"Kiba...?"
I can hear Shino call my name, feel his hand grip onto my shoulder, but I keep on staring.
My eyes frozen on the slab of stone before my feet.
I want too look at him, take comfort in our shared pain, relive myself of this torture.
But, my eyes didn't even move, The only freedom I got was the millisecond of a blink.
"Please, Kiba, You've been here for hours, Kurenai and Akamaru are worried."
I just ignore him.
"It's weird Shino, people die, It's a natural occurrence that happens to us all, Just one day your here, than the next Poof! You're dead on the floor, Hahaha."
"Kiba...Just go home, come back tomorrow.."
Why wouldn't he just shut up?
"But I that I would be the one to die, I was the careless one, I was the reckless one, I was the one who fucked up."
I felt laughter bubble up, but my throat locked around it forcing in to the pit of my stomach, I pushed my shaking hands deep into my pocket, I was scared to look at them, Out of sight out of mind right? I wonder if her blood still under my fingernails. I remember scrubbing them, but did I get it all?
"She was always here., So whenever I had a moment of weakness, I could just look at her and have my reason to be strong and know that no matter what I would never be alone.
And I never was, I always had her, by my side even when I was cocky, or running my mouth, or just being a complete idiot, she never sneered or thought I was some loser. "
The tears start up at this point, I've always hated to cry, always though of it as a sign of weakness, but I couldn't stop these tears, couldn't rid myself of the painful tightness in my chest.
"And now, I'm alone Shino, for the first time ever I'm scared, I'm so fucking scared Shino. I thought almost losing Akamaru was was the scariest thing to have happen to me, but no, that doesn't even compare to the fear I have now, How can I be strong without her? How can I go out there and face the battle field, without my source of strength?"
I'm shaking to my very core, my knees to weak to hold my weight, My knees hit the grass, wet from the earlier rain.
"Please, Kiba..Get up..I'll walk you home." Shino tugs on my shoulders.
"I can't just fucking leave her dammit! The last time I did that she took two shuriken to the chest!"
I hit full blown with the truth.
Oh God, it's all my fault..I-i shouldn't have left her alone, Oh god why the fuck did I leave her alone!?"
I grab fists full of my hair, my breathing harsh from sobbing.
"I tried my best to stop the bleeding, I tried so hard, but her heart just got weaker and weaker!"
The tears blur my eyes, burning them with their saltiness.
"I'm so sorry Hinata...You know I would never leave you again right? You know that?"
I laugh and place my hands on her tombstone, feeling the graved letters of her name against my skin.
I'll never leave you again.
