Title:Fading Existence
Author:Insanity
Summary:John leaves Moya, Aeryn follows along. Bitta Talyn adventurism cos he didn't get enough screen time. This is basically me writing a story for myself to make myself feel good. All the things I want to happen happen. Though there will be some stuff I won't like but will write.
Spoilers:This starts right after Different Destinations, and AU after that, but there will be bits and pieces thrown in from the rest of S3 and 4 and possibly PKW. So you'll want to have watched everything.
Beta:Some might say my imaginary friends don't count, but.. Well.. They don't. No beta, each and every mistake is mine. Or your eyes, depending. ;)
Disclaimer:If I owned Farscape this wouldn't be just floating around the internet, it would be on TV, so I think that answers that. The words are mine though. Well.. Oxford dictionary's, but I reckon it's safe to borrow a few.
Note:This was supposed to be my first fic. It's now my second, but it might not be the 2nd completed piece because it is going to be looooong. (I should probably forewarn and readers about that, it's long.) And I've been using the title 'Fly Me to the Moon', so it's rather odd having a different name now.
Note2:I will be writing a parallel story either during this or after. I was originally going to post it as the same story, but I've decided they deserve their own. I'm referring of course to what's happening with Moya whilst the rest of the story is happening, I just haven't been able to mesh them they way I would like. (and also Moya didn't like the title of this story, so she's getting her own.)
Note3:So far I've written up the first 5chapters, and I have 8more that are summary written, I just need to add some words. I hope to post these one a week/fortnight, to give me time to write more so I'll always have a chapter ready. Though obviously if nobody likes my wandering I'll stop posting and keep them to myself.
2 Márta 2010
CHAPTER ONE:A Loving Betrayal.
"And so I'm leaving Moya guys, too many people have died because of me, and I don't want any of you to be next. I'm sorry I didn't wait for y'all to wake up, but I figured this was the best way." He smiled down ruefully, "You guys would have tried to stop me. Don't try to follow me, please. Pilot has deleted my journey from his databanks so there's nothing to follow.
I'm sorry to end it like this guys, you're the best friends and crewmates a lost country boy could have. I've left individual goodbyes in each of your quarters-you guys sure do sleep deeper these days, I woulda thought at least Ms PK tough chick woulda heard me.
Umm... Yeh. So I love you guys and I'm sorry for everything that my being here has done to hurt you all. Hope everything works out for you now. Anyways, Gotta fly!" John's tortured eyes got a bit brighter, and D'Argo watched as he donned a roguish smile and lifted his hand up into the view screen, separating out his two central fingers "Live long and prosper." With that, the view screen went blank.
There was a long silence in the den as the sole occupant other than Pilot stared in shock at the now empty viewscreen. Pilot watched his crewmate carefully waiting for a response. What he got was of no surprise to him, having lived with these beings for more than two cycles. There was a growl and then,
"Frelling dren"
"My sentiments exactly, Ka D'argo."He bowed his head slightly at the fuming Luxan. "I asked for your presence first because I was unsure how to deal with this, given the unpredictable nature of our other friends. You are someone I trust not to act rashly" Inside his mind he felt Moya frown slightly at this twist of truth. They both knew that D'argo was perhaps the most rash of the group, but they took the risk anyway as he was the most authoritive and also the most easy to placate with compliments with regards his emotional control. And it seemed to be working, as D'argo was visibly relaxing under Pilot's amber gaze. Pilot assured Moya that the threat of hyper rage was now over.
D'argo stood at the edge of Pilot's console and repeated over and over in his mind the video he had just witnessed. At first he was mildly hurt that the human had not come to him, they had shared many things in the past and he was confused that John hadn't confided in him. Frell, he talked to John occasionally about the heartache surrounding his son and Chiana. They shared stories of their barely functioning love lives. However, they had not had one of those conversations in a couple of weekens.
As he thought about it more, and reminisced on John's behaviour from the past few days, he slowly began to realise that John had not spoke more than a few words to him in days, and most certainly only because he was prodded into doing so. D'argo began to feel a deep sorrow well up in his hearts, and was ashamed for not having seen sooner how miserable the human was.
Being the strongest warrior on the ship, it was up to him to protect the weaker crewmembers. However, he was a Luxan, weakness of the mind was something he had only learned recently. Before the human, he had only ever known a person to suffer from physical ailments, war wounds, disease, cuts and bruises, so he was always slower to realise when someone was emotionally hurting.
Since the memorial planet and the atrocities that had occurred there, (in no small part thanks to his, Aeryn and John's actions) John had become quiet and reclusive. He had already been struggling to come to terms with Zhaan's death (something D'argo realised that the rest of the crew had unknowingly been blaming him for) and now since leaving the planet and all that happened there he must have been so consumed with shame and guilt at what his actions had done. D'argo himself found it hard to think about that day, the memory of the little girl, Cyntrina, too fresh in his mind. In his sorrow he had unwittingly blamed John, yet again, for deaths he could not have stopped. No wonder the human had not spoken of his troubles to D'argo.
"We have been treating him unfairly since Zhaan's death," D'argo confessed, "and now since the memorial planet he must have been so consumed with guilt. I wish I had known what we were doing to him."
"Moya and I too had noticed a change in the commander's behaviour; he has been spending much of his time alone on the terrace. I am ashamed that I did not help him, as my duty to all who reside within Moya I should have aided him in whatever way I could, but recently Moya and I have been missing Zhaan so greatly we simply weren't able to comfort him as we should." Pilots head drooped lower as he confessed his failure, and Moya tried to comfort him but was so saddened herself that it only mildly alleviated his morose mood.
"Do not blame yourself Pilot. We all ignored our friend as he suffered." D'Argo's gently rumbling voice calmed Pilot, and D'argo himself seemed more emotionally controlled as the both conversed.
"Thank you Ka D'argo. Moya wishes you to know that you too are also not to blame."
"Thank you Pilot, and thank Moya for me." He looked up into the large symbiotes eyes and saw only compassion. "My only worry now is what we tell the rest of the crew. What do we tell Aeryn?"
"Moya suggests you gather them together after the sleep cycle and show them this video in command. We too are anxious as to Aeryn's response. They both are prone to acting very irrationally when one of them is missing or hurt"
"Thank you for the advice. I will go to command now to start my shift. Please tell the others when they awaken to come up there also" With that said D'argo nodded once to Pilot and began the long walk up to command.
Aeryn awoke swiftly from sleep, as she always did. She spent a moment lying in the warmth of her bed, stretching her muscles softly. It was a new thing for her, to lie relaxing in bed in the mornings. When she first arrived on Moya whenever she awoke she was quick to leap out of bed and dress, ready to perform her duties, but as time went by and she found herself with more and more free time on her hands she began spending a little bit more time in bed. After all there are only so many times one can clean a pulse pistol, and she didn't know of many other ways to distract herself. At first, it felt wrong to be doing this, she felt like she was betraying some code by not using the time to train, feeling as though by lying here she was not ready for whatever problem happened to strike Moya that day, but as John so kindly pointed out, she was always ready for action. She smiled as she thought of that conversation with John.
He had been late for first meal, again, and she had gone to his quarters and ordered him out of bed. Not after spending a silent few moments watching his sleeping form of course. When he did not awaken at her call she went over and sat on his bed, looking at his sleeping face. Slowly, much slower than the newest cadet, he became aware of her presence and groaned as he blearily blinked his eyes.
"You know if I had been an enemy you would have dead long before now. Your instincts are dismal, Crichton" She frowned at him. For all her condescending tones, she really did care for him, and belittling his abilities was the only way she new to try to get him to change his slow minded ways. She didn't want him dying because he slept too soundly.
Crichton groaned loudly and shut his barely open eyes again. He mumbled into the pillow.
"What? Crichton if you're going to talk the least you could do is try and talk properly. I can barely understand you as it is" Frell he was useless, she thought.
"Said I knew 'twas you" He muttered, slightly louder than the first time.
"Oh really, and how was that exactly? Your amazing human senses?"She snorted.
"Smelled like you"
'Frell him!' "I do not smell!
"Do. Don't worry Aer, it's a good thing. You smell nice." With that, he opened his eyes properly and grinned at her boyishly. When he saw her fighting down a small smile of her own his grin widened. Rubbing his eyes one last time he sat up in bed. "Anyways, it's nice to lie in bed in the morning. I mean when I was a kid I didn't appreciate it, but my college years taught me better. Why run around doing nothing when you can lie in bed? I was awake about an arn ago, just thought I'd get to know my bed a bit better."
She snorted again. "Yes and that's really going to help us in a battle John. What if I decided to just 'lie around all day' as you say? The ship would be overrun in a microt."
He disagreed, "Nuh-uh babe. You're like G.I. Jane, even when you're asleep you're always ready for action." He winked at her and very slowly started getting himself out of bed, but stopped to listen to Aeryn again.
"So you just lie here, doing nothing? What purpose does that serve? I was taught never to do the unnecessary. If I have extra time then I should use it to train. Though I find myself with a bit too much time here. I'll be needing new gloves at the next commerce planet." Silently she added 'you too' but knew not to voice it as John was always so reluctant to train and fight.
"Holy mother Teresa, you've never just slouched around being a potato? Man am I glad for Miss United States. Doing absolutely nothing is a very important part of being human." He stated matter of factly. Aeryn stared at him for a few seconds before answering. 'Frelling fahrbot, I hope he doesn't actually think we believe his little stories about human traits'.
"No I've never 'sloshed around' being a 'tuber' whatever the frell any of that's supposed to mean, and anyways Crichton I really don't think—
What the frell are you doing?" Mid sentence Crichton, he was sitting beside her at this point, had very professionally thrown back his sheet, lay back down on his bed and started pulling her down by the arm.
"Gotta try it once. C'mon, you'll love it" He was using his most pleading voice and staring at her, begging her with his eyes. Aeryn just glared at him, but knew it was a lost cause. 'Frell it' she thought, 'either this or clean my pulse pistol, again'. And so she removed his arm from hers, slid gracefully into the bed beside him, whereupon John immediately threw the covers over them, and turned to her.
Aeryn had realised immediately the mistake behind her actions, but she was already falling into his eyes and really couldn't summon the energy to care how close they were. Without seemingly even realising it, they both moved closer together. Her heart was beating rapidly at this stage. Somewhere in the back of her mind the soldier in her was screaming 'Officer Sun! What the frell are you doing!' but another side of her mind, the louder part, was telling her she knew this was going to happen the moment she entered his quarters. She'd been frelling bored and had missed him at first meal; he was usually always capable of being mildly entertaining.
John leaned forward carefully, watching her reactions ever dench of the way, and just when she was readying to either bolt or give in to his kiss, he changed direction and planted a kiss on her forehead. She knew he had seen her uncertainty, but now she couldn't remember why she had been. A missed opportunity.
She sighed loudly and John immediately put his arm around her form and pulled her in against his chest. Once she got over her initial surprise she slowly relaxed against him, head under his chin. She slipped an arm around him in turn. She felt his head tilt and felt him breathing in the scent of her hair. Her mouth twisted into a secret smile, hidden from his view, and she slowly closed her eyes.
Just remembering that warm moment brought a smile to her face. It was one of the few moments they had truly let themselves go and just relaxed with each other. Usually he was trying so hard not to scare her off, and when he failed at that she was always so busy worrying about the consequences of getting close to him that they never got further than furtive glances. She couldn't recall a time before John where she was able to just be close to a man and not feel the demands of their hormones. Of course, she knew he would love to go further than just 'cuddling' as he called it, and frell she thought she might like to as well, but it was nice just to lie close to him and feel his body warming hers, and his breath ruffing her hair.
They had stayed that way for an entire arn. She thinks they might have both dozed at some point. When they both started to get impatient for the day they didn't run and become awkward with each other as they so often did, he had kissed her once more on the forehead and they had both gotten up and gone together to the central chamber for John to have his first meal, and Aeryn had sat opposite him and watched him as he ate, pretending she needed his advice on repairing the navigation display on her prowler. (Which she then ran to quickly afterwards and pulled some wires)
Aeryn got out of her own bed then and quickly got dressed, hoping her time spent reminiscing hadn't run into first meal. She didn't need John to know that she had been practising his habit.
Strapping on her pulse pistol she swept out of her quarters, only to collide with a very suspicious looking Rygel.
She glared at him for a microt while she collected herself, and he backed away slightly, looking at her warily as if expecting an outburst.
"Rygel." She stated.
"Peacekeeper." He replied, following his old insult.
"Do I want to know why you were outside my quarters?"
"Oh no reason," he said officiously, "I just thought it would be interesting whether I have won the bet, but I assume you don't know yet so I suppose I shall have to wait. How does it feel peacekeeper, to know you are the last to find out?" He grinned at her and drifted his thronesled away, leaving a confused and irritated Aeryn to stand in the hall looking after him.
"Nobody can ever just frelling make sense anymore." She muttered as she made her way to command.
Once he knew he was out of sight of Aeryn, Rygel stopped his thronesled, turned around, and followed behind her, always keeping a corridor of distance between them. He didn't want to be the first thing she saw when she found out, but he still wanted to be there.
She had suprised him when she came out of her quarters, at the speed she had come out at he had automatically assumed she knew, so had prepared himself for her reaction. He had at least expected agitation or concern. Worst scenario, he had feared she would display an uncharacteristic amount of emotion. Instead, once she had collected herself, she had appeared as she had every day, albeit a small part surprised to see him down her corridor.
After D'Argo had called them all to command after first meal and shown them the video John had left behind, the first thing he had told them was that nobody except him or Pilot, under any circumstances, was to mention John's disappearance to Aeryn. D'Argo had said he was unsure as of yet what to tell her, but told them until that point it was safer for all on board if they kept mouths shut as D'Argo was the only one capable of holding back an angry peacekeeper.
Chiana had simply left the chamber quietly and, he suspected, went back to her quarters to absorb the knowledge that her newfound brother was gone, and to find the data chip John had left her. Jool simply mentioned that 'she didn't give a frell what people did on this ship' as they had 'killed her cousins like barbarians' and she only stayed because they had kidnapped her. After D'Argo's growl of anger she had turned on her heel in a huff and stormed out of command, and Rygel couldn't give a yotz where she went.
Stark hadn't bothered showing up, claiming he already knew having not felt his spirit on the ship any more. D'Argo had then explained to him that Crichton had left, that he wasn't dead. They had all looked mildly surprised when he replied, "Obviously, Ka D'Argo, Zhaan would have told me. Zhaan loves John, like she loves me. Loves you. Loves the grey one, the loud one and even the smelly one. Very smelly. Loves us all. Zhaan's love..." Pilot picked that moment to cut his comms.
D'Argo had looked at Rygel dismissively and turned away to look at the control, trying to pretend that he was in control of himself, but Rygel saw his hand shaking as he moved them over the console.
After thinking for a while, Rygel had realised that it was up to him, once again, to look after everybody on board, as he was the only one, it seemed, that didn't collapse at the first sign of disaster.
And secretly, though he would never tell it to anybody, he was fond of his newly adopted subjects and really didn't want anything negative happening to them if he could help it. If by helping he wasn't endangering his life. John had been something of an entertainer on board and always seemed to forgive him readily for the little and few mistakes he had made, whereas the others seemed to draw out their loathing of him over weekens. He honestly would miss Crichton, he thought to himself. But he realised if he could do anything for his first true friend, it would be look after his family, and look after Aeryn even if she was a cruel and barbaric tralk.
After much deliberation he had swung his chair around and floated out of command in the direction of Aeryn's quarters, ready to begin his duty of watching over her. He had planned to hide in an adjacent cell (where he had some hidden rations, handily enough) and wait for her to leave so he could follow her to command. What he had not expected was for her to burst out into his path. With the pace at which she had come out, he thought immediately that she knew, that Jool or Pilot or somebody had told her. Caught off guard he couldn't make up an excuse quickly enough and he knew he had raised her suspicions. 'Yotz' he thought, 'the Luxan's going to kill me.'.
Now speeding after her as he was he was sincerely starting to regret his actions. The few times he has truly tried to do something for the crew have always ended with them despising him more than before. And now it was happening again. Everybody was sure to think he had told her or antagonised her on purpose. His earbrows lowered slightly, knowing how little everybody but John and perhaps Zhaan, thought of him. And now his two champions were gone.
Aeryn was already in command and approaching it slowly, Rygel could already hear D'Argo's voice softly rumbling through the corridor. He could hear Aeryn as she raised her voice in question and then command went silent.
At this point he drew around the last corridor and went behind the door to peer through the gap. D'Argo was fiddling with a console nervously as he put the video chip back in the viewer. Rygel's earbrows drooped even lower again as John's face appeared on the screen. Aeryn was standing stoically still staring at the video. Her stance giving away the tension in her mind.
Throughout the video Rygel alternated between watching John and watching Aeryn's reaction. Out of the corner of his eye he could see D'Argo doing the same, and he thanked the Hynerian Gods that he wasn't in the room with them.
Aeryn had begun shaking slightly. It would be barely noticeable on a regular person, but on Aeryn it was as if Moya was having a fit of hiccups, it was so extreme. When John began saying goodbye and finally raised his hand using that strange gesture she slowly lowered herself to the floor on her knees staring at something unseeable in the distance. Rygel stared at her nervously, not knowing what her next reaction to be. He figured she would either kill D'Argo or rush for her prowler. Therefore, when he heard a great racking sob he looked around the room quickly in confusion, expecting to find some other hidden observer, but when D'Argo quietly went to her side and put a hand on her shoulder he realised the noise had come from her, and her barely shaking movements had now become full on tremors.
For once in his life, Rygel felt like an intruder. He slowly backed away, feeling strangely empty, and made his way to the central chamber hoping to replace his woes with food.
Aeryn stayed kneeling on the floor until she got her emotions better under control. She was embarrassed at her slip in her discipline, but she knew D'Argo wouldn't call her on it. His heavy hand stayed comfortingly on her shoulder throughout, and it was the contact that slowly brought her back to reality.
While she was watching the video she told herself it was one of Crichton's jokes that he was constantly playing on people, but when he had started to say goodbye, when he done that idiotic earth hand symbol he had once shown her she slowly began to shake, her body cooled until everything inside felt like it had turned to ice. John had left her. After all his promises not to leave her. After he had told her he loved her. After she had come back from the dead because Zhaan saw their love for each other. He was gone. Once she realised that fact her mind had gone blank. She had fallen to the floor simply because all of a sudden she couldn't feel her legs beneath her. Repeatedly in her mind, the only sentence that was making its way through the layer of twisting emotions was the mantra 'He's gone. He's gone. John's gone. He's left me.'
Now she was under control again. She had logic and rationale back on her side. Now she had enough strength to form new thoughts, form a plan. The mantra was still running in her head, but she finally was able to multitask again, only giving a portion of her concentration to that, while the rest of her mind was devoted to 'the plan'.
D'Argo was looking at her carefully, as if worried at any moment she might erupt emotionally again. Instead she seemed to be bringing in her training again, schooling her emotions until her face was almost void of emotion, apart from a look that was strangely similar to the one Crichton wore when he was formulating one of his death defying plans.
"Aeryn?" He asked softly.
"Quiet a microt D'Argo, I'm thinking." With that, she went quiet again for a moment. "I've got it."
"Got what?"She'd only spoken two sentences and already he was becoming confused, and increasingly worried.
"Pilot, Crichton's module, it leaks excess gases?"
Pilot's face appeared quickly, having known his presence would be asked for. "Yes Officer Sun. However, it has been some arns since the commander left and any traces of his module are close to none existent. Moya would be unable to follow him using that. We are sorry, Aeryn." His use of her first name conveyed all the sadness his face could not.
"It's fine Pilot, we will find him."
"It's not that we are sorry about. Before he left John explicitly asked me not to give you any details regarding his journey, and as you know asked me to delete any and all data regarding his direction." He inclined his head slightly as he spoke, noticing the colour draining from Aeryn's face as all apparent hope was lost.
"Aeryn I think it would be best now to look where we are heading. John will find us again if he needs to. He asked us not to follow him. He was my greatest friend, and I honour him by honouring his wishes." D'Argo said as he came to stand at her shoulder. She had moved to stand in front of the wide window that looked out upon the stars.
She turned to him, her face showing a flash of anger.
"No, D'Argo. I do not accept that. I do not accept that John wants us to abandon him out here alone. I refuse to abandon him."
"Aeryn he doesn't want you following him. We have to think of the crew now."
"Alright, let's ask the crew then D'Argo. You're not their captain, let them decide!" Her eyes were livid with anger now, though D'Argo knew it was only because she was trying to cover up the so-called 'weaker emotions'. He knew she was fighting an internal battle against herself. Thinking of nothing that could comfort her he nodded, hoping that if nothing else she could accept that he was right.
Seeing his nod, Aeryn stood taller once more. "Pilot could you request an answer from each of the crew please."
Pilot had been watching their conversation silently. Watching the emotions that flew around the room. It was so rare to see Aeryn show anything but her peacekeeper mask. Usually he liked these times when they had the chance to see the emotional spirit beneath it, but watching her now, he felt pain.
"Yes Officer Sun, comms open now. They will reply when ready. They have been listening to your conversation."
Before Aeryn could reply with a thank you Starks voice came on.
"Destiny, destiny. His destiny, my destiny, your destiny. Our destiny? No, no, no, no, no, no. My side, your side. His side. Not our destiny. His destiny. Your destiny. Mine. We should leave. Yes, we should leave straight away. Our destiny. My destiny, your destiny. We need to leave. Not his destiny. Or your destiny. He must stay. You must. But we cannot. Not us." His garbling came to end on a sigh. Aeryn and D'Argo looked at each other, not sure what his reply was supposed to mean.
"I suspect his answer was a no, Officer Sun, Ka D'Argo. Myself and Moya have taken to untangling his sentences in our spare time since he came aboard. If the Commander were here he would say we were 'playing a game'."
"Thank you Pilot." Replied D'Argo when he realised Aeryn wouldn't.
Next Chiana's voice wafted through their comms. "Crichton was my brother. I mean he was like a brother to me. Like Nerri. He was totally tinked, but he was always there for me. And I want to be there for him, you know? I wanna return the favour. So I'm going to say no. I'm sorry Aeryn. He asked me. He asked all of us. I hate that he's asked us to stay away, but I love him, so I will. So that's my answer." Her voice sounded hoarse over the comms, D'Argo suspected she had spent the time since the news crying. He cast a quick glance at Aeryn, but it was pointless. He could see no trace of her thoughts.
"Jool?" He inquired gruffly.
"Oh I wasn't sure if you cared" She replied. "As I said I don't care what we do. I barely know you people. I barely know him. However, I do know, other than killing my cousins, he was always kind to me. Like he gave a frell, more than you people anyway. But if he wants to leave I don't see your problem. I want to leave too; I haven't heard anyone voting on that." She finished haughtily.
"That's because we don't like you, princess! But we like John!" Chiana's screech over the comms proved she was paying close attention to the deliberations.
A small smile appeared to flicker across Aeryn's face. D'Argo didn't hide his and grinned at Chiana's comment. As much as he didn't like how Chiana had hurt him and betrayed him, he had to admire her fierce loyalty to John. Maybe if he had been more like a brother to her she wouldn't have torn him down so quickly, he mused. Then stopped musing, as there were more important things to be discussed. Like how the frell they were going to keep Aeryn from taking over the ship herself to search for John. He sighed deeply. It pained him to leave his friend behind, but if that was his wish, he would abide by it. He had the crew to think of now. He had to think of Moya and Pilot. If Moya were a ship like Talyn he wouldn't be questioning his moves, but Moya had been through far too much in their short time aboard her, and he for one thought she deserved peace and time to recuperate. He didn't really think John was gone forever anyway.
"Aeryn, the crew have decided, I think we must accept that John is---"
"The yotz they have! You forget your Dominar, Luxan."Seethed Rygel as he spoke over the comms.
"Your vote does not matter, your eminence. And even if it did, the majority have voted no, your vote either way is worthless!" Came the snarling reply.
"That's not necessarily true D'Argo. We still have Moya and Pilot to consider." Aeryn said quietly, looking out at the stars.
"Luxan malak" Rygel muttered. "As Dominar and the only official royalty on this vessel, it is my duty to look after each and every one of my subjects, no matter how they mistreat me. I am their sovereign. Without me you would all be tearing each other apart like the primitives you are. John has been a most loyal subject; he has saved you all, and even me, on numerous occasions. Even when you all wronged him, he never once gave up on you. So I say I will not give up on him. I vote that we follow his course as best that we can." With his speech done, everyone listening distinctly heard the sound of him crunching on food cubes.
"Thank you Rygel" Aeryn had turned away from the window briefly to look in the direction of the central chamber. After she got over the shock of his answer she realised she was immensely grateful to the small ruler, though she now felt she owed him something and that thought did not please her. She turned to face the clamshell. "Pilot, have you and Moya made a decision?"
"Moya says that as your home, and having been bred to serve others she feels she has no right to vote, and so will follow whatever you all decide. I should say the same, however I have decided that I will vote, and I will vote no. My first duty is to Moya, and then those who reside within her. Moya is my priority, and I would rather we were somewhere safe where the commander could seek us later, than to get into another battle." Pilot spoke confidently, but he avoided gazing into Aeryn's eyes.
Aeryn was staring at the clamshell, a feeling of utter betrayal surging through her. Of all aboard, she had the closest bond to Pilot (second to Moya of course) and she was followed closely by John. She had thought that Pilot would follow her wish to reclaim their lost crewmember.
"Well that's that then. You would all abandon Crichton." Her voice was flat, her eyes hollow. She slowly left command feeling faint. She had not wanted to go alone, she knew her prowler wouldn't last up for a lengthy journey as she had been taking it apart to clean, fix and modify it with Crichton. As it was it would have to have a hasty put together and she would just have to hope it made it to the next planet where she could fix it. When she left, as she had decided she must, she knew it would be a while before she saw Moya again. She wouldn't be able to make the return journey until she had her prowler completely fixed and that would take some time. She comforted herself thinking she would at least be with John, keeping him safe.
She reached her quarters swiftly and started organising what she would require for the journey. She threw extra leathers onto her bed, grabbed two t-shirts, her day and her night one. Next for the pile she started organising her weapons. First she threw down chakan oil cartridges, then she added an extra holster and pistol to her thigh and retrieved her rifle and a bag full of grenades. These were the essentials to breathing for more than a day if she was going to be hanging around with John.
Thinking of that curse, she slipped a knife into her boot and another into her belt. She added a pulse canon to the pile, thinking that if she couldn't carry it she could at least have it in the prowler and know it was there. She added more cartridges to her bed, spares for John. With her hastily made pile assembled, she started to pack it all neatly into a duffel bag. That done she grabbed her leather duster. It was then she noticed the data chip on the table, and remembered John mentioning that he had left them all their own. She decided to watch it in the prowler and put it into the pocket of her duster.
Rifle slung over her shoulder, bag over the other, she started walking down the hall that would eventually lead to the hangers where her prowler lay.
Pilot sat morosely in his den, gazing at the panels in front of him, occasionally giving one a prod to keep Moya's systems running, but most of his attention was focussed on Moya and on the crew and their predicament. Aeryn in particular. Moya had, in concern for her, sent DRD's to watch her. Together they saw her packing her bags and knew that too soon another of their family would depart, and they could not follow. Pilot sighed to himself.
A slight whirring distracted him from his thoughts and he looked up to find Rygel crossing the bridge over to his console.
"Dominar." He greeted wearily, lacking the energy to feign politeness as Rygel regaled him some story of the injustices imposed on him.
"Pilot." He hesitated, not knowing how to begin. Pilot looked at him more carefully, curiosity rising.
"Is there a problem, Dominar, something you require?"
"Ahem, no, Pilot. I could just come here to talk couldn't I?" At Pilots dubious look, he acceded. "Alright I've never come here for that reason. Pilot, I want to talk to you about something, but I need your word that this will be confidential."
'There are too many secrets' Moya whispered in his mind. Pilot silently agreed. First Crichton, then D'Argo, then the crew had to keep a secret from Aeryn, and now Rygel. He sighed again. "Of course Dominar. Moya and I agree that nothing said here shall leave this room."
"Thank you Pilot. Pilot, I want you to give Aeryn the coordinates."
Pilot did a double take. "But your eminence, John told you in his video, he asked me to delete all records."
"Yes Pilot, but you and I both know that there is the asking of a thing, and then the doing. I know you all think I don't know anything about things that don't concern me, and in most cases this is true, but if you will recall when we were boarded by the Zenetan pirates..." He paused, looking at Pilot while Pilot conjured the memory.
"Yes, I remember. You saved Stanz and D'Argo by sending the pirates on the wrong lead." Pilot was starting to realise that Rygel knew more than he let on, that he knew about Pilot's lie. He was glad now of the secrecy of their conversation.
"Yes and saved Moya and everybody else in the process," his chest inflated as he spoke and his tone was proud, "after that incident I made a point of asking you if you captured my honourable moment in your data banks, do you remember?" At Pilot's uneasy nod he continued, "Yes, and what was it you told me when I asked that?"
Sullenly like a guilty child, Pilot replied, "I informed you that once something was inferred into Moya's databanks only sabotage could erase it, that I had no power to delete memories, or indeed anything, though I could hide it so deep within her that none but myself could find it again"
"Exactly. So Pilot I know that you didn't erase anything when Crichton asked. Don't worry, I'm not accusing you of lying. You never mentioned erasing anything, only that Crichton had asked you. Very smart. I think you and I would do incredibly well in business together."
"Yes Rygel you are correct. However, the commander asked me not to tell his whereabouts and I shall not, much like I shall not tell the crew you came here because you asked me not to."
Becoming irritated with Pilot Rygel exclaimed "Yotz you will Pilot, it's your head they'd be after! I'm just asking you to tell Aeryn where he's gone so she won't get herself blown up and killed flying in circles!"
Unknown to Rygel, Pilot and Moya had been discussing this very thing since they realised Aeryn was likely leaving. There was an internal conflict raging in Pilot, his need to serve and carry out the wills of his crew, and his need to help Aeryn. Really, the problems were all one and the same, but the demands were all conflicting. He growled in frustration.
'Commander is forgiving' sung Moya after Pilot had been silent for a while. Pilot thought about this and agreed. John by nature was very forgiving, never staying angry long and always apologising if he somehow wronged somebody else. Against his person, he saw past the wrongs and betrayals and somehow always mended his bonds with the person that destroyed them. Thinking on that Pilot made his choice.
"Coordinates being sent now. Will you be informing Officer Sun?" Pilot watched inquisitively as the Hynerian's face erupted into a smile. It was very odd behaviour from the deposed leader.
"No, I would prefer she not know it was me. Maybe D'Argo or you could...?" He trailed off as he spoke. Pilot realised he was witnessing one of Rygel's extremely rare moments of compassion. He would have to watch the dominar more carefully in future, he was not always as pompous and arrogant as he seemed.
"Of course Rygel, I'll let D'Argo know." When Pilot stopped talking Rygel was already halfway across the bridge, heading to the central chamber no doubt. Moya chuckled at the thought and Pilot allowed himself a small smile, before opening comms.
"Ka D'Argo, I wish to inform you that Aeryn Sun is heading towards the hanger bay. I would like you to inform her that I have uploaded some new data into her prowler, and that Moya and I truly are sorry that she is leaving. We hope she finds Crichton and comes home safely." He closed the comms before D'Argo could reply, wanting instead to drift on his thoughts and Moya's, trying to console each other that the wait for their two favourite family members return wouldn't be that long.
"Aeryn!"
Aeryn turned from where she was perched on the edge of the opening to her prowler. She frowned slightly at this minor delay to her departure and played with the idea of just leaving before D'Argo tried to dissuade her. She climbed back down her prowler and leant against it, waiting while he walked up to her.
"You shouldn't go Aeryn." He said.
"I should and I am. Crichton needs me. Knowing him he's probably started a small war wherever he is." She allowed herself a small smile and saw its reflection on D'Argo.
"I realise it's pointless to ask you to stay. I just wanted a chance to say goodbye, we won't be seeing each other for a while. I'll try to leave a trail that you can follow, John built in some sort of homing device?"
"Yes," She said proudly, "it follows all transmissions and signals from Moya. It gets weaker with age, but we should be able to find you easily enough if we start our return within four monens, and I doubt it will take that long at all."
He nodded. "I've brought you credits; you may need them if John is in jail." He allowed a small laugh, "I presume you've packed your own rations. I have a message from Pilot also."
"Why didn't he comm me?"
"He probably is upset at your leaving. I think he feels badly about the way this has all happened. He wanted me to tell you that he has uploaded new data into your prowler. He says also that he and Moya look forward to your return." It wasn't the exact wording, but it was close enough he was sure Pilot would forgive him.
"Well, thank him and Moya for me. I'm sure the data will be useful. Let him know I shall miss him." She looked slightly unsure about using D'Argo as a messenger, but it quickly became unneeded as Pilot decided to reply himself.
"We shall miss you too, Aeryn Sun." He said quietly.
She figured the rest of the crew weren't aware of her departure, and she preferred it that way, already too much time was being lost. With that thought she nodded once at D'Argo, turned, and climbed back into her prowler. Pulling down the hatch, she started the systems; sparing a glance to be sure D'Argo was vacating the area. When her prowler was ready she flew out of the landing bay, whispering a goodbye to Moya.
Once in open space she flew quickly in the opposite direction from where they were going. Moya was quickly becoming smaller as they moved away from each other.
Her navigation console was flashing a light at her. Answering the silent command, she pressed a few switches and the new data Pilot had left her appeared on a screen. Immediately she smiled, the first true smile since she had left her quarters that morning. The coordinates of Crichton's vector were there, her prowler was already creating the quickest path, and as she stared, she noticed the coordinates were changing.
"Pilot!" She whispered to herself excitedly. Pilot had apparently installed a tracing beacon into John's module that was automatically correcting his changing position as he flew. She made a note to herself that she would need to thank Pilot when she got back.
Hope fully restored, Aeryn's prowler flew quickly after Crichton's module.
From command, Rygel stared out the window at the diminishing prowler. A warm feeling was emanating inside him at the thought that soon, maybe, John would return, and he was happy that it was Aeryn flying to get him.
"Come back soon, you fahrbot yotzes" He muttered fondly, before gliding his thronesled away.
