Summary: The Slayerettes start talking about boys in a way my Girlfriend assures me never happens outside of 80's teen/bikini flicks.

Rating: Mature, just for the connotations

Characters: Most of the girls

Disclaimer: I say sorry to Joss in Advance for what I have done.


Faith, Buffy, Kennedy, Vi, Rona and Shannon stagger into the campsite.

Dawn: Welcome back guys, nice hike?

Vi: I can't believe Wood made us hike for 2 hours,

Rona: With backpacks

Buffy: and battle axes

Shannon: I wish I was back in the hospital, being stabbed hurt less than this

All 6 of them drop to the ground as Dawn brought them water

Dawn: So where is Principal Wood?

Faith: He is taking the rest of the girls for a tai chi session

Buffy: I can't believe he can still move, he doesn't even have slayer strength

Fatih: What can I say be, the Boy has stamina

Rona: and a few other essentials

The slayerettes all burst into giggles

Vi: Damn Faith, you get all the hotties, Wood, Xander-

Rona: Wo there, Xander?

Shannon sat bolt upright

Shannon: No way!

Faith: What can I say, want, take,

Rona: I wouldn't mind taking Xander, thats for sure!

Shannon: I wouldn't mind Xander taking me.

More gigles from the slayerettes

Shannon: How the hell did you do that anyway Faith? Xander doesn't seem the bad girl type.

Dawn: Oh you SO DO not know him, Faith is one of only 3 of Xander's exes who was not a Demon

Faith: Anyway, this was back when he was in High school and you know, teenage boys

Buffy: Hey enough talk about Xander, he isn't here to defend himself.

Kennedy: Come on Buffy, Xander is the only piece of available beef-cake these girls have seen for ages, besides, if he IS now off in Africa I don't see how it can hurt.

Vi: You know Buffy, I was meaning to ask, how come you never hit on Xander?

BUffy: Well-

Dawn: Oh she has, but only under the influence of Magic

Buffy: Hey, personal much!

Faith: Yeah B, How come you never tried it with the Xan man?

Buffy: Come on this is Xander, you know-

Rona: Tall, good looking guy?

Vi: Muscles, great Arse

Dawn: Face it Sis, apart from Kennedy here, you are the only slayer never to fantasise about him.

Faith:Yeah, Maybe that's his secret power, Slayer aphrodesiac!

More giggles from the slayerettes.

Buffy:Thats not true! Not every slayer thinks Xander's hot, What about Chao Ahn?

Vi: She may not speak English, but everytime he was in the Gym, Shirt off, she was there!

Buffy: Amanda! Amanda didn't like him, she liked Andrew!

Rona: Yeah, but she still thought Xander was edible!

Buffy; Kendra?

Dawn: Did you ever notice her loosing the ability to speak when he was in the room?

Kennedy: Admit it Buffy, you're alone on this, if I was straight I'd jump him,

Dawn: Hey, I am practically part you and I liked him WAY before any of these guys turned up Maybe I got the Xander liking part of you?

The Slayerettes and Faith all pause to contemplate this possibility.

Buffy: Enough! Enough! This is Xander, he is like A Brother too me, my best friend not some sex toy

Vi:Pity

Buffy:Hey I heard that, you can't just go and objectify him like a piece of meat! I've had enough of this

Buffy stormed out of the campsite in search of something to kill.

Dawn: Typical Buffy, storming out when she can't face her true feelings.

Kennedy: Don't Worry Dawn, If she doesn't figure it out, it means there is more of Xander for you when he gets back.

Dawn: True, but if there is one thing worse than an Angry Buffy...

Faith: it's a jelous Buffy, and I am not sure you would wanna see that.