Black butler belongs to Toboso-sensei and FUNimation. Not me. ;-;
This story contains spoilers, which make it more aerodynamic and more easily maneuverable around curves in the road.
Once upon a time, there lived a boy named Ciel Phantomhive. He had a butler named Sebastian. But the maid called him Seabass. She likes him. Ciel sold his soul to Sebastian for revenge. He angsted all the time and then slacked off on work and ate cakes and chocolate, but somehow he's not fat. The day will come. So then Ciel and Sebastian had magical adventures fighting crime and baking extravagant pastries, and there was also a little bit of crossdressing but don't ever mention that around Ciel. So anyway, then this blond shota appeared and had a shota battle with Ciel, but then his shorts were too short and his socks were too high so he lost miserably. And then his butler tasted Ciel's blood and just kinda stood there for about ten minutes while he was coming down from his high on Ciel's delicious shota soul. So his poor abused maid Hannah tried to tend to the gaping hole in his stomach but then he just yelled at her and asked for Claude. His one true love. Then Claude ended up killing him and turning him into a ring. Then everyone else died except Sebastian and Ciel, who lived out the rest of their days in beautiful harmonious love. THE END
OMAKEEEE
So Claude was in the kitchen one time n Alois texted him. Even though texting didn't exist yet because it was the magical year of 1889, Claude used his demon magic and they both had iPhone 9s. He was like "Claaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude wut r u doin"
"Aloois I m tryin 2 wark"
"But I need u wit me"
"U shud b tryin 2 wark 2"
"But wark is boringgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg "
"Well 2 bad aloos. my wark is boring but i do it nyway"
"but i rly need u claude, i want u"
"aloos..."
So Claude went upstairs to Alois's room, thoroughly exasperated, and gave the boy what he wanted.
END
