, The smell of his ex lovers aftershave and his general fragrance clung to the air of their workplace. It was as though the room was taunting him. Christian couldn't breathe anymore, he had to get out of there as soon as.

He kicked the front door with his foot with such anger that it left an impression of the front of his shoe on it. He didn't care, he couldn't care, not for anything anymore. He unexpectedly ran into zeinab who was running late due to a hospital appointment. As soon as she realised it was him she ran into, she hurried her pace as though he was infected with AIDS, he was pretty sure he heard her mumble the word filth into his ear as she passed. Christian ignored her, she was also the cause of his pain.

Christian had actually tried to get over Syed by going to clubs and trying to pick up men, different men, every night since Syed started living this Lie, this, This, farce. He found however that nobody could ever fill the void syed emptied the day he married amira. The one he knew only Sy could fill. For the first few weeks he just kept finding faults with the men he saw in the clubs he went to. Too fair haired, wrong eye colour, too short, too tall, Weird accent. His penis wanted to go out and get men into bed but his mind couldn't. The memories flooded back to him whenever he had a spare moment, It niggled at him that with or without Syed, he had to move on, He just couldn't, he would never ever move on from sy, the one thing he gave his all to. Never, Ever. Even if it pained him to watch him live across the square and not being able to touch him, he wouldn't start living again, because, you see syed had become his life. Without him by his side, he was as good as dead.