And in my darkest moment, fetal and weeping

The moon tells me a secret - my confidant

As full and bright as I am
This light is not my own and

A million light reflections pass over me

Its source is bright and endless
She resuscitates the hopeless
Without her, we are lifeless satellites drifting…

tool

in the wake of dawn

                by eve

part one: the star in the ugly sky

                She didn't appear to be nervous. In fact, given the circumstances… she didn't even feel nervous at all. Strange, she mused. I got to lay off the coffee three times a day. But it was odd, she had to admit. This had to be the biggest and most important speech of her career as Vice Foreign Minister and, well… it really didn't bother her. She sighed, running her fingers through a few loose strands of hair that covered her eyes. She really had been working way too hard these last couple years… And she was going to unplug all her damn phones when she got back home.

                Relena sighed again. I've been sighing way too much lately. It wasn't like she was bored with her life. She was too busy to be bored anyway. Meetings, political functions, speeches, assassination attempts, speeches, more political functions… and her personal favorite, being groped by a man thirty years her own age. Ah, the wonders of a femme politician's life. So exciting, old perverted men. But then again, there were the hot sexy bodyguards that surrounded her. That was the fun part. She laughed softly, combing her hair up into a loose bun.

                Her eyes wandered to her reflection as her lips curved into a coy smile. Mmmm… bodyguards…. Heero with his shirt off… She chuckled, smoothing out her white oxford. It was a dangerous thing giving her time to think to herself… But then again, this was the time that she used to stress about speech memorization and her outfit. What the hell was wrong with her? But then, really there was nothing wrong with her. She was just… well… she was just content. She had basically set out to accomplish and accomplish she did. The only things left on her 'things to do' list was this damn speech and great sex. And great sex was something she had waited too damn long to do. Sexual frustration does not mix well with stress under the job. Even Hilde had told her to just go out and get laid.

                Her gaze traveled to the stack of index cards behind her and then back to her mirror. She had chosen a comfortable outfit for today's speech… the important speech.  A long button-down oxford with the sleeves rolled up and the first three buttons unbuttoned with a pair of faded jeans and flip-flops. She looked comfortable. At ease in some respect. How long had it been since she had felt like this?

                "Ms. Doralin! Two more minutes."

                "Thank you," she called back, eying the high-heeled boots with a mixture of amusement and distaste. She peered down back at her flip-flops and chuckled. Now here was the dilemma, flip-flops or the sexy boots. Comfort or pain? Killing her publicist or sparing her a heart-attack? Decisions, decisions, decisions…

                Her grin widened. Hil always said improvising was my best friend… She grabbed the boots and in a fluid motion, put them on her feet and straightened her jeans. There. Sexually frustrated and damn proud of it. Her eyes wandered around the room and spotted matches that the attendants had used to light the candles in her room. Matches… I like matches… Her eyes turned back to the index cards on the desk, her lips turning into an even eviler smile.

                "Ms. Doralin, is there anything I can get you before you go on?"

                She turned slightly, grabbing the matches. "A large cup of coffee would be wonderful, thank you."

                "You're on in a minute, Ms. Doralin."

                "Yes, thank you."

                Satisfied with her handiwork, Relena turned away from the gold flames and exited the door with a bright and relaxed smile on her face. Well, world… get ready 'cause I am going to go out with flames.

                She was happy for the first time in years.

**

                He had never seen her like this. In fact, a relaxed Relena was something altogether new for him and for the rest of the of the world. Surely, he paused and noting the applause. Surely, the rest of those here are noticing the changes as well. But when she stepped into the light, it was then he nearly fell out of his chair.

                In all of the years that he had guarded her, let alone knew her, Relena Doralin had never worn a smile on her face that was that brilliant. She could practically stop the sun from shining with that smile. Another thing, he noticed was her choice of clothing. Relena never was seen in anything but skirt and pant suits and ball gowns for any of the occasions she attended. But this… this… It dawned on him, now. Relena was showing the world who she was. But for that he had no idea why.

                He liked her like this, he decided. Tight stonewashed jeans that clung to her legs just right with a button-down oxford, opened so much so that it tantalized the view. Vaguely, he could make out a gold cross that had been given to her by Duo for her eighteenth birthday years ago. He licked his lips as his eyes journeyed up to her hair, pulled back with a few loose tendrils brushing her face. Her cerulean eyes were bright with many emotions--- amusement, longing, frustrations, and other dark unreadable ones that made him shiver inwardly. And spotting the coffee mug, he nearly grinned. Relena was definitely a puzzle to even the naked eye.

                He shifted so that he could see her better when she began to speak.

                "My best friend once told me that improvising was something that I should never shun because one day, I would rely heavily on it. And regardless of what my publicist is going to think of me, I apologize Nancy for making your stroke rate go up, but true to her words… improvising is definitely apart of today's agenda. Now rest assure, I did have my index cards prepped and ready for today's little shindig. But really it wasn't until four o'clock this morning that I did decide, what the hell I'm going to improvise. Figured, this would be the way I'd go out. You know… with a bang? No pun intended," she paused, chuckling.

                He watched as she leaned forward on the podium, completely oblivious to the flashing cameras and the whispers in the crowds. But then again, maybe she wasn't. Relena had spent years in the spotlight and she did once mention to him that in fact, they did tend to bug the hell out of her. But now, she looked perfectly content with herself. She sipped her coffee and continued on.

                "So yes, improvising. Yesterday or today, depending on your own preference of judging the early morning hours, I just basically decided to tell it like it is. Although this whole train of thought has lead me to sporadically set ablaze my two hour speech in my dressing room, I began to really think about what I really want to say to everyone.

                Tell it like it is… is such a loaded phrase, you know. It's either sugar-coated so that you can manipulate it to your own personal favor. Or my favorite, being completely and utterly blunt as hell. And tonight, ladies and gentleman, of the press, the audience, and of the esteemed council… that is what I've decided to do today, be blunt as hell.

                These past couple of years have certainly been an experience, I won't lie to you. I'm an honest politician. I have spent countless of hours sitting through meetings and writing proposals as well as trying to find a middle ground for a lot of useless, and I do mean useless, quarrels. Not to mention the assassination attempts. Not that I don't appreciate the attention, but really given a girl a break. At least give holidays off, before trying to kill me."

                He chuckled, knowingly accepting her hit at him. This was her show and by far she was running it. She seemed so self-assured now, compared to the little girl he had meant once upon a time ago---fatherless and ready to take on the whole damn universe needed it be. And look at her now, he thought with pride. She's changed… I've changed…

We've both---

                "This speech today goes beyond me getting a twisted pleasure out of making everyone's panties go into a bunch or tormenting my poor publicist who's probably twitching on the floor of her home, but it's really about change. I've been thinking about change a lot, but not really realizing that I was think about change. Honestly, it really just takes an obnoxious amount of little things for me to notice. Really, who knew that anything from cutting my damn hair to completely changing and revising the peace proposal to L4-XX92's revisionist plan? But on a serious note, I began to watch on how things have finally started to come together. People really starting to see what needs to be done to prevent the next Eve Wars or hostile take over from a small faction.

                And I for once am happy to say that I am proud. Ladies and gentlemen, I am proud of the progress that has made through all the years I've been in office. But really the concept of change has played an immense role in the acquired progress and effort to succeed that has been made today.  I am proud to say that there is no longer mindless debts that take hours and hours just to stop, but inside are approach with such a timeless attempt to honestly accomplish something. And finally, I am proud to have my own personal sense of accomplishment.

                I can say that this was a learning experience for me, but it would not do the seven long years that I've spent working for piece. It has been an experience, and I won't like to you about the ups and downs, but I will definitely keep this with me as long as I can live."

                Heero shifted in his chair, eyes wide. She's going to---

                "As I began to say, this speech is about how things are finally becoming together and about embracing change in all the forms that it has taken… Which is why today, ladies and gentlemen, today I am here to tell you that I will not be running for Minister in this years election…"

                So started the flashes, the mummers and shouts, and the sighs… It's going to be a very long night, he mused. But that thought didn't stop the smile that crossed his lips.

                Heero Yuy was finally happy.

**

author's notes:

So this is me, easing back into the world of gundam wing fiction. This is a peace offering for those fans of Wanders: Il Caduto Dimenticato, I do apologize for the hold and rest assure I have not lost interest in the story… I'm just looking for the right way to end the second book.

                So my peace offering, like I said is this wonderful two-part WAFF subject to be finished this week. I do hope you enjoy it and will review!