This is more of a prologue to my actual Yaoi story.
May 11-Gohan's bday.
Disclaimer: DBZ=not mine, ever. Unless I become Disney!
Summary: After Cell Games- With the death of Goku, ChiChi delivers Goku's second son, but quickly flows into the afterlife, pleading to not bring her back. She begs of Gohan to be strong and not hate her for her weakness as she dies and leaves everything on him. Burdened with raising his 1 week old brother, Gohan tries to balance a job, fighting, and raising a kid all in his week, but depression is always around the corner for him. "Why did you leave us, dad? I will fulfill my mother's wishes, but I wish you would help me!" A story on Gohan growing up and his burdens along with a baby Goten.
Warnings: Future Yaoi/Incest/Shouta. Extreme angst.
Not My Burden
Chapter 1
When Death Do Us Part
A small form with black hair and just as black eyes slumped forward as he dropped on to the ground from his flight, head drooping more as the light inside flickered because of the woman pacing the kitchen.
"It's all my fault," The boy, it could be determined, said, his voice full of sorrow as he tried to straighten enough so he could plaster a smile on his face again. Of course, it wouldn't matter once the boy told his mother what had happened today. So, Gohan took a deep breath and pushed open the door to his home, quietly stepping through the door.
"Hey, mom...we need to talk..." But before he could look straight at his mom, he was enveloped in a tight hug, tears hitting his shoulder.
"I-I'm so proud of you, my son..." ChiChi announced with a wet smile before she pulled the boy and set him on the couch before she sat next to him. "Now, tell me everything, honey..." Though it had irritated him to be called little pet names by his parents at his age, the 11 year old didn't mind it from his mom at this moment especially.
"We defeated Cell... I-I defeated Cell with D-daddy's help..." Gohan tried not to cry, and when his mom gently nudged him as she placed an arm around his shoulder, he managed to stop the dam to his emotions from exploding to continue: "I made a f-fatal mistake and it cost d-daddy his life... He can't be returned either... We've already tried, but Shenron says we can't bring him back and... Daddy says he doesn't want to come back, not yet..." Both were crying now as ChiChi held her son tightly, shaking from her sobs.
"Oh, Goku!" she choked out before pulling her boy into her lap and nestling him as close as she could. "He leaves at the most inopportune times! I-I didn't tell anyone because I wanted it to be a surprise, but I'm pregnant..."
Gohan's head snapped up and mother and son stared at each other for a minute before the boy smiled, a happiness just barely reaching his eyes. "I-I get a little brother or-or sister?" he asked quietly, a hand involuntarily going to her stomach.
"Yes, my little rice boy, a little... brother perhaps... But, we need to get things straight..." At this her expression neutralized as she focused all of her attention on Gohan. "I can't support us anymore... I've always wanted you to have the opportunities to do more with your life, but with a little one on the way, I need help... I need you to get a job and be home-schooled again, Gohan..." At first Gohan just stared, shocked, at his mother before the situation finally settled over his shoulders. His mother needed his help at home now...
"I understand, mom..." he replied sincerely which made her sob and take him in her arms again.
"Oh, you're such a gentle soul...why did you have to be half Saiyan....?" she asked half-halfheartedly before ruffling his hair affectionately. "Are you hungry? I have some food if you are..."
The 11 year old savior just shook his head and gently pulled out of his mother's lap. "I'm just tired, mom... I'll go look for a job tomorrow in one of the towns closest here..." ChiChi beamed at her son and his helpful ways. "Don't hesitate to wake me if you need anything, mom! You're pregnant, I should be doing everything for you!" Gohan scolded playfully before he got smacked in the butt, causing him to yelp slightly.
"Gohan..." she said with laughter lightening her tone, "Off to bed with you!" she batted at him and they laughed together as she chased him up the stairs...
...everything would be fine if they could be happy as a family, together....
--6 months later--
Gohan flew from his job as a house cleaner and looked at his calendar where all his dates were set up before frowning. Tomorrow morning he had to babysit, his other official job now, some kids around 3-5 years old and then after go to a house in the city to clean. Gohan sighed helplessly before quickly shrugging it off: it was easy work for him, since he could clean large houses in small amounts of time due to his speed and children who misbehaved around him got to watch him pulverize a tree. After that, the kids usually were in awe of him and shut up the whole rest of the time, but poor trees...
The last six months had been hard on ChiChi and Gohan, but with the others' support the tiny family was soon back up and running again. They didn't speak of Goku often, neither of the Cell Games, but did remark on lighter subjects, like how Gohan's training was going.
But still, in the depths of his mind, Gohan felt the burden of his family fall upon his too-small shoulders. He wasn't ready yet, emotionally at least. He could take any physical pain easily, but his guilt and inner pain had him reeling. Shaking off his morbid thoughts, Gohan smiled ruefully. At least he had his mom and his soon-to-be sibling.
Finally reaching his home, Gohan noticed that Bulma's hovercar wasn't where it usually was parked and he paused before descending, starting to panic as no ki signatures registered with his mind. Now truly worried, Gohan ran into his house, yelling "Mom! Bulma!!" before a note caught his attention. It was quickly scrawled and crude, making it have an urgent tone.
-Gohan,
ChiChi started to get contractions and went in to pre-labor, so I took her to East City General Hospital... I will take care of her for you, Gohan... But come quickly!
-Bulma
Gohan's eyes were wide (his brother was coming earlier than he was supposed to!) but he went into action immediately, grabbing some of the baby stuff his mother already had ready and a set of clothes for his mother. He placed all of the things in a big baby bag before he left his home and traveled to East City at lightening speed, just hoping he would make it in time to see his brother born... Even if the thought of pregnancies creeped him out.
Landing on the side of the hospital building, Gohan quickly ran around the corner and went through the doors, immediately running to the front desk and asking where Son ChiChi was placed.
It took only a moment before he was outside the door, his eyes shining brightly with happiness before he looked in. His mother was red-faced, Bulma next to her with her best smile on her lips as support. The doctor was going over a breathing exercise with her to ease the pregnancy along, his nurses getting a table ready behind them. Then she let an ear-piercing scream, her hand practically ripping off Bulma's arm.
Gohan burst through the door, yelling "MOM!" as he made his way through the room. The doctor and nurses tried to restrain him, but he just brushed the man off him, nearly crushing him into the wall along with the nurses.
"G-gohan!" ChiChi said with a strain in her voice, tears suddenly springing to her eyes. Her hands waved to him wildly as her firstborn came to her side. Crushing him in a hug, the two rocked back and forth as the nurses and doctors resumed their positions.
"Ok, it looks like its time..." the doctor said, gesturing to the nurses as Gohan let go of his mother and offered her his hand. It was time.
Though Gohan had to shut his eyes as his mother's hand promptly tried to break all of his fingers, he could still hear his baby brother's wails as he was born. A grin overcame his pained expression before his mother pulled him down to her.
"Oh, Gohan... look at our little newcomer... He's so beautiful... Goten... yes, that was the name I thought of... But please, Gohan. Take care of him for me..." At that, the teenager turned toward his mother with wide eyes. ChiChi's eyes were full of tears as she looked up at her beautiful child before she continued.
"I'm not long for this world... And I want it that way..." She held up a hand as the doctors and nurses began to clean off the still screaming newborn, causing Gohan to stop any protests that might have come from his lips, "I have lived too long with wars going on around me, and I have lost the will to continue. Please, be strong and take-take care of Goten for me... I will always love you, Gohan, no matter who you love or what you do," here, she stared straight into his eyes, trying to make sure he had listened to her words carefully, "...and please tell Goten I love him, too..." her dark, obsidian eyes flickered with life before they closed.
"Mom...? MOM?! MOOOOOOOOMMMMM!?!?" Gohan's yell echoed through the room, catching the doctor's attention. Quickly noting that her heart was failing, the doctor got down to business and pushed Gohan aside while one of the nurses gently handed him Goten, who immediately quieted in his arms. Bulma, who had gone out of the room when Gohan arrived, watched as Gohan carried the baby out of the room as the beeps of warning from the machines went louder before he shut the door softly.
"Is ChiChi ok?" Bulma asked quietly, worry written on her face... She had even left little Trunks with his daddy today, but she still doubted the man could even feed the boy let alone watch him, but her parents were there too, so she didn't worry too much.
"Mom-mom is dying..." Gohan said quietly, his head bowed as he stared down at his little brother. Bulma lunged to her feet, quickly enveloping the 11 year old in her arms as he let out the emotions he had been holding in. Tears, snot and saliva mixed on his chin as he cried out his grief and anger; where was his father when he needed him?
Goten, in his brother's arms, kept quiet, an unhappy frown on his face and his small fists clenched while his tail wagged slightly agitatedly behind him.
May 11-Around 4 months later
Goten clapped for his brother, a giant grin on his face as Gohan smiled back at him. Bulma, Krillin, Piccolo, a pissed Vegeta, Master Roshi, Tien, Yamcha, 18, and a 1 year old Trunks were at the Son house for Gohan's birthday. Although Gohan told them he didn't really mind just a day with them, Bulma and Krillin had refused to let him get away with that. They noticed that he had so much responsibility on his shoulders now and wanted him to take a break.
For the last four months, Gohan had thrown himself in his responsibilities, trying not to dwell on the pain and grief still simmering inside of him. He did it for his brother, because he was his only reason left to live. His only one...
But today caused many memories to be replayed in his mind that Gohan would rather not even see again. They hurt him so much already that the teen didn't think he could take much more of this cheer and happiness before he broke down. Of course, Piccolo noticed immediately, his master was connected to him after all... But the Namek stayed silent and only sent the second to last of the Sons a look of knowing before disregarding it.
Bulma, on the other hand, noticed how well Gohan was taking care of his young brother and got an idea. She wanted to help out, and by going along with her plan, Gohan could also spend time with his little brother.
"Time to blow out the candles, Gohan! Mr. Big 12!" Krillin chuckled at the pout he got before the 12 year old smiled and picked up his little, flailing brother.
"Let's make a wish together, mmm, Goten?" Gohan whispered gently to the little baby who giggled. As they blew the candles out after a round of "Happy Birthday", Gohan reverently wished that his father could be here to help him.
As everyone gathered to leave, Bulma waited a minute, knowing Vegeta already had left without her. When it was only Piccolo, Gohan and a sleeping Goten in his big brother's arms, Bulma went over to the birthday boy and hugged him fiercely before stepping back.
"Happy Birthday, big boy... I'm so happy you let us have a birthday party for you... But, I have a proposition for ya, Gohan..." the teen smiled lightly at her enthusiasm before nodding, "I want you to baby-sit Trunks along with Goten for me... I will pay you for it handsomely, because I NEVER get to go shopping without this bundle of joy-" she looked down at her sleeping boy nestled in her arms "-making a mess of things..." she sighed as Gohan chuckled lightly at her.
"That would be great, Bulma! And Goten can have a playmate then..." he smiled widely as the cyan-haired woman grinned back.
"Well, I better go! I'll talk to you tomorrow about a schedule and you can give up being a housecleaner. I'll pay ya double that, k?" Gohan nodded numbly before she walked out of his house, leaving him with Piccolo.
"I see you're starting to get things straight now, Gohan..." the Namek said, purposely leaning against the wall near the hallway. Gohan rocked his brother slightly in his arms as the other fidgeted in his sleep before replying to his mentor.
"I know you can tell, Mr. Piccolo... What do you want, hmmm?" The green man just shrugged, standing from the wall and making his way to the door. Pausing he looked back at Gohan, whose eyes were large, unshed tears in his eyes.
"I'll be training in the woods near here, if you need to talk... Take care, Gohan..." was all he said before he disappeared into the night. Gohan sighed as he walked up the steps to his own room, where little Goten's crib was placed right under his window while his own bed's headboard was right next to the crib. His desk was right next to the door and book shelf was placed near it.
The moon peered through the window as Gohan gently set his brother in the crib before tucking the boy in with a special-made dragonball blanket their mother had made. The boy grabbed his hand before the older brother could pull away, a soft, "Goh"coming from his lips. Gohan had to smile through his tears as his little brother cuddled his arm.
"Goten... brother's gotta let go for now... If you let go, you can sleep with me tonight..." At that, the little boy opened his eyes wide and smiled, nodding rapidly.
"Good boy," the teen said lightly, patting his head before he flew through his open window. Gently closing the window after him, Gohan floated above the roof, his mind going back to one year ago.
"Daddy!" a slightly younger Gohan yelled out as his blonde father walked in, a large grin on his face and a present behind his back.
"Happy Birthday, Gohan!" Before Goku could present the boy with his gift, his son had leapt in his arms, making him drop the box to the ground.
"Thanks, Daddy!" The boy said happily, cuddling into his father's frame, a large smile on his face.
The grin on Goku's face softened into a smile as he snuggled his son, love radiating from his eyes. "You're welcome, son... I love you..."
Tears were cascading down his cheeks before he realized it, and all Gohan could do was sob out his sorrows as his hands clenched by his sides. "Why aren't you here, d-daddy?" he choked out between sobs, his eyes suddenly going turquoise.
"WHY AREN'T YOU HERE?!" He yelled out in rage, suddenly ascending to Super Saiyan 2. All his pain-his rage-his heartache- burned within his chest as he shot into the sky to take out his emotions on the clouds. Now to deal with them-one by one.
Pain- resulting from guilt over his father's death and his own pain from having to deal with so much in his life at such a young age... Stress... But mainly it was grief mixed with guilt over his parents' deaths. His ki relaxed as he let go of the pain.
Rage- his rage at his father for not coming back, even if the older Saiyan had convinced himself that it "was for the best". His anger at his mom for making him study when he could have trained to defeat Cell! And for ChiChi giving in... Gohan screamed his anger out into the sky, pure blue ki emitting from his mouth.
Heartache-Well... Gohan almost sweat dropped, because he knew his heart ached but didn't know why. While his other emotions were easier to read, this one had depth...
"Why does my heartache...especially when I think of my...daddy...??" Gohan clutched at his heart as its beat thudded painfully.
-Gohan...?- came a familiar voice as Gohan sat cross-legged, floating in the air.
"D-dad...?" he asked carefully, the pain in his heart intensifying as he choked.
-G-gohan, I'm sorry...- came the slightly timid response before Gohan's eyes filled again with tears.
"D-don't say any-anything, father... I can barely make it through the day anymore!" His fist clenched as the teen stared down at the little dot that was his home.
"I-I'm only here for Goten or else I'd be gone by now," All the demi-saiyan heard was a short gasp before he continued on, "I'm tired... I've had too much on my shoulders and no one to help me ease the pain... This is not my burden to bear...Father... why can't you be here...?" he asked quietly, not really wanting a response.
"Oh, Gohan..." the teen was surprised to hear the man choke on his words before his mind went silent. He sighed letting his emotions go, his anger disappearing along with his pain... but his heart still ached... His blonde hair and turquoise eyes faded back to black.
"I'm-I'm stronger than this..." the boy whispered to himself as tears hit his fists still. Then suddenly an arm was around his shoulders, and he was shivering in the warmth of his father's embrace.
"G-gohan, I never meant-" the dead Saiyan stopped himself shaking his head, "I just can't do it, leaving you here by yourself to carry such a burden... I'm going to teach you Instant Transmission so you can visit me...and your mother..." Gohan shook his head, in both disbelief and negative.
"Dad, how can you get away with teaching me when you're dead...? Especially when-" Gohan's heart tried to kill him at that moment because suddenly his ki faltered and he wasn't floating anymore. Before he could descend more than a foot, Goku had grabbed him, holding his son up.
"Gohan, just trust me, ok, son?"
"No... I have an obligation to Goten... Even if I'm forever in pain and turmoil, Goten will always be my first priority, not you or mom or myself!" At that, the two looked at each other in an intense stare before the older male gave in and turned his eyes away.
"I-I've missed you, Gohan..." he whispered quietly, hugging the tired boy close. But he didn't get a reply as the boy had bit his lip, forcing himself to not say anything in return.
Goku, kind of curious about the silence, pulled Gohan away from him to scrutinize what he thought was going to be a pout. Gasping as he watched blood flow down his son's lip, the full-blooded Saiyan squawked and went into parental mode.
"Gohan! What do you think you're doing! Stop biting on your lip, you could...errr, drown if you do that or something!" Though Goku was being entirely serious, Gohan couldn't help but laugh a little bit helplessly. This was his dad... here with him now and his heart was telling him to forgive him... Before he could say anything, his lower lip was tentatively being licked clean and Gohan couldn't help but almost lose control of his ki again.
"Ewwww, still tastes gross!" was all Goku said in response to his own actions before he swiped his tongue one last time over Gohan's and nodded to himself. "There, now you can't drown yourself..." And Gohan smiled, because though his dad left him alone to fend both for the earth's protection and raising his baby brother, he was still "Goku" as many people have said and no matter how long it would take, Gohan would see him again.
"Dad...daddy... I missed you too..." the first smile on Goku's face lit up his son's world, and Gohan's heart finally unclenched its hold and relaxed: finally its master had found what he needed.... But could he keep it, or even make his love last...?
Liked it? Hated it? Want to read more? Review please! This is my first posted DBZ story with plot. XD yeaaah.
