A/N: Hmm, I don't actually have anything to say in these things this time around. I was torn between this idea and an Ukitake/Hitsu/Gin idea, but this one was more ehhhh. Oh, and I started reading the proper translation of Bleach then scanlations so I confused myself and now seem to use both English and Japanese terms. Though, I guess a lot of people do that, haha.

Author: Yoru Ryu
Rating: K / PG
Listening To: Tryin' to Help -- Orson
Disclaimer: You're a poor bloody thing if ya think I own Bleach.
Warnings: OOCness, but not overly so…mostly just on Aizen since he's not fun otherwise.

Just Another Day with Gotei Thirteen
Day One

The doors slammed open as a figure came marching into the room. The figure crossed him arms to stand over and look down upon another person, eyes set.

Un-shook by the sudden intrusion into his personal rooms Ichimaru Gin lifted his head deliberately slow. "Aizen taicho," he greeted the fellow Captain with a grin.

Unfolding his arms and snapping his fingers Aizen all but pointed at the other Captain. "Come, Gin. We're going to the living world."

From the way his face moved it was obvious to those with sharp eyes that Gin were blinking in confusion. "Why?"

"Because I think it's high time you learned how to drive."

Gin was silent for a few long moments, "can you drive, Aizen taicho?"

Aizen scoffed with a wave of his hand. "That's not important. Come on, we're going."

"Bu' I 'ave to wa'er my plants."

"Leave the damn plants!"


Gigai weren't terribly comfortable, but the living world was the only place that one could learn to drive in. And the only place that had cars full stop. If it were the only place to use cars then why was Aizen-sama wanting him to learn, Gin mused to himself as he followed the taller man along the allotment of garages.

"This is the car we will be using!" Aizen held his arms out to indicate the car after he'd tossed open the garage door. It hardly looked garage-worthy let alone road-worthy. Nearly every part of it was a different colour what with being built up from several other cars. Yellow doors, a green roof, blue wheel arches… what next? Leopard skin seats? The only consolation were the pair of fluffy dice and a nodding dog in it. Stylish.

"It's so… beau'iful?" Gin smiled blankly. Did he really have to drive that? Upon closer inspection it actually had Dalmatian-spotted seats, hmm.

The Fifth Division Captain pushed his glasses back up his nose to catch the light. "Isn't it just? Kurotsuchi said it was pieced up from seven other cars, so it must be good!"

"Mus' be."

"Well, let's not waste anymore time. Hop in!" The pair of Captains stood in silence staring at the car. More and more time dragged on as Gin let his posture fall and Aizen kept rearranging his glasses. "Well!?"

"Well wha'?" Gin asked.

"Get in!"

Looking back and forth between the car and his former Captain, Gin raised his eyebrows and held his hands out. "Oh, no. After you, Aizen Taicho."

Aizen set his jaw and scowled gesturing as well, "no, no. After you."

Gin waved his hands, head bowed. "Ah couldn't possibly. I'll follow ya lead."

"No need for formalities, Gin. Get in the car."

"Nah, it's wouldn't be righ'."

"Get in!"

"I'll ge' in after ya - wouldn' feel righ' otherwise."

"Car! In!"

"After you."

"No, after you!"

"After you."

"After you!"

"After you."

"After you!"

"… why don't ya just admit ya don't know 'ow ta get in."

"Never! Lies! Lies and slander!" Aizen barked storming over to the multi-coloured vehicle and yanking on what he assumed was the door. Unfortunately the assumed door was the side mirror and it was ripped clean off to be thrown across the floor - Fifth Captain practically foaming at the mouth.

"Kurotsuchi Taicho won't be very 'appy," Gin quipped. "Maybe ya should try the keys? … oh, nevermin'…" he trailed off as the older shinigami put his fist through the window.

"All done! Now we can continue," Aizen stated, obviously oblivious to the state of his arm which had left blood all over the place.

"Tha's gonna be 'orrid to clean," Gin pointed out at the state of the spotted seats.


"We'll try somewhere quiet first," Aizen tried to say as he was tossed about in the car as it kangaroo-hopped along a quaint country trail they'd discovered. The gears ground together from the shift from second to third and the whole frame of the car creaked as it's tyres plunged down a particularly bad pothole. The engine gave a pathetic hiccup as the tyres climbed out from the hole. "Don't worry, the first lesson is always a tad jolty."

"Yeah, I'd agree if I were the one drivin'," Gin gripped the dashboard harder, seriously in fear for his gigai's life.

The car lurched to a sudden stop, tossing them both forward. "Alright, you take it from here and drive into town."

"Do ya think that's a really good idea?" Gin drawled. "My neck 'urts. Kinda like tha' time Ran-chan tied me to a chair for sittin' through 'er entire date with 'isagi-fukutaicho."

"Oh, suck it up," Aizen scoffed after a moment of processing that unnecessary information. "Let's switch," he ordered as both shinigami began the weird process of switching seats which could've been easily solved by simply getting out of the car.

"Why am I learin' to drive anyway?" Gin asked the question that'd been plaguing him all day now.

"Because when I am King of Soul Society (and the world) I am not going to drive my great self around. I'll need a chauffer!"

"Oh, great," the Third Captain muttered but Aizen didn't catch the double meaning - though he did frown disapprovingly.


Shortly after Ichimaru Gin'd put the car through two ditches and numerous hedges, run over a flock of geese then reversed over the farmer chasing them they arrived on the fringes of town, only to plough into a stationary car parked against the pavement.

"Good work," Aizen sighed and wiped his brow, "we finally got away from that man with the pitchfork. But we need to figure out a way of stopping without hitting something. Look…" He leaned forward to look at the other cars on the road pull up to a set of traffic lights safely.

"Actually, I think we need ta get outta this car in fron' first," Gin mentioned whilst examining the damage on the bonnet… not that either of them knew what anything looked like, broken or not, so it was pointless.

"Alright, I've decided. We'll follow those cars ahead. I think it would be best to reverse from this car," Aizen stated matter-of-factly.

"Got'cha," Gin nodded and threw the multi-coloured box into reverse. The pair tried to remain nonchalant as their car backed up across someone's front lawn and decimated their garden wall.

Aizen crossed his arms in contemplation. "The streets around here must be warped," he reasoned, because everyone knew he and his former Lieutenant never make mistakes.

"This thing can take a lo' of abuse," Gin countered. "Tha's good to know."

Slowly and extremely carefully they approached and joined the line of cars at the traffic lights. Missing most of the openings to pass they soon found themselves at the head of the line with a lot of highly irritable people piled up behind beeping their horns.

"Well, this is going much better than I thought!" Aizen smiled. "We've only run one person over, and quite frankly he deserved it, and we've managed not to draw too much attention to ourselves in the process. A very good job indeed."

"Aizen Taicho, wha's this man doin'?" Gin asked sat at the wheel while eyeing a man dressed in tatters dash over to them.

"Now all I need is Tosen to dress like a butler…"

Still watching the man Gin gasped. "Sosuke-sama, he's-whoa!"

Aizen jolted out of his thoughts as a wet something-or-other splattered on their windscreen. "Oh, it's wet!" he stated the obvious as soapy water sprayed in on the both of them through the broken window.

"An' it tastes 'orrible!" Aizen turned to see Gin spitting and trying to examine his own tongue.

"What's this maniac doing!?"

Spit, spit. "He's attackin' the car!"

Aizen watched on in horror as Gin produced a Soul Candy, swallowed it and jumped out at the hopeful tramp washing their windscreen. The tramp himself shrieked as a seemingly invisible force grabbed him and tossed him down the street.

"Ikorose, Shiiiiiinsoooo…!"

"No, wait! Come baaaack!" Aizen yelled as he watched the other Captain run down the street after the homeless man. "Damnit." He was about to sulk some more before he noticed the gigai sat next to him was staring - wide-eyed and perplexed.

"Uh, who are you?" Aizen asked it carefully. Mod Souls were just… wrong in the head. Best to be wary.

"Kuu, I'm Kuu!"

"Who?"

"Kuu, Kuu!" the Mod Soul repeated while throwing the fox-headed pez-dispenser away. "What're we doing?"

Aizen was actually too creeped out to answer. Ichimaru's general appearance didn't affect him like it did most people, but seeing him bright-eyed with jerky, sudden movements and touchy-feely hands was just… well yes, wrong. He had to smack the gigai to stop it putting it's finger in the cigarette lighter.

"We are, rather, I am giving a driving lesson."

"Kuu, can you drive, mister?"

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?" Aizen sighed irritably. "You wait here while I get Gin back." He paused as he remembered he didn't actually know how to get out - Gin'd jumped through the window like he did nearly everywhere.

"Kuu, I knoooooow how to get out," Kuu teased, wriggling his eyebrows.

Clasping his hands in his lap Aizen frowned nervously, "ah, we'll just wait for Gin to come back of his own accord." He could only hope his Mod Soul was a little more dignified. It was enough to put one off the idea for good.

"Kuu, ahhhhh," Kuu ran his hands over the steering wheel. "I remember these…"

The Fifth Captain snapped to attention, "you do?"

"Of course!" Kuu chirped. "Kuu, we're infused with all the common information of the living world so we can imitate our Shinigami better!"

"Of course, of course." The constant beeping of horns were starting to grate on his nerves and this sudden smartarse of a Mod Soul was trying to make him look stupid. It was all Gin's fault, he huffed.

"Kuu, sooo, for example! If I put my foot down on this pedal, like, really hard we'd go 'whooooooosh' really, really fast!"

"Don't you dare!"

Kuu slowly looked over to the other man with a devious smile that looked like one of Ichimaru Gin's best. "Floor it?"

"No!"

"Floor it?"

"No!"

"FLOOR IT!"

"Noooo!"


He added built-up areas to the list of things that annoyed him the most. It was pretty high up there too; just behind Hinamori Momo and sunlight. He'd been too caught up in the moment before he'd realised Shinso had not only sliced through that dirty tramp but the nearby buildings too… now poor Shinso was stuck. The poor thing'd gone through four entire apartments before coming to a stop. And the worst thing was that he couldn't get Shinso to retract again so he'd had to pass through those four flats himself. Ohh, the things some people did with pineapples…

It'd never be the same looking at one again.

Nonetheless, like a good master he'd persevered through pineapple perversion and found himself balanced precariously on the face of a big billboard advertising… something, and trying to yank Shinso from the big ugly woman's face. He certainly wasn't expecting to see his happy-rainbow car speeding through the street below him…

"… GiiiIIIIIIIiiiinnnn…!"

Oh. That was Aizen's girlish scream as it went by. Wow, if he'd know the thing could go that fast he'd have floored it himself, if only to hear Aizen scream - that was always great.

And if he even knew what flooring it meant…

Best get down there fast.


"You psycho! Stop nooow!"

"Hahahah!" Kuu laughed hysterically as the car raced forwards through the oddly empty streets.

If Aizen hadn't have been so caught up in his terror he'd have realised the reason the streets were empty were because they were heading straight for the-

"Oh my Menos, stop!" Aizen howled as Kuu slammed the breaks on.

The car carried on down the wooden walkway in the shipyard, it's tyres screeching painfully and ripping up the walkway as it hurtled towards the sea. After a lifelong moment the car jolted to a halt whilst effectively depositing Aizen through the windscreen.

Kuu scrambled from the smoking vehicle as Gin shot up next to him. They both watched and waited for anything else but bubbles to emerge from the water. When it finally did Kuu greeted the Captain with; "kuu, hey! You found the way out!"

Gin jerked his thumb at the car. "It says on the back of 'ere this is a Nissan Micra!"

Aizen spurted out a stream of water. There was no way one could look nonchalant in a situation like this.

Shit.


A/N: Lawl, I love Aizen, Gin and Tosen. Always seem to go for the characters that don't have all that much fan stuff around them compared to most… poor Tosen. Not that he was in this anyway but, haha.

Tsk, tsk, tsk. Aizen wasn't wearing a seatbelt. He also doesn't use honourifics in private 'cause he's egotistical like that. Naughty.