I opened my eyes violently as a light shined directly on me. My arms were tied above my head and my legs were pinned down. My chest and ribs hurt, but I fought against my bonds, trying to blink away the tears from the bright light.
"I'm so glad you're awake. I'd hate to see you sleep through this." A man's voice said from somewhere above me.
I tried to turn my head, but I couldn't. It was latched in place by invisible bonds. The light was blinding me and I realized I was on some kind of examination table.
A skinny man with a bald head came into view with a wicked smile. "I'd tell you this won't hurt a bit, but really, that'd be counterproductive to my end goal." He said, slowly lowering the scalpel to slice into my chest.
I screamed at the sudden pain, having no way to move away from it. But as I blinked, I wasn't laying strapped to a table anymore; I was sitting bolt upright in bed. A light flickered out of the corner of my eye and I threw myself off the bed towards the fire that started on the curtains. I grabbed my jacket and smothered the small fire quickly as there was a knock on my door.
Looking through the peephole to see who it was, I opened the door. "You alright?" Dean asked, looking worried.
"Yeah. Nightmares. Why did you let me fall asleep?" I asked, looking between Sam and Dean.
"Because we're awesome." Dean said, moving past me to make sure there wasn't anything in the room.
"You ok?" Sam asked, looking concerned.
"Not my first fire, gigantor." I told him, turning back to the room.
"Well, get some sleep. We're headin' out first thing." Dean told me, moving past me out of the room.
"Sleep." I chuckled to myself as they closed the door. "Sleep got me into this mess."
It had been two in the morning when the fire woke me from my sleep. I was too scared to go back to sleep. So I sat at the little desk the room provided and wrote about anything that came to mind. Sometimes I made up stories; sometimes I wrote like it was my journal.
I watched the clock tick by. Two, three, four, five… At seven, there was a knock on the door, to which I answered after checking the peephole.
"You get any sleep?" Dean asked.
I gave him a tired smile. "One fire is enough for a week."
He shook his head. "You got your crap together? Sam thinks he's got a lead on a vamp nest in Oregon."
I nodded, picking up my duffle bag that'd been packed since nearly three this morning. I slid my notebook and pen into the open pocket before zipping it up.
"You look like crap." Dean commented.
"I love you too." I told him, throwing my bag into the back seat. I propped it up like a pillow and laid out sideways across the seat.
"Didn't get any more sleep I see." Sam said from the passenger seat.
"Nah. I give it another seventy-two hours before I lose my shit." I told him, resting my eyes and I pulled my sunglasses down.
"Three days is a long time to go without sleep." Sam said, sounding worried.
"Just do your geek thing and tell me when I need to torch some son's a bitches." I told him, as Dean climbed into the driver's seat and baby purred to life.
Sam didn't like talking about the fact I could randomly light things on fire and I didn't like talking about the fact he was awkward around me because of it. Dean just shrugged it off. He was a lot more lax after he got out of Purgatory. I mean, his best friend was a vampire.
I looked out the window across from me, watching the trees slide by. We'd been in Wyoming for a week, chasing a hive of face eating monster freaks. I couldn't remember what Dean kept calling them, but I really didn't care. They said light it up, so light it up I did.
Watching the trees pass made me sleepy, so I turned my attention to the road in front of us, to my left. Falling asleep in the motel room was an accident I came across every three or four days when my body finally just shut down on me for a few hours. But I never fell asleep while we were driving. Dean and Sam had managed to save me from being tortured to death; the least I could do was not light their home on fire.
I pulled out my notebook and wrote to keep myself busy.
"How's the story coming?" Sam asked, referring to the story I'd made up about vampires and humans living peacefully in a futuristic world with hover boards.
I shrugged. "I don't know if Damon should be the good guy, pretending to be the bad guy, or actually be the bad guy."
Sam thought about it for a minute while Bad Moon Rising floated through the cab of the car. "What if he's the bad guy, pretending to be the good guy?"
I tapped my pencil against the paper for a minute. "Hey, ya know. That could work." I said, flipping through pages until I got to where I'd outlined the major plot points. "Damon equals bad guy, pretending to be good guy." I said out loud as I wrote.
"Still writing vampire smut?" Dean asked with a smirk as he glanced at me in the rear view mirror.
"Still banging the chick with the third nipple?" I asked passively. Dean tried to rile me, but I'd long ago found a way for most of it to roll off my back. If it stuck and I got mad, the windows in the car might burst or the leather would catch ablaze.
"Hey!" He said, sounding genuinely offended. "She did not have a third nipple. It was a mole."
"Dean. She knows the manager by name at the pay by the hour motel. That's scary, no matter what part of the country you're in." I told him as my pencil swept across the paper of my notebook. "Can we stop at a craft store when you see one? I almost need a new notebook."
Dean made no comment that'd he'd heard me, but I knew he'd stop because I'd asked.
A day and a half worth of driving later, we were parked in front of a ratty looking motel just like the one we'd left behind in Wyoming. I sat on the bed farthest from the door and felt like sleep was trying to catch me. I'd only been awake for two days, I could take another day or so.
"How are you?" Sam asked, watching me carefully.
"I'm awesome." I said with a smile.
He shook his head with a smile. It was the only way we could deal with this thing of a life I had; we'd smile and shake it off. Because I knew if we didn't, we'd all start crying. Or at the very least, I would.
"So word has it there's a nest of vamps outside the Portland area." Sam said, turning on his computer. Dean and I paused; we were on the other side of the state from Portland.
"So why are we here?" Dean asked, looking confused.
"Because the nest is in Portland. But the master has a vacation house down the road ten miles. He hasn't been seen in Portland in almost a week." Sam said, firing up his email. He was a sly dog.
Dean smiled. "You're good." Dean said, standing up. "I'm gonna get me and Blaze a room."
My head snapped in his direction. "What?"
I could feel the tension increase in the room. "Well I figure you and I can bunk together."
I shook my head. "No. Out of the question." I told him.
He looked confused. "Blaze, I'm not gonna hurt you."
I couldn't help it, I laughed out loud. Sam looked at me like I had a third head. "Dean, no. If I fall asleep, I'll light the room on fire and you'll die."
He looked at me like I was being stupid. "You're not gonna light the room on fire and I'm not gonna die." He turned and left the room.
I pulled my knees up to my chest, resting my chin on them.
"Hey." Sam said quietly, gently touching my arm. "It's gonna be ok."
I bit my lip, suddenly more worried than I had been earlier.
Dean fell asleep on the bed closest to the door. He moved around every once in a while, but I wrote until about one in the morning. He'd told me to wake him up if his phone didn't go off and like the genius he was, he had his phone on silent.
I walked over and gently touched his shoulder.
He jumped up, machete in hand, holding it out to me. I held my hands out in defense and he dropped the knife. "Sorry Blaze." He said, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
"Your phone was on silent." I told him.
He nodded, picking up the device and checking the time. "You get any sleep?"
"No, because the place isn't on fire." I told him.
He grumbled, putting his head in his hands. I envied how he could fall asleep and stay asleep for six or eight hours and wake up gradually. I hadn't gotten a night with more than five hours of sleep in so long.
I went back to my bed; my packed things laid in a nice little pile against the wall closest to my bed. "I'm gonna go get us coffee and bagels."
Dean grunted in reply and moved towards the bathroom.
I picked his wallet up off the table and a keycard to get back into the room. I closed the door behind me and walked across the parking lot to the diner that said they were open twenty-four hours. I ordered three cups of black coffee and five bagels of different varieties.
The guy behind the counter handed me the cup tray and the bag of bagels with a smile. I blushed a little bit, but smiled back and headed out the door. I knocked on the door next to mine and Dean's room, where Sam slept, then unlocked my door and set the bag and tray on the desk.
"What'd ya get me?" Dean grumbled from his bed.
"An everything bagel and black coffee." I told him.
"You really do love me." He said with a smile and closed eyes as he tried to sit up on the bed. He snatched the coffee and bagel just as Sam knocked on the door frame and sat at the desk.
I said nothing, handing Sam his breakfast.
He smiled at me and it made me feel good. There were times I wasn't useful at all; times I'd just get in their way. But other times I could help out with the little things. "What'd you get you?" Sam asked around a mouthful of bagel.
"Cheese bagel and black coffee." I told him, sipping the dark liquid. I used to hate black coffee with a passion, but since my whole 'Midas with fire' thing happened, as Dean liked to call it, I'd taken to the dark flavored water.
We ate breakfast then loaded our crap in the car and headed out of town. The moon was gone, so everything outside of the car was laid out like a pitch black wasteland. Inside the car, everything in the front seat glowed from the dull red of the radio light. The car hummed along under us until we slowed down an old dirt road.
Dean stopped the car about half a mile from an old barn. We piled out and Dean handed out weapons like Christmas presents. I got the standard issue Beretta 92. It held ten rounds in the magazine and with the two extra mags I had for it, I was pretty much set.
Bullets wouldn't stop a vamp, but it'd sure as hell slow it down. Next, Dean handed us each a syringe of dead man's blood fresh from a graveyard in Wyoming. Dean closed the trunk and led the way, as we snuck up to the barn.
"Are you sure this is the place?" I whispered to Sam, getting a bad vibe from the building.
"Yeah." He said simply.
It wasn't that I didn't trust Sam; I trusted him with my life even though I didn't always like him. But this whole thing gave me a bad feeling. Dean cracked open the barn door and went in first. I took a breath and followed with Sam flanking me.
The whole barn was quiet except for the creaking noises it made when a breeze passed through it. I looked around, trying to find any sign that another human being was here, but I heard nothing. We slowly marched forward when I suddenly turned and ran head first into the biggest spider's web I'd ever seen.
I waved my arms wildly, trying to get it as far away from me a possible. But I paused, taking a glance at the wall above me. "Uh… guys?" I whispered loudly.
"What-" Dean started, but stopping, seeing the whole wall covered in spider web. He took a step forward to see that there was dozens of sections where eggs were laid.
"Sam. What the shit?" I asked, looking over at him.
"Hey. It's not my fault." He said, defensively.
"Sam. When was the last time you saw a vampire lay eggs in a spider web?" I tried to keep my voice down, but panic was starting to take me over.
"Shut up, both of you." Dean said sharply. "Sam, go around and see if there's any more."
I started moving down the wall until I heard a noise. It was a screeching sound and I reeled around, gun up and scanning. I heard a skittering and didn't even see it's leg until it knocked me on my back, throwing the Beretta out of my hand. I covered my head as I heard Sam and Dean let loose. Half the rounds bounced off the giant spider's chest while the other half of them just made it screech loudly. At this point, it decided to charge me.
"Blaze!" I heard Dean yell before the fear took me over.
The only image that flashed through my head was Sam and Dean being wrapped in a giant spider web like some Saturday morning cartoon. I threw up my hands to stop the spider's charge and the room flooded with light.
Suddenly, there were two pairs of hands on me, pulling me away from the burning wreck of hair and legs that had been a spider only seconds ago. As soon as I was standing, I threw them off, not totally sure what had just happened.
"What was that?" Dean asked, a little wide eyed.
I picked up my Beretta and checked the magazine, not entirely sure. "I don't know and I don't care. As many eggs as there are here, I don't want to see any more of them." I said. "Twenty bucks says I can get to the car before you guys."
"Deal." They both mumbled.
We grabbed our stuff and aimed for the car. When we got to the point of standing at the trunk, I turned to look at Sam. "Some vamp."
He rolled his eyes. "Not now." He told me, like he had better things to do then talk to me.
"Sam. Have you ever seen a giant spider like that?" I asked him.
He brushed past me to climb into the car.
"Just let it go, Blaze." Dean told me as he closed the trunk and got in the car.
I got in and propped myself up again. We cruised past the hotel we had paid for the night and out onto the open highway. We drove for nearly fifty miles before anyone said anything. "If you're gonna give me crap, what was with the bonfire side show?" Sam asked, turning in his seat to look at me.
"Excuse me? I thought we were going to die." I told him.
"Yeah, but you could've roasted us just as easy as the spider thing!" Sam said.
"Enough!" Dean yelled. "Enough. We'll figure it out. Blaze, are you ok?"
I felt like all my energy had been drained. "Yeah. We should stop and get some coffee." I told him.
Instead of stopping for coffee, we stopped and got another motel room on a fake credit card. Dean got a room for him and Sam and one for me. They went to sleep and I went to the coffee pot, added water, and the prepackaged coffee bags and hit the button. I flicked on the TV and flipped through channels until I found an old Western.
I watched it until the coffee was done. It was probably the weakest coffee I'd had in a month, but it did the trick, keeping my senses heightened ever so slightly. It was almost four in the morning when Sam's comment actually took root in my brain.
"Yeah, but you could've roasted us just as easy as that spider thing!"
I nearly dropped my coffee at the pain I felt in my chest. These guys that helped me recover when I was stuck in a psych ward after everything that happened with Crowley, these guys that saved me real on numerous occasions; I was putting them in danger by even being at the motel with them.
What if I fell asleep?
What if I didn't wake up in enough time to catch the fire?
What if it spread to the whole motel and killed Sam and Dean?
Why did I have to be a freak among freaks?
Why couldn't I just be normal?
My chest tightened and I grabbed my sides, forgetting the coffee on the bedside table. I doubled over and fell to the floor, feeling my upper body heat up.
No. Keep it inside. Keep it together. Don't let it out. Don't hurt anyone.
I sucked in a breath and blew it out, seeing little sparks come off my breath. I repeated the process until the amount of sparks reduced and my chest cooled ever so slightly. I just laid on the floor, curled up into myself.
Sam was right. I was going to get them killed. Or worse; be the thing that kills them.
Slowly, I pulled myself off the floor and found the bathroom sink. I ran the water as cold as it would go, not that it helped anymore. My temperature was still high enough to warm the cold water.
"Hey Bobby." I told the old man as I walked over his salt covered threshold.
"Blaze. Good to see ya." He greeted me and led the boys into his office. "You boys get the demon?"
"Bagged and tagged." Dean said with a smile.
"Good, that's good." Bobby said.
"We're gonna catch some z's before the next big bad ugly rears its head." Dean said, nodding to the upstairs.
"Sure thing." Bobby told him as I took off my backpack and set it down.
"How was your week, Bobby?" I asked.
He shrugged. "Another day in hell." He said, before looking apologetic.
I smiled. "It's all good, Bobby. I understand a term of phrase."
He nodded, then glanced at me nervously.
"What's wrong, Bobby?" I asked.
"Heard of a place up around Washington state. They take in kids who need help with things." He said, obviously trying to be gentle.
"Things?" I asked, looking over at him.
"The nightmares, the fires. Hell, you took on more torture in the pit than most damned souls do. I'm surprised you're still holding it together this well." Bobby told me, but he said it like he was scared I was going to fall apart.
"I'm alright, Bobby." I told him.
He nodded, not believing me obviously.
"But if you give me the name of that place in Washington, I'll check it out." I told him, only to ease his nerves.
I pulled my wallet out of my pocket and found the scrap of paper he'd given me that day. I didn't know why I'd kept it, but it didn't matter. Sanctuary For All. Maybe I could stop running after this…
