Authors Note #1: I do not own the idea behind Winnie the Pooh, but I do own the idea behind this story.

Author's Note #2: I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST WINNIE THE POOH! I love that little bear, but this was an Idea that I couldn't let by.

Authors Note # 3: Just so u know, Soo (the parody of Roo) is FEMALE! She and the others are all based on people I know. Also, Drew isn't made up. He's me. Nothing about me is changed. All the characters are my friends in the suits off who they parody.

Winnie the Drew:

A satirical mockery of the beloved Disney Character

Chorus: Winnie the Pooh, Winnie the Pooh
Tubby little cubby all stuffed with fluff
Winnie the-

Drew: Ahem

Chorus Member: But your version makes no sense.

Drew: (Flashing 100$ bills) Once again. Ahem.

Chorus: Winnie the Drew, Winnie the Drew
Tubby little psycho, all stuffed with rage
He's Winnie the Drew, Winnie the Drew
Psychopathic, Anti-Social, Misfit…………………..

Ole bear.

(The scene changes to the 40 ½ acre wood- due to deforestation.)

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Narrator: This is the story of Winnie the Drew, or Drew, as he liked to be called.

(Drew walks in, dressed in a Pooh costume, with a black shirt "Drew" on it, his face visible in the head.)

Drew: This is not the most humiliating moment in my life. Ooo, a dollar (He bends down, a tear is heard)..That is.


Narrator: Yes. Drew is a bear of sizeable brains and high psychopathic tendencies.

Today, Drew is in his thinking spot.

(We see Drew sitting on a log under and apple tree)

Drew: Think (an apple falls on him) (Disgruntled voice) Think (another apple) (Angry voice)

THINK! (All the apples fall on him. He is covered..)

(Stiglet walks up to the pile. Drews head pops up.)

Drew: Get me the hell out of here!

Stiglet: Hey Drew, (picks up an apple and begins to munch it), What's up?

Drew: Not much, just the force of the apples is cutting off my circulation. (He puffs out, the apples fly off) That's better.

Stiglet: What were you thinking about?

Drew: (Opens his hand, revealing a grey bong) Trying to think of who this might belong to.

Stiglet: Not many choices, we're a small cast.

Drew: True, let's check around.

********************

Narrator: And so, the two journeyed around the 40 ½ acre wood. They came across a hole in the ground.

Drew: That's a big hole.

Stiglet: (Stuffs his head in the hole) Anyone down there missing a bong?

(Stiglet is pushed out of the hole. Ropher appears. )

Ropher: What the hell we're you doing in my hole??

Stiglet: Checking if your missing a bong. And about your hole, bet you enjoyed having something in it!

Ropher: What are you saying Pork Boy?

Stiglet: Nothing Rat boy.

Ropher: How bout I kick around your pigskin ass?

Stiglet: How about I play a game of Whack-A-Mole!!

Drew: Guys, Calm yourselves. We're all friends here. Now, Ropher, are you missing a grey bong?

Ropher: Nope, I don't do that crazy shit. You should try Nickger.

Stiglet: Where do we find him?

Drew: Just wait a minute or two?

Nickger: The wonderful thing about Nickgers
Is Nickgers are wonderful things
Their tops are made out of stubborn,
Their bottoms are made out of things (winks)
They're bouncy, trouncy, hounchy , pouncy
Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun
And the most wonderful thing about Nickgers…….
Is I'm the only one
Yes, I'm the only one!

Drew: Hey Nickger, what's (Nickger bounces into Drew) Up. Besides you.

Nickger: Heard my name and bounced right over.

Stiglet: Right. Drew bear and I are trying to find out who's bong this is.

Ropher: It yours?

Nickger: Nope. Don't smoke. But I had some Viagra and let me tell you…… this ain't my tail!

Ropher, Stiglet, Drew: Uh…. Right…

Nickger: You know, it could be Janga's

Drew: Good call. Let's go find her.

Narrator: And so, the four journeyed, still searching for the bong's owner, all the wile wondering if Nickger was telling the truth about his tail…..

************************

Narrator: They continued through the wood, making their way to Janga's house…

(Scene changes to Janga's house. She and her sister, Soo, our outside)

Janga: (Looking near her sisters pouch) So, Nickger's dicks got stripes too I see.

Soo: (Looks at her pouch. Excited Voice) Ya I guess, cool isn't it??

Janga: It's sick, It's demented.

Soo: It's fun.

Janga: Whatever.

(The 4 others arrive)

Drew: Hey.

Janga: Hey. What's up?

Stiglet: This your bong?

Janga: Nope. Sure it's a bong?

Soo: Looks like a dildo (She is staring at Nickger's enlarged "extra tail)

Drew: Nope, it's a bong alright.

Janga: Well, if it's none of ours, then it's either Neyore's of Cabbit's.

Ropher: She's right.

Nickger: You guys go find them, Soo and I will go ask….. Nickger!

Soo: Ya, we'll go ask him!

(They bounce away)

Drew: Wait a sec. Ur Nickger. How in the hell--- Nevermind

Narrator: The now 4 friends head off to see their good friend-

Drew: Hold on buddy. We're not all friends. Were just a bunch of freaks with lots of free time on out hands.

Narrator: Err.. Right. So the freaks went off to find the bong's owner.

(Scene changes to a garden. Cabbit the rabbit is passed out in the middle of his field of hemp, cocaine and marijuana )

Stiglet: Hey Cabbit! WAKE UP!!

Ropher: I think he's out cold.

Janga: Not for long. (She walks over to Cabbit and steps on his nuts.)

Cabbit: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR!!

Janga: Needed to wake you up. You got a problem with that??

Cabbit: (In fear) Uh…no. No problem at all.

Drew: Answer this question, and we'll get some ice for those berries of yours. This your bong?

Cabbit: It's not mine (They all stare at his garden) Hey, I just grow it, I don't do it!

Stiglet: Then who does?

Cabbit: Neyore. Smokes the shit all the time.

Drew: Great. Bonus. Let's go find Nickger and Soo and bring the bong back to Neyore.

Janga: I don't think we should get the others .

Ropher: Why not.

Janga: Nevermind.

(The five animals head off, reaching Nickger's house. Loud noises can be heard inside.)

Stiglet: What the hell is going on in there?

Cabbit: Sounds like a gang bang.

Drew: No way. But let's check it out.

Janga: I warned you..

(They walk in. A dresser drawer is bouncing up and down. Drew opens it)

Drew: (reeling back in horror) MUDDER OF GOD!!!!

(The other four look inside. Soo is on top of Nickger, his "other tail" stuffed in her pouch.)

Stiglet: Oh, that's not right!

Janga: I warned you, you didn't listen.

Cabbit: You knew about this?

Drew: I think I'm gonna hurl…..screw thinking (hurls on the floor)

Janga: It's not that sick.

Ropher: Says you.

Nickger: Look, we're all partially sane folk, and this is nothing to get worked up over.

Drew: Bull. We catch you and the little kangaroo in the binds of…..I'm not gonna go there.

Soo: Don't be so tough. We've been doing this for a few months.

Drew: Whatever. This is "The Adventures of Winnie the Drew", not the "Fuck Friends Hour" !

Ropher: What fatty said.

Nickger: Okthen.

(The 6 leave)

Narrator: With their minds scarred for life, the 6 freaks of nature-

Cabbit: Only 2 of us our freaks (pints to Nickger and Soo)

Narrator: Right. The 6 continue their journey, passing tree and bush, heading to Neyores.

Ropher: You smell that?

Stiglet: (Smells the air) Smells like (becomes relaxed) ya….

Nickger: It's weed.

Drew: Before we all get the munchies, let's bring this bong back.

(The six stumble down the hill, stopping in front of a small stick hut. The hut falls. Neyore is inside surrounded by smoke)

Neyore: Hey.. My house fell down……Bonus.

Janga: This your bong?

Neyore: It's one of mine. I got a lot.

Drew: Good. Now we brought it back.

Ropher: What do we do now?

Soo: Get high!

(The entire group sit in the rebuilt hut and hotbox themselves.)

The End (Of Story One)