Episode 12- Cold Turkey
Disclaimer: I do not own Beauty and the Beast 2012. This story is based on the characters and the show.
A/N: This is my first attempt at writing and my first fic.
This story picks up after Catherine and Vincent have defeated the Muirfield agents in the woods barely escaping with their lives. Alex has witnessed Vincent transform into the beast during the fight and wipe out all the agents in a gory display of power. Terrified she refuses to continue with their plans to leave to Mexico to start a new life, and leaves by herself to get back to the city. A pained Catherine slowly walks back to her car leaving them in the woods to discuss their future. Have you ever wondered what Catherine and Vincent talked about on the long drive back to NYC?
Italics are their innermost thoughts and like most of us they can get a little convoluted in times of great emotional strain. Catherine and Vincent are two complicated people in a complicated relationship made more challenging by Muirfield , an ex lover, secrecy, lies, and the beast. Their thoughts and conversation reflect the pain, the confusion, the depth of their feelings, and the walls we build to protect out hearts.
After the confrontation in the woods, his super senses picked up a muffled cry close by. Catherine and him cautiously stepped towards the sound to find a shook up Alex hiding behind a tree. She saw everything. The threat and fight that ensued had forced Vincent to transform into that beastly being that ripped those men apart with unnatural speed and strength. She looked at them in absolute terror. He tried to reassure her in a soft voice that he would never hurt her but she pulled out the gun and pointed it directly at him. Catherine instinctively put herself between the gun and Vincent. She was able to talk Alex down and carefully took the gun from her and headed back to her car leaving them to talk.
The frightened look in her eyes told Vincent all he needed to know. There wasn't much neither could say that would change tonight's event or the emotions they were feeling. He lost her ten years ago by never coming back to her and he lost her again by simply living a life that Muirfield created for him.
"I'm gonna drive myself home". Alex took off towards her car and left never looking back.
Vincent stood there shocked and saddened by tonight's events. He never imagined that this evening would turn out the way it did. But he should of known that this is always a possibility for him. Catherine tried to warn him but stubbornly he did not listen. He finally reacted and made his way to Catherine's car. She was still there, waiting as she said, the one consistent thing in his life that he took for granted. The one person that loved him for what he truly was.
Vincent's POV
I can't believe that Muirfield tracks us to the cabin. Fuck! I almost got us killed tonight. Now Alex is in danger and she's not like Catherine, a trained cop. But even so, my first and foremost instinct is to protect Catherine. This is such a fucking mess. I don't know what I'm going to do about Alex. How am I going to protect her and Catherine? It just keeps getting worse.
As she neared the car she hit the electronic button on the keypad to unlock it. She didn't want to think, to feel. She just wanted to find something to occupy herself while Alex and Vincent talked. She popped the trunk open and stored the gun she had given Alex for protection. She then holstered her gun, an automatic action for her.
She got in her car and slammed the door shut. Though she didn't want to think about what just happened she couldn't help but feel the anger and sadness brewing inside of her. She turned the heat up to high and held her cold hands in front of the vents. It was freezing and she needed the warmth. She was not sure if her trembling was due to the cold or the aftermath of the emotional rollercoaster ride she had been on the last 24 hours. Catherine did not bother to buckle herself in but instead tilted her head back to rest and closed her eyes, wishing it was all a nightmare she could wake up from.
Catherine POV
I really need to protect myself right now. I can't do this. Just thinking about it suffocates me. He chose her, a life with her. But I can't help feeling terrible for him also. He can't catch a break. As painful as it was, I really hoped he would find what he was looking for with her. I love him that much. Damn you Alex.
I told Vincent he had to tell Alex the truth. Until he did, all of this was just a fantasy. It might have made the difference back in the woods if she really knew what she was getting into. PTSD? Really? She was terrified of him. She pointed the gun I gave her for protection at him! I couldn't believe it! I had to talk her down to get the gun away from her. What if she had shot him, or me? His dream of evading Muirfield and being with her all blown to hell in one night. But I can't hit the reset button and start over with him. I can't be his second choice. I refuse to be a consolation prize even if I love him beyond reason.
A few minutes later she heard Alex's car, which was parked a few feet from hers, start up and pull away into the unlit road.
Catherine's POV
She took off and left him with his so- called handler. Damn I really hate being called that.
She was startled by a light tap on window and looked over to see Vincent. Her heart skipped a bit and he knew it was because of him. She was never jumpy around him until tonight.
"Is Alex alright?" She asked as she rolled down the window. She tried to mask her voice but the look on his face told her that it was futile.
He was able to hear her heart and he knew he truly fucked up. "I'm not sure. She was pretty upset and would not let me near her. She said she wanted to drive herself home." Vincent responded over the sound of the engine and heater on full blast.
"Vincent get in the car. I need to take you back to the warehouse for your safety. JT is worried about Muirfield and Evan. He was on his way to try and stop him from presenting your DNA when I left to drive up here. You can check on Alex when we get back. I not sure that those were the only agents out here either." She told him in matter-of-fact tone.
"Do you want me to help you drive? It is a long way back and you must be exhausted." He asked in a reconciliatory tone.
"No. I'm fine. Just get in and buckle up. I haven't been able to get any phone service here and I need to call JT and let him know that you are alright." She avoided looking at him by checking the reception bars on her phone.
Vincent quickly rounded the car, jumped in, buckled up, and turned towards Catherine to speak but she stopped him.
"Vincent is there anything back at the cabin that is traceable to you that we need to go back for? " She asked with hesitation in her voice. The last thing she wanted to do was to revisit that remote cabin that played such an important part of Vincent and Alex's romantic history. But she would do what needed to be done to protect him.
"Nothing important. We were only staying for one night so I only brought a change of clothes and I don't need them." He looked down on the console, avoiding her eyes. He had brought this upon himself.
"What about your burner?" She asked, her questioning that of a detective's.
"I have it in my pocket so we are good to go. We really need to get out of here". He said with growing concern in his voice. It was getting late and he was sure his best friend would be sick with worry.
Catherine pulled the car onto the narrow country road, mist and fog threatening the road's visibility.
This is going to be a long drive. She thought to herself.
Catherine drove for a while, managing a few sharp curves and slippery overpasses along the way. They were quiet but tense until she exited to get on the Long Island Expressway back to the city. She tried to focus all her attention on the light beams ahead in an effort to keep her mind somewhere else and heart beat steady. She did not want her heart to betray her emotions as he would know.
Catherine's POV
I know he doesn't understand how deeply he has hurt me. I can't tell him. That would be admitting how much I really care for him. I know he thinks I don't understand this need he has for normalcy, but I do. I get it. After being isolated for ten years from any true living, who wouldn't want to be normal? Muirfield took his humanity, his freedom, everything we take for granted in our daily lives. His only constant is JT and that will probably change someday also. He is trying to make a life with Sarah and who blame him? He has put his life on hold all these years for him. He deserves a normal existence also.
I was hoping to be a constant in his life but it is obvious he had a different idea. He chose Alex and I cannot compete with that. Too may years, too many memories, too many plans. He saw a chance at normalcy with her and he jumped at it. I love him enough to let him go and find happiness somewhere else. But damn, does this have to hurt so much?
Vincent's POV
I should of left Alex alone. I felt guilty about leaving her all those years ago. I never went back to check on her. In the beginning it was because I couldn't bear to see her in that much pain. Later I was afraid at how I would feel if I saw her move on with someone else. Thoughts about it made me jealous. The old Vinnie Keller acting up cause his girl was with another guy. But that changed after I saw Catherine and that life was no longer important. I became a distant guardian, watching over her and ensuring her safety. At least tried to tell myself that, but it was more, so much more. I love her deeply although I have tried to deny myself these feelings. I try to tell myself that she is better off without me. I have already ruined JT's life but without him I would probably be dead or homeless under a bridge. Now I have put her at risk too. I don't deserve her or JT. I should have left that day she came to the warehouse but I just could not leave her. I was already in love. I am such an ass.
Vincent was the first to break the silence.
"I want to thank you again for everything". He looked at her sheepishly.
"You know I will always help in everything I can. But we have a another problem now." Her tone was direct but full of concern.
" You mean with Alex and Muirfield?"
"I told you I found that listening device in her apartment during the raid. That means she is on their radar. Vincent you have to make sure she understands how important it is to keep your secret. We are all at risk, including her." Catherine was emphatic in her tone.
"I will talk to her as soon as I can get in touch with her. I promise."
"Like you told her about your ability to transform?" She quipped sarcastically. She immediately regretted it.
"I am sorry. It has been a long day." They were both silent.
Catherine's POV
I need to find a way to monitor Alex as soon as I get back. I hope Vincent makes sure she doesn't share his secret with anyone. I am not sure we can trust her. She looked so shook up tonight after seeing Vincent. I hope she will hole herself up for a couple of days and give me chance to come up with a plan.
"Catherine….I…" He was trying to find the right words but she cut him off.
"Vincent lets just talk about that some other time." She did not want to go down that emotional minefield with him tonight. She just couldn't. Not now. Not after Alex, the cabin, Muirfield. She needed to stay focused on the road and work at building those walls around her emotions again. She was good at it. She had had a great amount of practice over the years and now she just proved to herself that should of never let them down. She glanced over his way quickly under her lashes. He looked stricken but did not make an attempt to continue.
Vincent's POV
I cannot help how I feel about Catherine. I am so in love with this woman, more than she will ever know. This thing with Alex was never about running away with her but me trying to live a normal life. One where I could be Vinnie Keller, the doctor, the normal guy. It was about a better future for me somewhere peaceful where I could help people. I thought the change would not happen. I know it is hard to understand but my feelings for her never changed. Not for one minute. I was caught up in a fantasy. But I can sense that something has broken between us. I will do whatever it takes to make it right. I will live the rest of my life trying because she is my life.
I wasn't fair to Alex either. I never really told her the truth. It was a half assed plan that was bound to fail anyway. Now I have really fucked up both their lives.
Catherine checked her phone again. Finally, phone service. She quickly called JT to let him know that they were all right and should be at the warehouse within a couple of hours.
Catherine's POV
I need to text Heather as soon as I can. I have not talked to her all day and it is late. I don't need her to call Tess trying to find me. She will only interrogate the crap out of me tomorrow at work. That ridiculously romantic cabin was really out in middle of nowhere. I will text her when we get to the warehouse.
"Are you sure you don't want me to drive for a while?" Vincent noted her tired look.
"No. I am all right." She was short. She knew she should be tired but her body nonetheless was running on pure adrenalin. The evening events and his proximity were the cause. Her mind would not rest either. Her emotions were all over the place and her mind would not stop thinking. Contrary to the look on her face, which was of staunch impassivity.
They remained silent the rest of the way with only their inner thoughts to keep them company although they sat just a few feet apart. Vincent leaned his head back against the headrest and closed his eyes. He was not sleepy but just wanted to sink himself further into his thoughts.
They drifted further apart as the seconds ticked, the minutes crept. Catherine struggled with her emotions, her heart and brain battling with tonight's event and outcome. She fought the tears and held onto to the steering wheel tightly as her knuckles turned white.
He listened to every strangled breath and deep sigh. He closed his eyes harder as he tried to fight it off, the need to protect and console her but he was the fool that broke her heart, that was causing her heartache as she drove him back to his home. It was because of him she was building up her walls again, the one he slowly broke through just weeks ago.
Vincent's POV
I know she doesn't understand, and how could she? I'm a fucking idiot. I should of never tried to make it work with Alex. I actually convinced myself that I could have a normal life again. I will never be normal. Even if I was no longer a monster, my life will never be the same. Sometimes I wish so badly I wasn't what I am.
They were coming up to the old abandoned warehouse area on the on the waterfront. Rows of rusty and broken warehouses lined one side of the street. Destined to be demolished and made into high- rise condos someday. Further down the pot- hole filled street stood JT's old chemical plant. A dark and lonely building that gave no indication that is was being occupied by a professor and his failed experiment friend.
Catherine's POV
There is the warehouse up ahead. I hope JT was able to stop Evan. What a mess. I am going to check with HR tomorrow and see how many personal days I have. I could use a vacation to a tropical island where they serve those colorful drinks with little umbrellas and music is played on worn metal drums. I want to drink myself into oblivion, while I feel the sun on my skin, the warm sand between my toes, and smell the ocean air all around me. Just dreaming here. I can't go anywhere right now.
"Catherine why don't you pull over here and drop me off?" Vincent broke through the silence.
"I can take you closer. It would make me feel better after tonight. Please ask JT to call me and let me know what happened with Evan." She looked worried.
Catherine pulled up close to the fence next to JT's old beat up hatchback. She whipped out her phone to text Heather and let her know she was on the way home. Vincent undid the safety belt and looked at Catherine. His look was searching and deep.
"Do you want to come in for a few minutes?" He asked her hopeful.
"It is late and I really need to get home. I have not talked to Heather all day and I am sure she must be worried. I was hoping she didn't call Tess trying to find me since there was no phone service up there. I will only get the third degree from her at work."
"Ok. So what now?" He asked slightly confused.
"I need to come up with a plan for Alex. We cannot afford for her to expose us even by mistake. I will call you tomorrow and we can take it from there." She tried to sound professional in an attempt to distance herself from the source of her pain.
"Good night Catherine." He said looking straight into her eyes, searching for something….anything. It was killing him.
"Good night Vincent."
She pulled out of the gravel driveway and headed back to her apartment as quickly as she could. She needed to get away from him so he would not hear her heart rate rising as she fought back the tears that had been threatening all night. Her eyes stung and she used the back of her hand to wipe a couple that had managed to escape and roll down her checks. Catherine took a deep breath and composed herself. She looked in the rearview mirror and saw the outline of the warehouse against the moonlight sky and scolded herself.
It is time to move on.
