"Ah, this is the life," Reimu sighed as she leaned back, enjoying the warm afternoon sun. She'd gotten no donations (again) and had to deal with a "visit" from Yukari (again), but sitting on the front steps of the Hakurei shrine helped her to forget all the chaos she'd gone through.
She smiled to herself, and stretched out lazily, enjoying the moment. This truly was the life, being able to lie on the porch like this amidst the ambient background noise of the nearby Forest of Magic, the peace and the-
There was a rustling from the nearby bushes. Reimu sat up sharply, instantly alert. Years of resolving incidents had given her an innate "danger sense". She looked around warily, unable to pinpoint the direction of the sound.
Wait! There it was again! She whirled around as a second bout of rustling emerged, accompanied by a fit of giggling. She scowled, then spoke aloud for the first time.
"All right, who's there?" She scowled harder, if possible. "If it's you three idiot fairies again, I swear I'm going to go to Patchouli and find out how to kill you S.O.B.'s permanently— "
She was taken off guard as the bushes rustled violently from all directions, and 5 figures leapt out, taking rather clichéd poses. The middle figure, a short blue fairy, cried, "Team 9, assemble!"
The leftmost figure spoke up. Trembling with anxiety, she whispered, "Bringing up the rear, I'm Baka G-green!" Reimu felt sorry for the poor fairy.
The next figure, a blonde youkai with her arms spread out wide, yelled, "Is that so1? I'm Baka Black!"
The aforementioned ice fairy, quivering in anticipation, struck a dramatic pose and yelled, "There are no buses in Gensokyo2, I'm Baka Blue!"
The next girl, who looked to be a firefly, said, "Fear my soccer skills3,I'm Baka Yellow!"
The final girl, evidently a night sparrow, cried, "All lamprey 50% off4, I'm Baka Pink!"
Reimu stared bemusedly as the motley crew clumped together in a disorderly group, and struck one final pose. "Baka Blue", in the center once more, took a deep breath, and yelled, "TOGETHER, WE ARE…"
"THE MIGHTY TEAM 9 BAKA RANGERS!" the "team" shouted in unison.
There was an awkward silence as everyone stared at everyone else. Then several things happened at once. "Baka Green" fainted as she had been threatening to do for the past minute, Reimu burst out laughing, and "Baka Blue" thrust her finger forward, yelling, "CHARGE!"
The 4 remaining Mighty Baka Rangers ran forward, not bothering to maintain any semblance of a formation, and pounced on Reimu, who was still recovering from her bout of uncontrollable giggles. Reimu suddenly found herself on the bottom of a massive pig pile. She growled. This was ceasing to be funny, fast.
With cries of alarm, the 4 rangers were flung off of the irked shrine maiden. They got to their feet shakily, watching as Reimu slowly straightened up, her face unreadable. She slowly reached to her side and pulled out a certain seal. The 4 gulped as she raised is above her head. Then, the tension now so thick you could cut it with a knife (in secret, Reimu was rather enjoying putting on this little show) she turned to look at them. Finally, she spoke in a voice as cold as ice.
"Get out."
The girls did not need to be told twice. The first to spring into action was Rumia.5 She bravely darted forward, grabbing Daiyousei by the collar of her shirt and vanishing into a nearby shadow. This movement seemed to break the others out of their petrifaction6, and they too fled into the forest once more, shrieking.
Reimu sighed, and flopped back down onto the porch to pick up relaxing where she'd left off. One of these days, those crazy kids were going to get themselves killed…
Back in the (relative) safety of the Forest of Magic, Cirno, Mystia, and Wriggle sat down sharply, panting hard.
Wriggle shivered. "That was scary," she whimpered. "Yuuka-san's like a harmless butterfly compared to her."
Mystia nodded her head in agreement. "I've heard she survived the Yatagarasu's full power!"
"The Yata-what now?"
"Oh, come on! The Yatagarasu? Utsuho-san? That crazy nuclear hell raven who tried to take over a year back?"
"Ohhhh yeahhhh…"
Mystia sighed aggravatedly. "Honestly, am I the only one here who pays attention to current events?"
There was a great whoop from Cirno, who'd stayed silent through the little argument. She fist-pumped the air. "OhmygoddessesthatwasAWESOME!" She grinned. "We should totally go and attack Marisa-san now!"
Mystia and Wriggle began panicking. "No way! She's nearly as powerful as Reimu-san! Rumia-san got beat up by her, and she's a youkai!" Mystia blinked. "Speaking of Rumia-san, where is she?"
"I'm right here~!" A voice sounded cheerfully right next to Mystia as Rumia appeared from the shadows, Daiyousei in tow. Mystia shrieked and whirled around, wings flaring protectively. Cirno and Wriggle fell over laughing, while Daiyousei giggled softly, now fully awake.
Rumia giggled as well, a bright, cheerful sound like glass chimes. "Oh Mystia-san, you're so easy to scare!" Mystia just blushed furiously and humphed. "I-It's not funny!"
Wriggle wiped a tear from her eye. "Sorry, Misty, but it is kind of funny how you fall for the same thing every single time."
"She has a point," Daiyousei said, then flinched as Mystia turned to look at her.
With great effort (especially since Cirno was still laughing her head off to the side, and showed no signs of stopping), Mystia sighed and forced herself to let it go. "I suppose it's kind of funny," she said grudgingly.
Rumia smiled. "I'm glad you think so, Misty. Having fun is no fun if no one else is having fun!"
"…What?"
"I just don't want to hurt anyone!"
"You don't want to hurt anyone?" Wriggle's eyes widened a tad, looking at Rumia quizzically.
Rumia gasped as she realized her mistake. "I-I mean, anyone's feelings! I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings by…being too rude…and stuff," she finished lamely.
Both Mystia and Wriggle raised an eyebrow in sync. Rumia smiled nervously. "Anyways, what are we going to do now?"
Wriggle, unsatisfied, opened her mouth to say something, but was cut off by Cirno, who burst into the center of their little conversation and struck yet another dramatic pose (she seemed to have rather a penchant for them). "I'll tell you what we're going to do! We're going…" Here she paused for dramatic effect, looking round at them all. "…To sneak into the Scarlet Devil Mansion!"
This statement had various effects on the members of Team 9. Daiyousei looked wary, Mystia wore a deadpan expression, and Wriggle just stared blankly. "That has got to be the stupidest idea you've ever come up with."
Cirno instantly pouted. "But why? It'd be easy! Marisa-sandoes it all the time! That guard, China or something, is always asleep, and I bet with Rumia's shadow powers, we'd be able to sneak right past Sakuya-san and the creepy vampire sisters!"
Mystia tilted her head. "You're actually making sense for once." Daiyousei nodded. "When you put it like that, it actually seems doable!" Wriggle, however, still had her doubts. "Wait, what about that crazy librarian and her demon assistant? I bet she has some kind of weird magic spell set up that detects youkai. And besides, what are we even going to do in there?"
"Oh Wriggle, don't worry! We're 2 fairies, a night sparrow, and the Youkai of Shadows! I'm sure we can handle some stuffy old librarian! It'll be worth it to see…Flandre!"
"You mean the completely insane younger sister who had to be locked in the basement by her own sister for almost 500 years because she was too dangerous to let outside?" Wriggle gasped. "Now I know you're crazy."
Mystia furrowed her brow, thinking hard. "I don't know. Personally, I'm curious to see what happens, but I do think the plan sounds kind of foolhardy." She turned to the shadow youkai who was still behind her. "What do you think, Rumia-"
She stopped as she saw the expression on Rumia's face. The youkai stood stock still, staring straight ahead. Her eyes had shrunk to pinpoints of crimson, and she was visibly trembling. Her face was contorted into a strange expression, a combination of fear, guilt, and overwhelming anger and sadness. The rest of the girls noticed why Mystia had stopped, and immediately rushed over to their friend.
"Oh my goddesses, Rumia, what's wrong?" Wriggle asked, a worried look etched onto her face. Rumia seemed to come back to reality. She looked around at all of them, and a cold look came over her face. "I'm fine," she said. "But we can't go to the Scarlet Devil Mansion. At least, I can't." She sat down.
"Why not?" Daiyousei asked timidly.
Rumia sighed. "It's…complicated. Let's just say that that place is home to a horrible monster, one that I'd never want to expose you to."
The friends looked at each other. They were all dying to know more, but they'd all seen Rumia's reaction to going to the Mansion, and they weren't about to put a friend through that kind of pain. Cirno put a hand on Rumia's shoulder, and smiled. "We understand," she said. "Whatever your reason, we won't go to the Mansion. It was a dumb plan anyways!"
"Yeah!" Mystia said a little too enthusiastically. Cirno shot her a glare, and Mystia scrambled to change the subject. "I-instead, let's all go have some lamprey from my stand, free of charge!" Everyone cheered at this idea, even Rumia. Cirno struck one final dramatic pose. "Then what are we waiting for? Let's go! MIGHTY BAKA RANGERS, AWAY!" She zoomed off, and the 4 remaining girls ran after her, shouting for her to wait up.
Rumia sighed, and patted her very full belly. Mystia may run that stand purely as a con business, but in terms of cooking skills, she's a definite pro, she thought happily as she walked through the forest, having taken her leave of her 4 friends shortly after finishing up at Mystia's stand. She took one last moment to savor this feeling of warmth and companionship. The she let out a deep breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding, almost seeming to deflate a little in the process. She melted into the shadows once more, and zoomed through the forest until she arrived at an imposing scarlet mansion. She snuck past the dozing Chinese gatekeeper, throwing her a fond glance as she went7, and entered the mansion.
Once inside, she slowed down somewhat. She knew that at this hour Sakuya usually prowled the East Wing, but better safe than sorry. She passed the throne room, where Remilia would be impatiently waiting for the sun to set, and finally arrived at her destination, sighing in relief. Reforming out of the shadows, she quietly pushed open the door of the library, taking great care not to alert the nearby vampire of her presence.
A young-looking demon with long red hair popped out from behind a nearby bookshelf. She smiled. "Oh hello, Rumia-san! Patchouli's in Agriculture. Go on in!" Rumia smiled right back, and continued on through the library. She walked through the rows upon rows of bookshelves, occasionally glancing at the plaques on either side to ensure she was going in the right direction, until she finally heard muttering up ahead. Breaking into a run, she turned left at a particular shelf, and skidded to a stop when she saw her quarry, a purple-haired woman bent over a book and muttering to herself. Without further ado, she leaped into the air, and tackled the woman, who yelped in surprise. The two crashed into the ground.
Patchouli Knowledge groaned, and sat up, adjusting her hat. "Ooh…How many times have I told you not to do that?"
Rumia grinned. "Sorry, Patchy-sama! I just get a bit carried away!"
"And carry me away in the process…" Patchouli grunted as she heaved herself up off the floor. She dusted her dress off, then smiled at Rumia. "So, what can I do for you tonight, my lady?"
Rumia giggled. "The usual, and you really don't have to call me that, Patchy-sama!" Patchouli waved her protests off. "Yes, yes, I know. Old habits die hard, my lady." She turned, and began to walk down the aisle of books, towards yet another set of double doors as big and impressive as the library entrance. Rumia followed. She always loved this part. Patchouli came to an abrupt stop in front of the massive double doors. She took a deep breath, and whipped out a spell card from a pouch built into her dress. She chanted the name out loud: "Q.E.D.: Ripples of 495 Years!'
There was a rumbling, then, with a great roar of energy, danmaku whirled outwards in concentric circles. They flew outwards for a time, then seemed to be sucked into the door. There was a pause, then the doors swung open silently, their hinges oiled to perfection.
Rumia clapped. "Well done, Patchy-sama! You really captured the essence of pent-up frustration over being trapped in a cold, dark basement for a hundred years without the benefit of companionship except for one measly youkai who only visited because she had no real grasp of the sheer power contained within the prisoner!" Her smile turned wide and manic for a second, before it faded as Rumia shook her head, trying to clear it. "I'm sorry, Patchy-sama, just got a little frustrated there."
"Oh, it's no problem," Patchouli automatically replied, somehow managing to keep the shaking out of her voice. That had been too close. Determined to finish up as soon as possible, she walked inside the room, Rumia following close behind.
They entered a large, circular room with 5 pillars. The pillars were covered in illegible writing, all arcane symbols and impressive-looking squiggly shapes. There were candles everywhere, giving the place a rather sweet scent and a very stifling feeling. The most noticeable feature in the room, however, was a huge pentagram smack dab in the center of the room. It, too, was surrounded by runes and mystic words of power, and looked suspiciously like it was made of blood-bright scarlet blood.
Rumia's demeanor instantly changed from cheerful to serious, as if she'd only just remembered why she'd come here in the first place. She slowly, solemnly stepped into the center of the pentagram, and looked over at Patchouli, who'd already stepped into position. She sighed heavily. "Get it over with."
Patchouli nodded, and opened a heavy grimoire set on a plinth before her. Softly, she began to read from it, and the pentagram responded almost immediately, giving off a crimson glow. Rumia began to whimper as her skin began to glow an unearthly red.
Patchouli's chanting grew louder and louder as the pentagram grew brighter and brighter. The effects of the spell in full force now, Rumia began to scream in pain as her entire body shone with that horrible, scarlet light. She wanted it gone, wanted her shadows back, but it was too late now. She felt her back begin to swell and her teeth sharpening into razor-tipped canines.
Patchouli's voice grew to a shout as the change reached its apex. 2 long, thin spines burst from Rumia's back, still covered in organic effluvia. Her fingernails grew long and sharp, and her hair thickened and lengthened. She screamed once more, but there was no pain, not anymore. She embraced the light, the scarlet heat that filled her, strengthened her, made her who she was.
The light finally ebbed away, revealing a very worn-out Patchouli, panting hard. She glanced towards the pentagram, and was both pleased and slightly sad to see that the spell had served its purpose. A figure stood up slowly, looking around with an almost childish air. She had blonde hair and scarlet eyes, like Rumia, but this was no longer truly Rumia. This girl wore a bright smile that seemed just a tad too bright. Her hair was long and luxurious, and her fingernails tapered to a perfect point. Her wings (if you could call them that, as they were nothing more than stems) fluttered gently. She turned to look at Patchouli, and for a moment, something flashed in her slitted eyes.
"Patchy-sama? Are you OK?" She walked over, concern written all over her face. Patchouli coughed, then sat up. "Yes, my lady, I'm fine now. The spell always takes a lot out of me."
"That's understandable," the girl said with another smile. "Think you've got enough for one more? Sis'll flip if my wings aren't fully 'plumed'." She gestured to the 2 spindly things protruding from her back. Patchouli nodded, and pulled out another spellcard. She breathed the words on the card: "Fire, Water, Wood, Metal, Earth Sign: Philosopher's Stone!"
There was a sound not unlike glass chimes, and 2 sets of crystals tinkled gently into place on the girl's wing stumps. She grinned, and did a little dance. "Thank you, Patchy-sama!" She blew a kiss, and then flapped her now fully restored wings, rising off the ground. "You're always a huge help. I gotta go to the basement now so I'm not missed when China brings down my dinner. Bye-bye now!" She gave a cheerful wave, then seemed to melt into the floorboards. As she slid down to her room, Patchouli watched her go with a small, sad smile on her face. She waved back, just barely noticeable.
"Bye-bye, Flandre-sama."
Author's Notes:
Whoo! This clocked in at 2,923 words. I'm really happy with how it turned out. This is just a personal theory of mine, inspired by the amazing beats0me and his wonderful Touhou Sketches (he now works in conjunction with another Youtube user named Spaztique-go check 'em both out!).
This is just a oneshot for now, but if I get a bunch of requests to continue, I might (hell, I might anyways, and make it a twoshot-I have some ideas for the second chapter).
Sorry that my devoted fans of Every Time A Bell Rings have to find out this way, but the fic's been officially put on indefinite hiatus. I know, I know, but I've hit a stalemate with the plot. If anyone's super disappointed about it, you're welcome to continue it! Just PM me first, and I'll most likely give consent. I'll also put a note about this in the fanfic itself, for those of you out there who aren't Touhou fans.
Now for those pesky footnotes I kept throwing at you at every turn!
1)One of Rumia's catchphrases is "Sou nano ka?", which translates to a childish way of saying, "Is that so?"
2)This line comes from that ever-famous IOSYS video, "Cirno's Perfect Math Class".
3)In the Touhou soccer game, one of Wriggle's attacks is the very overpowered, "Wriggle Kick". If the opponent's goalie tries to block the ball, they are literally bowled over by the ball. As such, Wriggle Kick has become a popular fan meme.
4) It has been stated that Mystia runs a grilled lamprey stand, which she uses as basically an opportunity to con unsuspecting humans. She uses her powers to make the humans night blind, then gives them lamprey and slowly removes the night blindness, claiming that her lamprey cured them.
5)I got lazy halfway through the fic and decided to screw all this obscure hinting at their names through their appearances and stuff and just use their names.
6)It's a word. So is effluvia. Go look them up.
7) It's popular to portray Meiling as [REDACTED IN CASE OF SPOILERS]'s caretaker/friend. I quite like it myself.
Lemme know what you guys think! Voodoogirl360 out!
