Harm placed his arm across the back of the sofa looking around the room at everyone who was gathered in Bud and Harriet's house, having individual conversations with one another while AJ played in the middle of the room. It had been a great Christmas Eve; escorting Toys for Tots, giving his wings to a new naval aviator at the wall with Admiral Boone, and then coming to Bud and Harriet's to be with all the people he cared about, including one person in particular who was sitting next to him, and whose brown eyes had lit up more than usual when he had walked in the door an hour and forty-five minutes ago. He glanced at Mac, whose eyes shifted from the adorable little boy playing on the floor a few feet in front of her, to where her hands were twisting nervously in her lap. She let out a long sigh and Harm nudged her far shoulder with his fingers before returning them to the back of the couch. In his dreams, he'd pull her closer to him and never let go, but in reality, he kept his touching to a minimum. They were never ready for a relationship at the same time, it seemed.
Mac slowly looked up at him and when he saw that her mood wasn't a happy one, his face fell in concern. He quickly tried to cheer her up.
"What's wrong, Mac? Aren't you glad I made it back?" He grinned in a teasing tone, letting her know that he'd noticed her glances at him across the dinner table earlier.
She chuckled. "Of course I'm glad."
"Then what's wrong?"
She shrugged.
"C'mon, it's a good day. I made it back safely, we're all here together, you got to see a baby be delivered today and Bud and Harriet are pregnant again. Plus…it's Christmas Eve. What's there to be down about?"
Mac looked at him for a minute before lowering her gaze. But what he saw in her face and eyes in that moment she looked him in the eyes, told him everything he needed to know.
"It's about the babies…Isn't it?" Harm guessed in a whisper.
"How did you know?"
"I know you very well," Harm explained.
Mac sighed again with a small nod before continuing quietly so no one would overhear. "Waiting for you to get back today, I realized how short my life is. How quickly everything can change. I let my mind wander to what I would do if I ever lost you and…I just…I couldn't come up with an answer, Harm. I couldn't. In the back of my mind, I guess I've always relied on you to always be here, no matter what. I've always had you to lean on. I've always had our deal. I've always relied on whatever this is that we have, to comfort me and bring me hope for the future, even when things got rough. You promised to give me what I want and need when no one else would. But our deal doesn't come up for a little over a year."
"What are you saying?"
"Harm, I'm not getting any younger here. What if it is too long? What if it's too late or will be too risky?"
"We agreed on five years, Mac. Why would you agree if you thought that was too long?"
"I don't know," Mac admitted with a defensive edge to her voice. Then she stood up. "Just forget I said anything. It was stupid."
She hurried out of the room and to the kitchen where she could be alone. She knew as she took deep breaths and tried to stop crying that she had overstepped and probably caused a huge complication where Harm was concerned. The fact that she had messed everything up, made her unusually upset and she began to silently sob, her shoulders shaking violently. She heard someone open a cabinet and water running in the sink before she felt a warm hand slide gently over her back. When she had calmed down enough to open her eyes she saw Harm standing there with a concerned look on his face and a glass of water that he was extending her direction. After she drank a few sips, he grabbed her firmly by the elbow and directed her to a kitchen chair before sitting next to her.
"Mac, are you saying you want to be pregnant?" Harm asked after a few minutes of silence and Mac's hiccuping. "Do you want to have a baby?"
"I always have wanted to, Harm," Mac said lamely.
"You know that's not-…I meant now. Do you want a baby now?"
She heard the fear and excitement that was wrapped up in his voice. She slowly looked down and refused to answer. Harm sighed and leaned toward her, his elbows resting on his knees as he placed his hands on hers, where they sat in her lap.
"Mac, I'm going to say something and I want you to listen to me, which I don't think will be a problem since you aren't talking anyway. I think you know how I feel about you. But I think maybe you want me to say it anyway so I'm going to step out on a limb here and hope it doesn't break. Mac, I love you."
Her head jerked up and her eyes met his in surprise that the words had finally found their way out of his mouth.
"If…" Harm continued, "…you want a baby then I want to be the one to give it to you. Whenever you want it…."
"But what about the deal?"
"What about it? Forget the deal. This is now, Mac. I wasn't ready then, but I am now. I'm just waiting for you to be. Four years ago, I didn't know if we'd ever get to that and it sounded far away and safe. But I never realized quite how far away it was and how much I was risking losing you to some dumbass guy like Mic Brumby."
Mac couldn't help but chuckle at that. But her eyes were filled with tears. "Harm, do you mean it?"
"Yes. I love you Sarah MacKenzie. I don't want you to share your life with anyone but me. I know I don't in anyway deserve you, but I know that I love you. And when you're ready to have a baby, I'm gonna be here."
"Harm, I love you."
Harm smiled and they leaned toward each other, their lips meeting in a sweet, promising kiss. When they pulled back, her brown eyes stared into his blue ones.
"Did you really mean what you said about a baby?"
"Yes."
She smiled brightly. "You have no idea how afraid I was that you wouldn't want to. I was considering other options…"
Harm shook his head, pressing his lips to her forehead. "We're going to do this the natural way. You and me, okay?"
She nodded. "You and me."
"Mac, will you marry me? Will you have a family with me? Will you love me for the rest of our lives?"
"I will. Yes, Harm, I will," Mac grinned, hugging him tightly as she kissed him.
When they pulled apart, Harm flashed his flyboy grin her way. "I can easily say this is my favorite Christmas yet."
"And we're just getting started," Mac smiled.
"I love the sound of that."
