Where Butterflies Never Die

Where Butterflies Never Die

For TheGodsCanDance and my cousin Emilie.

Please enjoy.

The sky was like black ink, the gold and red pouring into it in streaks and curls. The stars glimmered like sprinkled glitter, appearing and disappearing in the changing light. A gentle hum filled the void, rising and falling as the planets danced around each other. The moon's cracked and splintered surface stretched and jutted, the craters casting shadows across its uneven surface. It was beautiful.

As it sat on the moon's surface, the TARDIS' doors stood open, letting The Doctor admire it all from the safety of his ship. His beautiful, beautiful ship. He took a deep breath. The smell of metal was light among the air that was filled with the scent of Space. No human could ever smell the perfume of the stars like he could. No one could take a breath of the purest air there was and truly appreciate it. Not like he could. Space really had no air, so all the scents of the stars and planets merged immediately together to create a strange essence that filled the void. It fused with the song and together they played a wonderful melody.

The Doctor gazed intently at the colours, twisting and curving in the sky as though dancing. It made him think of butterflies. He couldn't think why. His breath hitched. She had loved butterflies. Maybe it was a thing with human women. Every one he had ever met seemed to like the bizarre creatures. He did too, but she never knew that. The Last of the Time Lords could not be attracted to butterflies. They were too ordinary. Too, human.

His ship moaned mournfully behind him, but he paid no attention. He knew She just wanted to go. She could feel his pain and wanted to leave. The TARDIS wanted to make him better. But how could She? She knew nothing of what he was feeling. Her emotions were too mild, and She only ever glimpsed his own. Whatever the TARDIS felt from him at that moment was only a fraction compared to the whole thing. So how could She understand he needed moments like this?

Oh his wonderful, wonderful ship. If only She understood.

The Doctor looked down at the Earth as it spun so slowly. Everyone down there had no idea that one of the bravest humans he had ever known was no longer walking among them. Not that she really had before that. She came home when she wanted to. But he knew that what she truly loved was flying through the stars with him. He knew it. Just looking at her, he could see her eyes light up at the mere thought of seeing a new star. A new planet. A new world…

He loved her so dearly. He still does.

"'S beautiful," she said. The Doctor smiled to himself, not turning round. His eyes were fixed on the changing hues of Space.

"It is," he replied softly. His voice was so quiet.

"I didn't know we had things like that were right above our heads," she continued. The Doctor heard her walk up behind him, her shoes barely making a sound on the grating. "What is it?"

"Oh, just some Space debris mixing with some solar energy radiating off the Earth and Sun," The Doctor said. His words so wonderfully masked in a new voice. The voice he used when explaining things. It seemed like so long ago since he had last used it.

"Yeah well, it's still lovely," she said, a small laugh rising from the end of her sentence. The Doctor so desperately wanted to turn around.

Turn around.

Turn around.

Look at her.

I just want to look at her.

"Doctor…"

The word. The name. The curse…

She was getting closer to him now. So close he almost felt her warm breath upon his neck, as she leaned up to whisper something in his ear. Three beautiful words.

"I love you."

"Rose…" He turned. And the spell was broken.

The Doctor looked around his ship, turning around the walls as they curved, falling down the console's heart and finally stopping at the empty captain's chair. Empty. The TARDIS was empty of anything but him. Of course it was. What else did he expect to find?

The Doctor let out a long sigh. In that sigh a flood of words went with it. All unsaid. Nothing more than a breath being let out amongst the air. So many words. So many things he had never told her. So many words…

He looked around once more, turning back to watch the Space he knew so well. He said nothing else. He stood there for many more minutes, praying within himself for the dream to start again. For him to once again pretend to have conversations they never had. To once again fool himself into believing she was there.

But there were no words.

And there was no Rose.

I hope you enjoyed it. Thank you for everything you've done for me.