One sunny day, all nine Nazgul were sitting in a field of wildflowers, making daisy chains. Ringwraith Number Seven had a crown of tiny white flowers already on his head. And it looked really funny, because none of the Ringwraiths were wearing their dark evil mysterious robes. Wait wait! All you crazy movie junkies who haven't read the books: Ringwraiths' bodies are invisible. The only way you see them is because their clothes are moving around, because they're still solid. So, for example, since Seven had a crown of flowers, all people could see was the daisies floating in the air.
So anyway, the Nine were thoroughly enjoying themselves. There was a red-and-white checked picnic blanket spread on the grass. Do Ringwraiths even eat? I don't think so. So there wasn't any food, but the sun was shining and birds were singing and dropping dead because the Nazgul don't like birds very much.
Suddenly they hear a harsh voice: 'WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! GET OVER HERE, YE EEJITS! I DIDN'T GIVE YOU A BREAK! WHAT ARE YOU GETTING PAID FOR?!?'
Six groaned. 'There's Sauron again,' he muttered. The Nazgul packed up their blanket and leaped onto their evil-looking black horses.
When they arrived at Barad-dur they dismounted and sprinted into the tower. Sauron was waiting in a deep dark chamber, hairbrushes and nail polish jars spread about him on the floor. When they came into the room he looked up suddenly (which is stupid because they're invisible, but never mind) and stood up quickly.
'I've been...waiting,' he said, glancing at the beauty supplies strewn on the carpet. 'Er, anyway...ggrrr! I hate talking to you when I can't even see you! Take these.' He threw assorted scarves and hats and vests at them, which they put on, so he could see vaguely where they were.
'Okay, that's better, I guess...' He raised one eyebrow. They were really stupid-looking like this. 'Anyway, there's something you need to do.'
All the Ringwraiths wished he would just hurry up and say something useful. There were trees to destroy, people to kill, Rings to be reclaimed...
'I've scheduled dentist appointments for all of you,' Sauron finished. 'You haven't had one in far too long. I can smell your breath from here. Perhaps the dentist can convince you to brush. And I know that your teeth are crooked, maybe the dentist can help.'
The Nine recoiled. 'No! Not the dentist!' cried Five.
'We hate the dentist!' Two whined.
'My teeth are beautiful, thank you very much!' Four said haughtily.
'Uh, yeah, besides the fact that they CAN'T BE SEEN? You are all going to the dentist. Tomorrow. Period. It's already been scheduled, and there isn't enough time, you need to contact them four days ahead of time to postpone,' Sauron said finally.
'So of course you waited until the day before to tell us,' said Eight.
'SHUT YOUR TRAP! You are GOING! Case closed.'
'You'll make a great father,' muttered One. But their doom was sealed. They were going to the dentist tomorrow.
Okay, I hope that's better than I think it is. Please review, please no flames. Constructive criticism is good, though. And it will get better, I have got a plan, really I have!
LOL! Thanks to 'The Evil Old Woman' for correcting me; yesterday when I was writing this I put Saruman instead of Sauron! Oops! So I uploaded it again. And if I accidentally say Saruman again you know I mean Sauron. :)
