- These Small Moments, Ours -
By Sayuri
It is this exact presence that he loves. The absence of annoying (and sometimes playful) bickering, orders and insults.
This is the silence that says so many things. The one that he can walk into and feel at home in. It's enough that the two of them (a boy of 17 and a Shinigami) are content with just being together. Feeling the warmth of the afternoon sun, enduring the hardships in the rain or sharing smiles under the night skies.
She's helped him in so many ways, together creating that thin line between friendship and love that he's never treaded on before. Honestly, he doesn't know which way he wants to lean towards. But as for now, just being together is enough.
Now he watches as Rukia pouts at the rain falling ever so gently on an autumn evening. Her slender elbow rests upon one bent knee, the hand supporting her chin. He sniffs, taking in the fresh air. The bento boxes and soda they'd bought a while ago is chilled and long forgotten, still hanging in a plastic bag that is loosely in his hand.
How long has it been since either one of them has spoken? The two of them are in a strange trance. It takes them back, moments of the past flashing through their minds, some hazy and others as clear as the air.
The rain falls, pattering lightly and freely onto the pavement as they remember.
....
"Oi."
She's in deep thought about something, enough so that there is no response to his call.
"Ru-ki-a!"
She starts at his loud voice and snaps, "You're being annoying, I-chi-go!"
He brings his brows together with irritation, his voice stuck at the back of his throat. Their walk home from school is nothing out of the ordinary and yet something feels off.
"What are you thinking so intently about?"
"Oh it's nothing." She replies.
It irritates him to no end when she says this, obviously a lie. But he leaves the matter alone for the moment and shifts his school bag over one shoulder.
It takes a moment to register the fact that Rukia's no longer walking beside him. He stops and turns. Roughly, he starts to call out, "Oi! Hurry up and -"
But then the teen is stopped in mid-sentence at the sight in front of him: The sunlight is hitting one side of Rukia's figure in an elegant way. A soft smile is on her face, an expression he rarely gets to see. A lone red flower that has somehow managed to grow on the river's bank-side is swaying in the wind and Rukia's eyes are glued on it.
The gentleness of the entire scene moves something in Ichigo's chest.
"Oi." He calls again but much more softly than before, he doesn't want to break the atmosphere.
"Hm, did you say something?"
The wind blows. He blinks in response and mutters that it's nothing and turns away.
A moment later he hears her footsteps catching up to him, falling back into stride with his.
Remember this moment, he thinks. Remember.
....
"Tomorrow…" He starts, voice hardly a whisper.
"Hm?" Rukia looks up at him from his bed with curiosity.
"Tomorrow's the anniversary of my mom's death."
Already? She keeps silent and waits, wondering what he has to say. Ichigo turns from his homework and glances at her.
"Would you like to come with us again?"
....
By chance, Rukia's one of the last people to leave the classroom. The other is Tatsuki.
"Have a good day!" Rukia offers with her polite, cheerful mask.
"Ah, Rukia." The other girl stops her with a smile. "You guys seem to be on better terms these days."
" 'You guys?' "
"You and Ichigo, who else?"
"…Is that so?" It's hard for Rukia to keep up her 'good-girl' act with Tatsuki because the Shinigami feels as if they could be true friends had circumstances been different.
"Yeah."
Rukia wonders what that was about. By now they'd made it down to the main courtyard.
"You know what would be interesting?" Tatsuki suddenly asks with a mischievous grin.
She waits with interest. Tatsuki leans over and stops a couple of inches from the Shinigami's ear and whispers. Rukia starts and looks surprised. Tatsuki laughs, pats her friend's back good-heartedly and walks off.
She stands in silence, thinking over the newly received advice. But she lets it rest in the back of her mind for the time being.
Ichigo's waiting.
....
"Is that…?"
Rukia follows Ichigo's gaze, to the red flower on his desk and nods.
"I heard that there was going to be a big storm in a couple of days. It would have been a waste if it was washed away."
Ichigo finishes drying his hair and drapes the towel over his chair. Rukia has returned to reading a fashion magazine and he occupies himself by observing the plant for a moment. Vaguely, he wonders what kind of flower it is. The vibrant red is startling and graceful. He reaches to touch it but before he can, a petal trembles and floats down.
A magazine suddenly connects with the side of his head.
....
It suddenly occurs to him that he will die one day.
They are standing together at the foot of his mother's grave, silently paying their respects when the thought comes to mind. Of course, he knows that it will be inevitable but death seems much more ominous than it usually does. He'd rather not think about it while she is by his side.
Part human, part Shinigami, part hollow. When he dies, his soul will not be able to enter Soul Society. He understands that he will be leaving her too soon. Perhaps this is what compels him to speak.
"Would you put flowers on my grave, Rukia?"
She looks up at him surprised and he guesses that she's never thought of it before. Her face is troubled and she looks away.
"What are you saying all of a sudden? Don't talk like that."
He looks up into the gray skies and closes his eyes, taking in an even breath. It is moments like this that make him wonder what she thinks about certain things.
"I'd like it if you did."
"Shut up, Ichigo. I don't want to hear anymore."
....
How long has it been since he'd last held her? Ichigo tries to remember this, as well as the way her hair used to fall around her shoulders and the scent of her skin after a hot bath. The details and find strands of reality are mixed together with the fantasies he'd dream of on the nights he was alone.
He wishes he could remember the exact wording she'd used when she told him not to follow her to Soul Society or the face she'd made when he said something particularly stupid.
Ichigo wants to protect a loved one again. Wants to remember all those special moments that are now faded away.
....
"Ichigo…kun."
The book he is reading falls from his hands and lands awkwardly on the bedroom floor. For the first time, the silence between them is slightly uncomfortable and awkward.
Her face is red. As red as the flower she'd brought home weeks ago.
"What did you just -"
Stupid Tatsuki.
"Nothing. Forget it."
She doesn't know how much he wants to hear it again. Just once more.
....
They rarely get to see one another these days. Actually, it's been like that the past few years. The distance has been gradually growing.
"You coming Ichigo?"
"Ah, it'll be a few more minutes. I couldn't finish my homework because of the damn hollows last night."
"Okay. I'll see you at school, then."
Rukia's been promoted and is now a seated officer. She's much more busier and no longer stationed in Karakura. When they do meet up again, melancholy trickles down their spine because they know that their meeting will end too soon and their next encounter will be who knows when.
"I'll see you soon."
"Ah."
It's because of this that during their times together, their happiness, disappointments and anger all tend to be a bit exaggerated - to make sure that the memories will stay with them.
"See you."
They both have stubborn pride that keeps them from saying the things that are too important to be held back.
Please stay safe. Don't be reckless. Don't die.
...
An anemone. The red flower finally has a name and if Ichigo looks closely, he can see that it has tints of orange at the corners of the remaining petals.
It is dying.
He takes the delicate stem carefully and positions it between the pages of a dictionary, preserving its beauty. He thinks of her.
...
She turns a corner and gives chase to the flicker of orange hair.
She calls his name and when he turns, all else is forgotten. A tangle of arms, a moment of silence as weights are lifted from their chests, smiles hidden in each other's hair.
A perfect day.
...
Without thinking, he finds himself blocking the oncoming attack. Everything is a blur as blood and rain mixes in a puddle at his feet. There is no more strength left in him to get out of it.
"Ichigo!"
Rain is pouring down around them. Rukia makes her way to her companion. She is filled with worry but expresses it in her own way. "You idiot! What the hell were you thinking!?"
Thousands of pebbles are grinding against each other, the sound deafening. Ichigo grits his teeth and yells back with a voice that rises above it all.
"That's what I should be asking you! You're injured Rukia! You can't fight a hollow in that state!"
The muscles in her face tense up and she makes sure that he's properly facing her. "I don't need you to be around me whenever a hollow's around! You can't -"
She is sharply cut off as hands grasp either side of her shoulders. She looks at him through the fog and rain, but he misses the look of surprise as he lowers his head until it is resting on her forehead.
"How the hell else will I be able to protect you?" His voice is hardly a whisper, and she almost misses what he says.
Then all turns black.
She doesn't understand.
It's because he weighs her life more than his own.
She doesn't understand.
...
That moment is one he'll never forget. Remember this, he tells himself.
The light rain is hardly a presence around them as the distance between their lips close. The first time they meet is with uncertainty and a subtle tremble. The second time it's with a firm press - one that lifts the both of them right off their feet. The third time, they are lost together.
...
"Ah, it's clearing up." Rukia gets up from her squatted position and Ichigo thinks it's a great talent that she's not wincing from soreness.
The rain thins out and the two of them walk out into the looming sunlight that is peeking out from behind the clouds again.
"Geez, how long were we waiting?" Ichigo mutters with a shiver.
"It's been about an hour."
"No it hasn't." He argues with some amusement at the silliness in her voice. "At least, I don't think it was that long." He isn't really sure. Time sometimes flies by when there are together like that.
"I'm hungry Ichigo. Let's go and eat our food!"
Their plan of going to the hillside for a quick lunch had been ruined. The young man raises the plastic bag of goods and then lowers it again.
"Don't worry about this. Yuzu will make us a warm dinner."
There is a short pause, in which Ichigo waits for her reply and Rukia has her back turned. Then he understands.
"You still want to go?" He asks slightly surprised.
"Yes! Don't you think it would be a waste if we didn't?" Rukia's tone changes into the one she uses to complain to the teen, slightly disappointed and moody. "I even took the liberty of dressing up for today."
At that, Ichigo has to offer her a small, genuine smile. The one he knows she fell in love with.
"You'll get your dress wet if we sit on the grass."
"Idiot. Be a gentleman and offer to lay out your coat."
She understands his answer. They don't have to spell everything out between the two of them. He starts walking towards their original destination and swings the bag over one shoulder.
"It'll be cold."
"You'll get over it. And you definitely can't catch a cold."
Ichigo shakes his head but secretly allows himself a smile.
"Give me a break."
...
They don't know how long things between them are going to last. But for now, they live for the moment.
