Disclaimer: I don't own 'em or anything mentioned in this story, except maybe the spiraling thought system. On second thought, not even that.

Summary: a missing scene from Adrift II, right before we see Mac standing in the rain outside Harm's apartment.

Rain

Her simple knock on his door seemed to reverberate inside her head.

She still didn't know what she was doing or why. Autopilot seemed to be the night's motif. It was as if her mind was completely detached from her body, just watching it move and talk on its own accord.

The door opened immediately and there was Harm.

"Mac. Rene's father died. Suddenly, heart failure. She just got here."

Mac looked inside his apartment to see the blond woman lying on his couch, apparently asleep. Something was starting to wrench her insides.

"I can't do this now… I told her I'd fly back with her. I should be.. I should be gone a couple of days. I'm sorry."

Pure mental strength kept her looking nonchalant and formed a quick response,

"No, no, you have to go." She even managed to flick her eyes up to his.

"I'll call you when we land."

"Don't do that to her. She needs you, give her your full attention." Her mind screamed at him, 'But I need you too! God, Harm, how does it always get so messed up with us!'

He looked at her skeptically, as if reading her mind, "What about you?"

She sighed. Harm knew her better than she cared to admit. "I'll be ok… when you get back.."

He looked a bit shocked at her open admission. Just then Renee chose to move and mumble in her sleep and their bond was momentarily severed as he looked to his current girlfriend. When he looked back at Mac she did her best to put on an understanding smile… failing miserably. Harm looked as if he was saying something but the words weren't actually forming on his lips.

Mac took a long look into his eyes, new control taking over her body and mind. 'well you knew it was never going to work' that nagging voice in her mind sneered at her, 'there's always an excuse with you two. You'll get over it. You always do!'

"Bye, Harm." She whispered and started turning away.

Just as she was almost out of his reach, she felt his hand close around hers.

She turned back ever so slowly to find he'd followed her out to the hall and was trying to close his door quietly.

Mac remained glued to the spot, not even beginning to know how to deal with this latest twist. Apparently, Harm decided to say something after all.

Harm let her fingers slide from his as he faced her fully.

"We will see this through, you know. You and me."

She sighed, her control failing for a moment. "You think?"

He smiled that smile of his, "I know..." and he took a step closer to her, leaning hard on his walking stick.

It took every ounce of her resolve and strength to hold herself upright and apart from him, he was so close and all she wanted was to feel his arms around her.

Mac took one more shot at keeping things light, at keeping them both safe with Rene in the apartment behind him, "I thought I was the psychic one…"

Harm smiled, and brought his free hand up to caress her face. She closed her eyes at his tender touch and almost collapsed as she felt his lips on hers a second later.

He held her close and kissed her.

She responded fully, her need for him almost overwhelming.

Finally, when they were both out of breath, he pulled slightly apart and then whispered in her ear, "You may see the past and present, but I see the future…"

Mac pulled back to see him smiling widely at her.

She took a deep breath, managed a small smile and with a hand on his chest pushed him slightly backwards.

"Go to her, she needs you."

He said nothing. His thumb passed over her face, as if imprinting her features into his hand, memorizing her. He caressed her elegant eyebrows, slightly dampened cheek, her chin and over her lips.

She couldn't stand it anymore and she started walking slowly away from him, first facing him, then finally turning around. She didn't look back, but heard him opening the door and going back in.

Her body walked downstairs and outside.

Rain was starting to come down, reflecting her soul and effectively hiding her tears. She looked up to his window and her stomach tied itself in a thousand knots as she saw him hugging Rene.

Where was the justice in the world! Mic had left her because of Harm, and now that she was so close to being with Harm, this too? She felt like screaming and yet had no strength to do anything but stand there and stare at his window. The rain washed away whatever strength she thought she had left, mental and physical.

Later, dry and warm in her bed she wondered what force got her to walk to her car and drive home. She had no idea how to stop that autopilot and quite frankly wasn't sure she wanted to, for fear of the thoughts that would enter her mind if she did. Luckily enough she was exhausted and fell asleep almost immediately. The last thought drifting through her mind was a flimsy shred of hope that only dared show itself just before she fell asleep when all her defenses were down and wouldn't attack it, 'maybe, just maybe, I will be okay when he comes back… maybe we'll finally get it right…"