I was stuck in a large amount of smoke as I fell onto the damn ground. I was just enjoying a normal day in the mansion when suddenly a green portal appeared. Before I could study it I was sucked in like alcohol in Aqua's liver. Things felt green for a moment before I somehow ended up here choking on a large amount of smoke.

Anyway, why is there a large amount of smoke? That Green Door seemed a lot more user friendly, expect for the fact that it sucked me in from the comfy couch. Is this smoke going to go away anytime soon?

*Woosh*

Oh that's much better. What I saw immediately was a castle of sorts, not nearly as big as the Royal Castle where Iris lived but it seemed to be just as fancy. As I looked down I saw I was surrounded by a bunch of teenagers wearing matching uniforms, some animals hanging out, and an old man with a long beard and wizard cap. Did I land in a wizarding school or something!?

Wait a second… I've read something like this before. Isn't this one of the ways you end up in a fantasy world….

In response to these realizations I screamed.

"AAAAHHHHHHAAAAAHHHH!"

I got on my knees and went to the sky, "Aqua please bring me back, I'm sorry I dumped your wine last night! Eris please send an Angel to get me I've been kidnapped from your world! Vanir, you knew this would happen, send some Devils to get me!"

I invoked the names of all the God's and Devil's I personally knew, which as expected none of them seemed to have heard me. Now that I was surely stuck here I decided to start looking around at all the wizarding students. They were looking upon me with either faces of disgust or ones that said, 'What is this thing!'

I pointed my finger at the crowd, "You bastards! Stop looking at me like I'm a damn NEET! I have killed Demon Generals, so I demand respect!"

The started to speak to each other win poorly disguised whispers. They were all speaking some language that I could not understand but it was easy to tell they were mocking me.

Bastards!

After a few moments the old man stood forward with a scowing Pinkett standing next to him, "Tout le monde si vous pouvez vous calmer s'il vous plaît. Louise a convoqué un humain, mais il lui est toujours familier."

The girl next to him looked at me with a scow, "Est-ce que je ne pourrais pas en appeler un autre? Je ne peux pas croire que ce garçon est mon familier. "

I feel like I was just looked down upon. Oi, you know what happens to those who look down on me. I've got an entire contact list filled with them!

We tried to kill each other with glares as the old man sighed, "Vous devez terminer le contrat, Mlle Louise. Allez-y et approchez-vous de lui, je serai en attente si quelque chose devait arriver.

With his words the girl started to advance towards me, her death glare becoming more and more adamant as she approached. I didn't want to be shown up, so I gave her a death glare back ten fold. By the time she was within an arms reached I realized just how small she was.

The girl had pink blonde hair and had the same height as Megumin. I would call her young, but its obvious she just a midget as her classmates who were all at least my height.

We stared at each other in pure spite, "Oi Midget, what you want."

The kids around us seemed to be cheering like we were about to have a fight, but the girl chanted something, "Je suis Louise François le Balnc de Vallière, mon cher et éternel serviteur. Je complète par la présente notre contrat. " And then she kissed me.

Eh? I've was finally being kissed by a girl. After all the teasing Megumi and the lustful trips Darkness has put me through it has happened. I remember the last time I was kissed by Darkness, but now my desire of affection is to be seated by a stranger. Hmm, it tastes like strawberry. WAIT!

I broke away from the girl in an instant, "HEY! YOUR NOT GOING TO FU-" And then I experienced pain.

I have been killed a number of times in my short life, and with that you would expect that most pain would be less than literally dying. You would be wrong and right as Wiz's Drain Life was the most painful but being digested by a Hydra was a close second. Placing this it would be number three on the list of most painful things I've ever experienced. Which means it f***ing hurts.

"F***ING KAMI-SAN!"

I watched as a red mark appeared on my hand, it looked like some Command Seal from F*te but I didn't see any Saber Faces anywhere. The pain went away just as fast as it came, though that took the majority of the fight out of me.

The Kissing Midget was looking at me with that damn glare again, but I didn't pay her a lick of attention. Instead everyone around us were laughing like fourth graders who broke wind. Some acting like kissing blowfish, mainly a blond boy with a similar blond on his arm Others were obviously made jokes, mainly a tan Onee-sama with a rack only Darkness would rival. I made sure to remember each one of their faces because I will have my revenge.

The old man said something in their gibberish before everyone dispersed from the area. The petite girl shot me a look that said 'Follow me you dumbass.' And while I was hurt by that, she seemed to be the only person that cared two cents about my existence. I guess I've been in worse situations such as being stuck with Aqua.

So I followed her through the Halls of the building, the crowds becoming thinner along the way. The walls were decorated with flags and the floors with fine carpets. I could even see servants walking about cleaning vases. This place must be loaded with cash because damn this place was fucking shining!

We made our way into a more narrow hallway before going through a wooden door. It was when we made it to a pretty large sized room that I realized where we were. She led me into her room of all places.

Before I could complain however she turned on her heels and stared into my face with a look that said, 'You will bend to me.' I am however Satou Kazuma, slayer of Demon Generals, babysitter of the Princess, and advocate for gender equality. I doubled down her stare with my own.

Our showdown lasted for what seemed like an hour. Neither of us moved an inch and the sun outside had already sunken into the horizon. I will win against this girl, for I have made a Goddess cry for forgiveness and slayed a Devil who then then turned into a shopkeeper.

It was after what seemed like ages that I saw a crack in her resolve. Her face was steadily growing red and her head seemed to be growing veins. I broke a smile in triumph, and then the girl herself broke.

She quickly brandished a black stick at me like it was a-

SHIT!

An explosion rained out within the room and blew us to opposite sides of the room. The damn Midget seemed to have forgotten that explosion magic was not to be used indoors! What now, I got another Explosion freak on hand.

"Oi, you midget! Stop casting Explosion Magic in the F****** room!"

"It was supposed to be a Fireball you Plebeian!"

"Don't lie to me Megumin Junior! Explosion Magic is way too advance to cast by...!"

We stared at each other with ashes settling in the room. We looked at each other for a moment as we realized we could now understand one another. Huh, isn't there a chance I would have poofed from that?

The girl dusted herself off and ruffled her hair a little to clear away the remains of her bed from it, "Look what you made me do Familiar! Now I need to get a new bed."

A vein popped on my head, "My fault! Your the one who casted a mini Explosion spell! Wait- you said you were trying to cast Fireball at me! You tried to kill me!"

She flicked her chin into the air trying her best to look proper, "I was going to simply punish you for trying to bringing me down to your level! How am I supposed to teach you manners without conditional reinforcement."

"You were going to treat me like a dog! You didn't even try to to communicate anything at the damn field, you just walked up to me and kissed me!"

I grew a small grin as the pinkett went strawberry red, "I-It was to complete the contract! It was only to fulfil the ritual, like I would kiss a Plebian." She flicked her head away like a tsundere.

"And you were the one who kidnapped me from my home! You've committed human trafficking by bringing me here!"

Her face went even more red, "I did not mean to do such a thing! I was trying to summon a Dragon or a Griffin and I got stuck with you!"

I just gave her a stink eye, "Well you messed it up, ya Midget. I don't know how you did it or how I'm going to fix it either!"

The girl looked like she was about to explode, but something kept her words back. A shadow formed over her face as she grabbed onto a piece of the now ruin bed and started to make many baby piece by smashing the rubble.

I could hear her muttering as she released holy retribution on the frame, "sugaring familiar, sugaring school, sugaring magic, minting Kirche, sugar cookie CAKE EVERYONE!"

I was thinking about what to say but the Midget just waddled to the scorched chair next to her desk. She seemed exhausted to hell but I wasn't going to let her go.

I poked at her arm, "Oi, don't go shutting yourself off, I still need to know where the hell I am."

The girl lifted her head just to give me a deathglare, "Leave me be. Even you, my familiar sugaring calls me a failure. Leave me be you bastard."

A little vein grew on my forehead, "Failure?! Are you a Masochistic Knight, Useless Goddess, or an Explosion Maniac!?"

I could easily tell the girl was out of steam she she just waved, "Might as well be an Explosion Maniac. All my spells end up as sugaring explosions!" She sat up from her chair obviously toiling around in the air while making a mocking voice, "Oh look its Louise the Zero, master of being a sugaring bomb!" She slumped onto the desk with a resounding thud, "Bite me."

I looked at her for a moment, the fiery person I was just arguing with gone. In place was a useless Midget. It was at this moment I realised something, I'm stuck here with her. If I was a little honest though, I don't like people who'd just mope around. It reminded me too much of myself. There can only be one lazy rich ass adventurer around here!

With that I gave a sigh, "Fine, lets start this all over again." I pointed at myself lazily, "I'm Satou Kazuma, skilled adventurer from another world. Yours?"

She looked up at me with a look that said, 'What the fuck you doin.' Though she gave a sigh too, "Fine, I am Louise Leblanc De Valliere. So Satou, why in the sugar did you say another world?"

I gave her a stink eye, "Refer to me as Kazuma thank you! Anyways, your spell yanked me from my oh so comfortable couch and brought me here like a damn troup. Since you said something about a contract, I'm going to assume I am stuck here until I die."

"Correction." She raised her hand lazily, "Its until I die. Your my familiar so I can summon you back even if you die."

"Well there goes that worry," I said rubbing my forehead before looking at the girl like she was crazy, "And why is summoning a human a bad thing then? Sounds like you've got a sweet deal."

She looked at me with a look that once again questioned my my sanity, but at this point this girl was being stupid, "Why would you want some dragon that can't even fit in buildings or a griffin that'll shit everywhere. Isn't an immortal human a good deal?" I shot her a glance asking her the same thing.

She just gave a puff of air in response, "A Plebian wouldn't understand. A Familiar measures a Mage's potential. Dragons are seen as the strongest while summoning a fly is a mockery. I've just summoned the worst of them all, a Commoner."

I got a little irritated again, "You need a fucking therapist to check on that underdeveloped head of yours. You said the best was a Dragon? I've helped slain a Dragon and I've also killed most of the Demon Lord's Generals." I bashed at my chest, "I'm a legend in the making, and you just yanked me that people would beg to join."

In response the girl stared with content, "Your a lying Commoner too. I couldn't have summoned someone that good. Like you said, I'm Louise the Zero, failure of Mages." And with that she popped her head on the desk.

I just crossed my arms and walked towards the windows, "Fine, I'll let you mope. I'm heading out, just leave the window open." And with that cool phrase I leaped out the window.

Out of a third story window. Shit.

I was lucky though as there were some bushes I fell into that broke my fall. I looked up to see the Midget lazily stick her head out to search for me, but I activated 'Hide' before she could even catch sight of me. That will show you ya damn depressed tsundere Midget!

Well, here I am. I've ended up in another world by a Midget and back in school on top of that. F****** Kami-San. I mean, the evidence is pretty clear. Nothing has yet to come attack me while we were in those fields, everyone at one point spoke a different language while Aqua jammed all the other world's languages into my head, and lastly that there were two moons. So that all confirms I've been isekied into a different world, again.

Well now that I think about it, this could be some kind of vacation for myself. Chances are Megumin and YunYun will get the Demon Clan to work on getting me back. I don't have Aqua here so I won't be dragged into anything that involves loan sharks. Most of all though I wrote in my will so that if I died for good, all my money was to go into advertising that Aqua was a useless and her cult is insane.

So I've finally got a vacation that wasn't my own doing! THANK YOU KAMI-SAN!

I leaped from the bushes and looked around. If this is a school I would say it was more of a fortress than anything else. I mean, these walls look sturdy enough to survive an Explosion. That did mean though there might be a lot of stuff inside.

So I wandered around a little through this bit of grass. In the end I ended up in a courtyard. Looking about, I came across a small garden and some voices with one that seemed remotely recognizable.

The first voice was of a younger boy, "Why Alice, your eyes sparkle like the stars in the sky tonight. I could just look into them forever."

There was a low chuckle of a girl, "Why Guiche, your so dreamy."

I peaked out of my shadows to see who it is, and color me surprise when I noticed it was the blonde making fun of me earlier. With him though wasn't the blond with a massive forehead but a petite brunette. Two timing I see? Well I'll haft to keep this in mind.

I snuck back into the shadows and made my way across the campus. The place again seemed pretty nice for a simple school, I mean the stones making the wall are marble white! Not even Aqua could build a wall that nice.

So I wandered through the place a little more and snuck my way out the walls. I wasn't planning on running away, yet, since if I can make some agreement with the girl who brought me here. Yeah, she was a bitch but I've had worse fights with Aqua. I just needed to show her I was better than a Dragon. It's like she can't get it through her head that an adventurer is much better.

I had to let out a sigh, I also know when it comes to trouble I always seem to attract it. Something's going to happen sooner or later and I'd prefer if I stayed with someone who's obviously a noble than be hunted to the edges of the earth while some Minotaur comes to declare war on just me.

So I walked a little bit more, the amount of guards pretty minimal for a place filled with obvious rich folk. I mean, these Louise called herself a mage and can likely cut down a couple toads or two on their own but do you really expect them to police themselves? I've already met a Noble Snobs who couldn't keep his hands away from each other. Damn, I'm sounding like some rich old bastard complaining about 'schools these days'.

As I made my way around a corner I caught sight of a maid. I mean, I've seen a few going around the campus but I didn't expect to find one all the way out here. Hmm, maybe I should talk to her. I mean, this is a new fantasy world so maybe people will take kindly to a recently interdimensionally trafficked human.

I made my way over, the girl little more feminine frame coming into view. I had to admit though, it was lacking when compared to someone like Darkness. Hmm, maybe I should start comparing them to Darkness since it's pretty unfair to the girls of this world.

I finished making my way over to the Servant and tapped on her shoulder. My response was a, "KYAAA!" As the maid threw away a pair of panties she was washing while grabbing onto her chest.

I deadpanned at the girl, "Oi, I'm not here to molest you."

She looked at me for another moment before she sighed, "I'm, uh, sorry sir. I didn't hear you come."

"That's okay." Yeah I forgot to turn off Hide, "Do you work here?"

She nodded her head, "Yes, I'm one of the maids. My name is Siesta." And she bowed towards me.

I tried my best at a lady killer smile, "Kazuma, Satou Kazuma."

She tilted her head a little, "That's… an unusual name. Are you the Servant Miss Valliere summoned?"

To think I would be reduced to something as simple as, "Yes I am, it's nice to meet you Siesta."

She grew a nice smile, "Thank you, it's nice to meet you too."

Now that introductions were out of the way I got a good look at her. The girl had a nice feminine frame that the maid outfit seemed to exemplify. Followed to her hace, she had black hair and… black eyes…

"Hey," I looked at her with a deadpan expression, "Are you by chance part Japanese?"

Her eyes widened in surprise, "H-how do you know!? Grandpa told me he was the only one here!"

I scratched my head a little, "I'm, uh, Japanese myself. You wouldn't by chance have some secret sword that could slay dragon with ease on you?"

She placed her hand above her mouth, "W-why would I have something like that! I'm just a commoner, not a Noble!"

I just chuckled, "I was just wondering. You never know when it comes to the Japanese." Please just brush it off.

The girl chuckled a little herself, "Yes, Grandpa was an eccentric man."

After a few more moments, I grew a little idea, "Say, would you know anything about a student named Guiche? Like his love life maybe?"

The girl seemed to be suddenly caught of guard from my little desire for slander. Her eyes then became smug, "Is Mr. Kazuma looking for gossip?"

I grew an evil smile, "I take it he's had more than two at a time?"

"Definitely, the Servants love to talk about it."

[Louise: Louise's Room]

I collapsed on my desk when I couldn't find him outside the window. My Familiar left me to do who knows what. My Schoolmates laugh at me at every opportunity. I am the Louise the Zero, not even able to control her Brimir given Familiar.

I moved my hand up to wipe away the water in my eyes. Tears of all things. If Mother saw me now I would be disgraced and disinherited from the family.

I looked over to my bed, the splinters of the frame scattered everywhere. I've never asked to become a piece of living artillery. All I wanted was to become a proper mage like Elinore, Catt, Father, and Mother. Now I'm stuck without a bed to sleep on!

"AAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHH!" I kicked at the remainder of the bed frame. I watched as the piece of wood was sent flying across the room to make a dent in the door. Another fucking failure! And now my sugaring toe hurts! Why does this world hate me!

I once again looked over the bed. Since my Familiar isn't going to get a replacement, I guess I should take care of it. Unlike him, I'm going to sleep on a proper bed!

I made my way outside my door, the torches the only thing providing light. It looked like no one was out tonight, so I made my way towards the Servant's Quarters. If I could just go to sleep maybe I can forget about this damn day!

Of course the night could get worse as I watched a certain door open with a first year walking out, a stupid look on his face. My blood was raising to a sugaring boil as I watched Kirche peak her head from the doorway.

The cow's face lit up as she peaked saw me, "Oh, does a Valliere need my services tonight?" the girl liked her dirty tounge.

I simply looked at her with a death glare, "Not tonight Kirche. You go back into your little sty like the animal you are."

The Succubus simply grew a much wider smile, "My my, you are fisty tonight Valliere. You have a fight with your commoner or did he run away?"

This damn bitch! Wait till I show her what I can sugaring do! I'll have her begging for my forgiveness before-

The jug of milk tried to smile her ever widening smile with her hands, "Oh my, he actually left you. Maybe I should go and pick him up, make him my own~."

I just walked away. If I stayed with her any longer I would have killed her with a damn wand down her throat! I could feel her smugness even as I went down the hall, I was running from a battle like a coward. Another failure to add to my list of failures.

Nothing eventful happened as I found the Servant's Quarters. All I needed was a bed then I could forget about this damn day.

[Kazuma: Local Stream]

"Kukuku, this will be useful"

The girl gave me a scared look, "I did not tell you any of this Mr. Kazuma. We Servants tend to stray away from Students since they can punishment us."

I thought for a moment, "Do they have anything that can instantly tell if I'm lying, like a bell?"

The girl shook her head, "No, I have not ever heard of such a magic item used before."

I grew a devilish smile, "Then your involvement won't be found out." I thought to myself for a moment, "Say, you wouldn't by chance know where I could get a spare bed?"

The girl tilted her head, "What are you saying? Did Miss Valliere destroy her bed in a fit?"

I gave a shrug, "Yeah, I need to get her a new bed. If these Nobles make you Servants quake in your boots I should get on mine's good side."

The Maid scratched her cheek, "Yeah… I'm sorry you had to be stuck with Miss Valliere. It must be tough dealing with the other students."

I tilted my head a little, "So what, everyone hate her or something?"

Siesta nodded her head, "The students like to use her as their plaything. We Servants don't really have much of a problem with her, but we don't like to interact with the Nobles past our daily duties and available gossip."

The Maid seemed to feel a little sad for the girl, "Everytime she casts a spell it results in an explosion. The only reason she is still in the Academy is because her family is the strongest in Tristain."

I had to laugh just then. She could only cast explosion! What the hell, I get stuck with a Megumin from another world! Maybe Kami has forsaken me after all. Seems its too late to get the Midget to change her mind about magic though. Fucking hell.

Siesta got up from her washing and placed the clothing in her basket, "Well Mr. Kazuma, I'm done here. We can see about getting a spare bed for your room. I don't think the Servants would mind letting you sleep in their quarters tonight."

"Thanks then," I said honestly, "Let's get going, I want to sleep as much as I can here tomorrow."

And with that we headed out to get a bed, only to find out Louise already got a bed. Huh, I guess I don't need to sleep in the Servants Quarters now.