Kurt sighed as he grabbed the small bag of groceries from the passenger seat of his car as he got out shut the door. It was days like this that his 68 year old self found completely insufferable; Valentine's Day. It wasn't that he was bitter about it; he in fact used to love the holiday. It just wouldn't be the same this year, not without Blaine.
After 46 years of marriage, 4 children and the best of their lives Blaine had passed away in April of the previous year and it had been the worst experience of Kurt's life. The gnawing ache in his heart never fully went away and living in the same house where Blaine had lived just a short time ago; it was tragedy at it's finest.
Enduring the first Valentine's Day without his best friend, his soul mate, his lover was devastating to say the least. Their children had all offered to come and spend the day with him but he'd declined all of their offers. They all had lives, and partners and jobs to go on with; he would just have to deal with it on his own. But sometimes it was so hard.
One of the more difficult parts of the day was walking up to the entrance way of their home and finding a beautiful bouquet of flowers on the bench that sat by the door addressed to him from Blaine.
Hot tears prickled in the corners of his admittedly aged eyes. His wrinkly fingers fluttered over the card. Every year since they'd been married Blaine had gotten him a bouquet of flowers on Valentine's Day with a card that read 'My love for you grows'. 46 bouquets had come and gone and it had been their sweet little tradition.
Heart broken and slightly angry he sat down on the bench next to the flowers and pulled his phone out of his trouser pocket. He dialled the number of the florist whose label had been on the wrapping of the bouquet.
"Hello?" the florist asked when she picked up the telephone.
"Uh yes, this is Kurt Hummel-Anderson, I'm just calling about a mix up on one of your deliveries" he begins to explain.
"Oh it's not a mix up Mr. Hummel-Anderson" she says.
"I beg your pardon?" Kurt asks astonished.
"Before he passed away Blaine had prepaid for many years and asked us to guarantee that you'd continue getting bouquets every Valentine's day" she explains with an envious tone in her voice.
"Oh, uh thank you then" he says before clicking the end button and making the line go dead.
Shakily he puts his phone back into his pocket. He reaches over to grab the card he hadn't bothered to finish reading before. This time he takes the time to read it.
To Kurt Hummel-Anderson
Love Blaine Hummel-Anderson
My love for you is eternal
He doesn't have time for the card to be released from his fingers and flutter down to hit the front porch before tears are spilling from Kurt's aged eyes. He brings the bouquet to his chest and hugs it as he sobs; he holds it as if it's Blaine. He shakes violently trying to regain himself. As he shakes a letter slips out of the wrapping.
More tears spill when he picks it up and sees it's Blaine's hand writing on the envelope. It was just like Blaine to do something like that. He had always said he wasn't very good at romance yet here he was being romantic from beyond the grave. Before he even thinks of opening the letter he shuffles into the house. He grabs the flowers and sets them on the counter top with one last sniff then he goes back for his groceries; age had stolen his ability to grab both at the same time.
He puts the flowers in a vase and the groceries in the fridge all with tears silently streaming down his face. He really isn't sure how he was still crying but nevertheless he was.
His nimble fingers fumble trying to open the sealed envelope. As soon as he gets it open he's overwhelmed by the scent of Blaine, he must have sprayed the paper with his cologne. More tears fall as he lets the scent of his husband wash over him and embrace him.
He grabs his glasses from the side table and warily starts to read.
Dearest Kurt,
When you're reading this I'll be gone. I know I'm sick, everyone who looks at me can see it and I know you can too. You're just so optimistic about us that you won't admit it to yourself. But nevertheless I know by next Valentine's Day I won't be here to give you these flowers myself.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that you may not be able to read some of this because I'm crying so hard that the paper is getting wet. I'm sorry I'm going to have to leave you and our beautiful children and grandchildren. I'm sorry you're going to be crying when you read this. You're too beautiful to cry.
The point of me writing this is just to tell you one final time how much I've loved you, and do love you. How much our life that we've built has meant to me and how much you mean to me. And mostly just to remind you to be strong, although you were always the strong one so I don't know why I'm so worried.
God I'm going to miss you. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me Kurt. And even though I'm dying I still wouldn't change a thing, you've made my life perfect.
I love you so much Kurt, remember;
There's holes in the floor of heaven.
Eternally yours,
Blaine Hummel-Anderson
Ps. If it's not too much to ask would you please go to the florist, they'll have letters for the kids. Love you darling.
Kurt's heart clenched uncomfortably in his chest as he heaved for a breath. He couldn't believe there were more tears for him to cry. His husband, his everything was gone; he was alone and there was nothing he could do about it. He would give anything to feel Blaine's strong arms wrapped around him as they fall asleep at night or dance in the living just because. Then suddenly he gets an idea.
Slowly due to age he gets up and walks over to the iPod doc in the corner of the room. He selects a track and grabs Blaine's old sweater from the closet in the hall, one he never had the heart to put away. He hugs the sweater close to his chest and breathes in the comforting scent. He shuffles his feet in a dancing form and sings along to the song.
Seasons come and seasons go Year by year we made a life But there's holes in the floor of Heaven
nothin' stays the same
I grew up fell in love
met a guy who took my name
in this sleepy little town
I thought we'd grow old together
Lord I sure do miss him now
and his tears are pouring down
that's how you know he's watching
wishing he could be here now
and sometimes when I'm lonely
I remember he can see
there's holes in the floor of Heaven
and he's watching over you and me
He finishes dancing and finally the tears have stopped and his heart aches just a little less. Now he knows that Blaine's not gone forever, just for now. And whenever he gets lonely he'll just remember; there's holes in the floor of heaven and Blaine's watching over him now.
Post A/N: If you'd like to read Blaine's letters to his children review and I'll write them! This was inspired by a post on tumblr I saw, the flower part is a true story. The song was called 'Holes in the Floor of Heaven' by Steve Wariner.
R.I.P Grandmama, forever in our hearts and in heaven above.
