Luckless Ai (Luckless Love)
A young girl of 20 sat on the hood of the yellow FD, hugging her knees close to her body, her chin resting on them. She would occasionally glance towards the young blonde who was leaning casually beside her, his arms folded across his chest.
The pair were at Lake Akina after Keisuke had wanted to speak to her alone, straight after his practice runs down Akina.
What he wanted to speak to her about? She hadn't a clue. Although there was an idea that continued to spark her thoughts, she wasn't entirely sure of it.
They had been dating for only a few months now after they had met by chance at Akagi pass. She was sad and lonely and so Keisuke had comforted her. She fell hard for the 21-year-old and within weeks, they were a couple.
But their relationship was rocky from the very beginning.
It would be difficult for them to go on an actual date as Friday and Saturday nights would often be occupied with races for Keisuke, and other times when he was available, she would be working or have other plans.
"What about after the race?" she had asked once.
He shook his head. "It'll finish late…"
He wouldn't know, but often, Ai would go to watch him race from a distance just so she could see him, even if it was for a little bit. He never invited her to his races; she never asked if she could come.
She wasn't willing to admit it, but she was just as sad and lonely with Keisuke in her life as she was without him, if not more. There was still a part of her that didn't believe it.
Love? Did they even share any? Sure, Ai was incredibly in love with him – the way he spoke with a deep voice, the way his enticing brown eyes would bore into hers at times, the way his kisses were full of warmth – but was there love from him? He would often stare at her, making her feel self-conscious, but amorously? She could never tell.
Of course, she could never know what Keisuke was feeling from the neutral expression he wore all the time. While she would struggle to hide her stress and on occasion, excitement, he would remain…expressionless – as if he hadn't a care in the world.
Except for the times his temper would flare. Like the time they were at a restaurant and their waiter tried to make a pass at her. Keisuke gave him one cold stare with his fiery brown eyes and that was enough to get rid of him.
At rare times like those, Ai would hold on to the little hope their relationship had; there was still something there. Anything was better than nothing. But what could hope do? It could have simply been Keisuke's male-protective-instinct for all she knew. It was love they needed.
Ai…
It was ironic; she was love. And yet, she brought anything but. Luckless, she was, when it came to love. She would often wonder what state her parents were in to have named her such.
"Ai," he finally spoke.
She broke away from her thoughts and looked up at him. His back was still facing her and she could see him tapping his fingers on his arm. Was he nervous? Or maybe it was frustration? But neither seemed to sound right.
He continued when there was no response from her. "I care about you very much, I hope you know that."
She looked down. Did he…really? Or was he simply softening her up to make the break sound a little more subtle? The thought blurred her vision.
"Hai," she spoke, her voice wavering slightly.
There was a short silence.
"I know that we haven't spent as much time together as you and I both wanted." He stated, calmly. "And I'm sorry."
The tears came without notice. They rolled down her cold cheeks and she simply let them come, afraid that if she moved, he'd notice. Don't be sorry, she wanted to say. But she didn't trust herself to speak.
"I don't want you to feel like I'm holding you back anymore, Ai. We're young, and we have yet to experience the world." He said. "I don't want you to miss out on everything."
The only thing I'd be missing out on is you, Keisuke, she thought.
"I can never give you what you want, Ai. You will be the one hurt in this storm."
He suddenly pushed away from his car and turned to face her. She looked up at him. The moon had cast a shadow on his face; Ai could only make out the outline of his appealing features.
Then without hesitance, he placed his hands onto his thighs and bent his back forward. "Forgive me, Ai." He pleaded, his voice shaky. "I have hurt you already. It was never my intention to inflict so much pain on you."
Ai watched him, stunned. How had it come down to this? Did she want him to apologise for things he shouldn't be apologising for? All she wanted was to be close to him. How…why? She was speechless.
"Please, forgive me Ai."
She slid off the hood of the car and fell to her knees beneath him. She looked up into his face and noticed how his eyes were tightly shut. The thought of him being so sad troubled her. She brought her cold hands up to his face and watched as he opened his eyes.
"I have cherished every moment we have spent together," she began. "I've seen my life without you, Keisuke; it was nothing. But with you in it…you make me want to live again."
It was his turn to look stunned. His soft brown eyes were fixated on her solely and he too, was now speechless. This was not the reaction he expected from her.
"You don't want me to miss out everything, but Keisuke, you are my everything." She stated, tears again streaming down the side of her face. "I want to experience the world together with you. There is no storm, Keisuke; there is only you and me. And when I'm with you, no storm can hurt me."
He fell to his knees in front of her; he felt weak. He cupped her face and brought her lips to his. He needed warmth and she was his energy. To think that he had wanted to break up with her because of the pain he was causing them both.
All those times that he had thought she was a burden on his life, he was wrong. All those times he thought that their relationship was never going to go anywhere, he was wrong. Decisions he constantly made to end their relationship were just an excuse to give up, because somewhere in his mind, he thought that he could never give her what she wanted. His intentions were true, but they weren't right. He had to make amends to things; she was giving him the chance. He was ashamed of his thoughts, and Ai had made it clear that she wasn't giving up on him…them.
Neither of them knew well, but they needed each other. They weren't always together, but the impact they had on each other was endless. Luckless? The only thing that was unlucky was the time they had wasted on waiting for the other to make the first move. They shared a love that no one would understand; not even themselves.
Owari ()
I cannot believe I have finished this…this is my first story (other than those written for English classes – they don't count though, right?) that I have completely finished AND am truly happy with…I cannot begin to explain how truly ecstatic I am…
This was inspired through reading other Initial D stories only recently…for a while, I had kind of gotten over Initial D…but after reading other stories, I realised what I was missing out on…I feel like such an idiot…
The original story in my head had the pairing Keisuke and Kyoko; but I don't know why, I developed a deep 'dislike' for her…I really don't know why…so then I came up with Ai…thus the title…it was suddenly all too perfect…v()v
I think I got Keisuke's personality wrong though; he seems more like Ryosuke…o(0)o
Hope you enjoyed it,
SnoQueen
