Ulquiorra stared uninterested at the man who looked like Elvis. Orihime was stone drunk and was continuously giggling. She leaned against him as the man spoke of bonds and love. Ulquiorra had no idea how they got here or how HE ended up here in the first place.
He never figured out where Orihime got a gigai for him. It looked exactly like Ulquiorra including the tear marks and the broken helmet. It took hours of Orihime pleading and begging before Ulquiorra consented into being placed inside the giga. Luckily this gigai had some work done on it so Ulquiorra wasn't totally defenseless.
Ulquiorra never did figure out how Orihime convinced Tousen to open up Garganta. He had an inkling Tousen didn't actually believe they would actually go through the Garaganta or in Ulquiorra's case, dragged through, for when they stepped out they were three stories up in the air.
Orihime screamed the entire time as they fell to Earth. Ulquiorra had to endure the ear-splitting scream while trying to save himself and her from a nasty end. As luck would have it they landed on a set of trampolines. Orihime only got bruised and Ulquiorra's gigai was still in working order.
From there on, Orihime proceeded to drag him towards the city called Las Vegas. It had lights, booze, and gambling. It was then that Ulquiorra learned about Orihime's incredible luck at gambling.
Within half an hour, Orihime obtained a new car and fifty thousand dollars in cash.
All Ulquiorra would say at the spectacle was how wasteful that luck was. It didn't help her from being captured did it? Sadly, for Ulquiorra, nothing could ruin Orihime's mood.
She was rather bubbly and cheerful during the trip. She dragged Ulquiorra across the town going from one place to another. She went to hotels, sampled food, tried on different clothes. Ulquiorra was dragged along for the ride. Orihime had persistently forced Ulquiorra to actually try some food. She even bought him different clothes.
Ulquiorra was now bedecked in a loose dark green shirt and tight jeans. Orihime became a stuttering wreck when Ulquiorra asked her about the function of boxers. Ulquiorra had to admit that the faint red blush that adorned her checks were becoming of her.
And now they were in a place where a strange man in sparkly clothing was saying something out of a book. Ulquiorra didn't pay any attention to the words. When Orihime said yes, he repeated her words monotonously. It wasn't as if what the man was saying made any sense.
"You are now man and wife." The man paused. "You may kiss the bride."
Ulquiorra paused. The words filtered in. His impeccable logic made the words make sense.
Ulquiorra looked at the man, his green eyes piercing. "What did you say?"
The man blinked. "You're married now under the law."
Orihime hiccupped and leaned against Ulquiorra's taunt frame oblivious.
"M..mar..married?" Ulquiorra did not sputter or stutter. But right now. He was.
"Don't be sad be glad." Hiccuped the drunken Orihime. "Gladware."
Ulquiorra wanted to kill the person who made this gigai and to murder Tousen for being so foolish as to open the Garganta.
Meanwhile in Hueco Muendo, Gin laughed.
KKKKKKKKKKK
Edited! giga for Gigai!
Also posted on Twisted Love on Livejournal.
