Surprise! I was cleaning out documents on my computer and found the original idea for Adversity. I read over it and decided to make it a one-shot. I'm honestly glad that I decided to use my current idea for Adversity instead of this one. I still like this idea, but it has much more angst. Anyways, for those of you who are interested, here it is! Sorry if there aren't that many details; I had to figure out how to condense this whole thing into just one chapter.
Letters
Mulan and Shang were two completely different people. There had been whispers around villages ever since he had returned 'her' helmet. Still, they chose to ignore those who said that he deserved a traditional wife, and those who said that she'd brought dishonor to her family.
Three months went by and they hadn't seen each other. Yet, each day they were apart, they fell more in love with one another. When they were called back to Wu Zhong to train recruits, it was Shang who was finally able to say the three words they'd both been repeating in their heads since they last saw each other.
One night in particular, af0ter training was done for the day, Shang called Mulan into the tent. She was pleased, actually. They hadn't had time to talk lately and she had been dying to tell him her ideas for training. However, when she stepped inside of the tent, he looked more nervous than serious.
"Mulan," he said, his expression unreadable, "We need to talk about something."
She was beyond confused. 'What could this even be about?' The usual map of the camp was tucked away in a drawer, which only made her doubt that this was anything about training. It was ironic; she was able to figure out how to destroy a Hun army with a single canon, but she knew that she'd never be able to solve the puzzle that was Li Shang.
Shang felt like a scared little boy. Though he'd never admit it to her, she made him more nervous than an entire army. Yet, in front of recruits, he stood with such confidence. He wished desperately that he could have the same confidence around her as he did around his trainees.
"Shang, what is going on? Has something happened?"
"No, n-no. Not at all." Shit. He cursed himself; how come he was never articulate around her? The answer came to him quicker than he thought it would: 'Your love for her puts you at a loss for words.'
"It's just..." He continued, searching for the right words to say. "Training ends in two days."
"And?"
"Well... Once training is over, I don't want to go through the torture of not seeing you for so long once again."
"You're not going to, though." She smiled reassuringly at him, gently taking his hand. "I expect that we'll see each other more often."
"More often isn't exactly what I meant." He said, looking her straight in the eyes and quickly finding himself lost in them.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean..." He took a deep breath. "What I mean is, I d-don't just want to see you more often, Mulan. I want to see you always. All the time. Forever."
She smiled at him sweetly, not knowing what to say. She opened her mouth, but he quickly hushed her.
"Fa Mulan, I want to marry you. I want you to be the last person I see each night. I want to be able to wake up next to you each morning. I mean, you already know that I love you. The Gods know that I'll never stop loving you. I'd like to make it official. I'd be so grateful if you would too."
Her hands were covering her mouth, but that wasn't able to his the tears of joy in her eyes. She didn't answer, instead throwing herself into an embrace with him. She wiped her tears on his shirt and nodded.
"Yes, Shang. Of course."
They were wed a month and two days later.
After the beautiful ceremony, during which both of them were surrounded by friends and loved ones, he walked with her into their new home. Their home.
Their wedding night was traditional, the two expressing their love for one another in a completely new way. After they had finished all of their 'festivities,' they laid next to one another in the bed. Shang was holding her close to him, giving her forehead gentle kisses until she fell asleep. Once she had, he smiled and whispered to her.
"I love you, my beautiful bride."
She smiled in her sleep when he said that to her, and they were finally able to sleep peacefully that night.
Another two months went by. China had been at peace since Mulan and Shang had been able to take down Shan Yu alongside one another. It was devastating to both of them when Shang was called to duty. In a letter from the Emperor, he was told to report to camp in two days. The letter stated that she was, of course, welcome to join him.
"Good. In that case, I'm going with you." She said, when he had finished reading the letter about to her.
"Wait, Mulan, hold on." He stopped her. "Think about it for a moment."
"Do you not want me to go?" She asked him, almost daring him to say he'd want her to stay home.
Unluckily for him, he fell into that trap rather easily.
"Mulan, it's just... I don't want to lose you. You could get hurt. I don't want anything to happen to you. I'd rather you stay here where it's safe." She rolled her eyes, obviously frustrated with him.
"Shang, you could get hurt, too. Everyone there can get hurt. And do you think that I want to lose you to this war? If it were up to me, we'd both stay at home where it's safe."
"Well, we can't, Mulan." He snapped. Immediately feeling remorse, he walked over to her with a frown. "I'm sorry. I'm just... Mulan, I'd be so worried if you went along. It's obvious you'd be a target."
"Well, so will you! You're the general!" She yelled.
"Why must you be so stubborn? I just want to protect you!"
"I don't need you to protect me!" The anger in her eyes was now completely evident. "I can protect myself and you know that!"
"I don't want to take a risk, Mulan! I'd die if you went out there and just got hurt!"
"Well there's no guarantee that you will survive either! You're acting like I won't be worried about you as well!" She started tearing up, though she continued. "This is exactly what I was afraid of when I married you."
"What?!" He asked, astonished.
"I was afraid that you'd try to constrain me, Shang! I thought you would let me at least continue the career I enjoy! I thought you'd want me to be beside you, even during times of war! To fight as a team like we did the first time!"
"I'm perfectly fine with constraining you as long as you're safe." He winced as he repeated that in his head. 'Wrong words.'
"You're perfectly fine with constraining me?!" She asked him. It was as though he'd lit a fuse with that short sentence, and she was about to explode. "Maybe if you're so okay with it, then you should have married a more obedient wife, then!"
The argument continued for hours. All of the passion they had for one another was being channeled into rage. They had both ended up exchanging words that only hurt the other. If they had both stopped to think, they would have realized that they were only arguing because they loved each other too much to let the other go to war.
However, neither realized it in time.
That evening, after they had started to refuse to talk to one another and couldn't even look the other in the eye, Shang packed up his bags. He packed everything he would need for battle as quickly as possible, hoping to get out of the house as soon as possible to avoid another argument. He turned to her for the last time before leaving. He had a cold look in his eyes, but he still kissed her on the forehead. However, even the smallest form of affection felt empty. When she would normally swoon from a kiss from him, she instead felt nothing. To her, it felt as if he was only saying goodbye because she was his wife and he'd felt obligated.
"Goodbye, Mulan. I'll be back when the war is won."
With that, he mounted his horse and left the property.
"Goodbye." She whispered back to him, more tears forming in her eyes.
That was the first night either of them had spent alone since their marriage. Though they were apart, they were both noticing how empty their beds felt. They were realizing how much better it is to sleep with someone in your arms.
They both cried themselves to sleep that night, separated by miles of land.
Over the course of the next three weeks, she had sent him numerous letters. The first few mostly consisted of the words, "I'm sorry." However, as the days passed, they started to turn into, "Are you okay? Why aren't you replying?"
The last night of the third week without Shang in the house, she had decided to write a letter just before going to sleep. She had been feeling rather nauseous since he'd gone; she knew that she would miss him dearly, but she had no idea that it would have such a physical effect. As she was reaching for a new bottle of ink from atop her dresser, she looked down at her stomach, which had a newly forming bulge on it. She gasped and dropped the glass vial of ink, the liquid spilling out onto the floor.
More time went by. As Mulan's longing to be with Shang grew, so did her stomach. She found it quite annoying, how she couldn't do things like ride Khan or harvest crops without feeling overly exhausted. She visited her family, who thankfully lived only a village over from her's, every couple of days. She did not tell them about the fight she had with Shang.
Three months into her pregnancy, with still no sign of Shang, she got a knock on the door. She got up slowly, cursing whoever it was who decided to bother her. She opened the door and saw a large soldier standing in front of her. He was tall and handsome, but not close to as tall and handsome as Shang was. As soon as she greeted him, he started to explain that she needed to arrive at the battlefield immediately.
"Summoned to the battlegrounds?" She asked, confused, "You must be mistaken. I've been pregnant for months, now, I can't fight."
"It... It isn't about fighting, Miss." Said the man. Her mind immediately shifted gears.
"Shang." She whispered. The man nodded. "Is he okay?" She asked frantically. "He isn't..." She didn't dare finish her sentence.
"He's wounded," he answered. "He's been asking for you."
"Excuse me," said Mulan, rushing to her bedroom in a fit of worry. She picked up the first outfit at she saw and stuffed them into a bag. She returned to the soldier in minutes.
"What are we waiting for? He needs me. Let's go."
It took five hours to get to Shang and the rest of his army. With each second, Mulan got more fearful and worried.
When she and the soldier finally arrived, there were multiple tents set up. It was clear that the Chinese had won the battle; the battlegrounds were deserted of anyone other than Chinese soldiers. She looked around frantically for the medic tent, finally finding a tent marked with a red circle, similar to the one she had stayed in briefly.
She barged inside in a hurry, only to recoil at the sight before her. There was a large gash on her husband's chest. The gash had been covered with bandages, though his blood was showing through them.
He looked sickly as he slept. Beads of sweat were visible on his features and his skin was paler than she'd ever seen it.
"Shang..." She said, walking over to him quietly.
He immediately woke up to the sound of her voice. "Mulan?"
She nodded, crouching next to his bed. "I'm here; Shang, don't worry." She took his hand and frowned.
"I missed you, Mulan, I missed you and I'm sorry."
"I've missed you, too, Shang. And I'm just as sorry." He shook his head.
"Please don't be sorry. I started it, you shouldn't be sorry."
"Don't be silly Shang," she said, a lump forming in her throat. "We're both at fault." There was a moment of silence as he squeezed her hand. She sniffled and smiled sadly at him.
"Are you okay?"
He shook his head. "A bastard with a knife was able to cut up my chest."
She tried to laugh, however she ended up letting out a strangled sob instead. He frowned, a look of concern growing accords his features.
"Please don't cry, Mulan. Please." He stressed this, bringing her hand closer to his face and kissing it.
"I'll be okay. I'm sure that I'll be okay. I just... I wanted to see you again."
She smiled through her tears at him, kissing his forehead in return."I'm going to leave you to sleep, Shang. You need rest."
He nodded, letting go of her hand. "Sleep in my tent for the night."
She smiled at him and turned to exit.
"Wait, Mulan." He called.
She turned around a concerned expression on her face."What is it, do you need anything?"
He shook his head. "I love you."
She had to restrain herself from jumping into his arms. "I love you too." She walked out of the tent and left him to himself.
He was obviously too oblivious to notice her bulging stomach at the time. She was thankful for this; she felt as though her pregnancy would be too much of a shock for him considering his current state. She walked through the battlefield, admiring the scenery around it. Though it was a battleground, the landscape was quite picturesque, containing mountains, a lake, and a wide open field. She the realized that she had no idea where Shang's tent was. She looked around for a familiar face until her gaze settled on three men. She headed over to them, trying her hardest to wipe away her tears before she got to them.
However, when she saw her three friends, they all had the same somber expression as she did.
"Mulan," Yao spoke up. "How are you, are you okay?"
It was strange to her that these three men would end up being three of her best friends. When they'd first met, all three of them had strongly disliked her and didn't mind keeping it a secret. She thought it was ironic how those three had proven themselves to be very understanding and rather decent. She nodded, but smiled just a bit as the three of them pulled her in for a massive group hug.
As they let go of her, Ling noticed how different she looked.
"Mulan, are you...?" He asked, indicating her stomach by glancing at it. She laughed and nodded.
"For three months, so far." All three of them congratulated her with smiles on their faces; the first smiles they've had in weeks.
"Does the general know?" Chien-Po asked her.
"He doesn't. I found out a few weeks after he left. But I'm going to refrain from telling him for now."
"Yeah, if he doesn't notice, first." Ling said jokingly. Mulan smiled and punched his arm lightly.
Mulan was very happy to have friends like them. She found it so easy to talk to them, and the four could all sympathize with each other. However, even in times as hard as this, they were able to offer support to one another with gentle jokes and teasing, which Mulan personally enjoyed more than the four of them moping and crying.
They talked for hours, until the moon indicated that the day was over. Mulan excused herself and got up before remembering why she had sought them out in the first place.
"Guys," She started, "Could you show me where Shang's tent is?"
They nodded and pointed over to it. She thanked them and headed inside, bidding them all a good night.
Mulan laughed slightly as she walked in and saw that his bed was made neatly. However, there were scrolls everywhere.
'Strange,' She thought, shaking her head. 'He's certainly an enigma.' She made her way to the bed before stopping, noticing that one of the many scrolls had her name written on it. She knew that she shouldn't be meddling, but she couldn't help herself when she walked over and unrolled the scroll.
Mulan,
This must be the third or fourth letter I've written you. As soon as a messenger is able to come to the camp, I'll tell him to deliver all of these to you. Once again, I'm so sorry for everything that happened before I left. It's been horribly lonely here and I can't stand not having you with me. I miss you very much. I don't know if you'll ever get this, judging by how long it's taking to get a messenger down here, but if you do, know that I love you more than life itself, and that I miss you so much.
So, so sorry,
Shang
She couldn't help but smile. 'So he had tried to write.' She instantly gave herself a mental punch in the gut for doubting him. Although, if there was no messenger, then he must have not gotten her letters. She rolled her eyes as she thought that her letters were probably just at the bottom of some messenger's bag. She picked up another one of the scrolls and unrolled it.
My beautiful wife,
The time here has been horribly boring without you. I love you and I miss you and I'm so sorry. I understand if you don't want to forgive me, but I still want you to know that I love you. I'll always love you and I'll always be sorry for fighting with you. It's all my fault, and I'm sorry. I'll be sending this message as soon as possible, so you can hopefully get it quickly. I miss you and I wish you could be here. I was so wrong to tell you to stay home, even though I know you're safe there. I realize where I went wrong, and how I should respect your choices when it comes to serving in the army. If you could ever forgive me, I'd be so thankful.
I love you, and I'm sorry,
Shang
She couldn't help but cry now. The messages kept coming and coming. She was able to put them all in order, ranging from when he arrived to when the battle started. The last one made her go to his bed and bawl, quietly weeping herself to sleep afterwards.
My sweet Mulan,
We've arrived at the battlegrounds. I know you won't get this before the battle is over, but if anything should happen to me, I have a few things to say.
I'm so sorry for leaving you early. I should have realized that that might have been the last time we'd ever see each other again. I love you more than anything in the world. Even if I don't make it through this war, I'll still love you dearly and watch over you until the moment you come to join me. I want you to always stay safe. If you are ever targeted or threatened and I'm not there for you, I want you to stay safe instead of being stubborn and accepting a challenge. I'd go insane if anything happened to you; you are the most important thing in my life. Finally, I'd like to thank you. Thank you so much for putting up with me, even when I would be stupid. Thank you for always being there for me, and giving me a reason to live. Thank you for letting me love you and letting us have a life together. More importantly, thank you for being the best thing that has ever happened to me during my lifetime.
I love you more than you'll ever know,
Shang
She woke up tired the next morning, tear stains all over her face. She looked around, trying to remember where she was. When she realized she was in Shang's tent, she bolted out of bed and ran to the medic's tent, not caring that she wasn't dressed or that her hair was all over the place. She opened the flaps and Shang resting, a bowl of soup on a table next to him. He was already looking better than he was the day before, the color back in his skin and his bandages changed. She was taken aback, however, when she saw his surprised expression. She then looked down and swore to herself. "Damn it."
Shang tried getting up, but instead she walked over to him and told him to lay down once again.
"Mulan," He started, "I-Is that- Are... Are you...?" She nodded, smiling slightly as she did.
He sat up, an overjoyed expression on his face, and wrapped his arms around her, holding her as tight as he could.
"I love you, Mulan." He said, stressing it as much as he could. He kissed her temple and let go of her.
"Can I...?" He asked, moving his hand towards her stomach. She laughed and nodded, and he let his hand rest over the baby. He smiled at her and started to tear up. She'd never seen him cry before. Not even when his father died. But he was crying joyful tears, now. They embraced once more before kissing passionately.
Shang recovered rather quickly. He was able to leave the medic's tent after a week of staying there. The second he was allowed, he and Mulan headed home.
Six months later, Mulan and Shang were in bed together, just about to fall asleep, when she felt a sharp pain in her stomach. She was told that the baby would be coming any day; she just wished it could wait until the morning. So, they packed up a few things in case they'd have to stay overnight, and rushed to a nurse in the village.
16 painful hours later, a baby boy was born.
'And they said I couldn't bear sons.' Mulan thought, exhausted. The midwife handed her the baby, and she suddenly felt all of her fatigue vanish. She held him as the midwife called Shang in, who was sleeping outside of the room.
He woke with a start, worried that something had happened to Mulan during childbirth. However, he was relieved to see that she and the baby were safe and healthy. He embraced her, holding her close to him. She smiled and handed him their son, who had already stopped crying and was staring up at him with the same dark eyes as his mother. Shang kissed the baby's head before looking at Mulan, who he also kissed on the forehead.
"I love you, Mulan." When she didn't reply, he looked at her and realized she had fallen asleep. He smiled and sat down with the baby, who he had nicknamed Li Ping.
A/N: Whew, okay. Sorry about the pace of this story, but I had originally planned for it to be twenty chapters or so. I guess I didn't use this idea because it would have been dragged out for too long. Not to mention, it's not as warm-hearted as Adversity. Anyways, if you liked it or not, please review it! Thanks so much for checking this out!~
