So I had this idea for a few nights and I just had to write it up. I was reading a Moreid fic called A Fresh Start and got my motivation to actually write this. So here goes.
I've started noticing similarities between my story and the story that gave me motivation to write this and I swear to you I'm not intending to copy anything. I don't think it'll look too similar after this chapter though but I'm not sure.
Warnings: Mention of suicide attempt, suicidal thoughts/actions, depression, LGBT themes, bullying
Pairing(s): Moreid.
Definitions: (as appearing)
Angelborn: a species of beings with wings like birds. They were thought to be born of angels. They and their mates have a special bond where if one writes on themself it appears on the other's skin as well.
Binder: a piece of clothing used to bind and make one's chest appear flat. Or in the case of this story, to better hide wings and make them flat against one's back.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but Erik (shameless self insert), his dad, and his mom. And any future bullies. They're regretfully mine too. Maybe.
Spencer Reid wasn't like all the other Angelborn. If his human mother wasn't enough to prove that his high IQ, uncanny ability to read over 20,000 words a minute, and his eidetic memory certainly were. He'd been teased endlessly for being a freak all through his school years and he doubted high school would be any different. Yet despite that he'd opted out of skipping grades, wanting to at least seem normal enough.
His paranoid schizophrenic mother had been checked into Bennington sanitarium just a few months ago when Spencer had attempted suicide during one of her fits. The young teen regretted it if only due to the fact he'd had to move in with his uncle and cousin who was only two years older than he was. He wasn't close with either and didn't want to be.
Yet here he was in Quantico, sitting shirtless on his bed dreading the start of school. His elegant wings drooped over the bed due to his hunched over state. He was attempting to halt any tears that tried to pass his scrunched eyelids.
He startled at the knock on his door and quickly pulled his long sleeve shirt over his head, struggling a moment before muttering a shaky "come in".
His cousin's face appeared through the cracked door looking nervous. "Hey Spence," Erik started, making his way into the neat room and closing the door behind him. "I, uh, have something for you."
Spencer was immediately on edge. "What?"
Erik flushed pink. "It's one of my old binders. I know I'm not an Angelborn like you are but it'll help hide your wings…" he held up what looked like a tank top, a few shades darker than Spencer's skin. "You want me to help you into it?"
Spencer relaxed slightly and nodded, taking his shirt off subconsciously.
"Fold your wings up against your back," Erik instructed, watching with fascination as Spencer did so. "Okay now hold your arms up."
Spencer hesitantly did so and tried not to flinch as the piece of cloth dropped down on top of his head, his cousin's fingers brushing his scars lightly. Then the touch was gone and the tight piece of clothing was pulled down, pressing his wings against his back. Spencer winced and shuffled causing Erik to give him a panicked look.
"Is it too tight? I can go get a different one if-"
"No it-it's just weird," Spencer admitted. "Thank you…"
Erik relaxed. "Of course."
Spencer watched as the older teen shuffled slightly. "Is… something bothering you?" He asked uncomfortably.
"It's just a shame you have to hide your wings," Erik responded, watching as Spencer pulled his shirt back on, the piece of clothing seeming to fit better for the first time. "They're really beautiful."
Spencer didn't mean to give him a dark look. "They've gotten me into more trouble than they're worth. I'd rather be normal than a freak." He grabbed his backpack and pulled it over his shoulders. "Thank you for the binder."
Erik nodded uncomfortably. "No problem. I don't need it anymore so it doesn't serve a purpose for me any longer." He shuffled a bit. "If you need help getting in and out of it I'll be more than happy to help, I know how hard it can be until you're used to it."
"Thank you," Spencer said almost automatically.
"So… you, uh, want a ride to school?"
"I think I'll walk," Spencer said uncomfortably.
"It's no trouble, really. Just let me know if you change your mind." And with that Erik vanished from his room, leaving Spencer to his thoughts.
The same words flew through his mind, racing back and forth as if being shot to and fro.
'Freak.'
'Creep.'
'Weirdo'
'Why would anyone care what happens to you.'
'You should just die.'
He sniffled, not realising he'd started to cry. He wiped at his face roughly and opened his door.
When he stepped into the school he took a deep breath, looking around at the empty hall before spotting the principal's office. He walked over quietly, stopping outside when he heard voices.
"What do you mean he's not here?" Erik's voice floated over to him.
"I mean he's not here," the receptionist responded, irritation filling her tone.
"Then he's missing! He left before me this morning, please." Erik begged.
"I still haven't seen him, that doesn't change my answer," the woman replied unhappily. Spencer chose that moment to step into the office, dragging the woman's attention to himself. "Well speak of the devil," she stood up. "Principal Gideon has been waiting for you."
"Spencer!" Erik rushed over and hugged his younger cousin. "I thought something happened to you! Are you alright?"
Spencer squirmed out of his hold. "I'm fine." he mumbled.
"I'm driving you to school from now on, no arguments," Erik stressed. "You missed half your first class already, what were you thinking? You could've been hurt!"
"Stop mothering me," Spencer frowned. "It's weird. And if I've missed half a class, you must've as well."
"You're my little cousin, i'm gonna fuss about you dammit." Erik huffed.
"Mister Cole, please get off of our new student and head to class," a sharp voice followed the voice and looked up at the elder man. He was wearing a burnt orange coloured sweater and a pair of square glasses. Erik slunk back and huffed before leaving the office.
"Thank you," Spencer said awkwardly.
"Of course. You must be Spencer Reid." The principal reached his hand out expectantly and Spencer shied away.
"I'm sorry, I don't shake hands, it actually spreads more germs than kissing."
Gideon hitched an eyebrow up with a bemused smile. "Well alright. Follow me, let's get that schedule situated." He motioned for Spencer to follow him and walked into a room behind the receptionist's desk. He sat down on a cushioned chair behind a heavy oak desk, pushing his glasses up as he leaned towards his computer to pull up Spencer's schedule. "Let's see," he hums, glancing over the schedule.
"It looks like you need to choose two extra curricular activities." Gideon said, turning the screen towards Spencer. The younger browsed the list like someone window shopping.
"Culinary and… art." Spencer said quietly. "Please," he added.
"Alright, culinary and art." Gideon typed into his schedule and nodded to himself. He printed out the paper and pulled out a highlighter, marking six classes. "It looks like you'll be missing your first class today, I'll be sure that's not held against you. I've had miss Blake call one of the computer science students to give you a tour and show you to your classes." He turned the marked paper for Spencer to see. "You have two year long classes and eight half year classes." He explained. "I've marked the classes you have for this semester of the year. If anything seems amiss feel free to visit me anytime."
"Thank you, mister Gideon." Spencer said, taking the paper and memorizing the words quietly.
"Your guide is here," Gideon said, dragging Spencer's attention. He followed the older man's gaze to see a plump eccentric girl standing in the office. She caught his gaze and waved happily.
Spencer left Gideon's office reluctantly to meet the older student who would be taking him on a tour of the school. She looked excited which honestly scared him. "Hi!" she greeted, reminding Spencer of a hyper puppy. "My name is Penelope," she grins happily. "You must be Spencer! Well of course you are thats a silly question. You look much older than the picture I saw."
"Miss Garcia," the receptionist chastised. "How many times have we told you not to hack into other student's files?"
Spencer froze. She hacked into his file? 'How much does she know?'
"I didn't look too far," Penelope pouts, answering his unasked question. "I just wanted to see what he looked like and if we had any classes together. Which we do, yay!"
'Yay?' Spencer thought with dread. No one was ever excited to have a class with him unless they were planning on beating him or publicly embarrassing him. He startled out of his thoughts when someone grabbed his wrist.
"Come on, boy genius," Penelope said happily, "let me show you around this place. First stop, the computer science room! Thats where we'll make your student ID badge and I can show you around and introduce you to everyone."
His heart dropped with even more dread. "Can-can we just get my badge and finish the tour instead?"
Penelope seemed to sense his dread because she nodded and smiled softly. "Not a people person, eh? Me too, that's why I like to stick to my screens. Now come on silly, let's get this party started!"
She reached for his wrist and he panicked, yanking his arm away before she could touch him. "Please don't touch me, I'll follow you, I promise."
Penelope nodded slightly, "Alrighty, boy genius."
He hated that nickname already.
The computer science room was dim, lit mostly by the numerous screens students hunched over. From what Spencer saw it looked like they were coding their own websites. He didn't get to look closer tho because Penelope continued walking, going into a separate room. "This is where we take pictures," she informed him. "Stand right there and flash me a pretty smile."
He hesitated but did as told, a timid smile gracing his lips. She hadn't assaulted him yet, that was a blessing in itself.
"I'm practically the teacher's assistant," Penelope babbled away, seeming content to keep up the one sided conversation. "I hacked into his class things and corrected some of the slides and he gave me almost assistant status." Spencer shifted and Penelope scowled at him. "Stay still, I can't take the picture if you're moving around a lot."
"Sorry," Spencer squeaked, tugging his sleeves a bit before settling. He heard a shutter and saw the bright flash of the camera and had to suppress the queasy feeling it gave him. It reminded him of his middle school where the football team had tied him to the goal post completely naked and taken pictures of him. When his vision cleared up he saw Penelope standing over a small machine with a focused expression, he didn't dare move though and settled on watching her curiously.
The sound of something being printed filled the small room and when it stopped Penelope took what he assumed was his badge and put it on a lanyard. "Freshman," she grinned. "I'm a freshman too, you'll like it here. We have some mixed classes but with your grade point average i doubt they'll be any problem for you." She handed him the lanyard which he awkwardly put on.
"Mixed… classes?"
"Yeah, you know, classes with people from other grades. Some of my best friends are in higher grades than us."
'Great, just what I need, bullies older and stronger than me…' Spencer thought sourly. Instead he forced a smile. "So, um, my tour?"
"Yes! Just let me grab my things real quick and we'll be off." She went back into the dim computer room and went to what Spencer assumed was her desk. She grabbed her bags and motioned for him to follow her out of the class.
"And this is your next class," Penelope was saying, the tour of the large school finished. "Sorry you're a little late."
"It's okay," Spencer mumbled awkwardly. "Thank you."
"No problem," Penelope smiled. "I'll see you in gym."
'Gym? Shit.' Spencer had to suppress a whimper at the thought. He swallowed hard and nodded. "See you in gym." He slunk past her into his class, showing the teacher his late pass and going to take a seat in the back, trying to ignore the stares he got.
He sat down beside a dark haired girl and pulled out a notebook, quickly making work of his notes. "Woah," she said. "You're fast."
His cheeks flush pink and he smiles slightly. "Thanks?"
She chuckles at him and smiles softly. "I'm Emily," she says, holding a hand out.
"I don't shake hands… germs," he says awkwardly. Her eyes sparkle with something he can't place and he shivers. "I-I'm Spencer."
"Well, Spencer, welcome to hell."
Spencer smiles softly at Emily's 'welcome to hell' joke. He knew all too well what hell looked like. And he doubted high school would be any different. "Thanks," he says softly.
"Of course. You think you can give me some tips on note taking?"
He blushes and shuffles. "I don't really have any tips, I just write down the most important stuff." 'Not that I really need to…' "So I guess just make notes of what you think you'll need."
Emily blinks. "You know, that actually makes a lot more sense than writing each and every word Tarklin puts on the board."
"Miss Prentiss," the teacher barks, "what is my rule on talking in class?"
Emily scowls. "I was just introducing myself to Spencer."
"I asked you a question," Tarklin frowns.
Emily rolls her eyes. "No talking unless there's a group project or free time." She looks back at Spencer. "Asshole," she mumbles to him, making him laugh a little.
"What was that, Prentiss?"
"Nothing," she smiles, batting her eyelashes innocently.
The rest of English was spent in silence.
Spencer dreaded gym class. The thought made him feel ill. He wasn't built to be an athlete, he wasn't good at sports. He followed Emily uncomfortably, expecting her to turn to a different class but was surprised when she walked into the gym before him. She went over to a group sitting on the floor against the folded bleachers.
Penelope looked up and grinned at him, waving him over to the group. "Spencer! Hi!" He felt a blush come on as he awkwardly walked over. "Welcome to our cult," she joked. "This is Arron Hotchner," she pointed to a stern looking boy sitting across from her, "Derek Morgan," the attractive Boy sitting beside her, "Davis Rossi," the tan boy sitting beside Arron, "Jennifer Jareau," the pretty blond on her other side, "and Emily Prentiss. Everybody, this is Spencer Reid, he's in our grade. Come on, boy genius, join us."
He sat down between Emily and Jennifer awkwardly.
"I really think LaMontagne has a thing for me," Jennifer said, looking over her shoulder at one of the boys playing basket ball.
"Will?" Emily asks, looking at the boy. "Totally JJ, there's no doubt."
JJ smiles crookedly. "I really hope so."
"Ah, young love," Penelope muses.
"Hey! We're the same age!" JJ protested, face pink with a blush.
"Well you're younger than her by a few months," Derek says.
"Don't encourage her Morgan," JJ yelped, causing Derek to laugh.
"I'm not encouraging nothing, am I mama?" the dark skinned boy looks at Penelope with a smile.
Penelope hums and smiles back. "You sure aren't, my chocolate Adonis."
Spencer watches the whole altercation silently, drifting off from the conversation to hide out in his own mind, somewhere he understood perfectly. Well, almost perfectly. Currently his mind was in shambles, completely thrown for a loop that because of the fear this group was unintentionally instilling in him.
He was panicking, breath laboured and forced as he tried to calm down.
David was the first to notice. "Um, guys, our new member's having issues."
"What's wrong with him?" Penelope asked, leaning forward to look at his glassy eyes.
"I believe he's having what we call a panic attack." David said, worry etched across his brow.
The next thing they know there's a streak bolting across the floor and grabbing Spencer up. They vanish into the locker rooms and spencer blindly flails about, landing a punch and hearing a familiar "Oof!"
"Erik?" he squeaks through a wheeze. "What are-"
"Take it off. The binder, now."
Spencer doesn't argue and takes off his shirt, struggling to peal the tight clothing off while being aided by his cousin. "What-"
"It's bad to panic in a binder, it compresses which makes it harder to breath. I might've passed out a few times because of it." Erik says awkwardly. "Just calm down and put it back on when you're ready."
"What are you doing in my gym class?"
"It's a mixed class. Tomorrow we're in a classroom for sex education, yuck."
Spencer blushes. "Oh. Okay."
"Yeah, Mondays and Wednesdays we're in the classroom, Tuesday and Thursday we're in the gym, Friday is free choice."
Spencer nods awkwardly, taking the chance to stretch his wings out. They were truly a spectacle, beautiful white down feathers reaching towards the ceiling. And just his luck that the locker room door opens and Derek Morgan steps in.
Both teens' eyes widen and Spencer starts panicking again, quickly being covered by Erik's sweater, the older teen going over and grabbing Derek's shirt. "Tell no one and you get to live. Tell anyone and I will personally gut you."
Derek nods quickly as Spencer tugs the sweater over his head to hide his wings.
Spencer shuffles awkwardly and looks at Derek slightly. "Erik, please don't do this, you're only adding a target to my back."
"I'm trying to remove a target. This guy's a jock, if the team found out you'd be endlessly bullied." Erik said.
"He's a jock?" Spencer squeaks.
"Yeah, but from what I know he's tame, not like the wild animals who abuse their popularity. He hangs out with the kids that don't fit in anywhere."
Spencer relaxes only slightly, the oversized sweater becoming more of a comfort item than it was intended on being.
"Spencer, get dressed. I'll make sure no one else comes in," Erik says, pushing Derek towards the door gently.
Spencer nods and waits for them to exit before taking the sweater off. He pauses and stares at his wrists for a moment before digging in his bag for a pen, using the cap to scratch cuts into his wrist. Feeling his anxiety fade to exhaustion he puts the pen away and struggles into the binder, pulling his shirt and Erik's sweater on before looping his messenger bag over his shoulder like normal. He hesitantly leaves the locker room and stops when he sees a group of worried teens being assured by Derek and Erik that he was fine.
Penelope spots him first and shoves past them to bear hug him. "I was so worried! I'm so sorry we made you panic!"
"It's okay," he assures her awkwardly.
"I take it i'm not getting my sweater back?" Erik pouts.
"Nope," Spencer smiles softly and heads back over to the spot the group had been sitting at. They follow like worried parents. He frowns. "I'm fine, you don't have to worry over me anymore."
"But we made you panic," Penelope says.
"And I'm fine now, it's okay."
"Good, we don't like when our friends are upset," Penelope says matter of factly, causing Spencer to freeze and wince as his shirt rubs his new cuts.
"Friends?"
"Well, yeah," Emily says.
"You guys consider me your friend?" he asks, stunned as they all respond with variations of confirmation. "But you hardly know me."
"Boy wonder, we like you, it doesn't matter how well we know you. We don't know why emily likes Nickleback but she's our friend, we all have secrets."
'Like giant wings on your back and scars on your wrists?' Spencer thought bitterly. He forced a smile. "Friends, never had any before."
"What?" Penelope all but shrieks at him. "Oh hell to the no, we are going to be your best friends by lunch time or my name isn't Penelope Garcia!"
He laughs softly and Derek grins. "You got him to laugh, PG."
"I did, I made him laugh and it was the most adorable thing I've ever heard. You've got yourself some competition now, my God, he's trying to steal me away from you." She grins.
"Oh, I-I'm not-"
"Chill, she's joking," Emily laughs. "You should be in theatre instead of Hotch."
"For sure," Penelope responds, sitting down again, the others joining her. "But alas, his infatuation with Haley brooks is my downfall."
The group laughs as Aaron blushes and tries to deny Penelope's words, failing miserably.
Near the end of gym class Spencer had warmed up to the quirky group. Erik found him again as the class was changing to go to lunch.
"It looks like you've made a couple of friends," Erik said with a smile. "That's good."
"Where were you? I didn't see you in the gym," Spencer said, confused.
"Oh. I was on top of the bleachers playing a game with some friends. It's all chill. Gym's actually pretty fun because the teacher rarely makes us actually do stuff."
Spencer nods. "We talked the whole time until Derek went off to play basketball, he's really good at it too."
Erik shrugs. "Yeah, he seems to pick up any sport he tries. Next week we have to play baseball out on the field."
Spencer felt his stomach drop. He wasn't any good at sport, hell he wasn't any good at socialising either.
Erik seems to notice and smiles softly. "Don't worry, it's all friendly. You aren't going to be graded on how good you play."
Just then another student jogs up to Erik in the cafeteria line and hugs him. "Hey erik, who's your friend?"
"My cousin Spencer, i told you he was moving here, remember babe?"
"Ah, the famous Spencer I've been hearing about, good to finally meet you," the boy holds out a hand.
"I don't shake hands, it's actually safer to kiss…"
"Oh, Erik would be jealous."
Spencer's eyes widen. "I didn't mean-"
"Don't worry," Erik laughs, "he's joking, aren't you Peter?"
"Yeah,of course it's a joke."
Spencer relaxes, blushing slightly. "Oh. Okay."
"So are you sitting with your new friends or are you sitting with me and Pete?" Erik asks.
"I don't think they want me sitting with them…"
"Spence, they're your friends, why wouldn't they want you sitting with them?"
Spencer shuffles as the line moves forward. "Because they're cooler than me."
"Spence look at me, you're cool as hell. You could've graduated by now but you chose not to, you're super smart and sweet. Now give me a real reason why you can't sit with them." Erik crossed his arms over his chest.
Spencer blushes. "Fine, but when they kick me out it's your fault."
"Of course, you can even punch me if you'd like." Erik smiled.
"Jerk." Spencer mumbles, grabbing a tray and getting his food, going out into the cafeteria to find his friends. When he spots them he makes a beeline towards them, not noticing someone sticking their foot out to trip him. By the time he realises it's too late, he's falling forward.
He lands face first in his tray, laughter filling his ears making his cheeks turn pink with embarrassment. He ignores Erik's bustling and runs out of the cafeteria, finding the bathroom and a stall to cry in.
Spencer sniffles and hushes himself when he hears the door open. He holds his breath anxiously as the footsteps come closer.
"Spencer?" Derek's voice said.
Spencer feels his throat tighten. 'He came to laugh at me, I know it.' He scrambles to sit on top of the toilet, keeping his feet on the seat. He startles as his foot slips and splashes in the toilet. A face appears under the stall door.
"Hey Pretty Boy, you okay?"
Spencer feels his heart flutter at the nickname. "I'll be fine, it's nothing I'm not used to."
Derek frowns. Crawling under the stall to join him. "You're used to that kind of crap?"
Spencer nods uncomfortably. "You just-"
"I know, I just want to make sure you're okay." Derek says with a slight nod.
"I'm fine," Spencer squeaked to the other boy in the small bathroom stall.
"Then come out and sit with us."
"What?" Spencer blinked. He hadn't expected that.
"Come out and sit with us, Pretty Boy. Penelope's all worried about you."
'Oh… of course, he doesn't really care about me.' Spencer shuffles and shakes his wet foot. "Um… y-yeah, okay."
"Then get off the toilet and come on."
Fourth block Spencer had chemistry, something he liked. Something that was easy for him.
Fifth block he had culinary. When he walked into the class he stopped, surprised to find Penelope bustling around one of the cook stations. He hesitantly walks over. "Penelope?"
"Yes, what!" She turned and blinked, eyes widening. "Spencer! Just in time, i need someone to mix the icing while I work on the cake mix, trying to do both just isn't working,"
He smiles awkwardly. "Alright." He looks at the ingredient list and started mixing the needed ingredients. He watched with both amusement and bewilderment. She was working so fast it almost didn't seem human.
"We're going to make the best cupcakes this whole class will have tasted!" she said eagerly, mixing quickly before dishing out the batter to the wrappers.
"How do you do that?" Spencer asks. "Move so fast I mean."
"It's called passion, baby," she responds, grinning as she twirls a bit, moving to pick out decorative toppings for their cupcakes.
Spencer had art next and was surprised to find Derek sitting in front of a canvas, working on something completely focused. He walked over quietly. "Is this seat taken?" he asks, causing Derek to notice him, a look of surprise on his face.
"No, no. Go on and sit down, Pretty Boy." Derek said and Spencer could've sworn he was blushing. "We're working on still life paintings, I'll go get your stuff."
"No I-I can do it myself," Spencer blushed. "Just tell me where to go."
Derek nods and tells him where to get his supplies, watching him like a hawk watching it's prey as Spencer goes and gets his items. He only calms down when Spencer sits down beside him with his supplies. Spencer felt self conscious under his scrutinising gaze.
"What?" Spencer asks shyly.
"Why are you used to it?"
"What?"
"The bullying. Why are you used to it?"
"I'm scrawny, smart, and an easy target. 77 percent of kids are bullied, that's about 160,000 a day." Spencer spouts, unable to stop the fact from passing his lips.
Derek just looks angry at the comment. "That many?"
Spencer gulps and nods. He panicked internally before spouting another fact. " Pelicans do not store fish in their pouch, but simply use it to catch them and then tip it back to drain out water and swallow the fish immediately."
"Uh…" Derek says awkwardly. "That's random, I didn't know that."
Spencer bites his lip and nods. "Yeah…"
The art class seems to drag on endlessly as Spencer avoids looking at Derek, focusing on his painting. When the bell rings he all but races to put his supplies up and leave, running into a broad chest as soon as he steps out of the door.
"Ouch man," Erik says, putting a hand on Spencer's head. "What's the rush?"
"Why are you here?" Spencer asked quickly.
"I'm driving you home," Erik responded, a curious look on his face. "Who are you running from? Do I need to beat someone's ass?"
"What? No. How did you find me?"
Erik smiled lopsidedly. "I went to the office and asked miss Blake for a copy of your schedule."
Spencer frowned. "And she just gave it to you?"
"Well it took some convincing but yes."
Spencer scowled. "Fine. Let's just get out of here, I'm tired."
"Ready as ever," Erik smiled, leading his cousin out to his truck, climbing into the front seat and cranking the car. "So, how was your first day?"
Spencer paused, clicking his seatbelt. "I… think I made some friends."
Erik grinned. "Great!"
Spencer blushes. "Sure." He stays silent for the rest of the car ride, not answering Erik's never ending questions.
When Spencer and Erik walked into the house Erik's mom greeted them happily. "Well look at my boys!" she said happily. "How was your first day of school Spencer?"
"Rude," Erik joked, walking up to her and hugging her, kissing her cheek. "I'll be in my room if you need me."
Spencer shrugged her question off. "I guess it was okay, aunt Jane." he finally said.
"No bullies I hope?"
'Not yet,' Spencer thought. "No," he said instead.
"Make any friends?"
"Maybe?" Spencer shuffled uncomfortably. "Can I just go to my room so I can finish my homework."
"Of course!" Jane Cole said chipperly. It was almost annoying how happy she was.
Spencer fought off a grimace as he walked up the stairs to his room, closing and locking the door behind him. He tossed his bag to the floor and took his shirt off, managing to get the binder off and free his wings. He let them stretch, preening them equally before sitting down on his bed, satisfied.
He looked at his wrist anxiously and waited. Sure enough dark letters started forming.
I'm stuck on a math problem, think you can help?
Spencer grinned, grabbing a pen to respond. Of course.
Thanks, you're a life saver!
Spencer smiled to himself and moved over to his desk, pulling out a notebook.
What's the problem? Spencer wrote on his skin, waiting for the response and helping his mate out with the math, helping him work through the problem step by step.
Spencer came down for dinner with a long sleeve shirt on, covering his new wounds and the writing. He'd been berated by his mate for cutting again and felt guilty about it, he'd forgotten that his mate would get the same marks he got. He just wished he knew who he was talking to.
Erik was in an animated conversation with his dad, flailing his arms as he dramatically as he told a story about how he'd taken down a jock. After listening for a while Spencer realised he was talking about Derek in the locker room after his panic attack (which he left out).
Erik's dad was smiling gently and watching his son talk excitedly. "I didn't even panic a little bit when I was confronting him! It was like I was invincible!"
"That's great son," his father said, causing Erik to beam, "standing up for family is always good." He turned to Spencer. "If you ever have any other bullies just turn to Erik."
Spencer nods awkwardly and silently pushes his food around his plate. He picks at it a little before excusing himself to the bathroom. He sits on the closed toilet for a moment, eying one of the razors on the side of the tub. He picks it up and fumbles with it for a minute before the tingle of another message pulls him out of his head. He galnces at his wrist which he'd scrubbed clean before heading to dinner.
So what happened earlier?
Spencer blinked, confused. He fumbles on the sink counter and finds an eyeliner pen. What?
I've got these white marks on my wrist. You told me the big ones were a suicide attempt, what happened earlier? You cut didn't you?
Spencer blushes and pauses. Yeah…
Wanna talk about it?
Spencer bit his lip and shuffled. Just then a knock sounded on the door and he panicked, scribbling a frantic no before getting up and washing his wrist off. He answered the door hesitantly and found a frowning Erik who looked past him then back at him. "Wrists. Now."
"What?"
"Show me your wrists. My razor is missing from the tub. Show me your wrists."
Spencer awkwardly showed his wrists to his cousin. Erik looked him over, scowling at the healing scratches from earlier that day.
"Hips." Erik ordered.
Spencer frowned. "Wh-"
"Show me your hips, Spencer." Erik hissed, shoving into the bathroom.
"I didn't cut!" Spencer yelped, uncomfortable with the breach of personal space. "I swear!"
Erik frowned. "I don't believe you." He looked around and took in the sight of the bathroom, frowning at the eyeliner pen. He picked it up and looked at Spencer strangely. "What were you doing with my makeup?"
Spencer felt the blush crawling over his face and ears as the tingle came back. He glanced at his arm, startled. Erik grabbed his wrist and watched as the letters formed.
What happened? You washed our words away so quickly, are you okay?
Spencer's blush darkened and he yanked his wrist away.
"Oh," Erik drawled. "I forgot about the whole mate thing. Are you going to respond to her?" Erik offered the eyeliner pen.
Spencer took it and scribbled a response before tugging his sleeve down. "Happy?" he nearly spit the word, irritated.
"Very. No more cutting Spence. Please?" Erik said quietly. "I'll help you out with the urges, I promise. If not for me do it for your mate"
Spencer shuffled and nodded awkwardly. "Okay."
Erik grinned. "Thank you." Erik hugged him and ruffled his unruly brown hair. "Now come on, mom wants to play Apples to Apples."
