May 19, 2003

School.

If only school weren't so… hellish.

Why is school so awful.

Why can't school be easy?

Heck, why can't life be easy.

I mean is it that hard for people to leave me alone?

It's either kids picking on me or adults asking me if I'm okay.

I'm not going to be okay if you ask me that question one more time.

Little did I know that life was easy, unlike now.

Little did I know that I would be in sunny California with dozens of other girls waiting.

Waiting for our destinies to be fulfilled.

Now, I wish life was easy, but not really a wish because wishes end up badly, at least that what everyone here says.

Anyway, if only life were easy, like it once was.

Not like now.

As I prepare for battle I wonder what my life would be like if I wasn't chosen.

Would people still "bother" me like they used to?

Would I be as outgoing and as confident as I have become in the past months?

All I know is that I like the person that I have become.

I like the people who have grown with me on this journey of life and womanhood.

I know the cheese factor is very high but it's true.

I have seen these girls grow just as much as I have and some even more.

I've seen girls risk their lives for the better good.

I've seen girls lose their lives for the better good.

But I'm scared.

Buffy isn't back yet and the time is almost here.

Where could she be?

I mean, I know we were all I little harsh but the truth hurts.

She's been gone too long.

I mean, what if she's hurt?

What if she's dead?

No.

That would mean someone else would be activated as the new chosen one, the slayer.

And I really don't think there is any activation going on…

I hope she gets back soon.

I hate to admit it… but we need her.

Bad.