A/N: Man, do I have a thing for Joshua Jackson. I loved him in Dawson's Creek growing up and I currently love him on The Affair (and I just saw the preview for Season 3, hence my motivation to write something Josh Jackson-related). Since there is no fanfiction about The Affair, I decided to go back to my adolescence instead, back when I used to fantasize about Pacey Witter.
I liked Pacey and Joey (at least in Season 3), but I LOVED Pacey and Andie in Season 2 (before they assassinated her character, that is). So I'm going to try to fill in a specific blank from between two of my favorite Pacey/Andie episodes.
Scenario #1
Pacey POV:
Pacey let out a shaky exhale as he held his girlfriend's hand on the way to his dad's squad car. He was just so relieved. It was calming to be out of that room, to be outside in the fresh air. Back in the B&B, Andie told him she wasn't sure, she wasn't prepared- which was fine- he hadn't really expected her to be. Sure, he was a red-blooded American male, and of course a part of him had hoped she might be ready, willing, and able to take their relationship to the next level. However, he completely understood Andie's reluctance and respected her initial decision to wait, even if in the moment she kept waffling back and forth. That said, staying in that romantic bedroom and having to deal with all of the sexual tension between them without feeling free to act on it would have been fairly torturous. Much better to get moving, he thought, to be able to kiss Andie good-night standing vertically outside of her parents' house, where she didn't have quite as much power to level him.
But Pacey was far more relieved that he had taken the high road and not succumbed to typical adolescent testosterone surges- especially because he was fairly certain that they could have done it had he downplayed the repercussions and ignored the doubt that Andie was feeling. He wouldn't have been able to live with himself if he had, though- he just cared about her way too much. He smiled, thinking of how happy he was that he got to tell her so just a few minutes ago; in exactly the way that he wanted, after giving her everything that she wanted. Looking over at Andie, who was gripping his hand tightly and had a slight smile on her lips, he still couldn't believe how lucky he was.
There were so many thoughts swirling around in Pacey's head that it took him a minute to notice that they had finally reached his dad's police vehicle. He hadn't gotten permission to drive it- he hadn't bothered asking because he knew his dad would have just ridiculed him for failing his driver's test again and outright said no anyway- but it really didn't matter, because his dad was drunk and was currently passed out on the Witter family room couch. If Pacey got back before the morning he knew that his father would never even notice the car (or he) was gone.
He accompanied Andie to the passenger's side of the car, preparing to unlock and open the door for her- it was fitting, after all, to end the evening with a little romantic gesture, given how romantic the entire rest of the evening had been. Maybe it was a little weird to escort his girlfriend into a cop car (perhaps she'd feel like he was arresting her- though that had the potential to be hot, too, he supposed), but Pacey just wanted to take care of Andie like she was always taking care of him- and opening her car door for her was the least he could do, especially to finish a night like this. He was nuts about this girl.
Unfortunately, as he reached into his pocket, he realized immediately that it lacked the weight and characteristic jingle of his dad's keys. In an instant, he knew precisely where they were- Pacey visualized them on the nightstand in their room at the B&B. He had tossed them there in his nervous excitement while he and Andie were making out (they were bulky, and after all, he didn't want them to stab the side of his legs or his nether regions as they lay down on the bed), and in his heightened emotional state, he had simply forgotten to pick them back up again as they were leaving the room.
He sighed out loud. "Andie, I have some bad news."
Andie looked over at him, concerned. "What? What's going on?"
Pacey could tell that her insecurity had taken over, and he quickly set out to reassure her. "Oh, it's nothing that serious- I just- I left my keys in the room. I have to go back there and get them."
Relief washed over Andie's face. "I was worried that it was actually bad news," she said, shrugging her shoulders. She gave him a shy look. It was dark, but it looked like she might have been blushing. "Getting to accompany you back to the room sounds like good news to me," she said after a minute, and while her voice was a little hesitant, it sounded serious, too.
Not wanting her to think that he was putting any pressure on her, Pacey started to backtrack. "You don't have to come back to the room with me. You can-" he was about to say that she could stay here, but looking around, he suddenly decided he didn't like that idea. Because of its location, they were parked a block or so away from the B&B, almost in an alley- and it wasn't particularly well-lit. He didn't want Andie alone out here so late at night, standing next to a vehicle she couldn't actually get into. She was far too precious to him to leave her in such a vulnerable situation. "-wait in the foyer inside the B&B entrance," he eventually finished.
Andie's smile grew wider. "Are you afraid to be alone with me now, Mr. Witter?" she teased him, eyes sparkling.
Pacey coughed. She was astute. Things were going so perfectly right now, and the last thing he wanted to do was to mess it up. Given how much he had managed to screw up most of the other things in his life, he wouldn't put it past himself to manage to blow it with the most amazing girl he'd ever met. Right now she liked him, but even more importantly, she respected him- and he couldn't bear it if that changed. "Maybe a little, Miss McPhee," he replied honestly, any trace of snarkiness absent from his tone.
Andie squeezed his hand, pivoting and pulling him back in the direction from where they had just come. "Well, don't worry. I won't bite," she said, before adding flirtatiously a few moments later, "At least, not at first."
Whoa. Pacey wasn't prepared for that response. It affected him more than he cared to admit. He didn't reply except to give Andie an awkward smile.
They walked back to the B&B silently, a little uncomfortably. 'What does this mean, exactly?' he wanted to ask her the whole time- but he wasn't brave enough to form the words with his lips that he couldn't get out of his mind.
When they reentered the B&B a few minutes later, the owner gave them a cheerful wave in acknowledgement but didn't say anything. Not wanting to take any time away from Andie, Pacey had planned to check out and pay in the morning before school, so thankfully he didn't have to have a weird conversation with the B&B owner just then about being back on their property. He signaled for Andie to wait where she was but she merely shook her head, not letting go of his hand.
Pacey's heart accelerated with every step they took towards the bedroom. Could this mean what he thought it meant? It shouldn't matter, his brain screamed at him, even if she says she's ready now you know she isn't, or else she wouldn't have freaked out earlier. Unfortunately, however, he couldn't suppress his excitement at the fact that she was insistent on following him back to the room, their room. Sadly, like most teenage guys, he had already begun to proverbially think with his other head.
Thump-thump, thump-thump. His heart was now drowning out any other sound between his ears as he slowly opened the bedroom door. Looking in, he immediately saw his dad's key ring- it was resting on the far nightstand, exactly as he had predicted. He let go of Andie's hand, expecting her to wait at the doorframe, and then walked around to the other side of the bed, retrieving the keys. En route back to the bedroom entrance, he paused and gazed down into the fire still burning in the fireplace. They hadn't been gone that long, and it was still crackling, hotter now than before, embers smoldering with heat. He glanced back at the doorway.
Andie wasn't standing there anymore.
She was lying on the bed.
His poor heart, already thumping uncontrollably just in being back here with her, now skipped a beat. He felt a little dizzy. "Andie, what are you doing?" he asked her, trying to sound in control. He wasn't.
"Nothing," she replied, innocently and devilishly at the same time.
"Well, are you coming?" he was now near the door and held up the keys, pointing towards the hallway, indicating that they should get going.
Annie grinned. "Not yet. Hopefully I will be soon though." She gave him this look along with her smile.
What?! He thought to himself. His jaw dropped and he raised his eyebrows, in complete shock. It wasn't what she said, but how she said it- in his mind, there was only one possible interpretation to her little double entendre. Yet he couldn't possibly have heard her right- he couldn't have heard sweet little Andie McPhee make that kind of lewd insinuation. He didn't dare ask her to repeat herself, though- he physically couldn't speak. He just stood there slack-jawed instead.
She spoke up again. "Come here." She slowly, intentionally wagged her finger at him in a come-hither motion.
Pacey gulped, clearing his throat. He had to ask her; they had to talk about this. He finally found enough voice to utter a single word. "Why?"
"You know why." She looked him up and down, eyes heavy-lidded, running her tongue over her bottom lip just a little bit. "I'm ready."
Pacey's heart surged, and his groin ached, and for a second he thought he might even pass out. But he forced himself to calm down, just for a minute. They weren't finished talking. "Who are you and what have you done with my girlfriend?" he asked her good-naturedly, half joking, half deadly serious. He wasn't incredulous at her consent, per se, but at her dirty-talking, take-charge attitude. But he almost kicked himself for even questioning it because it was sexy as hell.
Andie just shrugged. "We're the same girl," she said. "Look, I know I'm usually anxious and high-strung. But right now, Pacey- I just- I just want you."
God, hearing those words come out of her mouth- his reproductive system was threatening to completely overtake his brain, but he grasped on to the last bit of his cerebrum capable of rational, non-sexual thought. "Andie, you weren't ready just a few minutes ago. What changed?"
Andie shrugged again, giving him a little smile. "You left your keys on the nightstand."
Pacey rolled his eyes. For God's sake, he didn't want that to be the reason that she was lying on this bed, offering herself to him- that this was all his fault. But thankfully, Andie interrupted his growing self-hatred before it could grow any bigger.
"No, look, Pacey. Listen- let me explain. I'll be honest. The bottom line is- with anyone else I don't think I'd be ready. But with you-" she broke off, emotion straining her voice. "You've just been so romantic and sensitive and- and just so understanding about everything all evening. And then when we were walking to the car, it occurred to me that I was really- I don't know, disappointed- that we were walking away from this opportunity. Disappointed that I wasn't going to get to be with you. The degree of my disappointment surprised me, Pacey. And then- even after us deciding not to- and deciding to end the night early- when we got to your dad's car, I saw that you were still about to open the car door for me. That really- touched me. I mean, you had to at least be feeling a little bit frustrated that we didn't go further, especially because I kept teasing you by changing my mind, but you completely put aside any feelings you had for the sake of mine. You showed so much respect for me in that moment that I just had this epiphany; I realized that I know you well enough now to know that you would always respect me regardless of when we had sex, whether it was tonight or two weeks from now or even in a year. And you see, it was in that exact instant that I realized- I just knew- that I wanted it to be with you. And then, a minute later when you said you left your keys back in the room, it was- it just felt like fate, you know? Like the world had conspired to put us back here. Like somebody was trying to reassure me that because you were the right person, anytime I wanted to do it with you would be fine and that it would all work out. And when I thought about it, I realized that I was actually really excited at the prospect of coming back here with you- at being with you. Especially because even when I said I wanted to come back to the bedroom with you, you obviously weren't expecting me to change my mind."
Wow. Pacey was so glad- so glad- that she had elaborated. He said the only thing he could think to say. "Wow."
"So- in short, what changed is that you left your keys on the nightstand."
As much as Pacey wanted to jump her right then and there, he first needed to make sure that she was absolutely sure. He needed to restrain himself- at least until he knew. He closed his eyes. "Well, you're right about one thing at least- I'll respect you no matter what, and no matter when we become physically intimate. That's a given. I just- I don't want you to have any regrets about us, Andie."
"I know," she replied, smiling. Her eyes seemed to light up. "The thing is, I think I'll regret it more if we don't do it. I mean, it's been such an amazing evening, and you're such an amazing guy. I want to end the night with an amazing experience- one that I can share with you….," she trailed off, a little uncertain. "I mean- if you still want to-" she hesitated.
Pacey was once again desperate to reassure his girlfriend- I mean, she wasn't seriously questioning how much he wanted her, was she? He quickly put the keys in his pocket and lay down on the bed facing her. He began gently running his fingers through her silky hair, placing his other hand on her jaw line, pulling on it just slightly until he could look into her eyes. They were beautiful but still just a little frightened. He finally spoke again. "Of course, I want you Andie," he murmured, his lips close to her ear. "A lot. A lot, a lot. But only if you're 100% sure you want it- and me- too."
Andie nodded, relieved, happy. "I'm sure, Pacey. I promise."
Pacey didn't hold back now- he kissed her with everything he had. With all of the love and all of the respect and all of the passion and all of the sexual energy that had been between them all night, while his arms encircled her and he pulled her close to him. Andie kissed him back, wrapping her arms around him too, moving her hands all over his body.
After a moment, one of Andie's hands wandered to his hip, and then slipped inside his pants pocket, pulling out the large ring of car keys. She set them on the bedside table, smiling, momentarily breaking their kiss. "You might as well get comfortable," she whispered, "because we're not going anywhere for a while."
