Summer's End (or how Rin Tosaka remembers the dead)
The flickering candles were her only companions on this austere night. There was no other source of light between the four corners of her room; save the moonlight peering shyly through the Western windows. She did not mind the cold at all. In fact, she was so caught up in what she was doing; she became oblivious to everything else.
Be it the hoots of the owls, crying out to the moon for mercy.
Be it the shouts of the townspeople, marching along the Royal Mile, dressed up as jesters and kings.
Be it the screaming bonfires of Calton Hill, blazing through the dark skies, burning with fury.
Letters of invitations to the feast tonight were left unopened; untouched by her bedside. As a member of the Scottish Mage's Association, it would all be too rude for her not to attend the annual event, but selfishness tugged her heart and thought it would be best for her to have her own feast.
Her own ritual.
For the one departed soul, that had stolen half of hers.
It was said that tonight, the soils of the Earth and the skies of Heaven were nearest to each other; the worlds of the dead and the living were most likely to collide. Years ago, back in Fuyuki City, she would have done this solely for the memories of her father – to guide him to the lands of eternal summer – where he would not have to suffer the harsh droughts of winter.
She knew best that she should leave the dead in peace; she knew that and she had accepted it when she lost her father. So why was all this selfishness consuming her now? The thirst, the hunger, the need – she tried to think of all the possible excuses, but it all led to her one and only reason:–
Her own insatiable, primitive desire.
She had missed her father so, yes. But never like this.
It had never driven her to the point of near-insanity, for the other magi would shake their heads in shame if they knew what she was about to do. It was even taboo to even think of it – it was condemned to be a malicious act towards souls who were meant to be free.
Yet her intent was resolute, because the soul she was about to call was of no ordinary folk. No man was quite like him, and she suspected that no one would ever be. Because of that, he deserved this 'special' treatment. She would call upon his soul and reprimand him for making her suffer. She acknowledged the cruelty of the act, but she was considering this as revenge for leaving her.
No.
Revenge for leaving and taking away a part of her with him.
It was only fair for her to punish him this way, that insufferable prick.
Rin smiled.
Rin shivered.
It was only when she was placing the sacrificial delicacies on the altar did she realize how her thin fingers were trembling, how her chapped lips were shaking. The apples and pomegranates had never seemed so delicious than they really were in the dimmed light, the sun-kissed autumn fruits ripe and full.
Rin tore a piece of paper from her desk determinedly, ready to spill the secrets of her true desires -- of the one thing she yearned to be free without. Yet, as she placed the tip of the fountain pen on the parchment, indecisiveness and uncertainty washed over her – of whether or not what she felt was truly what she wanted. Several moments of quick thoughts and grimaced expressions later, Rin finally scribbled down what she wished to get rid of.
And she never thought her conscience would be any clearer than this.
Casting the Circle of Stones, Rin delicately lifted a pomegranate from the altar and pierced the skin with her sharp blade, removing some of the fruit's seeds in the process. Nonchalantly, she threw them onto a silver plate with an eight-spoked wheel engraved on it, representing the seasons that had passed and shall. Gone were her doubts; what remained was the purpose of the ritual, and that alone was enough to keep her going.
The silence was finally broken by her crystalline voice, chanting,
"On this night of Samhain I mark thy passing,
O Sun King, through the sunset into the Land of the Young.
I mark also the passing of all who have gone before,
and all who will go after.
O Gracious Goddess,
Eternal Mother, Thou who gives birth to the fallen,
teach me to know that
in the time of the greatest darkness
there is the greatest light."
Kneeling on the floor, yet not defeated by the vindictiveness of the act, Rin lurched forward. Tasting the pomegranate seeds as Persephone would have sinfully done, Rin crushed the seeds with clenched teeth. The bittersweet aftertaste was too much too bear – for she knew she would bathe in the same sort of afterglow when all of this was over. Trying to ignore the sudden heaviness crushing her heart, she stared at the wheel on the silver plate and reminisced of things past.
Of what had happened the past year.
Of her resolve to leave Fuyuki City and fled here instead.
Of how she had survived the harsh bitterness of winter, running into the welcoming embrace of sweet spring.
Of how she had danced to the songs of summer, only to drown in the colors of autumn's carelessness.
The changing of the seasons reminded of her own steadfastness, and it scared her.
Her remembrance of him.
Tears began to sting her eyes, her vision became blurry. Even so, her steps remained steady as she lit a pyre in a cauldron. Holding the small parchment where the one thing she wished to be free of was written, she gazed deeply into the fire, almost entranced by the nakedness of the dancing flames. Taking a deep breath, she exclaimed,
"Wise One of the Waning Moon,
Goddess of the starry night,
I create this fire within thy cauldron
to transform that which is plaguing me.
May the energies be reversed:
From darkness, light!
From bane, good!
From death, birth!"
With one swift motion, Rin threw the parchment into the pyre; unforgiving. As she watched the flames burn, little by little her worries dissipated, turning into petty ashes. This would be the usual time for a usual Sorceress to leave the souls be; but Rin hadn't quite yet finished.
"Archer, descend to me,
Not as mine Servant, but a wandering Soul.
Steel is thy body; fire is thy blood.
Thou have created over a thousand blades,
Unknown to life, unknown to death.
Gladly I shall enter thy realm,
But only if thou shall enter mine.
May we meet, and know,
And remember thee again,
On this night of Oidhche Shamhna."
A slight breeze caressed her cheeks, yet she was too engulfed with the warmth of the fire to notice anything. However, she could feel chills trailing down her spine as she turned around to face the Western window, where her candles were originally lit.
All but one was out.
She could have waited for another 8 years to summon him again, but patience was not a word one would easily locate in Rin Tosaka's lexicon. She knew he was coming. Repeating the mantra endlessly, she moved further away from the cauldron and altar towards the Western window; enchanted by the moon's gaze.
"Archer, descend to me...!"
The last candle flickered out.
Dead.
"Do you honestly think that simply by cutting up a pomegranate and chewing its' seeds will summon me forward?"
"Archer?"
"Why do you call for me?"
"You took something from me when you left. I want it back."
"Liar. Did you not give it to me willingly?"
"..."
"Rin Tosaka, why do you summon me?"
"If I've failed in summoning you, then why are you even bothering to respond to me?"
"Curiosity. And you have not answered my question."
"I don't know. You irritate me. You hurt me a thousand times and I suffer. You sooth my fears. You heal me a million times more, yet I suffer more. You confuse me."
"Do you honestly think a mere fruit; however succulent will bring me to you?"
"There's no harm in trying."
"There will be harm if you do it wrongly. Calling souls from the realms of the dead isn't exactly what a Witch like you should do. You should know better, Rin."
"Like you should care."
"Oh, I care. I care if an evil soul trapped within the two worlds break free through the gap you have created and cause you harm. The balance between the two worlds will be thwarted, leading to an impending doom, and I will have to kill you for causing the turmoil in the first place. In the end I will be the one to harm you. I definitely care about that."
"See? You confuse me, even now."
"But do you really want me to appear before you?"
"...yes."
"You will have to be the sacrificial lamb, you know?"
"..."
"Rin Tosaka, why do you summon me?"
Rin awoke to find a pair of silvery orbs gazing into her eyes, while his lips – the lips that were made to say notorious things to her, curved into a half-smirk. "Welcome back to the living world, Rin."
"Archer?"
"Yes. It's me."
Those silver eyes that could have belonged to Arhianrhod; the Silver Wheel, were really his. It was really him. Ethereal. Not just a voice in the breeze or a vision in a dream.
He was as strong as she remembered him to be; and twice as devilish. Despite that, his worn expression did not conceal the fact that life as a Counter Guardian was, simply put, rough. Rough in the sense that everything seemed...lifeless. Lifeless in the sense that everything seemed...less feisty.
Less feisty in the sense that the souls there were not and could never be...his Rin.
It took her a while for her eyes to adjust when she realized that the cauldron flames were out. None of the fire she initially lit was still burning. Nonetheless, she was still able to make out Archer's silhouette from the moonlight. Tracing the shadows on Archer's face with her cold fingers, she could not help but feel the warm wickedness radiating from Archer's mere presence.
"If you notice, I've extinguished every fire in the room but one," he said huskily. "One common flame," he clarified, as he pulled her into his lap so that she straddled him.
Rin's breath caught as he formed the next word that would definitely make her shudder.
"Me," Archer said, his voice an octave deeper.
Rin and all her majestic plans had crumbled to pieces. Maybe she had been living in this cold city too long, that she had forgotten how it felt to just let go and melt away.
"And I'm going to light that fire within you," he continued, "right here," pointing straight to Rin's heart, before his hand travelled north to capture her chin between two gentle fingers. His other hand picked up Rin's pomegranate leftovers and brought the fruit to her mouth, brushing it against her lips. "Bite it," Archer whispered, "Let it burst in your mouth, let the taste scorch your tongue."
Rin obeyed as warmth began to spread all over her body, her lips and teeth nibbling on the fruit in an almost jerky fashion since Archer was playfully feeding her. Traces of the fruit juices trailed down her chin, Archer wiped it in an instant with his thumb and licked it. Even before Rin swallow the fruit down, Archer quickly captured her lips with his, exploring every corner of her mouth with his tongue, tasting every single drop of Rin's pomegranate-laden sweetness.
Feeling bold, Rin broke the kiss only to lavish her attention on Archer's palm, which had been sticky from holding the fruit. Tracing every line with the tip of her tongue; sucking on his delightfully bronzed skin.
Sun-kissed.
Archer pulled his hand away before using it to rake her glorious tumble of ravenous hair, tilting her head to receive yet another assault on her lips, this time deeper and more passionate. His free hand toyed with the creamy flesh of her thighs, before inching upwards, too close, but not quite at, where Rin would have wanted his fingers to go. Instead, he paused for breath and rested his head at the crook of her neck instead, this time his hand playing at the hem of her sweater, tracing the sweaty skin underneath.
"Do you honestly think a mere fruit, however succulent, is going to bring me to you?"
If it meant that she would have to be the bait, she would do it. To bring him to her.
"You will have to be the sacrificial lamb, you know?"
Tonight, she would give her all to him. She knew it from the start that somehow it would lead down this tricky path. She would be the hearth to his common flame, and she would burn for him. She would walk through the fire and be purified from all other thoughts but him. Because she believed that these thoughts would disappear once morning came.
Tonight, there was no Servant or Master. There was only a young lost soul in search for her other half, and an ancient soul who was willing to give it to her, yet with a price.
It never occurred to Rin that Archer was trying really hard to restrain himself from doing anything he would regret as mere wandering Soul. If calling a Soul to the Realm of the Living was taboo, any physical contact between a Soul and a Human would be blasphemous. Anything beyond that...would be unimaginable.
"Rin Tosaka, why do you summon me?"
She had convinced herself that when he left her, he had stolen her heart away. Everything she had lived for afterwards had been disappointingly worthless. Upon this realization, she was determined to get him to return her heart back to her.
The other half of her soul.
The truth was, she wasn't even aware that she did willingly give her heart away to him. It wasn't as if he had not taken care of it – in fact he had cherished it too much, like fragile porcelain that would break even with the slightest touch. He would not have survived the Realm of the Dead if not for Rin's farewell gift -- half of her living soul.
Now that she demanded it back from him, he would have to persuade her to change her mind. Because he still had 8 years to go and he would have gone crazy without the only thing keeping him sane.
His remembrance of her.
The part of her soul that could have loved him but wouldn't. Not yet, anyway.
Since he was going to keep that half of her soul for another 8 years, he would have to seduce her.
But he couldn't bring himself to do it all the way. He knew his limitations, the boundary of which no Soul should ever cross with a Human, the same way no Servant should with a Master.
As they laid there, him caressing her untainted skin, a casual onlooker would probably assume that he was merely whispering sweet nothings in her ear. In essence, he was only waiting for the breaking dawn, marking the true end of summer. Winter will open its' gates, and the darkness shall assume light's position. Yet the torches of fire will keep on burning, the ones that he had passed to her.
He would have to leave her now, and never return for at least 8 years, to complete the 10-year-cycle before the next Holy Grail War starts again. In return of her soul's half, she would have to wait 8 years before summoning him again as a Servant for the War.
As the first rays of sun pierced through the morning sky, Archer faded away, as he watched Rin's peaceful sleeping form, innocent and childlike from the distance. When she woke up, she would not be able to remember a thing of her attempts (and a successful one) at summoning the dead. Summoning him, as a matter of fact. It would all seem to be an unachievable fantasy, unthinkable even for an unorthodox Sorceress like her.
Archer clutched the parchment she had thrown into the cauldron's pyre, the one thing she wished she could get rid of – the words were all written in that small piece of parchment.
"Archer, the Servant, the Counter Guardian, the haunting soul," she had written.
She had wanted to get rid of him, presumably after she gained the other half of her soul back. It was her planned punishment of him, so that he would never be able to re-enter her world; her life.
'That cruel witch,' he cursed. Yet he grinned wickedly.
'Too bad, Rin,' he thought.
"I'm not going to give up without putting up a fight."
A/N: Some of the chants are not entirely mine, although I've altered them a bit. Because they're ceremonial for Samhain rituals, you see. :)
It'd be great if you guys would tell me what you think about it! It's been a while since I've written an FSN fic, so forgive me if this seemed a bit...choppy or doesn't make any sense. Thanks for reading!
