The Lives We Lead

She goes not because she wants to talk, but because she doesn't. She goes because she knows she won't have to say anything, she knows Kira will understand. And she goes because she needs to, she needs someone, and it's better than lying awake in her quarters in the dark with her mind dwelling on everything.

Kira answers the chime immediately, like she expected this (and Dax figures she probably did). She doesn't say anything, doesn't smile kindly and pull Dax in for a hug or anything like that, because she knows this is about Dax and Dax has to set the rules. So she waits and for that Dax is grateful.

Dax paces the room, trying to decide what to do, what to say – if she even wants to say or do anything at all. Eventually she stops and sits beside Kira, leaning into the other woman, relishing the strength of Kira's arms as they wrap around her. And as they sit there in silence holding each other, Dax recognizes that this is what she needed.

There is nothing anyone can do or say that will take the pain away. She knows, has always known, that no matter how many lifetimes she lives, it will never get easier.

And she knows it never should.