The hotel reception area had been disgustingly lively, the byproduct of friends and family reuniting for such a 'joyous' event. The atmosphere had been so unbearable to Kakashi, he had promptly found the first stool at the bar and seated himself for the foreseeable future. Whiskey in one hand, elbow resting on the counter, back facing anyone coming in or out of the room.
As a former Anbu captain, Kakashi had more skill than most when it came to disguises and not being recognized. But here, he had no opportunity to hide, if he kept his head down just enough then perhaps no one would see the spike of silver hair drinking his sorrows away.
"Oi! Kaka-sensei!"
Or perhaps he wouldn't be so lucky, why would he be?
"Naruto, Hinata…" Kakashi gestured with the glass, holding it up to them in greeting before taking another swig.
Either the alcohol was impairing his judgement already, or he just plain wasn't paying enough attention, but Kakashi completely missed the curt nod Naruto directed to his wife. Or the smile and tap of his shoulder she made before hurrying herself off to talk to someone else. Leaving the two men alone at the bar.
"I'm glad you're here sensei, I wasn't sure you would come."
"Well, it's rude to turn down an invitation…"
"And you promised Sakura to be here, ne?"
Kakashi paused for a moment with the brim of his glass thoughtfully to his lips.
"That I did."
When the words were met with silence Kakashi thought that perhaps Naruto had wandered off to join in the merriment with his wife. But when he heard the scratching of the stool next to his he sighed. No such luck.
"So, where's your better half?"
"Huh…" he huffed in amusement. "You know Mei, she'll be front row center to the gossip parade."
Naruto huffed back, and in a move that surprised Kakashi, signalled for a glass to the barman. The action causing Kakashi to raise a skeptical brow. Even if he was a grown married man, there was one thing that Naruto Uzumaki could not do, and that was hold his liquor to any reasonable standard. From his peripheral he watched as the blond opened his mouth to speak several times but kept uncharacteristically silent. There was something he wanted to say but it seemed that the words were having difficulty forming. Despite his current frustrations at the universe Kakashi could afford him a little patience at least, and he was a patient man.
Just not where it counted.
He tried to shake the thought by downing the rest of his glass.
"Keep em' coming." He mumbled to the barkeep.
"Drinking your troubles away hmm?" Naruto finally spoke.
"What makes you think I'm troubled?" Kakashi asked, though he didn't even need to hear the response. It was more rhetorical than anything.
"C'mon sensei, we both know it, this is Sakura… Sakura! Hey! You're here! Where's sourpuss?"
Kakashi glanced over his shoulder as she appeared, looking every bit the beautiful bride to be on the eve of her wedding. She smiled and his heart did the involuntary skip it always did, and he suspected it always would. He sighed into his glass, forcing a smile back before she came to lean on the counter between himself and Naruto.
"Oh he'll be somewhere hiding amongst the chaos. Isn't this a madhouse? I'm so sorry to put you guys through this, but I'm so glad you're here to keep me sane." Sakura took the glass from Naruto's hand and downed it in one.
"Woah, easy girl."
"Oh shut it Naruto, you didn't hear Sai's 'gift'. My ears still haven't recovered."
"Did he go with the poem or the ballad?" Kakashi quipped, enjoying the doom cloud that appeared suddenly around her, probably more than he should truth be told.
"Please don't make me remember, I'm trying so hard to repress it… Do you think it would be improper use of chakra to block that part of my brain off for the evening?"
Kakashi huffed in amusement.
"Improper use of chakra , huh? I can think of a few more things that would be worth the headache…" Mei appeared to his other side, winking seductively in their general direction.
Just as Kakashi started to rifle through his mind for any excuse to remove himself, the band began to play. Saved by the bell… he thought to himself.
It was just unfortunate that he was not so lucky.
"Care to dance?" Mei danced her hand up his forearm as she spoke, a gesture that was just as alluring as it was foreboding. There would be no backing out of this one.
"I'll take this one, if you don't mind, Kakashi." Sasuke sidled up out of nowhere, and it was still odd to hear his voice speaking in a tone that wasn't pure darkness. "It is my last night as a free man after all."
With his best attempt at a smile he nodded while Mei giggled in that way she did sometimes when she got the right attention. Taking Sasuke's arm they glided off to the slowly filling dance floor. Kakashi sighed and turned his attention back to his whiskey, what he didn't expect was Sakura to tug impatiently at his other arm, her big green eyes imploring him.
"We can't let them show us up, Kakashi! Besides, it's been forever since we danced… Come on…"
There was little he could do to argue as she was already pulling him to his feet. Kakashi gave Naruto a pained expression, and instead of sympathy, he saw something else in him. Something that was curious and exasperated all at once, but there was no time to ask.
The music was slow but upbeat, the kind of dancing music that could be tender or lively. His eyes never once left Sakura's face as she came toward his body, fitting in to him as though she had always been a part of him. And while Sasuke was holding Mei similarly, smirking as they spun around the room together, Kakashi felt so at odds about touching her so closely. But he couldn't say no to those eyes. Not ever. And when he held her closely to him, it was that same peaceful and belonging feeling again, as if this was where she was meant to be.
But this was bittersweet. This was probably the last time he would ever be able to hold her. He'd been granted this one last parting gift before she married the love of her life, and he was going to enjoy every painful second while he could. Sakura rested her head against his collarbone, closing her eyes, he managed to find the courage to whisper in her ear.
"You look stunning."
He felt her chuckle against his chest.
"You scrub up pretty nicely yourself."
Time was a variable he no longer cared to notice, and for as long as his eyes were shut, and he was quietly moving around the dancefloor with her in his arms… it was standing still. Only when the clapping sounds reached his ears and shocked him out of the trance did he realize that the music had stopped. It seemed that Sakura hadn't noticed it altogether either. They both stood back from each other, Kakashi instantly registering the familiar pain of loss as her warmth left his. They clapped, all the while eyes on each other, before Sasuke tapped her on the shoulder and she whirled around and into his arms.
Mei pecked Kakashi on the cheek, just as he thought he would be in for another round of dancing when the music started again, instead she waved to someone and excused herself. With a sigh, watching Sakura, he made his way back to his stool and drink.
It perturbed him to find Naruto watching him so closely. A queer expression on his face, one that Kakashi was now prompted to ask about. It was unlike Naruto, of all people, to look so… pensive. It had to be an omen of some kind, he sighed as he sat, today just wasn't his lucky day.
"Something on your mind, Naruto?"
Those blue eyes were still watching him closely, drifting out to the dance floor and onto his friends for a brief moment. Kakashi's glass had been refilled, the work of the excellent barkeep or Naruto trying to loosen his tongue perhaps. He wasn't sure. All the same he brought it to his lips.
"There is, sensei. Something important I need to talk to you about, in private."
With the addendum of 'private' Kakashi downed the entire glass in one hit. Whatever this was going to be, it wasn't going to be good, lady luck had well and truly left him this evening.
"Sure."
Naruto stood sharply, Kakashi followed, fighting every instinct he had not to look back at Sakura. The way the blond was moving, with haste and all seriousness, it almost made Kakashi wonder if something gravely serious was about to happen. They reached one of the shared rooms, the entire hotel had been booked for this wedding after all, Naruto hastily opened the door and ushered Kakashi in. He was greeted by a large open room with two single beds, it probably wasn't Naruto's room but it didn't matter to Kakashi right now.
"What was so serious you had to drag me all the way up here, Naruto?"
He watched as Naruto immediately began pacing, putting a hand to his mouth and then stopping altogether. Finally he sat himself on one of the single beds and gestured for Kakashi to sit across from him. He did so with another sigh.
"I was watching you on the dancefloor just now, and the look in your eye was unmistakable."
"Well, can you blame me? Mei's quite the dancer…"
"I'm not… I'm not talking about Mei. I'm talking about Sakura."
Kakashi took a sharp intake of breath. It was no secret to Naruto, and why would it be, he was adept when it came to the emotions of others, now more than ever. But it struck a chord of anger with Kakashi, for whatever reason he didn't want to acknowledge.
"It was one thing when you were pestering me about this when they got engaged, but she's getting married tomorrow, and I'm with Mei now. What is it going to take to convince you that I am over her? That I can't act on those reckless feelings…"
"She knows."
Those two words fell with authority from Naruto's tongue, it made Kakashi falter for a moment. But Naruto's eyes were unwavering, pouring into his, searching him. It was impossible to hide.
"She knows what?"
"She knows that you have feelings for her. She's known for some time."
The world had stopped again but for entirely different reasons.
"How?"
"Does it matter how? Yamato probably said something, the point is, she knows."
At this Kakashi could no longer sit complacently, he stood with a sharp jerk, raking a hand through his hair.
"I knew you didn't approve of my seeing Mei, but to taint it like this, to taint Sakura's marriage to Sasuke…I'm not going to listen to this." He made a beeline for the door but Naruto's next sentence stopped him completely, almost sending him to the floor with his jaw.
"Kakashi, she feels the same way about you." His hand shook as it was still outstretched to the door handle. "At least, I think she does. She practically told me as much the other night, but then you and Mei went public and suddenly she wouldn't say another word about it."
The words were all at once terrifying and magnificent to Kakashi's ears, he turned slowly to find Naruto now standing before him. The pain obviously rife within the young man at harboring this weight. And while Kakashi was sympathetic to him for a second the gravity of his words had well and truly pulled him into a fugue.
"Now, I saw the way she was looking at you, and I couldn't stay silent any longer. I'm not in the habit of breaking up people's marriages Kakashi sensei, but how could I not tell you, you love each other, and I love both of you…"
"I… I need to sit down…" Kakashi's head was suddenly spinning, Naruto was at his side but a knock at the door disturbed them.
In true Naruto fashion he opened it immediately before checking who was on the other side.
"Mei!"
Kakashi felt a tightness in his chest.
"Darling, you left with our only room key."
"Did I? I'm so sorry, here…" he reached into his jacket pocket and stepped toward her.
"No need to be sorry, you have a lifetime to make it up to me…" She winked insidiously before turning on her heels and sashaying away. By the time Naruto closed the door again Kakashi was sure his heart had stopped altogether.
"This is terrible. I do, I love Mei… but this…"
"I know. This is Sakura." Naruto always seemed to have a way of summing things up without actually saying many words. He stood beside him, a hand on Kakashi's shoulder in support. It took a moment before he could bring himself to speak again.
"I need… I just need to talk to Sakura."
"Are you sure?"
"I… I have to know." A dark energy rose within him. "I have to talk to her."
Once again he made for the door and swung it open, Naruto right behind him, before they even made it out onto the landing they stopped in their tracks.
Sakura and Sasuke were walking up the stairs. Kakashi sucked in a deep breath.
"Getting a bit too lively down there…" Sasuke murmured, rolling his visible eye.
"Oh yeah, Sasuke, that reminds me. I need to talk to you about something." Without another word Naruto had ushered Sasuke up the next flight of stairs, an arm around his shoulder.
It left Kakashi standing awkwardly alone with Sakura on the landing, but that energy was something he needed to act on while he had the courage at least.
"Sakura, listen, there's something I'd like to discuss with you… if you don't mind." Kakashi gestured into the twin room he and Naruto had been conversing in.
"Sure."
A nervous smile crept on her face as she stepped inside. Kakashi looked around with paranoia before he closed the door behind them. Sakura sat on the edge of one of the beds, hands on her knees, Kakashi had barely a moment to register how beautiful she looked in this light before she was speaking.
"What was it you wanted to talk about?"
"Well…" He sat himself on the other bed, not facing her, unsure if he would have the courage to look at her and speak at this moment. "It's about a conversation you had with Naruto…"
At this she huffed and stood up.
"I specifically asked him not to say anything to you…"
Kakashi stood and followed her pacing around the room.
"No, I'm glad he did. I'm glad he told me."
"Why would you be glad about such a thing? I'm twelve hours away from the altar and you're in a very public relationship with the Mizukage! What good could he think would possibly happen by getting all this out in the open? It's awkward and terrifying and it's just..." She turned and met his eye, a storm of emotions unshed and threatening to spill.
It was now or never.
"I'm glad he told me, because I love you."
"You… what?"
The door opened, interrupting the conversation, a completely drenched Yamato standing in the frame. The two of them were still looking at each other, the words flattening the air around them, Yamato completely oblivious.
"Well, that's one use for a fountain. Oh! Hey guys, what's…" The tension finally registered. "Ah, I'll just grab a quick nightcap before I change…" He backed away slowly and shut the door. Kakashi and Sakura still looking at each other.
"Lock the door." They both said at once. Kakashi reached over and flicked the knob.
When they stood in front of each other again Sakura was wringing her hands together close to her chest. As if she were trying to keep her head from pounding out of her skin.
"Kakashi sensei, you shouldn't say such things…"
"It's the truth. Lord knows, I've tried to deny it. Tried to pretend that I'm over you, tried to trick myself into thinking that it's for the best… But not a day goes by where I don't think of you. When I fall asleep, when i wake up... "
"And what, is it exactly that you're thinking about?" She stepped closer, voice hushed.
"Your beautiful smile, the way you care for everyone, what it would feel like to hold you in my arms and ask you the thing I never dared to ask. All I need to know is your answer.. Do you love me?."
There was a knock on the door and Kakashi thought he may actually snarl at whomever was behind it. But the knocking didn't stop, it was harsh and impossible to ignore. Sakura nodded and he unlocked it with a snap. In piled Kiba, obviously inebriated, with Sai and a few others behind him.
"Oh! There's a perfectly good room up here! Let's bring the party in here! You don't mind do ya sensei?"
He was afforded no opportunity to respond, suddenly there were teams of people filing in. Frantically he scanned overtop heads and caught Sakura's eye, she jerked her head sharply to the double doors which led to the balcony. Slowly they peeled through the crowd and managed to escape to freedom.
The night air was a welcomed relief, it felt as if hadn't taken a fresh breath in a year. It was crisp and reinvigorating, but it did little to ease the anxiety of the situation.
"Well, it's a beautiful night."
"It really is…" she answered timidly, her hands on the balcony railing.
"I've always loved these night blooming jasmine, their smell is always so refreshing…"
"Kakashi sensei, I still haven't answered your question."
"I know, that's why I keep talking." It was pure nervousness, if she was taking this long to answer then the outcome was not going to be good. "Even if it isn't the answer I want to hear, at least I can drag this moment out a little longer, before going back to… well. I can live in hope for just a minute, that minute alone will be enough to sustain me…" He hadn't intended to say those sentences out loud but they had escaped in his anxiety. "Actually, I don't think that is night blooming jasmine, it could be orange blossom…"
"Oh, for gods sake Kakashi sensei…"
In a moment of madness, she was in his arms, had pulled down the mask on his face and attacked his lips. His eyes were wide in surprise, but the heat of it took over in an instant. Tentatively they eased into the kiss, melding together like two pieces of a puzzle. Kakashi didn't care right now if anyone saw them. It was everything he had ever wanted in a kiss.
She tasted like honey and wine, and all the things that were too tasty to be good for you. But it felt so good and so right all the same. Their bodies knitted together, all other sounds faded out, all light or darkness. It was just the two of them. Kakashi could have spent an eternity in that kiss and been content. They finally pulled back for air, but it was only for a moment.
"I think you can drop the sensei part now…"
Their lips met hungrily again, a furious and painful passion, as if it were the last time… And that was when he felt the tears on her cheeks. She wrenched herself away from him.
"No… Kakashi no… I do love you. But I can't do that to Sasuke, and you can't do that to Mei, we made promises…"
"I'll leave her. In an instant, for you. I know it will be difficult but I mean it… One word from you will silence me forever."
The air was heavy, the weight of unsaid things, of wanting to continue that kiss with every fibre of his being.
"I can't ask you to do that, not for me, we have no idea what we would even be like together. We've never even gone on a date… No. I can't… do that to Sasuke as well, I made a promise to marry him."
"Alright." Kakashi steeled himself. "Alright. If that's how you feel. Then I will just have to deal with it. But Sakura, trust me, you don't want to spend half your life thinking about a chance you didn't take.."
"I'm sorry. My mind's made up. I think we should say goodnight now."
Kakashi felt the crushing sadness, but it was oddly number than it should be, partially because the secret that had been eating him for years was finally free. He considered that the only solace.
It was just his luck.
"Goodnight, Sakura."
"Goodnight, Kakashi sensei."
The sun was out in all its brilliance, bestowing it's warmth over the guests for one of Konoha's most anticipated weddings. There had been a slight delay in the proceedings, last night's rambunctious frivolity biting a number of the groomsmen and guests in the ass. Kakashi himself had seen better days, but it was nothing hair of the dog wouldn't fix.
While everyone appeared to be waiting for the blessed event to take place, he had stolen a few quiet moments in the front garden on the opposite side of the hotel. A bottle of whiskey in hand. Mei hadn't really commented if his excuse had been subpar today, too caught up in the idle chit chat.
But he was only alone for a moment.
"This seat taken?"
Naruto appeared beside him, dressed impeccably, gesturing to the porch beside Kakashi. Yamato was visible just behind him. They both wore sympathetic smiles.
"What are you lot doing here? Isn't it show time?"
"Well, there's been another delay, apparently Tsunade is too drunk already and Shizune is attempting a chakra induced sobering…" Yamato smiled and Kakashi almost felt the need to return it.
They sat either side of him, clapping a hand to each of his shoulders.
"Thanks guys." It was all he could manage.
"I think, I think you're really brave sensei. You did what you had to do, and it hurt, but no regrets. Because you did the hardest thing in the world. I'm proud of you."
"Naruto's right senpai. You were really brave putting yourself out there like that. Must be love because I've never seen you do such a thing before…"
"Well," Kakashi spoke deliberately. "What's done is done. Now we move on, I guess. Cheers."
He held the bottle of whiskey up before taking a swig. Kakashi was unsure of how much time they actually spent sitting there beside him. If the burn of the sun on his head was any indication it could have been an hour. They joked and shared a few choice stories, until it was time for them to go.
"I'll see you in there…" Kakashi mumbled to their retreating forms. Unsure if he could find the will to stand anytime soon. So he continued to just sit, to just be. To figure out how to work in a world where the only woman he loved also loved him in return, but it would never be.
Taking a deep breath he stood, the spinning of his head in part because of the whiskey, but it had never really stopped spinning in the last twelve hours.
And when he turned around it spun so fast that time stopped once more.
Standing there, dressed in white, looking every part the beautiful bride. But beautiful wasn't enough to describe what she was. Ethereal, stunning, mystifying, Sakura.
"I was wondering…:" she stammered. "If you would be free for a date?"
Those glorious words, were all he needed to hear.
"Yes, yes! Of course!"
In two steps they had embraced each other, clinging for dear life, pulling back only to kiss with a tenderness that Kakashi didn't feel deserving of.
Time was once again a variable that he didn't care to think of. It was only Sakura's words that brought him out of the trance her green eyes held him captive in.
"Wanna get out of here?"
"Yeah…"
Just as he thought his luck had returned to him, just as they were half way down the path and away from the hotel. Sakura stopped walking.
"Where do you want to go?" She said excitedly, easing his mind a fraction.
"Well, to the left, if we run for about three days, we'll get to the sand village. And to the right, is Konoha… I don't care where we go, as long as you're beside me."
"Me too." She whispered, exhaling and gripping his hand tighter. "But first, we should really deal with what's behind us, shouldn't we?"
They both glanced back to the hotel. Kakashi wasn't entirely surprised. Of course she wouldn't want to just leave and run away together. They had to be sensible about this, had to be adults. And he would do any and all of it to be with her for just a minute longer.
"We should…" He mumbled, dancing a thumb up her cheek.
"It'll be worth it…" she said before pecking his lips.
"It will indeed." Kakashi sighed deeply. "I love you."
"And I love you. C'mon, the sooner we do this the sooner we can get the hell outta here…."
