This is my first Vampir Knight fic~ ^_^
Pairing: Takuma + Kaname
Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Knight~ I write fanfics but I don't own it~ so yea, it's not mine~ :D
There would be some ooc's along the way and also some original characters~ Please R&R~ ^_^
Smile Takuma
Kaname's POV
"My dear friends thank you all for joining me this evening to celebrate my 21st birthday. I've always been looking forward to this day ever since I've been able to think for myself. I've always had birthday celebrations such as this one, grand and big scaled, important guests graced me with their presence and dear friends come to join me in this auspicious day but none of those past birthdays would ever compare to this one. My 21st birthday finally marks the day that I will be on my own. That I will never have to worry what others may think if I do certain things for myself. I will no longer be someone's puppet. I refuse to be a pawn. I've been a pawn by people close to me three times because I was too naïve and too selfless also maybe because I was too easy to fool but now I do not care if I don't please all of you." I heard gasps and there were the expected humming of gossipers with what Takuma had said he held up his hands gesturing silence. Surprisingly, this Takuma commanded the crowd the noise suddenly stopped and all attention went back to him, "I will be my own person now. I'm not stupid anymore but although I have formally announced my independence, please allow me this last time to be selfless. I'll allow my dearest friend Kuran-sama to steal the spot light from me. Let me be the first one to announce his engagement to his childhood love and sweetheart Yuki Cross."
If I had a mirror in front of me I could've seen my eyes went wide as saucers, I wasn't expecting anyone to know. It was only between me and Yuki. As possibilities of how Takuma could've known raced through my head he suddenly brought me back to reality when he spoke in a louder voice, "I've always known this day would come and now it has all I could do is accept it. This is all you've ever wanted, right Kaname? So please let this be the last day that I tell you of how I love you since I know once you are betrothed to Yuki it would only be her endearing words that you would only want to hear." People's chatter begun to echo throughout the ballroom then he continued with his emerald green eyes staring through mine as if trying to get his gaze past through me, I visibly shuddered under his intense stare, "Kaname Kuran I deeply love you and I've come to accept that your only wish has come true."
The buzzing of the crowd's hushed gossiping and applause roared through my ears, I looked at Takuma Ichijo who looked at me with his ever present smile after he downed his champagne. He tore his gaze away and stepped down from the altar as majestic and elegant as he walked up to it. Immediately he was surrounded by a mass of vampires giving him their birthday wishes. I wasn't able to get to him first as I wanted to, since I was swarmed as well with people giving me their congratulations. I gave them my best smile and excused myself finding the excuse that 'I need to have a word with Takuma.' was a complete lie. I really and desperately needed to have a word with Takuma. I managed to ease through the crowd that formed around me but found that my destination was no longer in my sight I willed myself not to sniff his scent to tell me of his where abouts but I couldn't help myself. His scent that I've memorized all throughout the years that he stood behind me was faint and in almost all directions. He had been dancing with a lot of female vampires and had hugged quite a lot of the males that most probably he rubbed his scent on them. That had always been the typical Takuma warm, like a ball of sunshine. Not like a vampire at all. I feel my lips curve up at the thought of the cheerful Takuma bouncing up the stairs after he had bought a manga but now he's changed quite dramatically. He hardly ever laughs anymore, he seldom talks to anyone and he would sometimes leave without telling anyone where he's been. There's so much I don't know about Takuma and I'm so afraid about that fact. I'm scared, I don't know what's on his mind. I don't know what he will be doing from here on end. I don't know what happened to him for him to become this "person". I don't know why he's leaving. I don't know why Kaname became Kuran-sama.
I need to find him and talk to him before it's too late and he decides to never come back. He may do something that I don't know that he would be capable of doing. I reluctantly tried to pick up another scent the one whom may know where Takuma is, Shiki. Shiki and I are cousins though we are it seems that we conduct ourselves in a casual manner. I found him where his scent was the strongest, I peered over to my left and saw him with Rima eating pokey sticks. Where they got them evades me. Shiki just stood there nibbling on the sweet unsuspecting that I'm approaching him. Shiki and I both share the same close friendship with Takuma. While it's Takuma's free time and not with me he would most probably be with Shiki. Takuma and Shiki are very close like Takuma and me. No, I think they are closer being intimate as they have always been. While I fall asleep with my head on my desk Shiki awake or not leans on Takuma's shoulder looking as if he's more comfortable there than on his bed not caring if anyone saw them. Takuma just let him stay there and I counted that as him being polite but I can't help but feel Shiki's just taking advantage of him. My cousin never gives anything to anyone and Takuma most probably never received anything from him. I stop dead in my tracks. I realized Takuma most probably never got anything in return from me as well. My chest suddenly became tight. Was I able to show Takuma how I value him as friend? He was like a brother to me he'd always been there for me I ask him one thing and he executes the work well. I cover my mouth, I feel nothing but disgust with myself. I do nothing but ask Takuma of favors and never reward him anything of his efforts.
Am I really a friend to Takuma? Do I even have the right to call myself his friend? I'm worse than Shiki. Worse than Asato Ichijo and far worse than Rido Kuran. I had used our friendship to gain access to the council, I had used Takuma being the grandson of a council member to my advantage and I have used him as a pawn much like Ichio and Sara did. Is that why he's leaving? Has he realized what I never want him to know about? That I had used him before?
I feel the guilt spreading from my heart to my finger tips numbing them and it over-flowed in my eyes. Am I the one who destroyed Takuma Ichijo?
I was snapped out of my thoughts as I felt a hand gently touch my arm, I looked to my left and saw Rima with a worried look she withdrew her hand and asked if I was doing fine. I nodded, Shiki gave me a glass of champagne and I took it and thanked him. I told him we needed to talk privately and asked Rima if she would like to come as well. She suggested we go to the balcony, I agreed and I led the way. "Where's Ichijo?" I asked straight to the point once we had gotten there.
Shiki gave Rima a look and she nodded he turned back looking at me with his nonchalant face, "He went back to his hotel to pack." I was taken aback, he was leaving this soon? I thanked them and turned to leave but Shiki stopped me. "Kaname-sama, he's not leaving until tomorrow night." He said his voice slightly shaking, "Please, Kaname-sama, he said he just needed to be alone. He wishes to be alone."
"Again? He wants to be alone now on his birthday?" I asked out in irritation. What's happening to Takuma?
Rima sat at the rail with a scrunching sound as her ball gown flattened, "Takuma wants to be away from you, Kaname-sama." The glass that I was holding shattered in grasp and the glass on the doors cracked.
"Rima!" Shiki scolded. I turned around and saw Rima's tears cascading down her face. Shiki's head was down. "We're sorry for being rude Kaname-sama but Takuma asked for him not to be disturbed tonight and he specifically asked for you not to come see him."
"What's going on?" I demanded, I felt helpless I don't know what's happening to Takuma and I feel the hurt swell in my chest as Rima's words stung my ears. Does Takuma know?
"Shouldn't you be knowing the whereabouts of your Yuki, Kuran-san?" Someone said behind me, the owner of the voice was Sara Shirabuki. Her tone was spiteful and I couldn't help but feel she knows as well what was going on. She's one to talk, she used him as well. I bit my lip and glanced as she strode to stand in front of me blocking Rima and Shiki from my view, "She's more important to you than Takuma-kun right? Why don't you just go to her side instead of poor Takuma's?"
I composed myself, "Did you do anything to Ichijo?"
Sara stifled her knowing laugh with a hand, "Shouldn't you be asking that yourself? Probably you know the answer or has Yuki further blocked your view of Takuma?" outside I was fine inside I was completely confused and angry. What is Sara talking about? What does Sara know? Takuma lived with her only for a year but does that permit her to know more about him? I'm with him for more than a decade! "Kuran-san, how do you feel now that Takuma is slowly slinking away from you? Do you even care?" I wasn't able to control myself and I let loosed a psychic blast that made Sara loose her balance. Shiki stood in front of her while Rima steadied her and I was surprised at their actions. Sara looked at me accusingly, "Takuma's been hurt all his life Kuran-san, always remember that. Nobody truly showed him love if you're just going to pretend that nothing happened then don't even think about looking for him. You and I both don't have the right to see him."
I turned around and went to leave the party, I could see Yuki from the corner of my eye but this time I'll ignore her, I need to talk to Takuma. I'll see him despite what Sara said. Her words were sharp I felt like it sliced my chest. I remembered a month ago that Takuma came to personally deliver the invitation to his combined birthday celebration and going away party. As usual he was all smiles as he entered my study after handing me the envelope I sat on my chair behind the desk while he stood behind me I sensed he was looking out the window possibly looking up at the stars. I set the envelope down and rubbed my temples, "Ichijo I-"
"Kaname," he cut me off his voice sounded so serious, "are you happy now?" I swiveled my chair around to face his back his silhouette was illuminated by the moon, "I think you are, you have what you want now. You have Yuki-chan now." He chuckled, "Do you think I'm happy, Kaname?" he turned around and revealed his ethereal face his cherub cheeks glistened with falling tears. My throat dried as his sharp gaze seemed to be able to see my soul, "You think I am but I'm not." He leant down until we were face to face, "I have someone I need to be with-" he took my hands in his brought it up to his face and kissed each of my palm, I was too shocked to say something, "but he wants to belong to someone else. I'm not happy Kaname I couldn't be happy not even for you so don't ask me details that could lead me back to you. Where I'm going I don't want you to know and I don't want anyone to know that I know you, I don't want to hear news about you, I don't want to know anything about you anymore. I'm leaving because of you I want to move on and if it meant that I'd have another identity it's fine by me as long as I'm far away from you." He sobbed in my hands I wanted to wipe his tears away but I couldn't move at all I could only watch him, I feel so helpless. "Kaname, allow me to say these words I long to say since the day that I've felt them. Hate me for it I don't care, kill me for it that's even better.
"Kaname, I adore you. You are my God. I worship the ground you walk on. I miss you when you're gone and I miss you when you're near. I want to crush you in my embrace. I want your face to be the first last thing I see each day. I want you Kaname. I need you Kaname." He sounded so desperate I want to comfort him but I don't know how. I winced as his grip on my hands suddenly tightened, he tilted his head upward and he looked directly in my eyes his smile dropped he looked foreign to me, "Kaname, I love you." he abruptly let go he stood up and left.
I just sat there not doing anything I wasn't able to hear from him and whenever we're in the same room during council meetings he makes it a point that we're not alone together or even talking he always took his stand behind me I want to turn around to talk to him but I don't know what to say so I just let chance take over he seemed to be the usual all smiles but not to me. He was either behind me or he had his back was turned to me. My lips quivered as I remembered the broad back I've now have been accustomed to seeing. Takuma never had anyone the same as I have and I made it worse by using him and hurting him intentionally or unintentionally.
I need to confront Takuma and tell him how much he means to me.
Okay done with the 1st chapter~ ^_^ this Kaname's mentally talkative~ :D anyway, 'til next chap~ R&R please~
Ja ne~
