AN: Heyyyyyy. Here's my fic numbah 5, my one shot numbah 2, and my crazy idea inspired by crazy events numbah...well, i can't count that high. Anyhoo, inspired by my insanely humilating PE class today. I'm sure Rukia would understand my pain XDDDD Full of excessive commas as only a piece written by an American can :hides from English teacher:
Disclaimer: I dun own Bleach, i dun own Ichigo, i dun own Rukia, i thank god i dun own hurdling. Whoever came up with that idea should die and be reincarnated as a dwarf. Let's see how he feels jumping over those immensely and ridiculously tall things THEN.
"Ichigo…what is this
"Ichigo…what is this?"
"It's a hurdle."
"What? Do they expect us to throw this thing? You humans have strange customs." Rukia put both arms around the hurdle and attempted to pick it up. Ichigo sighed and took it from her hand.
"No, Rukia. They expect us to jump over it."
"WHAT?!"
Seeing the dismay on her face, Ichigo grinned and ran toward the obstacle at an easy pace and lithely jumped over. "See, it's not as hard as you think. It should be easy for you. You ARE a shinigami--oof." He doubled up as Rukia withdrew her fist.
"I am NOT a shinigami. I'm a shinigami stuck in a GIGAI. Do you have any idea how much that limits my abilities? If I was out of this pathetic human shell, I would jump over it AND you. Unfortunately, YOU TOOK ALL MY POWERS, REMEMBER?!"
"Just try it."
"No."
"Why?"
"Because."
"You're scared aren't you."
"No!" She spluttered at him.
"Yes you are."
"No!! I'm careful!! I want to live so I can kick your ass when I want to! It's kind of hard to do that kind of thing when you're dead."
"Ha! You're scared! I knew it!"
Rukia shoved her elbow up into his stomach and growled, "No, I'm not so shut up, already. I'll do it, if that's what you want, ok? Che."
Glaring zanpakutōs at the trembling hurdle (of course, hurdles don't tremble, but the author leaning back in her chair, sucking the last dredges of her juice from the box doesn't really give a damn, so…), she backed up until her back was to the fence. Saying a prayer, she charged toward the hurdle as fast as her pathetic human shell would allow her. She jumped into the air and pinwheeled her arms, desperately clinging to the air, but before she could make it across, the laws of gravity applied and she banged her leg onto the bar, dropping back to earth with a thud. And then she was still.
"Oh, damn." Ichigo rushed over, afraid of what he might find.
"OW!! SHIT!! OW!!" Her black hair lying around her, Rukia was sprawled on the field, holding her shin. "ICHIGO!! OW!! DAMN YOU!! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!"
He sighed in relief, "Oh…ok. You're okay."
"I AM NOT OKAY!! YOU BROKE MY LEG!!"
"Rukia. I didn't break your leg. You broke your leg. Or the bar broke your leg. I don't even think your leg is broken. All you have is a bruise." He felt her leg gently and poked the growing, blue mass on her leg. "See. No harm done."
"No harm done!! My leg is changing colors!! I'm a CHAMELEON!"
"It's just a bruise! Your fine!! You only clipped the bar, you know. You could've made it if you lifted your left leg a bit higher. Go ahead. Try it again."
Folding her arms, Rukia sat on the floor obstinately. "No."
"Aw, come on."
"The thing's taller than me."
"Hey, if I can do it, you can do it!" Ichigo stepped back quickly as Rukia got up and grabbed him. Dragging him to the offending object, she gestured toward the hurdle.
"Look. This hurdle is up your thigh. You can STEP over it." She gestured toward herself. "The hurdle is almost TALLER THAN ME. Do you see a difference there? Because I see a difference here. I'm sure there's a difference there, don't you? I FELT the difference there, but because you can't sympathize with vertically impaired people like me, YOU can't feel the difference there."
"Hey, wait! It's not my fault you're a midget."
"Oh! So we're into names now, are we? PUMPKIN HEAD!!"
He glared at her, "That's it. I've HAD IT!" Grabbing her, he carried her back to the fence (who was oblivious to the tension in the air as only an inanimate object can be). "You are going to jump over that thing, or—or—I won't let you sleep in my closet."
…
…
…
…
"Okay, fine. You can still sleep in my closet. Just…just jump over the damn thing, alright?"
He was pleading with her. She had never had anyone plead with her to before. It was…well…nice, In a Bwahaha!-I-have-so-much-corruptible-power-over-you kind of way. And so what else could she do but turn without a word, and press herself against the fence, ready to jump into the maws of death. Receiving an encouraging nod from Ichigo, she dashed toward the looming hurdle. As it got closer, Rukia squeezed her eyes tightly together and leapt into the air. After an eternity of suspension over the planet Earth, she plummeted back from space, and landed neatly on her feet. For a moment, she kept still. Then, tentatively opening her eyes, she saw Ichigo grinning down at her. A bubble of excitement burst out of her and she whooped, "OH!! I MADE IT!! I DID IT!! I JUMPED TOKYO TOWER!! I AM SO SUPERMAN!! I AM SO SUPERMAN THAT I OWNED SUPERMAN'S ASS!!" (Interruption while Bleach characters maul author for OOC-ness while author cries plaintively, "Ahhh!! It's not my fault!! The purple hollow in the room made me do it!!")
"See, I told you. Even a midget like you could do this."
"Ahem. That's SUPERmidget to you, papaya face." Laughing, she danced around and jumped up to hug Ichigo tightly. "THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!"
Untangling herself from him, he said, "Don't thank me yet. You still have 4 more to jump."
"…wait, WHAT!!"
Do I even need to remind you? REVIEW!! Flames are not welcome in Beijing, it's too damn hot anyways.
QUOTE OF THE FIC: "BWAJAJAJAJAJAJA!!"
