Disclaimer: The Musketeers are not mine. I'm just borrowing the concepts and characters for a little while.
Spoilers: 2.05 The Return.
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"A little battered, but just about serviceable."
"Are you talking about yourself or that pistol?"
~~~~~Athos & d'Artagnan, 2.05 The Return
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Athos knows that d'Artagnan hadn't meant the comment as anything other than a joke, but after his initial amusement fades, the truth of that statement hits him hard.
He is battered. Body, mind, and soul have been battered almost beyond recognition.
He barely recognizes anything of his past self in the man he is now. Once upon a time, he had just about everything he could ever want from life –family, wife, home, friends, wealth. But that life had been an illusion in more ways than one. He had been so blind to what was really going on.
Sometimes he thinks he deserves what had happened to him, that losing everything was a just punishment for his failures. Other times he thinks his punishment had not been severe enough.
Up until his confrontation in the street with his…that woman, he had been doing better, drinking less and enjoying life with his brothers. Since then, he's felt like he's taken a giant leap backwards in all the progress he's made.
Drinking until oblivion came for him had seemed like a good idea at the time, but it had only led him back to the one place he had never again intended to be or wanted to go. All he wants is to escape, to be free of the accursed place. He doesn't want to care about his tenants or that his brother Musketeers have decided to take up a fight that is not their own. He doesn't want to feel ashamed about his past and all the mistakes that he's made.
A hand lands on one of his shoulders followed quickly by another on the other shoulder. A show of comfort to a man who normally eschews it when it's directed his way.
Athos marvels at how d'Artagnan's touch immediately calms him and brings him out of the melancholy state that he had so quickly fallen into. He lets himself savor that calm for a moment longer before pulling away and stepping further into the cellar.
The abrasions on his wrists and the bruises he's hiding are the visible evidence of how battered he is on the outside. He doubts anyone but his three friends, and perhaps Captain Tréville, could see how damaged he is on the inside. Though, if he were honest with himself, he would admit that his drinking was likely a dead giveaway.
Despite how rundown he is, Athos still considers himself worthy of serving his country. He may drink, but he never allows his hangovers to get in the way of his duty to the King. He has served the royal family honorably to the best of his abilities. His captain trusts him and his friends with the more difficult assignments. He would lay his life down for his brothers.
His soul may be crushed and his body bruised, yet he still carries on. He's risen from the ashes of his broken life and found a way to survive.
He may be battered, but he is still serviceable.
He is a Musketeer.
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The end.
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A/N: A nod to Tenth Avenue North's "Worn" towards the end, because parts of that song strongly remind me of Athos.
Thanks to celticgal1041 for her help! Remaining mistakes are my bad.
Thanks for reading!
