Kimiko: This is for Eri-san (Pandakitty). I promised you I would write you a HeiShin. It's not really yaoi, more shounen-ai fluff, because I'm not too good at this yet. And it's probably OOC, too. But please enjoy!
Starlight in the Heavens
The pantheon of gods and goddesses of the world actually did rule effectively. When they were working together to keep the world as it should be, all was well. But sometimes, when the gods and goddesses were bickering over differences and personal issues in the heavens, the people on earth could usually tell. They would notice nature acting oddly, or even hear rumors of gods and goddesses descending to Earth to cause trouble for each other. The humans would get caught up in these events, and the troubles would then have a manifestation among the humans.
But right now, the gods and goddesses were behaving normally. Anyone who made a sacrifice to Takagi, the god of fortune and prophecy, would find that both earth and the heavens were in good standing. This was a rare type of day. It seemed like Ran, the goddess of the sun, was smiling brightly at everyone. So everyone went about their day happily, with little worry.
Though in the heavens, something interesting was about to happen…
The grand city of Edo, way up in the heavens where the gods and goddesses lived, was a beautiful place, full of gardens and palaces. It was home to almost all of the major deities and most of the minor ones. Right now, the sun goddess Ran was indeed in a very good mood. She had seen the sun on its right path that morning and knew that it would not encounter any clouds to block it. She would collect it at the end of the day when it was time to sleep, but right now, it reflected her own very positive mood.
She had just seen her mother, Eri the goddess of law and truth, and her father, Kogoro the god of celebration, enjoying time together. Apparently, on Earth, there was a serious injustice committed and Eri had been very helpful in stopping it. Now the people on Earth were giving thanks to Eri for her help and were thanking Kogoro for the celebration they were now having.
Those two might have seemed like an odd pair, but they had met each other in a similar situation and truly fell in love. Though they still argued because of their differences, Ran knew they deeply cared for each other.
But right now, she was off to see her friends: Sonoko the goddess of beauty and blossoms, and Kazuha the goddess of springtime. They all got along together well and had a lot in common. Ran skipped along the bright roads, humming to herself.
Suddenly she saw someone sitting glumly under a willow tree. Ran knew the deity was sad because she could feel the lack of sunlight and the presence of melancholy. She peeked her head among the long leafy tendrils, trying to identify whoever it was.
Her heart sank slightly. It was Shinichi. Everyone in the heavens felt somewhat bad for him. He was the only son of Yukiko, the goddess of creativity. She was bright, cheerful and brilliantly imaginative. Everyone had assumed her child would be similarly creative. Because of a vague divination by Takagi, they knew he would be a muse, one who gave inspiration to others. Yukiko herself was often called the Great Muse, sending inspiration in showers to people who prayed to her. So, all the gods and goddesses expected great things from her child.
But when her child was born, it was discovered that he was, quite simply, the muse of tragedy. He could inspire any unbelievably intricate or straightforwardly easy tragedy to come to a human's mind. The gods and goddesses were slightly disappointed and felt sorry for the boy's trouble. Shinichi was quite often depressed because of his powers.
Ran tried hard to literally and figuratively make him see the sunshine, but it was hard. She would never know what it was like to be him.
Thankfully however, Shinichi did have a friend: Heiji, the young god of safety and protection. It was only when Shinichi was with Heiji that he seemed to truly enjoy himself. Ran guessed that he thought Heiji cancelled out the negative parts of himself.
"Shinichi, are you okay?" she said. "You shouldn't just be sitting around if you're upset about something. You can talk to me if you want."
"Oh, Ran," Shinichi said absently. He got up and walked out from under the tree. "No, I don't feel upset or anything. I was just thinking about something,"
"Are you sure you're feeling okay?" Ran asked, wishing he would open up just a little more.
"I'm all right. I just need to think some stuff through." Shinichi hurried off before Ran was able to ask anything else.
He didn't need her asking how he was feeling. He had recently stumbled onto a fact that was confusing him. He needed to sort this out soon.
He thought he was in love with Heiji.
Shinichi sat on top of a high wall, thinking again. He wanted to get his thoughts in order before he saw Heiji again.
Yesterday, when he was with Heiji, they had been walking along the lava river. They had just been messing around, and Shinichi found himself dared to dive to the bottom of the river and fish out a fire-coral stone for his mother. At first, he figured it would be easy. To a god or a muse, the lava river only felt hot, but when the forges in the city were using the lava for crafting metals, the river flowed much quicker. Shinichi had assumed it was an off-day and dove to the bottom of the river to find a fire-coral stone. He found it after a few moments and tried to resurface when the river suddenly surged around him. He had attempted several times to get control of his movements, but the current was beginning to sweep him away, still under the surface of the lava.
Unable to breathe, he was about to give up and drown when Heiji pulled him out of the river. Shinichi had managed to cough all of the lava out of his lungs as Heiji sat nearby. He threw the stupid rock at Heiji and said he wasn't doing any more dumb dares. Heiji had chuckled and said he would see him again the next day, but they would do something less dangerous for a change.
Somehow, in that moment when he came out of the river, he saw Heiji's face as one belonging to a lifesaving angel. Shinichi had been wondering about all of yesterday and loosely asked his mother about the feeling he had. She said it was probably the feeling of being in love and tried to force him to tell her more, which he managed to avoid doing.
Love. Shinichi was in love with his best friend Heiji.
But he wasn't the right person for Heiji. After all, he was the unfortunate muse of tragedy while lucky, amazing, brilliant Heiji was the god of safety and protection. He was a nobody compared to Heiji.
And he thought that Heiji liked Kazuha, the gorgeous goddess of spring. They always bickered like a human couple, and many gods and goddesses believed they would marry each other someday.
If Heiji could have Kazuha, he definitely wouldn't want Shinichi.
He was fine just being Heiji's friend. He wanted his friend to be happy, even if he could never be happy also. That was the fate of the muse of tragedy, who only brought sadness, even to himself. He was sure that Takagi would agree.
Shinichi smiled sadly to himself. This was how he should think.
He jumped off the wall and headed for the place he always met with Heiji.
Heiji finally noticed Shinichi coming to the old building. He was waiting in the place they had found a while ago. It was maybe the only forgotten building in the heavens, and it seemed like a haunted house, but Heiji and Shinichi both thought it was cool and set up a fort there for imagining when they were younger.
Heiji remembered that Shinichi always seemed more creative than himself. He considered Shinichi to be just as much of a genius as himself, but Shinichi was a muse and only had the power he was born with. Unlike Heiji, he could not attain more divine power. This, added to the fact that his power was in inspiring tragedies, was the reason why other gods and goddesses looked down on him with pity. Heiji was always annoyed at such people.
He hadn't become Shinichi's friend out of pity, like some thought. He genuinely thought the muse was an interesting person. And now, he kept noticing how much more intriguing Shinichi was. There were little moments when he would feel so odd around him. It wasn't really a weird kind of odd, but a peculiar kind. He had never felt these feelings before, but he couldn't really ask his dad about it. Heizou, the god of the earth and agriculture, was busy now with work on Earth with Otaki, the god of forests and the hunt. And it was hard trying to talk to anyone else. Besides, Heiji always had a hard time talking about how he felt. It always came out differently than he was intending.
He finished thinking of these things as his friend came up to him. "Hey, Shinichi! I have a great idea for today," he began. He was usually the one thinking up the day's activities. "I heard that Yamato is actually in Edo today. I bet he has some cool stuff to show up again!"
Shinichi's face actually lit up at this and Heiji felt something change slightly inside his chest. It was probably that he was glad he had lifted Shinichi's spirits, right? It didn't matter. Heiji led the way through the city with Shinichi following closely behind. They ran though the beautiful mazelike streets until they came to a darker-colored building that looked like a villa. This was the place where Yamato, the super-cool god of traveling. He often spent a lot of time on Earth and always came back with cool stories.
They knocked expectantly at his door, but no one answered. Heiji's shoulders slumped. He had no idea where else the god would be. He was afraid to look at Shinichi's disappointment. He had wanted him to be happy so much. And now it was ruined.
Well, maybe not. There was still a whole lot more they could do.
He turned to face Shinichi to speak to him, but suddenly forgot what he was about to say. Shinichi was leaning against a column, half in the sunlight and half in the shadows. He was looking distantly to the side. His eyelids were lowered and his mouth was just barely open. Heiji stared at him for a few moments. He never realized Shinichi looked so—attractive.
Was this what he had been noticing?
Heiji was almost about to act upon impulse, but he stopped himself. What if Shinichi didn't feel the same way? It had taken years to get the muse to begin to open up to him. He didn't want to ruin it all. He wanted Shinichi to stay happy. With effort, Heiji repressed the desire that had unconsciously built up inside him.
He finally remembered what he was going to say and led Shinichi to another fun place in the city: the storm basin. Here was the place where different gods and goddesses could make their frustrations manifest as storm clouds. The storms would stick to each other and grow until the guard of the basin remembered to let them go across the face of the earth. Shinichi and Heiji liked to watch the clouds and guess whose frustration it was.
But this time, as they neared the basin, they saw Vermouth, the mysterious goddess of love, coming towards them. The god and muse stopped. This goddess always liked to mess with others, both human and divinity.
Shinichi frowned and moved aside to let her pass. But Heiji somehow lost his focus for a moment. He zoned out, staring at the ground. Once he recovered, he would know it was one of Vermouth's tricks. She could make all the thoughts in someone's mind suddenly leave when she was planting an idea in their head.
As she passed, she stopped and whispered into Heiji's ear. "The muse likes you too, Heiji. And I mean in a romantic way. You should do something." Before Heiji could begin to get his mind working again, she was gone.
Except now, the goddess had set a seed of passion in his mind. He still had his feelings, but now he had a stronger desire to act them out. And she said Shinichi loved him too?
Heiji followed Shinichi down to the storm basin and they sat down at the edge to the deep crater. He was somewhat surprised when a fog-like vapor lifted itself from the muse. The two were quiet as they watched it join the rest of the storm. It wasn't unusual for Shinichi to let go of a frustration here, but they were usually clouds, holding his frustration at himself. But this one was different.
Heiji could almost feel the frustration in this fog. It felt less like resentment at personal failure and more like depression from something he found out. But what could Shinichi be upset over? Was from it what Vermouth had mentioned? Or was this an effect of Vermouth's weird power? Normally he would be angry over the goddess playing with him, but he was still intrigued at the possibility she had opened.
He wanted to think through everything so he wouldn't make a mistake.
If Shinichi was in love with him, and if he did feel frustrated from something related to this love, then…
…was he misunderstanding something? Heiji himself had worried about ruining a friendship. Maybe Shinichi was worried about the same thing. Well, there was one way to find out.
"Uh, Shinichi?"
"Yeah?"
"I want to ask—no, I mean tell you something,"
"What?"
"I…"
Suddenly this was all a lot harder than it seemed a few moments ago. But the drive that Vermouth had planted was forcing him to speak, even as he began to stumble on his words and turn red.
"I like you, Shinichi."
Shinichi froze. Heiji knew he was probably trying to make sense of this and quickly added.
"I—I love you, Shinichi. More than a friend. I want to be closer to you, if it's okay with you."
Shinichi trembled and he exhaled quickly. He got up in an attempt to escape, but Heiji knew his heart would break if Shinichi left now. He grabbed his friend's wrists and pulled him back down, closer this time. Shinichi was forced to look at Heiji in the face.
Neither could turn away. Shinichi's eyes were full of confusion, fear, and what Heiji faintly believed was hope. Heiji's eyes were full of a plea for an answer to his statement.
After what felt like an eternity, Shinichi's eyes filled with tears. He laid his head onto Heiji's shoulder. Heiji released his wrists and embraced Shinichi gently.
"I love you too."
The young god and the muse had sat at the storm basin for several long moments, comforting each other. Heiji's heart began to race. This confession was the proof that they both deeply cared for each other. Shinichi loved him as much as Heiji loved Shinichi.
He abruptly decided that he needed to relieve the intense emotion of this moment. He wanted to make Shinichi smile, a difficult thing to do under normal circumstances.
But what could he do?
Heiji got up and Shinichi slowly followed him. He began walking towards the heart of the city. But it was closer to evening now. And apparently all the gods, goddesses, spirits and whatever had decided it was time to begin an enormous celebration. Heiji knew Shinichi didn't like these things, because they would make him self-conscious.
Though, as he walked through the city, he was stopped almost every three meters by someone else asking him to come and join their own party. Each invitation was the same:
"Oh,Heiji! Come on in and enjoy yourself!"
"Can Shinichi come too?"
"Um, I'm sure he'd rather be somewhere else. And the muse of tragedy wouldn't be all that great at a party, you know?"
"No thanks. I'm going somewhere else."
This was getting irritating. Why did they dislike Shinichi so much? There was nothing wrong with him. He was an amazing, good-looking, smart, creative muse. Shinichi was getting depressed by each invitation.
"Heiji, you can go on if you want. You don't have to turn down their invitations on my account."
"No," Heiji snapped. "They're all bastards. They don't realize how cool you are."
"I'm not wanted."
Heiji glared at him. "Yes you are. I want you. I want you to have fun. I want to have that fun with you."
He stormed on, now ignoring all the requests he got.
"Um, Heiji. I was wondering about something. I thought you liked Kazuha."
Heiji stopped. Kazuha? No, she was just a good friend. "I don't. I like you." He faced Shinichi again. "I told you I did, didn't I?"
"Well, yeah, you did," Shinichi mumbled. Heiji started dragging him through the city. Wasn't there any place where he could be with Shinichi without interruption? He ran through the list of possible places in his mind.
His house? No, it didn't seem right. And Shinichi's house would be full of Yukiko's friends.
What about a fountain? No, they seemed too open.
Then…a garden?
Suddenly Heiji had an idea. He looked up at the sky. Perfect. It would be dark in a few minutes. He held Shinichi's hand tightly and ran with him through the last streets to the edge of the city. There was the garden he was looking for. He didn't see Shinichi's confused expression as he pulled him deep into the organized hedge rows.
He sat down and pulled Shinichi down too. "What are you doing?" Shinichi asked.
"Shh, just wait."
They sat in silence for a minute as the last rays from the sun disappeared from the sky. It was almost pitch black. Then, after a few seconds of darkness, the bushes around them lit up with twinkling silver light. Shinichi's surprised eyes reflected them.
"What is this?"
"They're called star bushes. Not real stars, but pretty close. Girls like to use them to decorate. But tonight," Heiji said softly. "They're glowing just for us."
He watched Shinichi gaze at the miniature stars for a while, then the muse relaxed and leaned his head against Heiji's body. He closed his bright blue eyes and smiled a true smile.
"Thanks, Heiji."
"I love you, Shinichi." Heiji tilted his head and kissed Shinichi, softly at first, but the poison-like passion running though his body from Vermouth's influence soon took over. But for this night, Shinichi was glad to follow wherever Heiji led him. Here, in this garden of heavenly starlight, he decided that even a muse of tragedy could love.
Kimiko: I hope it wasn't rushed or anything. I enjoyed it as I wrote this. But it took a while. I felt like I was abandoning my two other ongoing fics. Well, if you like HeiShin, then tell me if this was any good. And I might think up another one.
