Between Women

What happens when Integra meets Kagome and gets a nifty little present for keeping certain unruly servants under control? Read and find out!

Disclaimer: I don't own Hellsing or Inuyasha and you all know it, so don't try and sue me. All you'll get are my Pokemon coins. And you won't even get those. So there.


"I will not tell you again, Alucard…"

"I'm sure you will, Master. Come on, it's a nice night and you need to get away from your desk."

"I am far too busy and you know it, so quit irritating me and leave!"

"A few minutes and I'll be happy."

"I said no Alucard, and if you keep pressing it-"

"Just a short time. A pleasant walk around the grounds. Five minutes."

"NO! Now leave!" a very irked Integra shouted at her Vampire servant. The pompous bastard was leaning against her desk, smirking at her, mischief playing in his crimson eyes as he tried to convince his Master to accompany him on a walk. "I will NOT tell you again!"

"Didn't you just say that?" Alucard asked, smirking wider as Integra growled and glared at him with ice-blue eyes. That glare would make any normal person die from intimidation, but Alucard was far from normal, even by Vampire standards. Instead he stood, grinning. "Like I said, just a pleasant walk around the grounds for a few minutes. Who knows, you might enjoy yourself?" He laughed and moved to a wall as Integra reached for the heavy ashtray on her desk, her left eye twitching madly.

"I SAID NO!" she bellowed and heaved the ashtray at him. Alucard phased through the wall, which the ashtray bounced off with a loud crack. His laughter echoed around the room as Integra growled.

"You missed, Master." Integra glared at the wall he had disappeared into, her eye still twitching a bit. Finally she took a cigar from her desk, lit it, and stuck it into her mouth. She stood as little puffs of smoke rose from the cigar's lit end and went to the window. She couldn't work now, that damned Vampire had made her too irritated. For a moment she considered calling him back so she could shoot him a few times and work off some frustration (it was different shooting at paper targets that couldn't feel pain from holy bullets), but decided against it. That would only encourage him to annoy her more, and that was the last thing she wanted or needed. Finally, she settled on a strange idea.

There was a small club not far from the Hellsing Mansion, maybe about ten minutes away when walking. Integra had been there only a few times, when she needed to relax in the past. Now, she decided it was time to visit that place again. They played good music, had good food and decent drinks for decent prices, and there was always a sense of carelessness in the air. With a nod Integra turned from the window and went to her desk. She opened it and pulled out a holster with her favorite gun sheathed inside, strapped the holster around her waist, and pulled two extra clips from the desk as well. These she slipped inside a pocket, as you never knew who or what you would run into at night these days, before going to a small closet that was partly hidden behind a large metal drawer. She opened the door and pulled from it a light, dark-brown overcoat. It was close to Fall and the nights were getting a little nippy now. She pulled the overcoat on and went to the phone on her desk. Quickly she dialed Walter's phone and when he answered she told him she was going to go out for a few hours. When asked if she would like a car or some escorts, Integra said no and hung up.

With that taken care of, she headed out.


"What a great vacation!" Kagome said as she slid into a seat, looking around as she settled in. "Great Britain is such a nice country."

"It's certainly got a pleasant air," said Sango. The two women were taking a break from the men, and all of them were taking a break from hunting for Naraku. It had been months now and they still hadn't found a trace of him. "And the best thing is no demons!" The group had yet to have their first Freak encounter. Kagome nodded.

"It's nice to take a break once in a while. I'm surprised Inuyasha agreed to it."

"I guess even he needs time to work off the stress. We've been looking for Naraku all this time and haven't found hide nor hair of him."

"Yeah, it is annoying and upsetting," Kagome was saying, until her eyes trailed to the door of the small club and she saw a young, strong-looking woman walk in. She blinked, startled.

"I wonder who she is?" Sango asked, as she too had noticed the platinum-haired, ice-eyed woman who was now making her way to a table close to theirs. Kagome shook her head.

"I dunno…but she looks…scary," Kagome said. Kirara, the little demon feline who followed Sango everywhere, gave a little mewl and jumped onto the table, her twin tails twitching as she cocked her head at the other woman, who was sitting just ahead of them.

"Indeed…" Sango muttered.


Integra entered the club and instantly noticed she was being watched. Discreetly she shot a glance out of the corner of her eyes at two other young women sitting at a table. Something told her these were people she could get along with, told her they would understand her problems. But she didn't want to just go over and intrude. After all, she was a Hellsing. She had certain priorities to uphold.

Instead she went to a table right in front of theirs and sat down. Her sharp ears picked up on the bit about her being scary and she almost laughed. She managed to keep herself under control though as she heard an odd mewl come from the table behind her. Acting as one who mingled with her own race on a usual basis instead of only when she needed to get rid of excess tension, Integra turned and blinked.

She hadn't been expecting Kirara. The demon feline looked at her and mewed again, then started to clean a tiny paw. Integra smiled at the little thing. It was absolutely adorable, the kind of thing Alucard would tease her for…damn, there she was thinking about him again when she was trying to relax.

"Her name is Kirara," said the woman with long black hair done into a braid, who had noticed Integra watching the feline. Sitting on the floor beside her was what appeared to be a giant boomerang. Integra lifted an eye at it, but didn't linger too long upon it. Instead she looked at Sango and nodded.

"If you'll forgive my ignorance, may I ask what sort of beast that is?" Sango smiled.

"Kirara is a demon feline," she said, blissfully unawares that most people in Kagome's time didn't believe in demons. Kagome gave a little groan, expecting Integra to laugh and make some snide comment about Sango's sanity. So she was, needless to say, shocked, when Integra smiled more and said:

"You deal with demons then? I would prefer those to bloody Vampires…"


"Vampires?" Kagome squeaked. The young woman sitting across from them nodded solemnly.

"Freaks, ghouls, the like," she said, narrowing her eyes. "They're everywhere nowadays."

"Really?" Sango asked. She was also unawares that most people in this time didn't believe in Vampires either. "Well yes, we fight and slay demons. But I don't think we've ever dealt with a Vampire, have we Kagome?"

"Not that I know of," the youngest woman said with a nervous chuckle. Integra nodded.

"Lucky for you, then. It's not a fun job. My duty as a Hellsing is to destroy the Freaks and anything related to them that may threaten us mortal beings."

"Hellsing?" asked Kagome, head cocking. "You mean as in the Hellsings?"

"Indeed," Integra said with a smile. She always got a kick out of whenever someone learned of her heritage.

And that's what started it…


"…he thinks he can get away with everything just because he's a bloody Vampire!" Integra was ranting. Kagome was nodding and Sango was looking sympathetic.

"I thought we had a hard time with Inuyasha and Miroku," she said. Integra sighed and took a sip of her third coffee within ten minutes. Coffee was normally something she didn't drink a lot of, because, being English, tea was more her thing. But she was feeling in a strange mood. It was refreshing to be able to complain about Alucard and her life in general to people who could relate.

"One day I'm going to end up killing him, again," she said, glaring at the door. Kagome gave a laugh.

"You won't have to go that far," she said. Integra looked at the young woman with a raised eyebrow.

"And what makes you say that?" she asked as Kagome reached into her backpack, which she never seemed to go anywhere without.

"Because," Kagome said as she sat back up. In one hand she was holding a very intricate-looking necklace made of pink crystal shards and small crystal orbs. "This little thing will solve the problem for you."

"Where did you get that extra rosary necklace?" Sango asked as Kagome handed it to Integra to inspect.

"Kaede gave me an extra one just in case something happened to the one Inuyasha has," Kagome answered. "But I think Integra needs it more."

"And how will this help me?" Integra asked as she looked back at Kagome.

"You're going to love this," Kagome said with an evil grin as she told Integra what to do.


It was about two hours later when Integra returned, armed with her new weapon in ensuring peace in having to live with Alucard once and for all. She made sure to let Walter know she was back before heading to her office. She removed her overcoat and placed it in the closet, took her gun and clips and replaced them into her desk, and finally sat down. She put the necklace on the desk and smiled a little. Then she adopted her expressionless avatar and called for Alucard.

"Yes, Master?" he said as he stepped from the shadows. Integra watched him, and then motioned to the rosary on the desk.

"A present," she said simply, making sure to keep her thoughts subtly guarded. She didn't want Alucard reading her mind and finding out what the real purpose of the necklace was for or otherwise getting suspicious. Alucard looked at her, then down at the rosary, back to Integra, and then chuckled.

"How sweet," he said, moving to the desk and picking up the necklace. "But it isn't my color."

"You can wear it under your shirt," Integra said. She needed Alucard to put the necklace on of his own will. If she ordered him to do it, he would know something was up. Alucard looked at her, still holding the necklace.

"How could I refuse any show of affection from my Master?" he said with a little grin. Integra, with quite a bit of effort, resisted the urge to strangle him and instead shrugged. Alucard stepped back.

"Thank you," he said, still smirking. And without another word, he stepped into the wall and vanished. Integra sighed, then smirked herself.

Things were going to be so much more peaceful from this night on…


Alucard stared at the rosary. He knew something was up with it. It was probably cursed or something. He had tried to gleam some info from Integra's mind, but had been met with the innocent thoughts of someone giving a gift to someone else. He hadn't even been able to find out where Integra had gotten it.

For a long while he stared at it. There was no malicious energy coming from it and it clearly wasn't blessed or holy in any way, because he could hold it without any injury. So why had Integra given it to him?

Finally he came upon a decision that couldn't have been farther from the truth. Perhaps Integra was finally coming around to him? This made him smirk. It was about time.

And without another thought, he slipped the rosary around his head and tucked it under his shirt.


It had been two days since Integra had given Alucard the rosary and he hadn't acted up once. Integra knew he was planning something, though, and for the first time in her life, she couldn't wait.

It was time for yet another annual meeting at the Hellsing Mansion. Attending it were Hellsing operatives and troops, sponsors, affiliates, allies, etc. Integra was giving her usual "Hellsing's great goal in keeping the Crown and Great Britain safe" speech when she noticed someone step from the shadows in the very back of the room.

The only reason Alucard would attend one of what he called "ridiculous human rituals" would be to cause trouble of some kind. A tic started in her left eye, but it quickly subsided when she remembered he had put on the rosary, and gave a wolfish grin. She almost felt sorry for him. Almost being the key word.

"…And so on behalf of the Queen, I thank all of you for your dedicated work and continued support in helping keep citizens safe. May God and her Majesty be with you all. Amen."

"Amen," everyone chorused back at her, and began to file out of the room. It was at this time Integra noticed Alucard had left. But she knew him and knew he was up to something. He had shown up and let Integra know he was there. There was no way he was going to let this whole thing go off without a hitch.

At that moment the Vampire began to materialize from the ceiling, until he was hanging by his knees. He smirked as the startled humans yelped at his sudden arrival and tried to hurry out of the room. He then looked over to Integra, and knew he was in trouble because the young Head of the Hellsing Mansion was smiling at him, in a decidedly evil manner.

"Oh Alucard," she said sweetly, and everyone in the room instantly stopped to look at her and the now-worried Vampire hanging from the ceiling. They all knew the Hellsing well enough to know she was never sweet unless she was planning revenge of some kind.

"Yes Master?"

"I just wanted to tell you something…"

"And what would that be?"

There was silence for a moment as Integra bared her teeth in a grin that made Alucard shiver. Then…"SIT BOY!" For a moment nothing happened, and Alucard decided that his Master had finally cracked. But then the necklace of rosary beads around his neck flared with a bright glow and the next second he slammed into the floor with a loud thud.

There was a stunned silence as Alucard lie there, face-planted, trying to figure out what had happened. Then Integra looked back to the others, still smiling.

"Good eve to you all," she said as Alucard staggered to his feet, looking slightly cross-eyed. A few people chuckled at this as the thong began to file out, until finally Integra and Alucard were the last ones to leave. Integra stepped from the podium and walked over to Alucard, still smiling. The stunned Vampire looked down at her as she stopped before him. Then, without any warning, she reached up and patted him on the head.

"Good boy," she said and, laughing, walked out of the room, leaving a particularly dazed, confused, and still cross-eyed Alucard in her wake.

If I ever see that Kagome again, she thought happily, I'll need to remember to thank her.


Well, how'd ya like it? Remember to review! If I get enough reviews I might do a sequel, I don't know yet. Let me know!