AN- This is basically teen Stendan. Cheryl is Brendan's older sister, she's around 18-20 and they both have the same mum. The mum is not mentioned in this chapter but should be in the next one. Seamus and Terry abuse Ste and Brendan in the same way they did on Hollyoaks, that's a warning to say there is going to be some upsetting scenes. Both Ste and Brendan are fifteen. Set in Dublin, erm I think that's it really. Thank-you for taking your time and reading! Oh and I may vary the POV I haven't decided yet but at the moment I'm sticking with Brendan's. Also the * is the beginning of a flashback, it also ends with a *
Brendan's POV-
Every day in Brendan's life was the same. He would wake up and go to school, see the same people, do the same lessons and talk about the same things; day in day out. Every day he would work in the pub, tolerating his dad's sneers and gibes before walking the three miles back home and every day would end in the same way. His dad coming in through the front door, pissed out of his skull. He would struggle to walk up the stairs before opening Brendan's door and creeping in, locking it as he did so. Next the worst part would come, the part Brendan always tried to block out, the part he could never tell anyone about.
Brendan couldn't understand it. Couldn't understand why his dad treated him like pure shit, why he acted as if he was the lowest of the low, as if he was so much worse than him. He had done nothing wrong in his life, all he wanted was to be loved, cherished, but it wasn't to be and he has been living this way for fifteen years. Everyone else seemingly oblivious to what his dad was doing to him and he had prayed for help, had silently wished for someone to figure out what was wrong but no-one ever came to his rescue.
He only ever managed to escape his pitiful life, his nightmares and ultimately his dad through reading. He would read anything he could get his hands on, whether it be tragedies, classics or mystery stories. The only thing he wouldn't read was romantic novels, even if Romeo and Juliet was his favourite book and play. He had learnt what happened if his dad caught him with such 'filth'. Seamus already finds his reading habit ridiculous and repulsive, claiming reading is for girls, Brendan hadn't argued, especially when his dad said reading made him a dirty queer. When he had eventually told his dad it wasn't, had finally stuck up for himself, Seamus had snapped, beating him black and blue until it was difficult for him to move for over a week. That incident had happened two years ago and Brendan hasn't disagreed with Seamus since.
"Brendan!" this is the second time Seamus has called him this morning. Brendan knows if he doesn't move soon then he's bound to get another black eye. His ribs are still burning from Seamus' most recent beating. "Brendan! Don't make me come and get you!". He shoots out of bed, body aching and protesting but it's either move with the pain he has now or face even worse in the near future.
"I'm coming dad!" he shouts back, throwing on some loose tracksuit bottoms and a white t-shirt, before quickly checking his bruised ribs. The swelling has gone down quite dramatically over the last few days, but the battering Seamus dished out to him last week, was still one of the worst Brendan has ever had to suffer. He walks down the stairs, tolerating and hiding the pain as best as he can, taking care to mask how much it hurts to do the simple task of breathing. He can hear Cheryl before he sees her, her bubbly laughter filling the kitchen and as he walks through the door she turns, a beaming smile on her face.
"Brendan!" she walks towards him and pulls him into a hug. He has to bite down on his lip to prevent himself groaning in pain and as he looks over Cheryl's shoulder, he can see Seamus smirking, looking extremely pleased with himself. "Brendan, I haven't seen you in so long!" she's being a bit dramatic considering she saw him last week, just before she moved out. Brendan hated it when Cheryl got in her car and drove to her new flat. Hated how his only protection, his big sister and pretty much his closest friend was leaving home. Most of all he hated the fact Seamus could do as he pleased, without the fear of Cheryl hearing Brendan cry out when his dad hit him.
"It hasn't been that long Chez" he mumbled, looking away from Seamus and finding a spot on the floor to look at. Seamus always managed to scare Brendan, even being in the presence of his older sister didn't comfort him and he was terrified. Constantly.
When Cheryl released him, he walked over to the kettle, politely saying excuse me to his dad as he filled it with fresh water. He could feel Seamus' and Cheryl's eyes on him as he stirred his tea and turned around to see what they wanted.
"What?" he questioned, voice laced with unmasked suspicion.
"Brendan, listen" Cheryl walks up to him and places a comforting hand on his shoulder. This only adds to Brendan's worries. "Me and dad…we're worried about you. You don't really go out much and a young lad like you should be up to all sorts by now…".
"I do go out Chez, I go to school every day. How do I not go out?" he doesn't need her worrying over him and he certainly doesn't want his dad's concerns. Although he suspects that is just another way Seamus is fooling Cheryl. He plays the supportive, loving and caring dad so well.
"I'm not talking about school Bren. I'm talking about after school, you just stay in your room all day, reading God knows what". Cheryl and Brendan look over at their dad, he's nodding and all Brendan wants to do is walk away. He can't be dealing with this today.
"I see Pete all the time and Malachy!" he's not lying; he does see them…sometimes. Just not as often as his dad thinks, most of the time he is just walking around town, clearing his head and escaping for a few hours.
"Brendan, you don't go out often enough. I know you don't, me and dad have discussed it and I just want you to know, you can talk about anything with me okay? Can tell me what is bothering you" he wishes he could tell Cheryl exactly what is bothering him, how he is terrified of the man who is supposed to love him unconditionally. How his dad sneaks into his room at night. How he's constantly in pain, constantly covered in bruises and constantly has his dads words in his head, calling him all of those vile, nasty names. He wishes he could tell her that, but one look at his dad tells him he cannot.
"Chez, I am fine okay! I'm going to do revision" he walks past Cheryl and makes his way up the stairs, before she can say anything. He loves his older sister more than anything in the world, but he feels like she's smothering him. Always wanting to know what he's up to, who he's with or what he's learning at school. It's infuriating. It's Sunday and he knows he is behind on his maths homework that is due in tomorrow but he just can't be arsed to do it. Instead he lies down on his bed and lets sleep take him once again.
-X-
It was just gone six when Brendan next awoke, the house was silent, the usual noise his dad makes no longer there. He was grateful because it only meant one thing, Seamus was out, probably getting pissed with his cronies but at least he was out.
He peels back the covers and pulls himself out of bed, sucking in a breath as his ribs once again immediately object, screaming for him to lie back down and rest. Brendan ignores them and walks down the stairs, thankful for an empty house for once, so he doesn't have to try and conceal his pain. When he gets downstairs he instantly walks over to the cupboard, trying to look for some pain medication; he's not surprised when he doesn't find any. After all, it was only last month when he overdosed…before he can even think; his mind has taken him back to that dark place.
*Brendan has the pills in his hand, his dad's pain medication for his sciatica. He doesn't know if it will work, doesn't know if he will still be here to receive a bollocking from Seamus but he doesn't care. Just wants all of this to end and to grant his dad's wishes of him being dead, because after all- he is just an abortion that should have happened, someone who doesn't deserve to breathe the same air as other human beings.
Seamus has been taunting him all day, calling him every name under the sun and merely stating what he believes to be true, that Brendan is a little, weak faggot, deserves what he gets and should be dead…hopefully as soon as possible. Brendan has held back tears, he knew when he woke up that today would be the day, the day he would finally get away. Permanently.
He managed to steal the bottle of pills when Seamus was in the shower, taking them from the cupboard and sprinting into his bedroom.
That is where he is now, pills in one hand and a note to Cheryl in the other. He doesn't explain why he has done this, just telling Cheryl how much he loves her and telling her its better this way. He knows deep down only his dad will understand why he has done this, and a tear trickles down his cheek when he realises Seamus simply will not care, won't even feel an ounce of guilt.
Brendan squeezes the pill bottle before emptying it onto his bed, he's not getting cold feet or procrastinating, he just needs to know this is real, that he is actually escaping the life he wishes he never had. He walks over to his wardrobe and takes out the bottle of vodka he had hidden there, then returns to the bed. He hears Seamus step out of the shower and rushes to lock his door, he does it just in time because at that moment the door handle begins to move and he can hear his dad screaming for him to let him in. Seamus starts throwing his weight against the door, profanities spilling from his mouth and Brendan grabs the pills, stuffs as many into his mouth as he can manage, swallows them down and repeats until they are gone.
He quickly hides the vodka and pill bottles under his pillow just as Seamus smashes the door in, walking over to Brendan and dragging him to the floor by his hair. He doesn't even make a sound as his dad's foot smashes into his ribs and a fist flies into his face, he's too used to this, has been dealing with it for too long to even flinch anymore. He just takes it, lays down and lets his dad do what he wants, can feel the pills rattling in his empty stomach and he just focuses on that, the fact he's going to be gone soon.
His dad jolts to a stop when they both hear the front door close and Cheryl's voice filling the house. Seamus bends down and roughly picks Brendan up, he's in no fit state to walk by himself, can already feel the pills and his dad's 'punishment' having an effect on his body, can feel himself losing consciousness. The note is still scrunched up at the bottom of the bed as Seamus hurries to clean up his face, wiping away blood and tears as violently as he wants. When his dad thinks he has done as much as he can, he smirks and leaves, leaving Brendan holding his stomach and whimpering in pain, the medication ripping through his system and already hurting his organs.
The next thing he knows Cheryl is walking in through the door, takes one look at Brendan, one look at the scrunched paper and tells her dad to call an ambulance. That is the last thing Brendan remembers before he lost all consciousness…*
The sound of the front door closing shocks Brendan out of his daze and he hastily wipes away the tears that have formed in his eyes, doesn't want his dad to see him being so weak and feeble. He closes the cupboard door and turns, is greeted by Seamus' cold smile and narrowed eyes and Brendan instantly backs away as his dad steps closer, shrinking into himself when he knows what is coming.
"Brenda, do you want to know where I've been?" He cannot speak, just looks away from his dad, absolutely petrified. He doesn't want to know because the way Seamus is looking at him can only mean bad things; he has that glint in his eye, the one that tells Brendan he is out for blood. "I've been out with Nolan", Nolan. His godfather Nolan, the man who frequently enjoys watching Seamus beat his son until he's begging for it to end; he seems to get a sick pleasure out of it, like it does it for him. "And do you want to know what he said Brenda?" he's moved backwards until his back is pressed against the kitchen side, he has nowhere to go now, can only cower and pray for this to be over quickly. "He said my son is a pansy, a disgrace. That you're sick and you know what? He's right, look at you! Snivelling like a little girl, you are no son of mine!" Seamus emphasises each word by jabbing Brendan in the chest, so hard that the boy is sure another bruise will pop up in the next hour. It takes all of Brendan's strength to talk, terrified at what may happen now that he has spoken.
"Please dad…don't, please" he watches as Seamus lifts up his arm and pulls his hand back, closes his eyes as the closed fist comes towards him, ready to embrace the wounds that he is about to be given.
Seamus doesn't relent in his punches, keeps his strength throughout the whole beating. Punch after punch after punch. Aiming straight for his face and already battered ribs, hitting him and releasing all of his anger onto Brendan's body until his arm eventually tires.
Brendan lies on the floor. Completely broken, and as he hears the familiar sound of his dad's belt buckle open, the feeling of his bottoms and underwear being tugged down, he doesn't do anything. Knows that struggling will only make it one hundred times worse and moving will make it more painful. All he can do is pray and beg for it to be over quickly. When he feels his dad's body on top of him, his smoky and whisky breath in his face, he clamps his mouth shut. Doesn't want Seamus to relish in the pained cries Brendan releases as his dad rapes him.
-X-
It's been three hours since Seamus' attack and Brendan is curled up in his bed, skin red raw after his recent shower, after he had tried to scrub himself clean, washing and rubbing until his skin bled, but even that wasn't enough. He will never be clean again. He thinks back to his dads actions, wonders how his dad can do that to him, not the just the beatings but that. Brendan knows it's sick, that no dad should ever do that to their child but he can't help and feel like he deserves it. Deserves it because he is weak, brings shame to his family, and humiliates them constantly. Most of all, and no matter how much he hates himself for it, no matter how much he doesn't want to have these feelings; he deserves it because his dad is right, he is a queer.
Brendan sniffs into his pillow and wipes away the stray tear that slips down his cheek. He wonders why his dad didn't wake him up earlier to work in the pub, then he remembers the beating and realises that's probably why. If he was in the pub Seamus couldn't have done that to him. His stomach grumbles and he realises he hasn't eaten all day, he doesn't leave his bed though, too scared to move at this point in time. He doesn't see a point in crying anymore, all it does is prove his dad is right. He is pathetic. He eventually falls into sleep, plagued with nightmares of his dad coming to get him.
-X-
"Brenda! Fucking get up NOW!"
He gets out of bed and shuffles over to his mirror, what he sees looking back at him makes his stomach churn. He has open gashes all over his face, his right eye is swollen so much he is surprised he can see out of it, his cheekbone is bruised and his lip is split wide open. He looks like he has done ten rounds with Muhammad Ali. He doesn't look at his ribs as he throws on his school uniform, doesn't want to see the devastation that will so undoubtedly be there, doesn't want to see how broken he truly is. He averts his eyes and sprays on some deodorant before straightening his tie, making sure everything is perfectly lined up. Brendan always has to feel smart, look a certain way to prove to people he is not feeble, has to act in a way to prove he is strong. Outside of this house he wears his bruises with pride, makes people believe he got them in a 'normal' fight and jokes about them seeing the other guy. He can't let them know the truth.
Brendan takes a final look at himself then walks out of the room, grabbing his bag off the landing before making his way downstairs. He turns the corner and finds Seamus draped over the sofa, glass of whisky in one hand and remote control in the other. He takes one look at his bloodied face and sneers, a grimace crossing over his face.
"Ah Brenda, hurry up and get out of my slight will you?" Brendan quickly walks into the kitchen and grabs a packet of crisps for breakfast, he's glad the school provide lunch because now he doesn't have to hang back and prepare it himself. He doesn't look at his dad as he walks out of the door, thankful for the hours away from him.
-X-
"Brendan, you're late. Care to explain?" The teacher says, shooting Brendan a look full of venom. She's always hated him, tries to find any excuse just to have a go.
"I'm sorry, I overslept…" Brendan says, grimacing when the pain ripping through his body becomes too much as he sits down in his place. He can feel everyone's eyes on him, probably gawping at the cuts on his face, maybe even wondering why he is always getting into fights. He knows what the teacher thinks, that he is just another little shit, bullying people and starting fights that he can't finish. If only she knew the truth.
"Well, don't let it happen again. Next time will be detention" she points her ruler and gives him a levelled look, narrowing her eyes and not even attempting to hide the disgust on her face. "Now class, we have someone new joining us today-" just as she says that the headmaster walks in, ushering a boy into the room.
Brendan feels his breath hitch when he sees the boy, marvelled by what he is seeing. He is perfect. Sun-kissed skin, light brown hair styled to perfection and from where he was sitting Brendan could tell the boy's lips were plush, soft and kissable. He trailed his eyes down, caught sight of the boy's unbuttoned shirt and the tie hanging loosely around his neck. Eyes' lingering on the boy's slightly toned, pliable body and he gulped, immediately feeling that rush of need coursing through his body. He dragged his eyes away and returned his gaze to the teacher, before his body started showing signs of his desire.
"Here he is" the teacher takes hold of the boy and brings him towards her, making him stand in front of the class. "This is Steven-"
"Ste" the boy interrupts and Brendan feels his body burn up at Steven's voice. An accent Brendan hasn't heard of before, sounds strange to his ears but God it's doing stuff to him right now. If just hearing Steven does this to him, he wonders what he would feel like if he was actually touching the other boy. The teacher audibly sighs and it takes Brendan away from his state of daydreaming.
"Okay then, Ste." Brendan watches as she looks around and rests her gaze on to the empty seat next to him. "You can sit next to Brendan, okay?", Steven looks up and stares at him, an unreadable expression on his face but Brendan is sure he can see a strange glint in his eyes, something he's certain is also being portrayed in his own eyes.
"Sure" Steven says, a slight smile playing on his lips as he walks over and takes his seat next to Brendan. They both look forward and listen to the teacher as she explains the lesson.
-X-
It's halfway through the class when Brendan realises he cannot take Steven's quick glances at him any longer, it's making him feel paranoid that Steven can see something he can't.
"Can I help you with something?" Brendan says, not looking up from his work and continuing with his English coursework. Steven audibly stutters as he tries to explain away the looks he has been giving him. It causes Brendan to smirk.
"N-no, sorry…I were just w-wondering if you could 'elp me? Don't want to make the teacher think I'm stupid…" Steven slumps in his chair and it is only now that Brendan is so close to him, sitting inches apart that he can really appreciate the other boy's beauty. His hair in a slight quiff, skin visibly soft and Brendan was right, he can tell Steven has the most kissable lips on this whole God damn planet. Steven looks at him and Brendan sucks in a breath, looking into Steven's ocean blue eyes makes him feel like his insides are melting…but he shouldn't feel like this, can't feel like this, it's simply not right, not normal. Even Seamus says so. Brendan clears his throat before talking.
"What do you need help with?"
"Can you just read this…make s-sure it's okay?" Steven's eyes are wide, nervous and clearly embarrassed with what he is asking Brendan to do.
"Sure.." Brendan leans over and takes Steven's work, bringing it over to his side of the table so he can read it. He's already read the first paragraph and he can't understand why Steven thought the teacher would think he was stupid, what he has written suggests the exact opposite. "Well, the teacher certainly won't think you're stupid Steven…".
"What's that supposed to mean?" once again Steven is looking at him, all nervous and fiddling with his hands.
"It means this is good" he passes the work back to the other boy and smiles lightly, he feels like he is being too nice, is never this pleasant to anyone and he feels the need to say something, anything to prove he isn't soft. "Just not as good as mine, eh?" he smirks as Steven rolls his eyes and smiles. It's strange how only half an hour together has immediately made Brendan feel light, especially as they have hardly spoken. "So, Steven…how did you get here then?"
"It's Ste and what do you mean?" Steven questions, brow furrowed in confusion. It only causes Brendan's heartbeat to increase in speed.
"Well I prefer Steven and I mean how did you come to Dublin? You're clearly not from around here?" he clearly isn't from around here, his accent is far too pronounced.
"Well clearly" the other boy looks at Brendan, expression light and teasing slightly. Christ, Brendan feels strange. "I came here with my mum and Terry" Brendan doesn't miss the way Steven practically spits the name out, voice laced with disgust but Brendan can sense there's more to it, something Steven is scared of. "He has business here…dragged us here so he can 'work'…". He does that funny thing with his fingers, the one that tells you 'work'is the last thing this Terry really does. "So what about you?", the question knocks Brendan for six, what does he mean '…about you?'
"What?"
"Well who do you live here with? I'm guessing you are from Dublin? Can tell by your whole 'Steven' thingy!" he tries to imitate an Irish accent and fails miserably, it does cause Brendan to laugh though, something he isn't used to doing very often.
"Yes I'm obviously from Dublin" Brendan snorts, holding back laughter before continuing. "I live with my dad…my sister just moved out" Brendan tries to manage the dark memories of his dad, doesn't want to go there while he is in the presence of Steven, and doesn't want the two of them things to clash, they are the complete opposites of each-other. He knows his eyes have clouded over, trying so hard not to picture the things his dad has done to him, and how he's made him feel small and frail. As he looks into Steven's eyes he knows, he hasn't contained the darkness and Steven can see, knows something's amiss but he doesn't push it, doesn't try and delve into Brendan's issue with his dad, all he has in his eyes is…understanding. Steven hasn't even asked about the cuts on his face, has just ignored them as though they are not there and it's only then Brendan notices the cut on the side of Steven's cheek. "How did you get that?" Brendan points to the gash and Steven lifts his hand to it, shaking his head.
"Scratched myself in my sleep didn't I?" Steven laughs but its hollow, emotion creeping up his throat and Brendan knows he is lying, it's clearly got something to do with Terry but he won't ask any more questions, he knows what it is like when people try to get involved. However, the thought of Steven being hit, being scared and cowering away from whoever the abuser is, makes Brendan's stomach knot, his mouth dry and his heart ache. He barely knows Steven but he already feels so attached to him.
"Hmm, so how do you find Dublin then?" he not-so-subtlety changes the subject, steering the conversation away from the dark path it was taking.
"It's alright, bit boring though aint it?"
"Depends on what kind of people you hang around with. Dublin is only what you make of it" Brendan smiles, it's genuine for the first time in ages. He strangely feels content talking to Steven, he's just making conversation so freely and naturally that it feels weird, but somehow feels normal at the same time.
"E'yar, what do you do then? If Dublin is so 'great'" Steven is doing that little sarcastic hand thing again, it's funny because it's so childish, makes him look as if he is about ten. Brendan doesn't know how to reply to him because he doesn't do anything, Cheryl was right, he hardly goes out and when he does he isn't exactly socialising.
"I never said Dublin is great Steven, I'm just saying maybe you should give it a chance? Could be better than you expect?" Dublin won't be better than he expects, Brendan knows it, knows how shit it can be sometimes but he has new hope. Now that he has met Steven maybe they can be here for each-other? The look Steven is giving him suggests he is thinking the same.
"Maybe…but-"
"Ste, Brendan! Care to tell everyone else what is so important that you can't listen to the teacher?!" they had been so caught up in their own conversation that they had failed to notice the teacher addressing the class, telling everyone something that was clearly important. Now everyone was gawping at them as though they were just discussing their plans to steal the crown jewels.
"Sorry miss, won't happen again" Brendan says after noticing Steven open and close his mouth, not being able to get his words out while everyone's attention was on them.
"This is your last warning Brady, next time I'll be taking you to the principle" Brendan doesn't know what he did to make her hate him so much, must have been bad though to make her treat him like shit every day. As if he doesn't get enough of that at home. She turns back to the whiteboard, about to carry on with teaching when Steven pipes up.
"Wait!" he says and as the teacher turns around Brendan can see the sudden spout of confidence leaving Steven's body. "I-it's not his fault, I…were talking to him, and it was my fault…I'm sorry".
"Steven…" Brendan doesn't know why he speaks, but the thought of Ste getting into trouble for him, no, he won't have it. The teacher doesn't say anything, doesn't apologise to Brendan, just simply nods her head and turns back around. Everyone else isn't so quick to avert their eyes, still staring at Brendan and Ste as though they have two heads. However, the two boy's do not notice, too busy looking at each-other and smiling, Brendan silently thanking Steven and Ste silently telling him he's welcome.
-X-
Its lunch time now and Ste and Brendan are eating separately. Ste with his new friends Coleen and Alyson, and Brendan eating with Pete, Malachy and Aidan. They can see each-other in the lunch hall, every now and then lifting their heads and secretly smiling, Brendan hopes no-one has noticed the way he looks at Steven. The way his eyes trail up and down the other boy's body, smiling appreciatively. How his eyes lit up when the boy spoke to him in class and the way he is just happy when he is around him. If people noticed that then he would be fucked.
"Earth to Brendan?!" Aidan's suddenly talking to him, although the way his friend is glaring at him, Brendan guesses he has been trying to get through to him for a while. "What do you know about the new boy?", Brendan is taken aback by the question, do they suspect how he feels about Steven? Why else would they think he knows stuff about him?
"Why would I know anything about him?" Brendan asks, watching as Aidan averts his eyes and glances to Steven who is now putting his tray away behind them, he lowers his voice before speaking.
"Well…you two seemed pretty close earlier…I just thought-" Brendan can feel his blood boiling, was he suggesting…? Even if Brendan does feel like that, no-one…no-one can ever know.
"What the hell are you saying Aidan?" Brendan says through gritted teeth, barely concealing his rage. "Are you suggesting I'm queer or something?!"
"What? No, Brendan…it's just, everyone can tell Ste is that way and I just thought-" Aidan is panicking, has seen Brendan lose his rag before and he doesn't want to be on the receiving end of his temper.
"Thought what Aidan? That I'm like him? A disgusting faggot? I'm nothing like Steven!" Both Aidan and Brendan hear a sharp intake of breath and both boys turn to look at the culprit. Steven is stood behind Brendan, tears in his eyes and shaking his head furiously. Brendan can tell he is more enraged then upset, can tell by the way Steven's eyes are swimming with anger and his fists are clenched at his sides. The sight of him actually makes Brendan ache in his chest.
"Steven…" He goes to stand up but Steven shoots him a look full of venom, spits out 'fuck you Brendan' and walks away, a purpose in his step. To get as far away from Brendan as possible. He watches him leave, doesn't know what to do with himself. He's just hurt him, hurt Ste, called Steven what his own dad calls him and if Brendan's suspicions are correct then he knows Steven gets enough shit at home. Why does he always have to break everything? His dad is right, he's just a waste of air. He sits back down, mind cleared of anything but Steven's face when he heard what Brendan was saying about him.
"Brendan…that was harsh, you didn't need to blow your top…"
"Fuck off Aidan!" Brendan snarls, not in the mood for his 'friends' words. The rest of lunch is in silence.
-X-
It's the end of the day and Brendan has found it increasingly hard to concentrate on school work, being in the same room with Steven and not talking to him has killed him. All he wanted to do was apologise, prove to Steven that yes, he had said that stuff but he didn't mean it! Not in a long shot. Steven wouldn't have it though, every time Brendan had tried to talk, Steven simply told him to 'fuck off' or stated 'I don't wanna hear it'. Brendan was at a loose end, there was no way he could fix this if Steven wouldn't even let him talk. That boy had made Brendan happy when he hadn't felt that emotion in so long, now after only a day of knowing him Brendan had fucked it up. Massively.
Brendan sighs as he walks out of the classroom, everyone else had left over ten minutes ago but he always hung back, wanted to stay away from Seamus for as long as possible. As he walks out of the school entrance he can hear whimpering, the sound of laughing and the unmistakably noise of punches. Brendan walks around to the side of the building and the sight he sees makes his heart break and causes anger to fill his body. Steven is on the floor, the school bully 'Gaz' laying into him, calling him a "cock sucker" and a "shit licker" with every punch. It makes Brendan's body burn with rage.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" Brendan screams, running over to Gaz and punching him clear in the face, the bully stumbling backwards in shock and from the force of Brendan's fist. "Don't you ever touch him again!" Gaz doesn't reply, just stands gawping at him, bewildered. Brendan stands up and grabs him by the scruff of his collar, snarling in his face and tightening his grip. "You ever touch him again and I'll kill you, do you understand?!" Gaz manages to let out a choked 'yes' and Brendan releases him, pushing him away with all the energy he has. "Good, now fuck off" Gaz doesn't need telling twice, scarpers as soon as he can.
He leans down to touch Steven, check if he's okay but the other boy moves away from him and stands up, glaring at Brendan as though he is the one who has just caused his cuts.
"Don't touch me Brendan, I don't need your pity. Especially not now, I know what you really think of me. You know what? You just think I'm disgusting too don't you! That im a, what did you say? Faggot? Fuck you and stay away from me!" Ste is walking away before Brendan can even say anything, he knows he has a right to be angry but if he would just let Brendan explain.
"Steven, please…just let me-" He takes hold of Steven's arm but he manages to shrug out of the grip and push Brendan away before getting in close, nose to nose and speaking through gritted teeth.
"Don't you ever speak to me again Brendan, right? I've had enough of your kind" Steven walks away and this time Brendan doesn't follow, just watches him go, his head filling with the words, your kind. What is his kind? He will have to ask Steven tomorrow, he will not let this go and as Steven disappears around the corner Brendan can't help feeling a pain low in his gut.
So, first chapter done…tell me what you think :) x
