Listen
By: Nagi
Pairing: Brad/Schu
Rating: PG (maybe PG-13....)
Notes: AHHGGGG!! It's 12 fuckin' o'clock in the morning and this stupid fanfic idea won't leave me alone until I write it no da!! And it'll probably suck when I reread it again at a reasonable time no da!! .;; Anyway, this is a songfic, too no da. The song's from a band named Collective Soul and (duh) the song belongs to them. No suing no da! .
//-// indicates song lyrics
~~~~~
//Hey you're now thirsty
Walking in the deserts all alone
Hey you're now searching
Lost in isolation from your soul//
He knows I love him. I know he loves me. So why won't he accept what's between us not as a weakness, but as a chance for something good in this godforsaken (don't tell Farfarello I said that) world we live in? And he thinks I'll give up if he ignores me.
You should know me better than that, Brad.
//The bullets you bite
From the pain you request
You're finding them harder to digest
And the answers you seek
Are the ones you destroy
Your anger's well deployed//
There you sit. Typing away at that stupid computer while the person you want is just standing there behind you.... willing, but you still hurt yourself and pretend that you don't want-love him. That time after the attack with the golf club, when you stopped that asshole, I saw into your mind for the briefest moment. Your mighty shields fell for a tiny second and I saw.
I saw you didn't want me hurt.
Not as a teammate doesn't want another teammate hurt, or even as a friend wants to protect another friend.
Your mind said that it didn't want the one it loved hurt.
So why, when I confronted you about it afterwards, did you push me away when our feeling was mutual? The love was mutual...
//Hey why can't you listen
Hey why can't you hear
Hey why can't you listen
As love screams everywhere//
It's obvious you love me. It's obvious I love you.
Nagi sees it, when we work on an assignment and I keep some of my focus on you the entire time to make sure you aren't in danger.
Farfarello saw it when you stopped the golf club. When this whole mess started. The day I realized it.
I'm in love.
//Hey you now hunger
Feeding your mind with selfishness
Hey you now wander
Aimlessly around your consciousness//
I still try to get you. I taunt you. I tease you. You get annoyed with me and tell me to leave. It's the same. Everyday. Today as well, I'm teasing about getting you in bed with me. Just the same old, same old to you.
But then, I do something unexpected.
I kiss you.
//When your prophecies fail
And your thoughts become weak
Silence creates necessity
You're clothing yourself
In shields of despair
Your courage now impaired//
You didn't foresee this. Foresee me doing this. Even though I'm a horny son-of-a-bitch, I've still never crossed the line and kissed you before. Now, all of that's changed.
//You crucify all honesty
No signs you see, do you believe
And all your words just twist and turn
Reviving just to crash and burn
You're fighting til the bitter end
If only your heart would open up...//
You pull away. Surprised is an understatement for the expression you give me.
You start to babble about how I can't do this.
You.
Babble.
If this weren't such a serious moment, if my happiness wasn't on the line right now, I would have laughed. Brad Crawford, the infallible leader of the most feared assassin group Schwarz, was rattling on because some guy kissed him.
//And listen//
As I kiss you again, my mouth pressing deep onto yours, I feel you respond, almost unwillingly it seems. Then the barriers shatter. The barriers that you used to keep yourself away from me are gone with a kiss. That was all it took. We break for air and stare. Just stare at each other. Then you start the next kiss. Your lips, slightly open, fasten themselves to mine as we kiss this soul-binding kiss of our long denied love.
...Finally.
//Hey why can't you listen
Hey why can't you hear
Hey why can't you listen
As love screams everywhere//
~End~
