…all the kings horses, and all the kings men…
Disclaimer: As with everything I write…I do not own any of the characters nor do I profit from writing these…I just lack the creativity to create my own characters.
Summery: Sequel to The World Outside the Walls…Max Guevara never dreamed that she'd be free of Manticore, maybe she was wise not to.
Rating:R for safety reasons
AN: I suggest reading The World Outside the Walls and giving it a review before continuing. There was just too much for one story. And I'm actually thinking of doing a third as well but only if time allows and there is a demand.
Chapter 1
Home
Max Guevara scaled the Space Needle with no problem, not even breaking a sweat. It paid to be genetically engineered sometimes. Smiling, she perched on the edge looking down on Seattle, her home.
Home. Yeah it felt right. She'd been trying to figure out exactly how she felt about this whole new situation. Free of Manticore's chains, able to make her own decisions, it felt good. It felt right. She never would have dared try it had she not run into Logan again.
Logan Cale, the name rolled of her tongue and danced through her mind with a flash of images. He'd set her free in so many ways. Ways she'd never be able to repay him for. How could you repay someone for saving you from yourself? There really wasn't any method that Max was familiar with. Everything that came to mind just felt superficial.
So she'd decided that she'd stay here for him.
Max had been terrified that he'd send her to Canada with the others and when she'd arrived at his place earlier, she was sure that was the only thing on his mind but he'd surprised her. By giving her Bast he was asking her to stay.
Closing her eyes, she recalled their conversation of a few hours earlier. It was what he hadn't said that gave her hope. Hope that maybe this thing would work out after all. Hope that he thought what they had was worth the risk.
But what exactly did they have?
It was all new to her and Max didn't know which end was up. Love, what was that anyway? She knew the feelings she had for Zack and the others could be classified as love but these feelings didn't feel the same. Max knew that love felt different for different people but was this love. It really couldn't be; they hadn't spent that much time together, they really didn't know each other. But even as she thought it Max knew it wasn't true. She knew Logan and he knew her as well as anyone could. It felt like they'd known each other for forever. But did that mean she loved him?
What was the point of having this on going conversation with herself anyway? Logan was right. It was too risky. She really shouldn't have stayed. But she knew that she had no choice in the matter. Love or not, Logan meant something to her and she couldn't just leave him in Lydecker's greedy hands. Eyes Only needed her, so she'd stay and protect the voice of freedom.
Max accepted it as her new mission. Outside or not, she still relied heavily on her military training, Max realized as her mind went over her new plans in a routine and detached manner. The building across the street from him had a decent view of his place and she could stand guard there, he'd never have to know.
If he ever found out she could kiss her butt goodbye because he'd probably hate her for the rest of her life. Especially now that he was feeling so helpless. It would only prove his delusional point that he wasn't good enough for her and Max didn't want to give him anything to fuel his self-condemning funeral pyre. It had nothing to do with his legs and everything to do with the annoying feelings she was experiencing for him, but he would never see it that way. He'd only use it against her in the long run. And she didn't really blame him either. After all she'd done her fair share of pushing and she was sure that it wouldn't be the end of it either.
Sighing, she started her descent down the Needle. There were a few people she needed to talk to. Original Cindy would be worried and Normal would be threatening to fire her butt. Being shot didn't give her any excuse to miss work for as long as she had. Max wondered if anything would have given her a legitimate excuse, Normal didn't take missing work lightly after all.
Dropping safely the rest of the way down, Max decided on heading over to Crash. The gang would probably all be there now anyway and there wasn't really any point in putting the reunion off. She'd deal with Logan afterward and Normal in the morning. Right now she really just needed to have some fun. Her life had been lacking that certain element for a long time. It would feel good to drink obscene amounts of alcohol, dance with a few strangers, and try to forget how complicated her life had just gotten. Maybe she could forget Manticore and the fact that her life was still in danger. Maybe in the process she could forget the three words Logan had said before she'd been taken from him, before he'd gone all nutcase on her and changed the game.
I love you. Then why the hell did he just want to be friends?
Logan Cale, you are the weakest man on the face of this planet. Logan sat staring out at the darkened streets of this city he called home, wondering if Max would be back. In the long run he was sure she'd pop in but that didn't mean any time soon. And with him already missing her, Logan knew that this road they'd taken was going to be full of lots of fun painful experiences.
He'd cracked. She was supposed to be on her way to Canada, on her way to safety. But he was more then sure that she wasn't. She was probably driving through the streets of Seattle right now. He had planned to be colder then he was, he'd planned to be brutal, to remain emotionless. And sitting alone in his apartment, he wondered where he had failed, at what instant she'd broken through to him and made him beg for her to stay.
She'd asked him why he couldn't ask her to stay. Didn't she know? The answer was staring her in the face, or more correctly would be staring her in the face if she were sitting down, if she lowered herself to his place on the food chain.
Still her words had haunted him, and so had her tears. He'd never been able to resist throwing his arms around her and holding her tight, when in those rare instances she let him see her pain. So when she had cried and he couldn't hold her, that was the moment she'd broken through. That was the moment she'd won.
Her victory would be short-lived and hollow however if he couldn't convince her to leave town for a while. Logan wasn't naïve enough to believe that she would just leave nicely because he asked, no he knew there was no way in hell she'd leave unless he was with her or she was sure he'd be safe. Both of which were impossible situations.
Damn he'd really screwed them both up. In fairness, though he'd wanted her to be with him in everyway imaginable from the very beginning, he could never have foreseen the events that so radically altered the game. Therefore technically since there was no way he could have seen it coming, he wasn't at fault and distance was the only logical solution. Somehow though, those thoughts didn't lend much comfort, and they did absolutely nothing to the guilt he was feeling.
They should have spent the night together, in each other's arms. But Logan knew that was an impossibility now. Before that bullet maybe he could have convinced her to care, maybe he wouldn't have fought her desire to stay in Seattle, maybe he would have swept her off her feet, thrilled that she couldn't leave him and carried her to his room. That would have been nice, he allowed himself to admit, hell it would have been more then nice; it would have been heaven. But heaven didn't seem to like the thought of the two of them together. And why should it. Cyber journalist and soldier, rich bastard and thief, perfection and cripple, even their ages screamed no. Someone should inform his heart though. Maybe then getting over her wouldn't be so hard.
Hard was an understatement. Logan still felt her lips on his and her warm body encased in his arms, he still felt her gentle touch and saw her bright smile. Getting over her was going to be damn near impossible.
How the hell was he going to stay just friends?
