Lena
It was 12:30 at night and I woke up once again for the 2nd time tonight. Stef and I decided to head to bed early tonight since her surgery was early tomorrow. But for some reason I could not sleep at all I was just too nervous and scared for her surgery in the morning. I looked over to my left and Stef was sound asleep. I was surprised she was sleepy; I thought she would be the one up tossing and turning. But she has been up for the past few days tossing and turning and getting things ready for the surgery.
I quietly got out of the bed, I grabbed my robe and went downstairs to grab a cup of tea so it could help me sleep and I could get at least a few hours of sleep.
When I went downstairs, I saw that the TV was on and the sound was playing at a low volume so I could barely hear any sound. I walked into the family room and it was Mariana sitting on the couch curled up on the couch in a pink blanket.
"Hey sweetheart," I said to my youngest daughter.
"Hey mama, what are you doing up," she asked me looking up from the TV.
"I could ask you the same thing; you have school in the morning miss thang."
"I know but I couldn't sleep, and I already told you and mom I wasn't going to school, you can't make me."
"Yes you are going to school; we already talked about this with you and your siblings," I said to Mariana firmly.
"Mama there is no way I can concentrate in school tomorrow while mom is in surgery that is just not even right to do to us. I want to be there I don't care how long we have to stay in the waiting room for, I just want to be there for mom," Mariana said on the verge of tears.
I walked over to the couch and I sat down next to my daughter.
"Sweetheart mom and I want you and your siblings to be in school tomorrow, there is no need for the 5 of you to be in the waiting room for hours. And just like we told you yesterday when school is over Brandon or Callie is going to drive you over to the hospital and the surgery should be over by then and you can go see mom," I said to Mariana and she just continued to stare in space.
"Still isn't fair, I just want mom to know that we support her."
"Baby, trust me mom knows that you are supporting her, I bet soon as the surgery is done she will be asking for the five of you and forget all about me," I said smiling to my daughter and laughing inside because I know that is exactly what will happen.
I just looked to my daughter and I could tell something else was wrong with her.
"Why can't you sleep, what is wrong sweets."
"Nothing, I'm just having one of those nights where I can't sleep," she said avoiding eye contact with me.
"Why can't you sleep come on talk to me," I said grabbing her hand and she intertwined her hands with me.
"I just have a lot on my mind."
"Like what, is it mom," I asked her. I saw her hesitating to talk to me and I just squeezed her hand to give her some encouragement.
"Are you still going to be attracted to mom after her surgery," Mariana asked me and I couldn't help but gasp at the unexpected question.
"I'm sorry see this is why I didn't want to say anything," she said starting to get up from the couch.
"No sweetheart sit back down please, it's okay I was just caught off guard," I said grabbing my daughter and I brought her back to me and I sat her down so she cuddled up against my side.
"I'm sorry," she said to me.
"It is okay, you don't have to apologize, but what made you ask me that," I asked her trying to figure out what was going on in her head.
"Well you and mom are both lesbians and even though I am not one, I know that one thing lesbians admire is breasts, I'm just scared that since mom is not going to have them anymore you wouldn't be attracted to her or find her pretty anymore and leave her.
"Oh Miss Thang, I will always find your mom beautiful, you should not have to worry about that.
"I mean I know but you and mom haven't been as close as you usually are and I am afraid that since she is losing her breast you wouldn't want to be with her anymore because a part of her body will no longer be attached," Mariana explained to me sadly and with so much concern in her face.
"Ok, look at me sweetheart," I said turning to look at Mariana and she sat back up from my shoulder and faced me.
"I am going to tell you the same thing I told your mother, there is so much more to your mother than her body and that includes her breast. I am in love with her soul, her spirit, and her emotions, not just her outer appearance. Your mother is strong, smart, goofy, and an excellent mother and wife. I could not imagine my life without your mother. So to answer your question yes I still want to be your mother."
"But why have you been so distant lately, like you guys don't kiss, hug, do those gross hugs you used too do," she asked me and I couldn't help but chuckle but I wanted to be serious with her. So I kept the laugh to myself.
"Just like we tell you and your siblings when you guys figure out that we are fighting that couples sometimes have fights and go through a rough patch. And your mother and I are no different and yes was having one, but trust me we are fine, we are great actually. And I really don't want you to worry about us, just know we are not splitting up and especially not because she is losing her breast."
"So like you two will still… you know… um… "
"Will we still have sex," I asked Mariana finishing the question for her, and her face turned bright red.
I couldn't help but laugh at her embarrassment.
"Even though this is not a conversation I want to be having with my teenage daughter, yes your mom and I will still have sex, that is nothing for you to worry about," I said to her.
"I know it's just how, I mean I know of couples who break up because they are not having sex, it can happen to you and mom."
"Sweetheart there are other ways two females have sex, and I sure you know that, but your mom and I will be just fine in that department," I said patting her knee.
"I know it's just I can't help but think about that time I walked in on you and mom making out in the kitchen and you had your hand inside her shirt," Mariana said with a grossed out look on her face. And I couldn't help but laugh and be slightly embarrassed about that moment because I remembered when it happened.
"We were just caught up in the moment, but your mom and will be fine in our physical lives and it is nothing for you to worry about or your brothers and sister if they was curious as well, you all do not need to discuss our sex lives."
"Mom we are not kids we know you and mom have sex," she said looking at me like I was dumb.
"Ok, I'm not saying that you don't we just don't want you guys to worry about things like that."
"So you promise that you and mom are fine," she asked me holding out her pinky and I couldn't help but smile and I attached my pink with hers.
"With all my heart," I said to my daughter kissing her forehead and wrapping my arms around her giving her the reassurance that nothing was going to happen to our family.
SO THANKS FOR READING. I JUST WANTED TO WRITE A QUICK ONE- SHOT.
I GOT THIS IDEA BECAUSE I BELIEVE MARIANA IS THE BIGGEST STEF AND LENA SHIPPER EVER AND I COULD TOTALLY PICTURE THEM HAVING THIS CONVERSATION. AND I REALLY LOVE LENA AND MARIANA SCENES. HOPE IT WASN'T TOO CHEESY OR BORING. SO REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW.
